Category Archives: Jacqueline Laurita

Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Shit We Didn’t See Part Three Thousand

classy teresa RHONJ

Dear RHONJ,

Please lay down. You are dead. It’s over. Fine! Arrivederci!

Love Tamara Tattles.

Fine. I will pay attention to you ONE MORE TIME. But this is out last breakup conversation. Do you hear me? No more. I’m changing my number. At least there is a psychic. I always like a psychic. Unlike you ungrateful bitches.  Oh they are astrologers! We have a surplus of those here at Tamaratattles.com  I can envision the stupid comments already. We will be hearing about rising signs and retrogrades for sure. They are ASTROTwins. Amber just says she has been a “devote Catholic” for the last five years. That’s like five lentil seasons! At least Rosie is there. When she is the exciting addition, we’re in for trouble. The astrotwins read the twins charts first. They are Virgos and people should be careful not to cross them. Amber decides to compromise her “devote” beliefs in about ten seconds.  Did you have difficulty with an Aries? She doesn’t know what anyone’s sign is. Melissa is an Aries and Amber was an Aries in a past life…so …okay I can’t with this.

Tre is up next. Taurus with Gemini rising. She is here to learn how to be a provider in this life. The astrotwins tell Tre that she is going to feel the most stress in the beginning of 2015. That is when she is going to the big house! They even say Saturn will be in her legal house. They also say something about changing Joe’s legal team. Interesting. Teresa doesn’t know what a backbone is. The astrotwins say that they will have to spend some time apart but it will make them stronger. Tre is crying. So is Melissa. They say she will have to downsize a bit in 2015.

The twins take Dina lingerie shopping. So they go to Victoria’s Secret. No, wait. No they go to a dildo shop full of crotchless panties. Because, New Jersey. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 2 (Recap): A Whale-Sized Douche

RHONJ Reunion 3

Before we get going on tonight’s recap, I need to take a quick minute to acknowledge the utter hideousness of this set. It looks like something off Dynasty circa 1984.  This is a NYC set? Also I hate all of the dresses. Every last one of them. Why are they allowing white? White on TV used to be a big no no. Maybe now that we have flat screens and high definition it isn’t an issue? I like TereSSa’s dress in theory but the boobs are a problem. Nicole’s is probably the best of the bunch but that sort of like winning the Special Olympics in this case. No offense to TeeCee’s kid’s accomplishments. It’s just a simile. I had more to say but it is already starting, so I better quit while I am behind.

We go straight in to Teresa and how she has changed as a person over the six season she has been on. Teresa looks so much younger in 2008. Teresa says she has definitely changed for the better. She doesn’t worry about petty things anymore and focuses on what is important. Cut to tight shot of Melissa trying to keep a respectable, face and not roll her eyes. You can see the effort. Andy asks if her values have changed. She says, “Everything, yes.” Cut to TereSSa turning her head and letting out a deep sigh.

Tre says she came on the show just to have fun and look where she is now. Andy asks if she blames the show. She says not the show but a lot of people who came on the show came on just to hurt them. Some were housewives and others just came to parties, but the all started a lot of trouble. I guess those trouble makers cause her to commit 41 counts of fraud. They sound like real assholes. They show a clip of Danielle season two talking about the house she lived in before they moved into the mansion. Danielle accused them then of being in foreclosure. Next it’s season 3 with Kim G. Then season 4 where Teresa tell Jac that if she was going to jail, she is sure she would know about it. Teresa laughing in a talking head about going to jail. Tre says to the others to be careful because people come on the show to try to hurt them. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Secrets Revealed

RHONJ S6 CastOMG I was bingewatching Bad Judge and time got away from me. Suddenly, I am 9 minutes late into RHONJ and it is NOT taping!  I tuned in  just in time to hear Amber telling Dina about “Alana” the hooker side  of her? WTF? I feel like I missed so much in nine minutes! Did I miss Amber giving head to a bottle? Allegedly?

On to discussing divorce. And marriage. Dina knew her husband since she was 11 and he was 18. Is it me or is that kind of creepy? But Teresa chimes in and says she has know Joe since she was born. They used to play together as kids and Joe was always in trouble and her mother warned her to stay away from him.  Oddly, today? or was it yesterday was Tre and Joe’s 15th wedding anniversary. I’m assuming the ladies are in Atlantic city. When this was being filmed some sent me some information about Teresa winning $1,000 while she was there. I was a bit skeptical because the name was spelled wrong. Maybe we will find out. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Judgment Day

Twitter: John Bathke

Twitter: John Bathke

And just like that, RHONJ comes to an abrupt stop after only 12 episodes. This of course means that everyone gets about half the check for a normal season. What remains to be seen is whether or not Teresa and Joe will film a few more post sentencing episodes to scrap together a few more bucks. I suppose time will tell.

We start the show at the courthouse. I really think that is cool looking court house. Love the blind justice statue. Paul Fishman announces that Joe Giudice received 41 months and Teresa got 15.

Then we flash back to six months earlier. Teresa and Melissa are hanging out at her house with all the kids. The kids are bouncing off the walls. Teresa is stressed.

Meanwhile, Dina and the twins are at “Abbey’s House” where the Project Ladybug event will be taking place. It’s ginormous. Is that an actual residence or an event hall? There are giant dogs there that make it seem like maybe Abbey lives there. Oh, it is her home and Dina is worried about the hoodlums coming. Victoria is NOT invited. Teressa is still expecting an apology from Teresa. She makes snide comments about the Giudice family falling apart.

You know what would be great? Another segment about Amber’s cancer. I can’t wait or recap this shit. Continue reading

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Manzo’s With Children Catch Up Post!

Manzod with children

It’s time to check back in with the Manzos. I’m going to zip through the last two episodes I have missed in a quick post. On the first episode, we see Albert!  Caroline is bitching about doing the boys laundry and Albert points out she doesn’t need to be doing it. This reminds me of when I would be at college, or even beyond those years out working and I would drive home with a trunk full of laundry. I was bringing it because I didn’t have a washer and dryer (Fun fact: I still don’t have a washer and dryer) and I could get it all knocked out in the luxury of home without sitting in a laundromat all day. Mother would moan and groan at the site of it, and then I was forbidden from doing my own laundry. It was a scene that would play out over and over. I’d try to do my laundry but she would have none of it. All the while complaining about doing my laundry at my age. I think it’s just what moms do.

Anyway, those unemployed shiftless Manzo boys are opening up their second restaurant in this episode. Their newest location is at a race track. If these two would stop running restaurants and making bank on TV shows, they would have time to get a damn job like the rest of us. But alas, they are too busy meeting with contractors to build the new site. They are unhappy that the new site at the track is so small. Allegedly. It’s supposed to be small it’s a racetrack stand, people.  And a beer truck. Continue reading

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Filed under Albert Manzo, Albie Manzo, Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Lauren Manzo, Manzo'd With Children

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: #SorryNotSorry

rhonj kathy and jac

We are starting with a fake scene filmed in June. This time Kathy and Jacqueline will not be eating salad, or lunch, no dear readers, this time we get to watch them eat…..wait for it….Kathy’s cannoli! Because watching Jac, who did not film the entire season eat random food items is still more interesting than the new cast members. Let’s watch. Because sadly there is not enough for me to fast forward through. I think that must be why they are starting off with it. Bastards. Richard’s crude sex talk is also considered more interesting than the new cast.

Melissa and Amber are at a bar together. Melissa tries to explain why production has paired these two for this scripted dialogue by pointing out in her talking head that she does not hold Amber responsible for “douche Jim.”  I think Jim may have been called a douchebag more than Juan Pablo from The Bachelor at this point. Is there a trophy he should try to retrieve? Melissa wants us all to see the Chanel bag that she is carrying. She props it on the bar and turns the sparkly logo toward the camera. Here’s the thing. Chanel is not seeking promotional fees from a real housewives show. So, this is either a fake (most likely) or it will be used as evidence in an upcoming bankruptcy filing. I am not into the whole handbag thing so I can’t make that assessment.  Anyway, I think I would rather go back to Richard Wakile making cannoli jokes. I am starting to agree with production. There is really nothing about this scene to move the scripted plot forward. Melissa and Amber are fake storyline friends again.

Nicole arrives at the cannoli joke fest with Bobby in tow. He will fit in great with Richard and Chris. Nicole’s talking head is about Bobby treated her badly in Boca Raton. And here we go with the autism crap. Jac feels the need to tell a woman that she has known for five minutes about her kid’s milestones and that “autism is a spectrum.” I was proud that Jac pronounced her words correctly. Oh, and she wants Nicole to know she has had five miscarriages. You know, the normal conversations that two women have within two seconds of meeting each other. Nicole counters with the whole, “Oh by the way, people say my twin sister’s husband fucked out mother but that’s totally not true.”  Then the group of women decide to call Victoria Gotti, “vagina” as any group of grown women would do.  Jac wonders if she is going to get murdered. Sadly, I doubt it.  Rich calls Teresa Giudice “Felonini.”  Kathy and Jac and Rosie all gang up on Teresa Giudice and tell Nicole not trust her because she is a horrible person. Perhaps she is, but they just made themselves look equally bad. Continue reading

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Did Dina Manzo Cause Problems At The Reunion with Ashlee Holmes?

RHOJ DinaIt seems that Ashlee Holmes flew into NYC to do hair and makeup for Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri for the reunion. Her mother Jacqueline was apparently invited to the reunion but had a prior speaking engagement at an autism event. According to Ashlee, Dina tried to disrupt her from doing her job and basically was unkind to her. This was sent to me last night when I was swamped with other things.  I’m not exactly sure how to string this all together.

Apparently, next week Nicole hangs out with Jacqueline, to eat salad or whatever the set up is this week. Jacqueline claims that Nicole told her that Dina told Nicole that Jacqueline is crazy. Ashlee and Lexi are not happy with each other. Jaqueline no longer wants to be friends with Teresa because Teresa has low moral stands. In other words there is still a lot of bitching going on across generations in New Jersey.

Click through for the screen grabs caught by a Tamaratattles.com reader.  Continue reading

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Manzo’d With Children Recap

Manzod with children

Yay! It’s time for Manzo’d With Children which I am really hoping will be fun and cute like Don’t Be Tardy!  All the kids have move back in for the show, I mean for various reasons. Greggy Bennett calls to say he is home to visit family and wants to see them. Greggy is Lauren’s bridesman. He is going to go wedding dress shopping with Lauren and Glamor Magazine. Lauren looks great by the way.

Jac is wearing the same shirt in this scene with Lauren that she wore in her talking heads on RHONJ tonight. Lauren has a sweating problem and wants to do underarm botox to deal with it. Caroline is worried that Lauren is getting bit too into cosmetic issues she’s had the lap band surgery and a breast reduction, and now she wants botox? I think Lauren is just fine and Caroline worries too much.

Greggy!!!! Jesus he has put on 20 pounds of muscle since we last saw him. Vito wants to get married in white and Lauren is not having it.

Caroline and Jac go with Lauren to get botox. There will about twenty injections per pit. I can’t believe we are watching this. I think this is a Bravo first.

Lauren goes to try on wedding dresses. She brings Caroline, Jacqueline, Greggy and some other people from the wedding party. Caroline cries at the first dress. Lauren looks gorgeous. That was a cute episode. And now there is another one!

Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Jim, Please Pack Your Knives and Go

RHONJ Amber florida

It’s time to tune in to RHONJ and find out how long Jim Marchese lasts in Florida before (hopefully) being thrown out in his pointy little head.

We’re back in Florida and everyone is drunk. Bobby confronts Jim over the rumor he is putting out that Bobby has another girlfriend. Jim says he say pictures of her in red lingerie. Bobby storms off again ranting that Jim is a lying sack of shit. He needs to stay with his woman or bring her up to their room with him. No man should leave their spouse around Jim Marchese. Amber is drunk and smoking and crying. Amber is having a full on drunken meltdown because Jim ruined everything. Teressssa says that Jim is a classic example of Napoleon complex.  The truth hurts so he starts attacking Rino saying the he tried to fuck Victoria Gotti, he slept with some rusty stripper… Teressa says,”Do you really think he fucked a stripper?” Jim says, “No, but I think he fucked your mom!” Awkward silence. Mouths drop. Joe Gorga tells Jim to go to bed. He minds him and giggles his way up the stairs.  Amber goes up after him and Jim starts mistranslating a latin quote to explain his behavior that quote is historically tied to….wait for it…..wait for it….Napoleon Bonaparte. You can’t make this shit up.

Joe and Teresa are going to NYC to have an overnight date night. Teresa threatens Milania with boarding school. She should follow through on that it would be great for Milania. Continue reading

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WWHL With Rita Wilson And Jacqueline Laurita

WWHL rita jac

I’m irritated as hell by that episode of RHONJ. I feel like I almost have to defend Jim Marchese. Sure he was being a little bitch but he sent Bobby into the bathroom to hide for the whole episode?

I may not say much about this episode. But I wanted to give you guys a place to comment.

Andy points that the new Wakile house has a turret as do most of the RHONJ homes. This seems to be a real housewives thing. Chateau Sheree’s is pretty much all turrets are not many rooms in the whole monstrosity that are not circular.  And Kim Zolciak’s house is a turret fest as well. Clearly these people have never tried to decorate a round room. It’s a PITA.  One round room is fine. 17 round rooms is a problem. See my walk thru of Chateau Sheree here.

Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap Gators and Pussy Boys

RHONJ S6 CastLast week’s RHONJ episode was one of my favorites. I loved the girls in Florida. Everything was light up until the last few minutes. Today? The shit hits the fan.

The girls go to the alligator farm and Dina falls in love with a tailless alligator because she is obsessed with defective animals. The girls race in swamp boats and go looking at gators. The girls seem to be having a blast. But I’m a died in the wool gator hater and I don’t like gators of any species.

Time for another PR shot of future prisoner 983-0939 spending quality mother time with her daughter, Audriana  who is of course coloring pictures of mommy and Daddy. Juicy shows up to let us know that Chris Laurita wants to make up with Juicy over a bottle of wine. Teresa reads a text from Jacqueline and cries in her talking heads. Teresa is still skeptical about getting together with Jacqueline. She’s not over all the trash that Jac talked about Joe at the reunion. Joe helps Tre with her coloring. Seriously.

I am fast forwarding through the exploitation of Nicholas. Sorry.

Wait, is that Kevin Jonas who is the builder for the Wakile house? WTF? I think he actually does have a construction business but I didn’t think he was so hands on. I think Kevin built his huge home he lives in. Rosie arrives and explains that she is done with her fake Bravo girlfriend.  That chick or someone pretending to be her was shopping around a story about how she was roped in to pretending to be Rosie’s girlfriend. I’m not really interested enough to care. Continue reading

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Court Status Updates for Bravo Personalities

What was wrong with peach?

This is Phaedra’s house.

It’s time for a round-up of several cases involving Bravo personalities… We may even have a few more charges coming for some new ones! Um Yay?  This is really starting to bore me actually.

From Atlanta:

Yes, there was a trial date set for last week in Phaedra’s case against Angela Stanton.  And no it didn’t happen. As much as you and I would love for there to be a trial, that was never Phaedra’s intention. This is the second time a date has been set and the second time a flurry of motions have been exchanged by the attorneys on both sides.  Eventually, Phaedra will get tired of this game and a settlement will be reached. I have a feeling Phaedra will not like the settlement.

In other Phaedra news, she is busy whitewashing things. Literally. Phaedra’s peach house was completely repainted white (with gray trim) last week. She’s still working on getting the new gate installed. That project seems to have stalled. A white stucco(ish) house is not really a grand idea in Georgia. You may have heard of our red Georgia clay. It manages to find its way onto all sorts of things. Besides, I really liked the peach color.

Anyway, Phaedra is off on a two state book tour. Because, apparently, casual followers of the show still buy in to the whole “southern belle” routine. Her fans were never very bright to start with…

Continue reading

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