Category Archives: RHONJ

Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Shit We Didn’t See Part Three Thousand

classy teresa RHONJ

Dear RHONJ,

Please lay down. You are dead. It’s over. Fine! Arrivederci!

Love Tamara Tattles.

Fine. I will pay attention to you ONE MORE TIME. But this is out last breakup conversation. Do you hear me? No more. I’m changing my number. At least there is a psychic. I always like a psychic. Unlike you ungrateful bitches.  Oh they are astrologers! We have a surplus of those here at Tamaratattles.com  I can envision the stupid comments already. We will be hearing about rising signs and retrogrades for sure. They are ASTROTwins. Amber just says she has been a “devote Catholic” for the last five years. That’s like five lentil seasons! At least Rosie is there. When she is the exciting addition, we’re in for trouble. The astrotwins read the twins charts first. They are Virgos and people should be careful not to cross them. Amber decides to compromise her “devote” beliefs in about ten seconds.  Did you have difficulty with an Aries? She doesn’t know what anyone’s sign is. Melissa is an Aries and Amber was an Aries in a past life…so …okay I can’t with this.

Tre is up next. Taurus with Gemini rising. She is here to learn how to be a provider in this life. The astrotwins tell Tre that she is going to feel the most stress in the beginning of 2015. That is when she is going to the big house! They even say Saturn will be in her legal house. They also say something about changing Joe’s legal team. Interesting. Teresa doesn’t know what a backbone is. The astrotwins say that they will have to spend some time apart but it will make them stronger. Tre is crying. So is Melissa. They say she will have to downsize a bit in 2015.

The twins take Dina lingerie shopping. So they go to Victoria’s Secret. No, wait. No they go to a dildo shop full of crotchless panties. Because, New Jersey. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 3

RHONJ Reunion Tre

I am so ready for this to be done and hope like hell that the husbands aren’t on unless Jim is excluded. Andy Cohen did an AMA on Redditt today where he basically said Jim is an ass in person just like on Twitter. He also said no decisions have been made about the future of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That is true, they don’t make decisions until after the final episode of the reunion airs. Then the team meets and decides who stays and who goes. About a week later is “pick-up day” when the housewives are either offered a pick up on their contract for another year, or they are send a nice letter thanking them for participating in the season and wishing the well on their future endeavors. Most of the time. There was a season of RHONY or two that the ladies were left hanging for quite some time wondering if they had jobs. So who knows when decisions will be made for next season. If there is a next season.

And we’re off and sadly the men are out there again. And the focus is on Jim just like he likes it. I am so over this little shitweasel. Our little Napoleon fan wants to point out he is the tallest between him and the two Joes. Is his fucktard 12 years old? I just don’t get a grown man acting this way on television embarrassing the shit out of his wife. Jim still says that he was working on cases with Paul Fishman the AUSA. #Delusional Jim did something weird off camera and Andy had to tell him to stop because he was freaking him out. Jim tries to explain why he hangs out on Twitter saying awful things to everyone. He says people were faxing hims “at his work” lol say they hope he dies, they hope he gets cancer, they hope his wife gets cancer etc.  Jim tries to say he did it to take the trolls off of Amber. Please. Andy points out that Tre and Melissa get trolled on Twitter all the time and their husbands aren’t on Twitter all day long (because they are working, at a job). Jim asks Joe Gorga if he gets death threats at his work. Joe says no, because I’m not a douchebag. Jim is stunned because he just got finished sucking up to the Joes and that didn’t work. Too funny. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 2 (Recap): A Whale-Sized Douche

RHONJ Reunion 3

Before we get going on tonight’s recap, I need to take a quick minute to acknowledge the utter hideousness of this set. It looks like something off Dynasty circa 1984.  This is a NYC set? Also I hate all of the dresses. Every last one of them. Why are they allowing white? White on TV used to be a big no no. Maybe now that we have flat screens and high definition it isn’t an issue? I like TereSSa’s dress in theory but the boobs are a problem. Nicole’s is probably the best of the bunch but that sort of like winning the Special Olympics in this case. No offense to TeeCee’s kid’s accomplishments. It’s just a simile. I had more to say but it is already starting, so I better quit while I am behind.

We go straight in to Teresa and how she has changed as a person over the six season she has been on. Teresa looks so much younger in 2008. Teresa says she has definitely changed for the better. She doesn’t worry about petty things anymore and focuses on what is important. Cut to tight shot of Melissa trying to keep a respectable, face and not roll her eyes. You can see the effort. Andy asks if her values have changed. She says, “Everything, yes.” Cut to TereSSa turning her head and letting out a deep sigh.

Tre says she came on the show just to have fun and look where she is now. Andy asks if she blames the show. She says not the show but a lot of people who came on the show came on just to hurt them. Some were housewives and others just came to parties, but the all started a lot of trouble. I guess those trouble makers cause her to commit 41 counts of fraud. They sound like real assholes. They show a clip of Danielle season two talking about the house she lived in before they moved into the mansion. Danielle accused them then of being in foreclosure. Next it’s season 3 with Kim G. Then season 4 where Teresa tell Jac that if she was going to jail, she is sure she would know about it. Teresa laughing in a talking head about going to jail. Tre says to the others to be careful because people come on the show to try to hurt them. Continue reading

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WWHL With Caroline Manzo: AKA RHONJ Part 1.5

WWHL CarolineFirst of all, who is this chick and why is she in Caroline’s chair? I hate the new “rule” (that is very flexible) about first time visitors sitting in the first chair. And yes, I know who she is, she needs to move out of that chair.

Andy brings up Gia’s girl group and they talk about whether it is in appropriate. Michelle doesn’t want to say and Caroline says it’s right at the cusp. We’ve been talking about it here A LOT with weave pulling and trash talking amongst ourselves.  Again, the fact that the argument is about whether or not it is in appropriate means it is in appropriate. But that is so two days ago.  Ain’t nobody got time for that right now, Andrew. It’s only a thirty minute show. Let’s get to the reunion!

Andy is basically making Caroline respond to the reunion as if she was on it. Caroline’s response is “awesome thanks!” He says Tre said some weird stuff tonight. He rolls a clip of Tre saying doesn’t miss Jac and also claiming in six season she has never hit anyone below the belt. Caroline says of course she hit below the belt. We all hit below the belt. Just admit that you hit below the belt. We saw it, there is no denying what we see. Sidenote: Michelle has no idea what is going on and for the rest of the show Caroline and Andy will probably talk over her as if she is not even there which is why, if she has to be there at all, she should not be in the first chair. No offense to Michelle but it’s not a good night for her to get any attention. This was a booking blunder. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part One

RHONJ ReunionAndy goes straight to Teresa Giudice and asks if she is doing any better and getting any sleep. She says no, she says that yesterday was Gabriella’s birthday so they had a party at a sports place and it was so sad because Milania said she wants to have her next party there and her birthday is in February and she doesn’t know if she is going to be there. Okay, dumbass, her you are on TV again talking about big birthday parties now that sentencing is over. I don’t care if the whole thing cost $100.  YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO HAVE PARTIES.  The Feds really need to go in and find the stacks of cash those two are hiding. Dayum.

Andy surveys the other ladies on their feelings. Dina chokes up and says it is surreal to her. There are murderers on the streets and she’s such a good girl. My god these people are in denial. She is a good girl who was charged with FORTY ONE FEDERAL OFFENSES FOR FRAUD. She’s a good girl who continues to this day to lie to the court!  Why is it that people think that “well I didn’t kill anybody” means they are not doing anything wrong.

Andy asks if Melissa has seen her since her sentencing. FYI this show was filmed four days after the sentencing. Nope. That means that she didn’t go to Gabriella’s birthday. Tre and Melissa are sitting right next to each other but seem very distant. Teresa doesn’t turn her head to look at her when she talks.

Dina says what she loves about Tre is that yesterday was Gabriella’s birthday and Teresa was right there with here. Teresa says the little ones don’t know anything. Teresa is clueless. Of course they do. They just didn’t get the courtesy of hearing it from their parents.

Dina says she didn’t want to do another reality show with family. She says maybe if it was a cooking show. Andy asks if she would do a cooking show with Caroline and she said, “Yes, I love my sister.” They talked about her previous season. Dina says she still has not filed for divorce. They are still friends with benefits. A viewer says it is slutty for her to date while she is married. She says they are separated. They are not separated if they live together at least not under the law.  Tre sticks of for her and says slutty is when you have sex. She hasn’t had sex with them (the other guys.)  Because Tre has enough time in her life to keep up with that and Dina’s vagina.

The question was asked about Dina’s funerals in her head. Did she have one for Caroline and Jac? Dina pauses. She says she usually doesn’t have funerals for family, but there might have been a wake. Then she laughs sort of maniacally. Dina says basically without naming names that it is healthier to love from a distance because Jacqueline is in both of their lives. She refers to Jac as toxic. I get it. I have a sibling with people who are toxic to me around as well. It’s just healthier to avoid the whole situation sometimes. Tre sticks up for Dina again. Andy says it was the show that was the issue and Dina says yes. Tre says she is glad Dina finally admitted it. Tre is not sedated at all. She seems to be in a good mood. Very chatty. Continue reading

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Gia Giudice Has a New Video Out

Check out Gia’s new video, Circus (Britany Cover)with her group 3TK. Try to make it all the way til the end with a surprise guest. I’ll hold back my opinion until you guys give yours.

But I will ask you to look at the facial features of the main singer, then look at Gia.  Um, hey, girl singing in the middle, who’s yer daddy? I’m just asking. Also, it looks like this is where at least some of the money went.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Secrets Revealed

RHONJ S6 CastOMG I was bingewatching Bad Judge and time got away from me. Suddenly, I am 9 minutes late into RHONJ and it is NOT taping!  I tuned in  just in time to hear Amber telling Dina about “Alana” the hooker side  of her? WTF? I feel like I missed so much in nine minutes! Did I miss Amber giving head to a bottle? Allegedly?

On to discussing divorce. And marriage. Dina knew her husband since she was 11 and he was 18. Is it me or is that kind of creepy? But Teresa chimes in and says she has know Joe since she was born. They used to play together as kids and Joe was always in trouble and her mother warned her to stay away from him.  Oddly, today? or was it yesterday was Tre and Joe’s 15th wedding anniversary. I’m assuming the ladies are in Atlantic city. When this was being filmed some sent me some information about Teresa winning $1,000 while she was there. I was a bit skeptical because the name was spelled wrong. Maybe we will find out. Continue reading

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Teresa Giudice Appears to Be Going to FPC Danbury Afterall

WWHL Teresa hands

On Tuesday, Teresa Giudice had a new lawyer craft a letter to Judge Salas because the judge did not include recommendation for where Teresa should serve her sentence in her judgment of conviction (JOC).  In that letter the new attorney suggested that if the judge did not amend her JOC then Teresa would be serving her time in scary place like MDC Brooklyn or MCC Manhattan! The attorney also made, what I told you at the time was a ridiculous request for Teresa to do as much time as possible in a halfway house.

Well, today the Judge basically told everyone to calm the fuck down. Teresa will be going to FPC Danbury which is the cushiest, nicest choice available. And, as everyone loves to point out is where Piper Kerman, author of Orange is the New Black served her time. Here is what really happened. Continue reading

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Dina Manzo Says She Will Not Return to Real Housewives of New Jersey

RHONJ

It’s time for Bravo to send out pick up letters to the RHONJ (or thank them for their participation and bid them adieu) and when it comes to Dina Manzo, she says she has no intention of accepting a new contract. Dina posted last night on twitter she has no desire to return to the show because her soul cannot be around all the horrible people. Specifically, when asked if she had any desire to return for another season she replied, @bitchpuuuhlease NONE my soul can’t be around horrible people. — Dina Manzo (@dinamanzo) October 20, 2014

But that’s not all. It seems that Dina is being attacked much like idiots attacked Kenya Moore for her charitable donation to her Detroit Alma Mater, Cass Tech.  The main trash talker against Dina’s Project Lady Bug event is Jim Marchese. Jim posted several libelous comments that have since been taken down since Dina mentioned her attorney would be dealing with Jim. Continue reading

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Teresa Giudice Is Facing Hard Time, Camp Cupcake Not Currently on the Table!

Bravo

Bravo

As I am sure you have noticed, I’ve become somewhat of a night owl who stays up all night (secretly watching TV shows I don’t talk about here) and sleeping in late. I try to wake up for Wendy Williams at 10 a.m. which would seem a normal time to get up, but I rarely make it. I do tape her, and try to wake up as it plays. This morning Wendy had Teresa Giudice in her hot topics. The tea according to Wendy is that her PR person, Wendy Feldman has dropped her as a client. Interesting but doubtful. Wendy Feldman is a former felon of the same ilk as Teresa who has decided on her release from the pen to make walking other women through the process her job. In doing so, Ms. Feldman sure likes to get her name out there and into all of the tabloids. She seems way more interested in getting her own name out there than cleaning up Teresa’s mess.

If you watched Teresa and Joe on WWHL, it was clear that Teresa in particular was blaming her lawyer for not getting her probation. It should be clearly stated that both Teresa and Joe had fantastic, high profile lawyers who handled their cases quite well. Teresa and Joe on the other hand often ignored the lawyers advice (which included getting off of RHONJ ASAP and lay low.)

Well, “the story” today is that Teresa sent a letter to the judge without consulting Feldman. That’s not what actually  happened. As it turns out, Teresa hired an actual lawyer to help facilitate her assignment of a facility for her prison term. Because of her non-violent first offender status, it was presumed that Tre would go to a minimum security federal site referred to as “camps.” Also, because the judge took the minor children into consideration by staggering the sentence it was assumed that she would recommend either FPC Danbury, CT or  FPC Alderson, WV. Both of these camps are considered the two easiest places for women to serve out their time. Alderson in particular is nicknamed Camp Cupcake due to all the perks the inmates receive.  Danbury is also considered a top choice for its particular amenities. Danbury is where Piper from Orange is the New Black served her time. Martha went to Camp Cupcake.  During court, the judge mentioned both of these as possible placements for Teresa from the bench. However, Teresa’s defense team did not make a specific request for these two options in court. However, when it came time for the judge to put things in writing, things seemed to change. Perhaps the judge was peeved about the continued lying in her court. But for whatever reason, she did not put reference to Danbury or Alderson in her judgment of conviction sent  to the Bureau of Prisons. The wording of the document makes it likely that Teresa will serve her time in MDC Brooklyn or MCC Manhattan. Continue reading

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WWHL With Tamar Braxton and the RHONJ Twins Teresa and Nicole

WWHL Tamar and Twins

I feel like I am being forced to watch this stupid show. Andy tries to break the mood with a montage of Milania and Gia modeling. Andy is borderline disturbing with his obsession with those girls.

Andy plays a montage about Teressa being a bitch about Teresa’s sentencing and Rino is in the audience screaming and clapping that he loves that Teressa was a bitch. Andy says twitter is blowing up about it. Teressa said she apologized to Teresa and they are in a good place now. Andy says she saw that clip for the first time on the reunion. Andy says the twins were crazy for pushing Teresa’s buttons by calling her stupid. That is the Gorga switch for violence. Rino continues to shout out answers and Andy is already pissed with Rino because he won’t stop screaming out thing in the audience.

Andy has the certified results of the lie detector test Victoria Gotti took to prove she was telling the truth. She passed it. Teresa says. “I’m a housewife, she’s a has been.”  Nicole says Victoria lied about having cancer. She will say anything for attention and then she says, “Bye Felicia, beeeep!” apparently trying and failing to channel Nene.

Tamar is pretending to be appalled by the twins and asked Andy where he found them. Really, Tamar? You are way worse than those two. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Judgment Day

Twitter: John Bathke

Twitter: John Bathke

And just like that, RHONJ comes to an abrupt stop after only 12 episodes. This of course means that everyone gets about half the check for a normal season. What remains to be seen is whether or not Teresa and Joe will film a few more post sentencing episodes to scrap together a few more bucks. I suppose time will tell.

We start the show at the courthouse. I really think that is cool looking court house. Love the blind justice statue. Paul Fishman announces that Joe Giudice received 41 months and Teresa got 15.

Then we flash back to six months earlier. Teresa and Melissa are hanging out at her house with all the kids. The kids are bouncing off the walls. Teresa is stressed.

Meanwhile, Dina and the twins are at “Abbey’s House” where the Project Ladybug event will be taking place. It’s ginormous. Is that an actual residence or an event hall? There are giant dogs there that make it seem like maybe Abbey lives there. Oh, it is her home and Dina is worried about the hoodlums coming. Victoria is NOT invited. Teressa is still expecting an apology from Teresa. She makes snide comments about the Giudice family falling apart.

You know what would be great? Another segment about Amber’s cancer. I can’t wait or recap this shit. Continue reading

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