Category Archives: Gia Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: PLEASE LET THIS BE ALL

rhonjyourmomisabitchOnce again we start with the Giudice girls. Andy asks Tre which of her girls she thinks is most like her. Kathy says Milania. Teresa says that Kathy remembers her being like Milania as a kid but she doesn’t remember her childhood. Teresa’s parents also say that Milania acts just like Tre when she was a kid.  Andy asks what the funniest thing she has done lately is.  Teresa says she has been twerking a lot. Teresa has not had the sex talk with Gia because she has not started her period yet.  Jac says something about giving her a hand mirror so she can see what she is working with and Andy gets rattled and moves on. Are you concerned with Gia growning up to fast? Makeup, etc. Teresa basically says she caved.  They show a cute Christmas scene with Tre, Juicy and all the girls decorating for Christmas. Continue reading

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Filed under Albie Manzo, Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Real Housewives of New Jersey Unseen Footage: No Mother Of The Year Awards Were Given

Gif Credit: T. Kyle RealityTVGifs Who the hell would take these four girls to raise?

Gif Credit: T. Kyle RealityTVGifs
Who the hell would take these four girls to raise?

Well hell, I wasn’t expecting to have to do this again tonight. Imagine my dismay as I am watching Dancing With The Stars wondering who all these “stars” are (the only two I recognized were Amber Riley and Snooki) when suddenly my TV flips the channel to RHONJ!

At least they are starting with some unseen footage of Milania. This might be worth watching if it were all Milania. Milania is hitting the other kids at school and Teresa misses the point. This is terrible parenting. Why am I not surprised?

Speaking of horrific parenting, Joe and Melissa are talking about sex in front of Antonia. Meanwhile Joey can’t add 30+30+11. Melissa says Joe doesn’t know the tens place from the ones place. Melissa had to redo Joe’s homework. Perhaps they should have let Antonia do it. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Finale Recap

Gifs by RealityTVGifs

Gifs by RealityTVGifs

Here we go with the final attempt of this season to blog a show full of frankenbites and misdirection.  So far not a single word out of Penny’s mouth that says anything about Teresa and Melissa has been shown. For all we know they could be arguing about who is wearing the most expensive pair of shoes. Teresa the word is texts not texas. Meanwhile is that guy who walked in with Johnny the Greek the creepy guy that hung around Danielle Staub?

They didn’t even show the fight. Teresa was hysterical hiding behind Juicy. Then in the middle of it all, Teresa screams out a commercial for Milania Haircare products, “If they want to buy Milania Haircare products? Tell them to fuck themselves!”  LMAO. Only Teresa would think to do that. Interestingly, there were huge security types behind nearly every regular cast member. It’s almost like they planned it! Nah…. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Web of Lies

 

Gif By RealityTVGifs

Gif By RealityTVGifs

Sigh. I think we are all getting tired of this. Part of the problem is their “storylines” often end up involving the police and making national news so we have heard about this stuff for months. Nonetheless, here we go again.

Is this Posche store a used clothing store? I never noticed that before. It also seems very small. Why is a tiny used clothing store having fashion shows that everyone in town comes to?

I made myself get up off my deathbed to recap a show about Melissa “singing?”  Oh hell no! ( Not really, I think I have fall allergies, not fatal) Melissa can’t sing.  End of Melissa storyline recap. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Nothing to See Here

rhonjtrejoebathI hate how football can screw up every single thing I watch! On top of it all Anthony Bourdain’s CNN show only runs ONCE? What is wrong with CNN?

Anyway, our girl Teresa is setting herself up on an even higher pedestal to fall from. I almost feel badly for her watching this. Almost. Notice Juicy drove the car to the Skinny Italian place? This scene made me want pasta so I stopped blogging and went to make some before Big Brother.

I am not even going to address the whining about Twitter with the Laurita’s and Joey. If twitter upsets you, perhaps you should step away from Twitter for five minutes. What I will say is I can’t imagine Gino living with Milania in the same dwelling. Continue reading

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Filed under Albie Manzo, Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

Will The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Be Boring?

RHONJJOEfightAfter a season of team building therapy, individual therapy sessions with Dr.V, trust falls, scream fests, a literal high wire act and even a horse whisper, this season was dreadfully uneventful. So it is no surprise that Rumorfix is running an exclusive story saying that the reunion was 15 hours of more of the same. There sources make it sound so bad that major shakeups are coming with casting for next season. Continue reading

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RHONJ: It’s All About The Horseshit

RHONJGreggy2I am so excited about the horse therapist on RHONJ this week! I blogged Big Brother first for a change because I feel like this is going to be a heavy episode.  Let’s see how it goes…

I love how Tre and Juicy already don’t want to do it. Chris did a great job because he is a great person would not ever rip off a charity  for his own personal gain. I do kind of believe that about Chris…he seems like a good guy to me, but then again I am a terrible judge of character. Aw, I feel like Rosie myself sometimes.  I’m not gay (ahem unless chatting with some of you privately :)  after a few beers…) but it is weird not being married when the whole rest of the world is.  I get the whole going through life alone thing all too well.

Was it the THERAPIST who said Melissa was doing a whore on the stroll walk? Was that frankenbite? The therapist talks to her about the difference between being nice and being manipulative.  Melissa, Joe and Tre could not lift the horse’s leg. Interesting. I am falling for this shit, hook, line and sinker. Shutup!  Continue reading

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Cops Called to Giudice Beach Party!

Photo: TMZ

Photo: TMZ

It appears that life is a beach for Joe and Tre Giudice and family. According TMZ , the whole fambly was at Ship Bottom Beach on Long Beach Island in Joisy when they decided to go all Oklahoma on the ass of some teenaged girl who was working at the beach. It is a public beach with a five dollar beach fee for entry.  Presumably, it was Joe and/or his midget twin brother who refused pay the entry fee for his fambly. Instead, someone *cough* Joe*cough* opted to cause huge scene by screaming at a young girl in front of his children until the young employee started to cry. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Spangly Chuckalinas and Other Spiritual Quests

Who doesn't love a good bagel on the head picture?

Who doesn’t love a good bagel on the head picture?

I can’t believe the one and only trip for the RHONJ (except the “trip” upstate) is Miraval, a sponsored trip. Bravo is getting to the point where they won’t pay for anything anymore. Especially the Top Chef shows which basically hold a bidding war for towns to PAY for them to come there. New Orleans, who is still struggling to recover come Katrina was milked to death by Bravo instead of Bravo donating to the city as they should have. So anyway, off we go to Mirabel…

But first, Tre is doing a live cooking demonstration? I am shocked. Essentially, she wilted some kale and put it on bread with some cheese on top. But still, that’s pretty good for Tre. Kathy shows up so that Tre can give a recap of the  Milania Haircare party. Meanwhile I wish I lived near one of those Chef Stores.

Teresa is packing a bunch of spangly bathing suits. Gia tries to take away a tiny black thong and teeny bra top covered in sequins. Milania asks Tre why she wants a bunch of sparkles in her “chuckalina.”  Teresa and Dina named their privates chuckalina (or chucky for short) when they were younger.   Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap

RHONJposheWhy do catastrophes always strike when a housewives show starts? (I sort fed Banjo some bleach, oops.  Sounds worse than it is, I think everything is fine).  Anyway, Tre has arrived at Melissa’s with the kids and some cupcakes. Remember the bankruptcy filing said something about her trying to start a cupcake business? This is the second time she has brought cupcakes to a scene. Both times they looked like they came from grocery store (in the requisite grocery store clear box).

Milania is climbing on Melissa’s microphone boom in her fancy studio while Tre and Melissa talk. Melissa shows Tre the mock-up for her new book cover. Tre has a good point that if it is a book about her marriage Joe should probably be in the cover shot. Meanwhile, Melissa says it is highly suspicious that all of these stories about Melissa cheating on Joe are coming out right when her book is supposed to come out. She suspects Tre in her talking heads. These two have a VERY uneasy truce. Continue reading

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RHONJ RECAP: GREGGY BENNETT WAS ON!

RHONJ GREGGYIt’s Greggy Bennett night on the Real Housewives of New Jersey! I am so excited to see him! He is my favorite housewife!  But first, we are back to Jac and Tre arguing in a restaurant. Jac is trying to convince Tre that she only wanted to help her. Then she says that Tre said to her family that she thought Jac spends too much time on twitter and not enough time with her son. That is what we all think, Jac. You tweet more than I do and I am an umemployed hermit who until recently was online every waking moment. How is it possible to have a marriage, two children, a huge house to run, a child with special needs, and of course that mystery job of yours that pays millions, not to mention all the shopping and shooting for Bravo and still be on twitter more than me? It’s crazy! Yet Jac starts crying about her claiming her focus was not on her son. Please feel sorry for me! My son has autism! Oh for fucksake. Continue reading

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RHONJ RECAP: Same Shit, Different Episode

RHONJposheTonight’s RHONJ showdown with Teresa and Jac should be good. It is also going to be so interesting knowing that we know Tre might be in the big house by next season. As of now, this will be posted tomorrow morning unless it is so good and I can’t stand it and go to the McDonald’s parking lot or something to try and post. J Did Melissa just call Teresa her sister in her talking head about Sizzle Tan? Or did her actual sister do a billboard too?

Who’s gonna dress the girl’s Barbies when Tre goes to the pen? I spent a few moments thinking about raising them myself. They would have to read books and I’d take Gia off twitter. It’s time for Sunday dinner at the Giudices. The cousins are all so excited to see each other. I wonder how much they hype the kids up for these scenes. “Okay kids, when we start filming be super excited to see your cousins!”  Also, Tre has cupcakes on the table, they look store bought. But, in one of the original bankruptcy documents (not the current one with the 39 charges) there was mention that Tre was trying to start a cupcake business. Now I am going to catch all these things I would not have paid attention to before.  These little things will keep me interested as we go over the sins of Jac for billionth time. Can someone explain extensions to me? Melissa (and oddly also Elissa from BB15) always seem to be raking through their extensions with their fingers. Melissa does it at the dinner table!  What is with that?  Sunday dinner ended without any actual crucifixions. Continue reading

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Filed under Albie Manzo, Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice