Category Archives: RHONJ

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Fambily Business

RHONJ Amber open mouth

 

Well this has certainly been a long dramatic week. So much turmoil in the world, in the US, and on the Internet. Let’s hope that this episode of RHONJ will be a little big less emotional. Can I just throw this out there about Amber’s hair before we get started? If she had chemo and lost all of her hair five years ago, there is no way that is her actual hair. Yet, for some reason she keeps insisting that it is. Wouldn’t it play into her cancer victim routine much better to just admit she has five pounds of extensions on her head? Does she really think she is fooling anyone?

Joe and Melissa go to the high-end car dealership because, promotional deal.  The storyline is even stupider than usual. They want to have the garbage truck custom painted. The garbage truck. It’s not pretty enough. The garbage truck. Seriously? Just when I am already pissed off by Melissa’s ridiculous environmental speech the high-end dealership that customizes GARBAGE TRUCKS points out that Melissa drives a Bentley which is hardly good for the environment and gets eight miles a gallon.  Did I mention the storyline is the Bentley dealer is going to paint their GARBAGE truck, because I can’t seem to stress the stupidity of this enough.  In fact we may have actually reached the nadir of stupidity. This scene may go down in history of the very moment the Real Housewives franchise jumped the shark forever. Right here. In this moment. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Why Can’t Anyone See That Amber Is Clearly The Victim ?

RHONJ Amber

Amber’s RHONJ blog is up and she has shifted her attitude from anger to victim. She’s turning into the RHONJ version of Tamra Barney. That’s quite the feat this early in her first (and probably last) season. Her blog was super long and repetitive. She and Jim both attempt to use words they really don’t understand in ways that are almost but just not quite correct. Anyway, here is some much needed laughs given the depressing nature of all the news I have been reporting on…

Amber still blames Nicole for the chain of events and implies that she really is a homewrecker:

Nicole says she wanted an apology. Hmm, well, I would have loved a chance to apologize, however she acted like a lunatic right off the bat. Nicole wanted a scene, not an apology. She made sure everyone was there, which kind of makes you think she planned it all along. We are all human, we all make mistakes, but we cannot go around attacking every person that speaks about our mistakes. I could have told her who was telling me the rumor and we could have dealt with it together. The fact that Nicole escalated the situation like that is just disgusting to me. She could have talked to me. I would have heard her side of it, and she would have gotten an apology out of me for not coming to her first. Maybe she reacted that way because she had no intention of just dispelling a rumor. Maybe there is more to it, and the reaction was a distraction from the truth…apparently, it is working. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

RHONJ Blog Round-up: Does Amber Deserve a Second Chance?

Why Did I Not Post About Last Night's RHONJ? Let Me Count the Reasons...

All of the RHONJ blogs are up except for Amber’s and Nicole’s and theirs will probably warrant their own blog. Most everyone agrees that Jim is an idiot but a few of the RHONJ are trying to give Amber the benefit of the doubt. For me the strangest blog is Dina’s. I’m going to need lots of feedback that. In fact I may need an entire interpretation. I can’t be sure about who she is talking about.

From Teresa’s Blog:

I did feel sorry for Amber because she was just in a physical fight and what her husband was saying wasn’t her fault. But I wanted to hear the rumors about what Jim said directly from him. So I asked him. And he lied. Right to my face. That is not what an honorable man does. Dina and I were giving him the benefit of a doubt, trying to be nice to him, and he got even madder and uglier with us. You don’t need to speak to women like that, you don’t need to speak to anyone like that.

Then we got to hear Jim’s little lawyer speech. There are no words. What professional talks like that? I know Amber tries to defend him saying he was protecting her and got dragged into all this, but that amazingness was all said in an interview with him, apart from the fight. No one tricked or forced him into saying those awful things. That was all him.

As I said though, I don’t blame Amber for her husband. Amber has always been very nice and gracious to me. I try and see people for who they are, not who they’re married to. Although her taste in facials does leave a lot to be desired! Bird poop, are you freaking kidding me? 

Continue reading

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Filed under Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Amber Marchese on WWHL: To Know Jim Is to Love Jim

WWHL Amber

Well, this WWHL should be good. Jim is the drinking word!  Right away David Arquette says the best part of the night was the whale vagina comment. Then Andy tries to get him to repeat the comment and they get it wrong. Because half the people who use the term douchebag don’t even know the literal meaning. Dina’s usage was so phenomenal I might even start to like her a little bit, ” Jim’s level of douchebaggery is so large it could clean a whale’s vagina.” Please don’t tell Caroline I am softening up  a bit on Dina for that.

Amber jumps in to say that Dina doesn’t know him well enough to make that comment. Amber says to know Jim is to love Jim. Newsflash Amber: Your husband’s reputation for douchebaggery preceded the show. A quick Google search draws unprecedented numbers of responses. A trillion lawsuits including an intriguing one where someone was suspected to have been murdered before a shady business meeting that Jim was supposed to be at, allegedly. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

RHONJ Recap: Chicken Shits and Nightingale Droppings

I have bird shit on my stupid face.

I have bird shit on my stupid face.

 

We’ll we are back to the shit stirring house husbands of New Jersey. Jim has announced that he has passed the bar (hmm I wonder what state that was in, I can’t seem to find any record of it) but that the is not an attorney.  Then in the next breath he is screaming in Joe Gorga’s ear that he “prosecutes bank fraud cases” and “works for the same Attorney General’s office that is prosecuting Juicy Joe.”  Um, hey there Mr. I Passed the Bar.  Federal fraud cases are prosecuted by an AUSA .  Sidenote: Jim’s second twitter account in as many days was suspended again just minutes ago. What the hell is he doing to get suspended?  Is threatening to sue the entire Internet a banable offense on Twitter?  Pity if true because it was really funny. He was also suing Bobby for breach of contract for some nonsense that seemed to be Bravo related. He is also ranting against Bravo who I am assuming is who really is having his accounts suspended. This guy is a joke.

Currently, he has Joe Gorga up in his face outside of Bobby’s house. Let’s watch how this turns out for him. He’s already threatening to call the cops. I’m sure he will be threatening to sue him any second. Oh and on his first twitter account, Good Ole Christian Jim said suing people was like sport fucking to him.  Do they not run psych tests on any of these people? Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Gia Giudice, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Jacqueline Laurita is NOT Coming Back to RHONJ

Gif Credit: RealityTVgifs

Gif Credit: RealityTVgifs

I don’t know where TMZ got their information, but Jacqueline Laurita is not returning to RHONJ. The only thing Jacqueline  could “supercharge”‘ is perhaps a vibrator. Filming for this season has wrapped. Decisions for next season have not been finalized. The whole story is crap. I don’t know what else to say about it.

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Filed under Jacqueline Laurita, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Amber is Very Angry With Melissa and The Twins

RHONJ Amber

UPDATE2: Jim has his own account now. He is sharing about himself. His hobbies appear to be suing people, and sport fucking.  Probably in that order. I don’t see him as particularly skillful in either activity. HER IS THE LINK TO HIS TWITTER PAGE.

UPDATE: Jim has taken time out from suing people and his um, businesses to tweet on Amber’s twitter today.  Jim says, ” This is Jim, when we signed on Joe had not been indicted for mortgage fraud,I didnt want it, supported my wife.” Um untrue. The Giudices were indicted in the summer of 2013 while last season was still filming. Contracts and pickup letters do not go out until after the reunion. Everyone in the free world, let alone NJ knew about the indictments well before this season began taping. Click the link to see more of his tweets and talk to me about them in comments.

 

Amber’s blog is up. It is three pages long. The first page is her discussing how mad she is at Melissa and the twins. Apparently, watching it all play out on TV only served to make her more angry. She’s very angry. The third page reminded us once again that she is really angry. Oddly, Amber and at least one of the twins thanks there supporters and mentions a (obviously different) twitter person. It seems kind of odd that their support system is twitter followers who didn’t know them from Adam two months ago. Did I mention that Amber is very angry?

Amber’s Blog: Bolding is mine.

So let’s cut this down to size, the twins thought it was better to ambush me at a party in front of people instead of calling me to sit down with me prior to ask me what I heard. They let it fester for a week and thought confronting me at a party was the way go. Ugh… I just can’t stand the stupidity! Nicole claims we were “such close friends,” yet this is how she handles it. Honestly, it’s like watching dumb and dumber. Furthermore, I calmly asked twice what the deal was and neither one of them could articulate an answer, they instead just kept on barking like little Chihuahuas. I had absolutely no clue what the deal was. Even Melissa was asking them why they were taking it to such negative place right off the bat, in addition to saying that I was calling her a ho! 

The little evil minions thought they were going to bully me in front of everyone. Well, I will not be bullied, I will always stand my ground, and as Jack says: ”You f—ed with wrong Marine!” They escalated the situation and I defended myself. But violence is not the answer, EVER. Nicole may have been upset, but she could have handled that with dignity and class. I will remind everyone that she’s over 45 years old and a mother! Simple math — that is less than only 5 years from 50! She should know better and be a better example to her children. 

I understand it looked ridiculous, but I am saying to everyone out there, don’t laugh at bullying. If you see someone getting bullied, it is never cool and there is nothing funny about it. Do something about it. Either go get help or stick up for whom is being attacked. I do thank Melissa for sticking up for me at the time, it makes me wonder if she truly she did not know how depraved the minions behave. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

Beaver Update!

beaver-dams

It seems like every week there is someone from the Real Housewives of New Jersey in court. This week, it was Joe and Melissa back again trying to evict Kai Patterson from their Montville home. purchase agreement. In accordance with a previous ruling, it  was expected that Patterson would finally be forced to leave the home where he currently lives with his (step?) father; however, the judge declined to evict him.

Superior Court Judge Stephen Taylor vacated the  previous ruling that found Patterson in default on the lease because the motion was not heard in open court as New Jersey law requires when an option to buy a leased property is involved. Because Gorga tried to file the eviction pro se, he was unaware of the applicable law. That makes sense except for the fact that a judge, if not this judge ruled to evict and one would think the judge would be versed in the law. Apparently, the option to buy makes the applicable laws those concerning the sale of property rather than those governing  rental property laws. Continue reading

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Filed under RHONJ, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Joe Gorga

Real Housewives of New Jersey Blog Roundup: It’s All About Amber and Jim.

RHONJ Amber and Melissa

I started this blog by reading Dina’s blog. It’s literally a philosophical discussion on “intention.” It reads as an advice column or perhaps a morning meditation. It’s weird and irrelevant. Everyone’s blog is about Amber and/or Jim. Before I even read the rest of them, I should point out that Amber had some sort of meltdown on Twitter, or perhaps it was Jim because at on point Amber actually claimed that Jim took over tweeting on her account. There was an altercation with Bobby where whoever was using the account said,” u r a sick bastard Bobby. ur day will come.” and “keep trying to be famous Bobby. we d/n want to upset daddy.” and other jewels. Don’t you love when media whores, point fingers at other media whores claiming the want camera time? That is exactly what they all want and why they are on the show.  Amber keeps referring us to her blog on twitter, but so far Bravo hasn’t posted it. I get the feeling it will need its own post anyway. So when it’s up, I’ll get on it as soon as I have time.

Melissa’s Blog:

As you saw in the episode, the Marcheses continue to contradict themselves. They seem to REALLY want to be liked by the Giudices and at the same time find ways to let us all know that they are too good for them. I’m confused, which is it? I also think Jim talks a big game and wants to portray a certain type of image that I would hope isn’t who he truly is, because no one can be that judgmental.

What I do know it that it’s not cool for a grown man to walk up to another man and call him a dumb ass in his ear in a very nasty way. Joe was sitting down and not in Jim’s face at all. Jim went too far. Joe just was defending his family, and for Jim to get in his face like that? I mean come on! He’s asking for a reaction, begging for it.

Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Watch What Happens Live With Melissa and Joe Gorga

WWHL with Melissa and Joe GorgaOn tonight’s WWHL, we have a rare event with a husband in a guest chair! It seems to be a trend on RHONJ this season for the husbands to get a lot of air time. I sort of like it.

Andy asked Melissa who was at fault regarding the brawl. It was a 30 seconds on the clock sort of thing and Melissa didn’t want to do it. She said that Amber came in very strong , but Nicole was the first to pull hair and Melissa doesn’t think anyone should put their hands on anyone. Andy seemed pissed by her milquetoast  response.

OMG they just showed a talking head of Jim from next week where he says he is trained as an attorney, if you mess with him he is going to sue you, he is going to leverage your house, he is going to drag you through three years of litigation, he is going to bleed you dry, he is going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch. All of this in a tie, sweater vest and spectacles. It was one of the most hysterical things I have ever seen.

Melissa says she chose not to give the RHONJ any music this season. Andy seemed taken aback. Melissa says sometimes you show when I hit he note and sometimes he doesn’t. Also she has been working on her jewelry line. And also there are currently a bunch of beavers using her recoding studio as their personal nesting space. Allegedly. Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Hairy Situation

RHONJ S6 CastApparently, Melissa drives a Bentley. What is it with these housewives. Even Joe just said they are having money problems. Perhaps it is because they are buying tons of shit they can’t afford? Americans are so stupid with money.  I just can’t. More than likely they are getting a super cheap lease deal from this dealership where they are currently filming. Teresa tells Joe the Jim doesn’t want to be around the Joes because he thinks they fight. Also, the whole not wanting to hang out with felons issue. I am not a fan of Jim’s by a long shot, but if I had a business in that town, I would not be socializing with the Giudices either.  If you care, the fake bill for the new bumper for the Bentley was $7,000.

Dina wants to clean out her closet. She has a massive closet with a shoe hall with 400 pairs of shoes. It looks like Tommy is going to keep the house, or they are going to sell it because she is trying to pack out.

Teresa, Melissa, Nicole, and TeRESSA are shopping for costumes for the first responders party. The girls talk about Amber gossiping about Nicole to Melissa. Teresa is hurt that Jim is judging her. Um, Tre, the judge judged you and you confessed to be a felon. Felons are no respected members of society.  Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano

Real Housewives of New Jersey Blog Round-up

Teresa Gives FANTASTIC Bagel Head!

Teresa Gives FANTASTIC Bagel Head!

I just posted Amber Marchese’s blog in a separate post because she had A TON to say this week. Here are the highlights, and low lights from the other New Jersey fishwives Housewives.

From Dina’s Blog:

Well the shit’s about to hit the fan with Amber and the twins, and when I say hit the fan, I mean really HIT THE FAN. Next week is sure to be a juicy episode, and speaking of juicy, did you see the hottie that asks me out on the preview? Yes, if you’re not into drama, tune in for some major eye candy at least!

Teresa’s Blog:

I hope you are enjoying the summer! We were at the beach this weekend. I love hanging out with my family in the warm sunshine more than anything. I can barely watch all the snow from last winter on these episodes. I never want it to get cold again.

Yep, basically what I am saying is that Dina and Teresa had absolutely nothing to say this week. But the rest of the girls do… Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Natalie Napolitano, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice, Teresa Napolitano