Category Archives: Jacqueline Laurita

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Swimming With The Gefilte Fishes

RHONJ teresa ashlee
I literally had to force myself to wake up from my coma for this episode of RHONJ. I’m pretty sure it is not going to be worth missing any sleep over, but maybe they will surprised me.

Dolores is renovating her house. Wait, no she isn’t Frank her ex husband has completely taken over the project, and he is doing things his way. Siggy seems to be more upset about her lack of input than Dolores is about hers. I really wish I could have my kitchen gutted. I should have done it years ago but I wasn’t planning on staying here anywhere near as long as I have. Now I feel some sort of way about doing it for the next person.  Later the girls come over to “help” with some demo. Delores’s business partner in the gym calls pissed because once again she has not gone in to work.

Since Dolores and Siggy have basically been run out of Delores’ house they head over to Jac’s to find her shoveling her own sidewalk.  Or so we are supposed to believe. Of course it is time to rehash the fight between Jac and Tre. Even production is supporting Jac’s side of the events and actually shows that Teresa started the whole mess by bringing up crap from five years ago that Teresa has agreed to put behind them several times already.  Of course we have the counterpoint over at Melissa and Joe’s, because Melissa has been tasked with fighting Teresa’s battles.

Teresa gets to remove her anklet bracelet. I am so tired of seeing Teresa’s ass in the air. I’m also annoyed that all of Teresa’s furniture is still in her house. Crime does pay.

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Get Out Of My Kitchen!

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time to head back to New Jersey to hang out with our favorite Felons By Bravo.  Frankly, we are off to a dull season. Sure Jac is going to stir the pot tonight, but I’m really not interested in anyone else’s storyline yet. I need Dolores and Siggy to deliver, because it doesn’t seem like Teresa can carry this show.  There are only five women, which is something I have always wanted, but they have to be five established women with interesting storylines.

PSA: Teresa and Sonja, who are probably two of the most delusional housewives of all time are on WWHL tonight. Who will spin the most lies? WOW. Huge time delay due to Olymipic Tennis, about 34 minutes. I don’t know how this will effect WWHL tonight. I went ahead and started watching Big Brother and it is a magnificent episode so far. I thought they would try to edit Paulie a bit better but they are showing it all.

Teresa

Just like most of us, Milania has had enough scenes with Tre yammering on about yoga. Melissa calls to invite Teresa and Milania to NYFW where Melissa’s kids will be walking in someone’s show.

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Filed under Chris Manzo, Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Life to Envy

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time for another episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m not really sure what I would like to see on this show. I am not interested in Jacqueline at all. I am already tired of the “Joe doesn’t want Melissa to work” fake storyline.  I was trying think of what would make me happy and then I saw the description for tonight’s episode.  It says in part, “Teresa records her audio book.” This might be amusing. Let’s find out.

But first, it’s time for the grand opening of Envy.  This is the first big scene for Teresa in the world at night. She almost violated her probation by being late getting home. Hopefully, we will see that panic.

Does anyone believe that Joe can read blueprints? Anyone? I see no hands.

Teresa gets in the car with her lawyer, Shady McShaderpants,  and kisses him. We hear it but don’t see it. What is that editing all about. Let’s see if Teresa kisses anyone else she meets today. It is interesting that her “lawyer” drives her around like a chauffeur. Why isn’t she driving her eighty thousand dollar Lexus to wherever they are going. Teresa says there are stories out that she is divorcing Joe. I think she will divorce Joe. I don’t see her moving to Italy.  We get a montage of old footage about Joe’s cheating. They show the time he was in the vineyard yakking away to his side piece while wearing his microphone calling Teresa his “bitch wife.”

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Can A Leopard Change Her Spots?

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway.  Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here?  Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison.  She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault.  Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!

Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.

 

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Very Hairy Christmas

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

 

 

I need another day in this weekend! I have been in a weird headspace and my body just feels like it is slogging through mud in order to do anything at all. So this I going to be a slow recap night. It took me three days to get the latest RHOA tea up. It’s good. You really should check it out.  Any why does Banjo need to go out at precisely 8 pm every night. At least he is regular I guess.

We start with Teresa’s suspect lawyer making a statement to the press outside her house. He has clearly worked himself in to a paid role. Is he the first male FOH? It would seem so. He had more airtime last week than the new fulltime housewives.  Everyone pretends to watch this on the news from their phones at home.  What we saw was Bravo filming it.

Jacqueline seems to cry. Then she sees the new Lexus SUV with a bow. She says, “Same old Teresa.” Exactly. What kind of idiot does that the second they are out of prison for robbing people?  The Joe and Melissa stories are staged and filmed much later than we are supposed to believe. Melissa doesn’t understand that Teresa refused to let her visit because she didn’t want to be seen in her worst moments by an adversary. It’s one of those “Never let them see you cry” sort of things.

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Jingle Bells & Prison Cells

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita — (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

Well the time has finally come for the return of the recently released Felon by Bravo to make her joyous return to the ginormous house built from fraudulent funds.  To Teresa it all seems like a bad dream, something horrible that happened to her through no fault of her own. We begin with the car ride from the prison. She is driven home by her really interesting celebrity lawyer.  He’s been stuck to this family like glue since January of 2015 as if he has no other clients.  It looks like we will have to wait for the reuniting to be seen though because filming started and we first have to use the footage that was shot without her.

Melissa

I am in the minority in that I like Melissa Gorga and Joe. They haven’t been convicted of anything yet, they are not being investigated by the Feds that I know of, and they don’t have any health related storylines. Frankly, that’s about all I can hope for at this point.  So I will tolerate the scenes of her opening “her” new boutique.  I believe she has invested in that about as much as she invested in that weird garbage truck business with the shady guy who went to jail. Her storyline this season is that Joe doesn’t want Teresa to work.

I liked the scene at the kid’s baseball game. Joe is worried that Teresa won’t want to come to their house for Christmas. He’s also worried that she won’t be able to because of her house arrest. Melissa is worried about Teresa coming because Teresa would not put her on her contact or visitation list. They haven’t had any contact since Teresa went to prison.

Sweet baby Jesus!  Joe got fully undressed, took a shower and put on new clothes with cameras on him the entire time.

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Filed under Dolores Catania, Entertainment News, Jacqueline Laurita, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice