Sorry, I have too much going on today to try to explain the RHONJ trailer with interpretive dance and sign language. I can’t grasp why Bravo guards AN ADVERTISEMENT for their show like gold and doesn’t make it embeddable for all. So I will do a bit of purple pen on the press release and call it a day.
NEW YORK – May 24, 2016 – There won’t be any lazy days of summer when Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” returns for its much anticipated seventh season on Sunday, July 10 at 8pm ET/PT. Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are joined by new Housewives, Dolores Catania and Siggy Flicker, along with the return of a true Jersey veteran, Jacqueline Laurita. Also appearing this season are sisters Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri.. Wait whut? What happened to the lesbian couple? They aren’t mentioned at all? I thought they were downgraded after the fight in Vermont (that was Jac’s fault) but no mention at all? So you can hit people all day long in Atlanta, but not Jac Laurita? If they were cut out, then why were they at the finale filming that Jac refused to show up for?
The oddball lawyer , James Leonard, who has sidled up to Joe and Teresa Giudice has sold another story to People Magazine. He went to visit Joe yesterday and say that Joe is doing as well as can be expected, “I would say that he is adjusting very well. I know that he misses Teresa and their four daughters immensely, but Joe will get through this, just like Teresa did.”
Joe’s mother elderly mother, Filomena and his sister Maria were also at the prison visiting yesterday. That must be a long day for his mother with over three hours round trip of travel time, and the time it takes to get checked in, and then the actual visitation time. Leonard’s arrival probably ended their visit.
Teresa has applied for a waiver of the rule that prohibits felons from visiting inmates and that paperwork is still in process. In a spouse situation like this, it is usually just a formality regarding the paperwork. Leonard says, “Teresa will be visiting with the girls as quickly as she is approved by the prison, which should be within the next week.” I think that is probably an optimistic guess on when she will be allowed to show up, but I do feel confident that Leonard will contact People again with any minor development.
Joe Giudice reported to Fort Dix just over a week ago on March 23, 2016. Just before his self-surrender, Joe gave an interview to People saying that it would be easy time and he could be out after serving only 18 or his 41 month sentence. He told the site, “”I shouldn’t be in there longer than a year and a half. You get good time, and now they have, with my kind of crime, you are eligible for programs in there so I will do as many programs as I can. A lot of programs knock 10 days off a month. So, whatever programs are available. I don’t care if I have to take up to 24 hours, seven days a week, I will knock off as many things to pass time and get it over with and get out. That’s what your goal is, to basically work on getting out.”
Joe is a wee bit confused. Currently the BOP lists Joe’s release date as, 3/14/2019, that assumes he will get his approximately five months of good time. If he doesn’t get good time his release date will be 8/23/2019. But let’s assume he doesn’t lose any of his good time. There are not “a lot of programs” that he can sign up for like macramé classes or weight watchers that will result in a sentence reduction. There are four. He can try for clemency (from say, the governor), he can try for compassionate release (if say he was dying or some other major tragedy was occurring), he can try for extended halfway house time through the Second Chance Act, or he can do the Residential Drug Addiction Program (RDAP). Of those four choices, he qualifies for one. The RDAP program.
Because Joe is not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, I think he misunderstood the sentence reduction for completing RDAP. A prisoner who competes the program is eligible for up to 12 months off their sentence and an added 6 months to their halfway house time (if eligible, Teresa was not eligible for a halfway house and neither is Joe.) So I think he heard something like “You can get out of prison 18 months earlier (yet still serve an extra 6 in a halfway house) and interpreted that as him “getting out in a year and a half.” That is not going to happen. But you may be surprised to find out how quickly he could be out of Fort Dix.
Frankly, I wasn’t sure he would actually go through with his self-surrender. But he did. Joe Giudice is officially a federal inmate who is probably still going through processing and the famed body cavity search. (No Big Deal, according to Joe.)
Joe’s offbeat attorney, James J. Leonard Jr.issued a press release saying, “Joe Giudice surrendered himself to the Federal Correctional Institution at Fort Dix today at 12 p.m. to begin serving his sentence. His brother, his sister and several other members of the Giudice family, as well as myself, were present when he turned himself in to the prison, including Teresa. It was obviously a very emotional day, but this is a very strong family with a tremendous support system and they will get through this, just as they did when Teresa was away.”
RELATED: Joe and Teresa Giudice Manage to Piss Off Judge During Sentencing
This morning, shortly after Wendy Williams declared that Joe Giudice’s federal placement at Fort Dix today is a “soft prison” the term immediately started being mentioned in comments here. I’ve been doing a lot of research on the prison since he was assigned there. I would not call this a “soft prison” at all, and frankly the camp doesn’t sound any better. So Joe was right when he said his Low Security placement, or simply “Low” as the inmates call it, isn’t much different because the both suck.
What do #FelonsByBravo do when they have only 48 hour left of freedom before being sent off of a four year degree? They sell an interview to People magazine!
Joe Giudice who was initially charged with 39 counts of fraud and then the FEDs added two more counts, will begin serving his 41 month sentence, which ironically turned out to be a month for every felony, on Wednesday.
Joe tells People it’s “No big deal” and says that his fellow felonious friends say that the low security prison where he is going is “almost the same as the camp” that is housed on the same grounds. Yeah, he will soon find out the differences between low security and the camp. You know what happens to the people in the camp who fuck up? They get to be bunkies with Joe. And I’ve always seen the charm in Joe that Teresa fell for, no really, I have. But he looks like a guy that sweats a lot and doesn’t place a premium on bathing. Joe would not be an ideal bunkie. He also seems a little soft. That will change.
Teresa Dog Sledding in Vermont!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey have been filming since even before Teresa Giudice was sprung from prison. Last week a few of them went on the group trip. Teresa was joined by Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga and Robyn Levy and her wife Christina Flores. What is NOT clear is whether or not Juicy Joe is there. I get the feeling since it is so close to his self-reporting day, and well, you know, so close to the border with Canada, he was not allowed to go. Teresa has posted 99 pictures of her with Juicy at a recent family wedding. I’d assume that if he were allowed to go she would have a photo of them together in Stowe.
We have photos of Joe and Melissa, and we have photos of Robyn and Christina. I don’t know too much about that last couple. But I have to say their Instagrams are full of photos of their adorable kid (kids?). I mean I don’t really get twitching ovaries over babies, but their kid is adorable. They are supposedly long time friends of Teresa and Juicy’s who conveniently showed up when gay marriage is the new black. If you recall both Giudice’s have made disparaging comments about the gay community and don’t really strike me as having any gay friends. Regardless, they’re here, they’re queer and they have an adorable kid or two. I like them already.