Category Archives: Marysol Patton

Ana Quincoces Spills the Real Housewives of Miami Tea

Gif Credit: RealityTVGifs No reason for this gif other than I just like it.. :)

Gif Credit: RealityTVGifs
No reason for this gif other than I just like it.. :)

Ana Quincoces is finally speaking out about her experiences on Real Housewives of Miami. And boy does she have a lot to say. The burning question I’ve had for over a year is, “What was in THE FOLDER?” Does she tell us? Well kind of.

Ana address the reunion from last season thusly:

What you saw at the reunion was nothing more than my reaction to some facts, some rumors, and a whole lot of strategically planted information. Add to that my insatiable quest for truth and justice- and the result is… well, explosive. Needless to say, a reunion couch is no courtroom, Andy is no judge, and perhaps most importantly, trials are never ever edited. Regrets? None. Lesson learned? Absolutely.

Lea went through a lot of trouble this season to debunk the statements I made at last season’s reunion. Her attempts to address my “allegations” head on did more to solidify my position than to disprove it. And let me tell you what my point was once and for all: Continue reading

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Filed under Ana Quincoces, Bravo, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 Recap

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We are back where we left off on Tuesday with Lisa pissed off and hiking up her fake boobies to prepare for round two with Joanna. Lisa is mad that Joanna’s make-up artist called her all kinds of names, including whore.  Joanna seems to be implying that the reason Lisa can’t get pregnant is because she “parties too much.” So I was thinking drinking. But Lisa herself seems to defending herself against something more serious, yet unspoken. Interesting.

Lisa and Joanna apparently spoke on the phone the night before the reunion and promised each other not to hit below the belt. In other words, don’t go there. Alexia points out how ridiculous it is to call each other and get your stories straight before the reunion. Then Lisa pops out with, “What happened to that necklace that Romain bought you last season?” Joanna says she traded it in for a smaller diamond. (huh? who does that?) Lisa says it’s B.S. that it was a loaner for the show. Lisa has taken issue in the past with all of Lea’s loaners saying that Lenny has actually bought all of hers.

Lisa says she has heard that Joanna is a hooker. Andy says from who? I respond to Andy, “Um, the entire Internet? Including places that rate such services.” Joanna says she would love to meet whoever said that and Lisa says, “Oh you have met her, you are friends with her!” BOOM!  Adrianna pipes up to say that she had received a call from a Polish reporter… Joanna interjects, “Marta! Yes I know I am suing her right now!”….Adrianna continues that you (Joanna)  had been on several websites (I assume she is referring to porn sites) and that Joanna is an escort and a fraud in every way. The reporter says that Joanna’s home in L.A. is not owned by her but by a corporation. These houses and their homes owned by corporations. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap

RHOM3.2

And here we go…. on to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part One Recap… Sofa King many posts today.  Lea has a shit ton of  borrowed diamonds on. Good for her for being able to borrow, go girl!  Andy goes gently with the RHOM. I can already tell he does not care. Way too much fashion talk. So many softball questions. What is it like living in a tourist destination. Lisa says nobody works. Lea is trying to back her up. Even softballs make the girls fight for attention.

More softball wedding stuff.  The hot Brazilian guy broke his arm at Joanna’s wedding. Joanna apparently has been trashing Adrianna’s wedding because she was SO LATE.  Andy says that looking back,  making your guests change twice and being incredibly late was disrespectful?  Everyone seems to agree and Adrianna (whose name Andy refuses to say correctly) is pissed. So Andy asked what Adrianna thought about Joanna’s dress. She said it reminded her of a Flamenco dress. YES! I did not think of that before!  Andy has now pitted bride against bride and it is working. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Two-Part Reunion Starts Tonight

RHOMMAMAHityouwithpocketbookBravo’s PR release for the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion today gives us the inside scoop on what to expect on the two-part reunion.  Here’s the tea…

NEW YORK – November 11, 2013 – Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of Miami”
reunites the ladies of season three to set the record straight on some of the
most talked about antics of the season . In part one, airing Monday, November 11
at 10pm ET/PT, Joanna’s and Lisa’s perfect friendship turns sour when Joanna
goes below the belt by blaming Lisa’s fertility issue on her partying lifestyle.
Alexia struggles to see both sides of the couch, but doesn’t hold anything back
when Lisa questions Alexia’s motives. While Adriana defends herself again and
again on her secret marriage, Lea continues to break Adriana’s olive branch. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami: Going to Hell in A Handbag

Credit: Purveyors of Pop Twitter

Credit: Purveyors of Pop Twitter

I watched RHOM last night but didn’t take any notes or start a blog. I know some of you are asking where to talk about it so I will put up a brief recap here.  Basically what happened was Lea Black threw a party at her newly renovated mansion. Say what you will about Lea, but she is one of the few housewives that is actually wealthy. Actually most all of the RHOM except for Joanna and Adrianna are wealthy. Yet another reason I wish more people were watching this show.  I digress.

Lea is expanding her empire into a “movement” or something. So she has not one but two events to hawk her wares. The first was at some sort of storefront. Media was there to interview Lea about her new handbags. It was a big deal. It was as the housewives like to say, “Lea’s Special Day” which of course means someone will sabotage it. This season, that means Lisa will do something stupid.  First she drags Lea away from her guests to implore her to drop her wall and make up with Adriana.  WTF? Lea is WORKING. It’s not the time, or the place, or any of Lisa’s concern. Just like when she interfered with Marysol’s confrontation with Lea. Lea manages to wiggle free and goes back to work. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: It’s All About Lea!

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This episode is going to be all about Lea. Oh joy. Perhaps I should have watched The Blacklist  first.  Even worse the next scene is Joanna and Romain.  Romain’s mother makes a excuse to avoid the wedding. So does his father and brother.  Awesome. Later Bravo Romain sets up a series of surprises for Joanna: an  outdoor picnic where he tears up the prenup, and a day sail on a boat where he gives her a puppy.

Adrianna’s son is going to his first formal and she wants to chaperone. Bravo paid for a Rolls to Alex is going with a guy. They are very young. It’s probably just how they do in whatever grade he is in. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: It’s Nice Day For A White Wedding

RHOMadrianamargkidHere we go again watching  Real Housewives of Miami ! It’s my favorite franchise lately! It’s time for Adriana’s Wedding. This should be great. She’s a Bridezilla!

Alexia is at the beach looking stunning as usual. Sadly, she is there to talk to Lea. UGH. Really Alexia? Alexia is also wearing the wrong sunglasses. She should be wearing the white pair with the white outfit. It’s sad that I know so much about her sunglasses.  Oh Joanna and Lisa are there too! Alexia is fraternizing with the enemy camp! Stupid Lisa is the carrier pigeon this season. I love Alexia. She asks Lisa how she got involved.  Alexia is prettier when she doesn’t “dress up.”  Lea is vile either way.

Lea and Joanna get together at Lea’s house to have girl time since neither was invited. Lea’s top floor of her house is almost all closet! It’s huge.

Adriana’s wedding location is stunning. Her sister and her niece are there to represent her family. Marysol is hysterical. Both she and Alexia have decided to be bagel heads at the wedding,  Only Alexia’s stylist is not so stern with her bun. And neither is on the top of their heads like a bagel hat. Marysol says her bagel is so big it looks like an engorged testicle!  Who doesn’t love a good bagel head joke? Continue reading

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Real Housewives Of Miami Recap: Lisa Gets Drunk on a Birken And Loses Her Mind.

RHOM the-real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-kids-peter-and-frankie-14

Oh lord. RHOM starts with Joanna and Romain’s sex issues. OMG. I don’t like Joanna’s personality. But there is no denying she is young and pretty on the outside (great site btw, prettyontheoutside.com) and apparently quite sexual.  Perhaps the blowjobs could be the problem? Perhaps Romain can’t get it up? I dunno. But the two chicks talk over sushi (just sayin’) and Joanna asks Lisa to be a bridesmaid. And even Joanna can pronounce it correctly. I’m looking at you Nene for being less educated than Joanna.

It’s Alexia’s birthday and she is fabulous. She has yet to offer to send me some of her cast off sunglasses, but that doesn’t keep me from secretly hoping. I wonder if she ever has a garage sale? I would fly down just to try to score sunglasses. $99 RT on American. Not that I looked. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Mama Mia!

Original artwork By David Gilmore PrettyontheOutside.com

Original artwork By David Gilmore PrettyontheOutside.com

Tonight, MAMA ELSA comes back! Truly this is all I care about. This will probably be a short recap since (I know y’all are tired of hearing it and I am tired of saying it) I have felt like crap the last few days. Mostly just feverish and grumpy. :)  I have actually seen the first look where we spend way too much time getting the two brides together (with grooms in tow) to make up.  Joanna is not a very good fake crier. Her whole story about her mother seeing Adriana’s RT was bogus. I am sure her mother has seen worse.

I love that Lisa made Lenny do some lipo and that he is being a baby about it. I don’t understand how Lisa touching his shoulder is hurting Lenny’s lipo area. Also, if he is bleeding out as bad as Lisa claims he would need to go to the ER.  Hell, maybe he was bleeding that bad. Later they show him up and around and he looks HORRIBLE. Huge amounts of scary bruising and a big hole. Is that normal? Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Bride Wars and Birthday Wars

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Oh my! Lisa is out shopping with her mother-in-law at a Russian grocer. Seems like the in-laws are back in town. Joy of joys! Lenny is still in need of a major storyline so he is going to be the mediator between Frederic and Romain.  Romain is upset about the tweeter. Oh and for Romain calling Joanna a whore. Frederic apologies to Romain, but seriously, this has to be a frequent situation for Romain, right?

Lenny’s parents are there for a week. They did the same last year during filming. I think Lenny’s mother loves being on TV. Lenny’s mother is mad at Lisa because she does not return her calls.  Lenny stands up for Lisa to his mother. He tells her she is disrespectful to his wife, the maids don’t want to work when she visits, the drivers won’t drive her because she is rude. Continue reading

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Quotable Quotes From Tonights Real Housewives of Miami

RHOM3.2“It’s easy to take the high road when the low road is the gutter.” ~Lea

“I’m a trooper. I can always pull myself together!” ~Alexia

“Everyone loves Lauren Foster!” ~ Marysol

“What exactly is gay polo?” ~Lauren Foster Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Why Won’t These Men Fuck Their Women?

RHOM3.2Tonight on Real Housewives of Miami, I love knowing that Karent is watching every week at her parents house wishing she was still on. Is that mean?

Romain takes Joanna to see their new house. She hates it. Until she sees it is on the water. The view is awesome. Romain refuses to sleep with her.

I can’t imagine Alexia going by Al. LOL I love boys names for girls but Alexia is such a Cuban Barbie.  They are meeting with a tarot card reader. I love this show. I also sort of believe in this. Shut up. The card reader says  Mama Elsa  is going to be fine but that some old woman around fifty has done black magic on her. LEA BLACK IS A BLACK WITCH!

Lea’s house design continues. Lisa is there looking for designers. Lisa looks for an excuse  to recap last week. Sigh. I hate these staged, sponsored scenes.  That said, I know that Adriana used Lea. I just kind of think it is funny. Continue reading

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Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM