(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)
It’s time for another episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m not really sure what I would like to see on this show. I am not interested in Jacqueline at all. I am already tired of the “Joe doesn’t want Melissa to work” fake storyline. I was trying think of what would make me happy and then I saw the description for tonight’s episode. It says in part, “Teresa records her audio book.” This might be amusing. Let’s find out.
But first, it’s time for the grand opening of Envy. This is the first big scene for Teresa in the world at night. She almost violated her probation by being late getting home. Hopefully, we will see that panic.
Does anyone believe that Joe can read blueprints? Anyone? I see no hands.
Teresa gets in the car with her lawyer, Shady McShaderpants, and kisses him. We hear it but don’t see it. What is that editing all about. Let’s see if Teresa kisses anyone else she meets today. It is interesting that her “lawyer” drives her around like a chauffeur. Why isn’t she driving her eighty thousand dollar Lexus to wherever they are going. Teresa says there are stories out that she is divorcing Joe. I think she will divorce Joe. I don’t see her moving to Italy. We get a montage of old footage about Joe’s cheating. They show the time he was in the vineyard yakking away to his side piece while wearing his microphone calling Teresa his “bitch wife.”
(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)
It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway. Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here? Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison. She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault. Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!
Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.
Filed under Dolores Catania, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice
Sorry, I have too much going on today to try to explain the RHONJ trailer with interpretive dance and sign language. I can’t grasp why Bravo guards AN ADVERTISEMENT for their show like gold and doesn’t make it embeddable for all. So I will do a bit of purple pen on the press release and call it a day.
NEW YORK – May 24, 2016 – There won’t be any lazy days of summer when Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” returns for its much anticipated seventh season on Sunday, July 10 at 8pm ET/PT. Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are joined by new Housewives, Dolores Catania and Siggy Flicker, along with the return of a true Jersey veteran, Jacqueline Laurita. Also appearing this season are sisters Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri.. Wait whut? What happened to the lesbian couple? They aren’t mentioned at all? I thought they were downgraded after the fight in Vermont (that was Jac’s fault) but no mention at all? So you can hit people all day long in Atlanta, but not Jac Laurita? If they were cut out, then why were they at the finale filming that Jac refused to show up for?
Tonight, on Teresa Checks In, the final episode will be a trip to visit Teresa in prison. But first Gabriella is trying in vain to keep Milania in line. Juicy Joe is not much help basically just asking her what is wrong with her over and over. Milania thumbs her nose at both of them and hops on to her pricey pink ATV and zips away leaving Joe and Gabriella to clean up the mess she made by the pond. Joe manages to drop his phone in the pond. Gabriella who is furiously trying to fix everything and be both mother and wife, quickly informs Joe that he has to put it in rice. Joe spends forever trying to recover the phone. Eventually he puts on waders and tries to scoop the phone out with a net. This is of course poinless, and I’m not sure we actually saw the phone go in. So it’s possibly just storyline so that they can show Gia videoing everything going on and emailing it to her mother. Besides, all they would need to do is take some stolen funds from under the mattress and buy a new one. It’s clear their standard of living has not decreased at all.
HERE IS THE TEA ON THE ATTORNEY THAT IS FEATURED ON THIS SHOW. IT’S MUST READ!
Speaking of their standard of living, the Giudices and the Gorgas are headed “upstate” on vacation. They are apparently going to the Catskills where they went in the early seasons of RHONJ. Juicy Joe’s dad used to go with them.
Teresa did not approve Melissa to visit. Teresa’s odd attorney does a talking head about prison visitation. Continue reading
I really can’t with this show tonight. I’ve recently booked a vacation for Christmas and my room has no TV. Sometimes budget living can be just what you need. I’ve GOT to have some time off the laptop. I’ve seen the first look for this and I find it amusing that Melissa thinks Teresa’s email list is too full to include her. It’s not. She has unlimited emailing abilities. Andy Cohen is on her email list for fucks sake. Teresa hates Melissa. That’s all there is to it.
I have no interest in seeing the Joes work out together. Gabriella makes it clear that it is her, not Gia who is replacing Teresa. Gia is busy filming videos and hanging with her teenaged friends without supervision. Gia is smooth at placating Melissa. Milania loves a good latte.
Is this over yet? I’m sofa king bored.
Is Joe driving an unregistered motorcycle? Will he ever learn? Continue reading
When you were in college and had a big test the next day, did you ever stay up way too late the night before even though you know you needed your sleep? It’s sort of a self-sabotaging behavior. Well, that is what I did last night. I knew that this show and WWHL were going to be time consuming ventures so I binge watched TV shows until 8 a.m. Because, idiot.
But I am excited for the show to start and see if we learn anything interesting. My guess is going to be no. No we will not.
We begin with a montage of pictures of Joe and Teresa after their sentencing. And then a quick switch to Audriana, Milania and Gabriella home alone with Joe Giudice. Milania is learning how to cook sausages.
The agenda on this day includes a memorial service to remember Joe’s father who past away a year ago, and Gia going to her 8th grade dance. Joe says that the memorial means that they should always be nice to everyone. Then Joe goes in on Gia for her pimples. Because, Joe.
In court, Joe asked if he could drive the girls to the end of the driveway to get to the bus. She said no. So he’s shown walking them to the gate. I think they are old enough to walk to the gate by themselves. Around here, if you live less than a mile from school, you get no bus stop and you have to walk.
Joe’s cousin Teresa has practically moved in to help out with Joe. Teresa has been in constant contact with cousin Teresa to tell her exactly what to do for the memorial at her house. Joe says the Tre only gets 300 phone minutes a month but she has unlimited emails. He says she is doing yoga classes and spin classes in jail. This makes me think I could probably stand to do a year at camp cupcake. They are buying ten cakes from Costco. Joe gets emotional about missing his wife. Continue reading