Category Archives: Filming Real Housewives of Miami

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 Recap

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We are back where we left off on Tuesday with Lisa pissed off and hiking up her fake boobies to prepare for round two with Joanna. Lisa is mad that Joanna’s make-up artist called her all kinds of names, including whore.  Joanna seems to be implying that the reason Lisa can’t get pregnant is because she “parties too much.” So I was thinking drinking. But Lisa herself seems to defending herself against something more serious, yet unspoken. Interesting.

Lisa and Joanna apparently spoke on the phone the night before the reunion and promised each other not to hit below the belt. In other words, don’t go there. Alexia points out how ridiculous it is to call each other and get your stories straight before the reunion. Then Lisa pops out with, “What happened to that necklace that Romain bought you last season?” Joanna says she traded it in for a smaller diamond. (huh? who does that?) Lisa says it’s B.S. that it was a loaner for the show. Lisa has taken issue in the past with all of Lea’s loaners saying that Lenny has actually bought all of hers.

Lisa says she has heard that Joanna is a hooker. Andy says from who? I respond to Andy, “Um, the entire Internet? Including places that rate such services.” Joanna says she would love to meet whoever said that and Lisa says, “Oh you have met her, you are friends with her!” BOOM!  Adrianna pipes up to say that she had received a call from a Polish reporter… Joanna interjects, “Marta! Yes I know I am suing her right now!”….Adrianna continues that you (Joanna)  had been on several websites (I assume she is referring to porn sites) and that Joanna is an escort and a fraud in every way. The reporter says that Joanna’s home in L.A. is not owned by her but by a corporation. These houses and their homes owned by corporations. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap

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And here we go…. on to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part One Recap… Sofa King many posts today.  Lea has a shit ton of  borrowed diamonds on. Good for her for being able to borrow, go girl!  Andy goes gently with the RHOM. I can already tell he does not care. Way too much fashion talk. So many softball questions. What is it like living in a tourist destination. Lisa says nobody works. Lea is trying to back her up. Even softballs make the girls fight for attention.

More softball wedding stuff.  The hot Brazilian guy broke his arm at Joanna’s wedding. Joanna apparently has been trashing Adrianna’s wedding because she was SO LATE.  Andy says that looking back,  making your guests change twice and being incredibly late was disrespectful?  Everyone seems to agree and Adrianna (whose name Andy refuses to say correctly) is pissed. So Andy asked what Adrianna thought about Joanna’s dress. She said it reminded her of a Flamenco dress. YES! I did not think of that before!  Andy has now pitted bride against bride and it is working. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Two-Part Reunion Starts Tonight

RHOMMAMAHityouwithpocketbookBravo’s PR release for the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion today gives us the inside scoop on what to expect on the two-part reunion.  Here’s the tea…

NEW YORK – November 11, 2013 – Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of Miami”
reunites the ladies of season three to set the record straight on some of the
most talked about antics of the season . In part one, airing Monday, November 11
at 10pm ET/PT, Joanna’s and Lisa’s perfect friendship turns sour when Joanna
goes below the belt by blaming Lisa’s fertility issue on her partying lifestyle.
Alexia struggles to see both sides of the couch, but doesn’t hold anything back
when Lisa questions Alexia’s motives. While Adriana defends herself again and
again on her secret marriage, Lea continues to break Adriana’s olive branch. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Finale Recap

RHOM real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-joanna-romain-wedding-15 When last we left the Joanna Wedding saga, everyone was hungover and had overslept. They were supposed to fly to San Diego from Vegas  at 8 am. Like that was even possible?  Who gets up at 5 or 6 am in Vegas to fly home? You might as well just stumble straight to the airport without sleeping. At any rate, they are now in a rental car driving across the California desert.

At some point they must have survived and gotten back to a studio to do talking heads. But WTF with Joanna’s hair? Did no one have a hairbrush? Lisa is seriously hungover and they have to pull over so she can puke.  They flashback to waking up and they discover Lisa sprawled out on the floor behind the bar. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap

RHOM real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-joanna-romain-wedding-15It’s time for the Real Housewives of Miami to head to Vegas for bachelorette party. Which means the crazy packing scenes. As much as these women travel, how is it possible they do not know how to pack? Why doesn’t Lisa understand that her husband has to work for her to life the lifestyle he provides her?

Are they in coach? It sure looks like coach. It could be business class I suppose. Lea is talking to the entire plane on the PA. Any attention she can get. They have the biggest suite at The Palms. I like that all the Miami girls eat on camera. Sure it’s mostly crudité, but still.

Lea is making a jewelry mistake wearing a metal collar necklace to the pool in Las Vegas. It’s going to heat up and burn her neck. Lea dances with a little person who goes by the name Five Cent. It’s um….awkward. I am getting old and see the pool as a giant petri dish of  STDs. Continue reading

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HOT Miami Tea: New Show and Major RHOM Reunion Drama

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Okay, I woke up this afternoon morning to all sorts of Miami drama.  Where to begin? Well first of all, it’s not news to anyone that I am one of the half-dozen or so total viewers of Real Housewives of Miami. Their ratings suck. In fact pretty much every reality show they shoot in Miami gets lousy ratings. Big Ang’s new VH1 show, Miami Monkey has been tanking in the ratings.  I don’t understand this. It’s such a beautiful city.  The housewives in my opinion are a second only to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  But alas, no one agrees with me. But that is not stopping Bravo from trying to turn the beat around in Miami.   There is one more Bravo show coming and maybe this is one we can all agree on? Continue reading

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Real Housewives Of Miami Recap: Lisa Gets Drunk on a Birken And Loses Her Mind.

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Oh lord. RHOM starts with Joanna and Romain’s sex issues. OMG. I don’t like Joanna’s personality. But there is no denying she is young and pretty on the outside (great site btw, prettyontheoutside.com) and apparently quite sexual.  Perhaps the blowjobs could be the problem? Perhaps Romain can’t get it up? I dunno. But the two chicks talk over sushi (just sayin’) and Joanna asks Lisa to be a bridesmaid. And even Joanna can pronounce it correctly. I’m looking at you Nene for being less educated than Joanna.

It’s Alexia’s birthday and she is fabulous. She has yet to offer to send me some of her cast off sunglasses, but that doesn’t keep me from secretly hoping. I wonder if she ever has a garage sale? I would fly down just to try to score sunglasses. $99 RT on American. Not that I looked. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami: It’s A Breath of Fresh Air

RHOM real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-joanna-romain-wedding-15YAY for Miami! I wish more people watched this show it is one of my favorites! Lea, Lisa and Joanna are off to LA. They show the MIA airport and I immediately have PTSD Flashbacks. /shudder  Lea has had her engagement diamond reset on a very high prong band. Of course I pause the screen to gawk at it and make my novice appraisal. It seems to have a visible flaw on my HD TV and is definitely not colorless. I don’t mean to imply that I would not kill all the babies in a remote village for it. I’m just taking a very close look.  She is also wearing a diamond band with diamonds all the way around and while it is a hard call on TV they seem to be a full carat per stone. She also has on a tiny very delicate chain bracelet with a chain that goes down and encircles her middle finger.

Once onboard,  the ladies appear to be flying business class.Surely, I am mistaken and they are in first. I guess it is first, it’s just a huge plane. I just spent way too long trying to figure out the aircraft. Sorry, jewelry and travel get me very distracted and this franchise has tons of both. EDIT: It was a 777 and they were in the bulkhead seats of business. I know I am the only one who cares about these things. I notice everything about traveling. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Bride Wars and Birthday Wars

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Oh my! Lisa is out shopping with her mother-in-law at a Russian grocer. Seems like the in-laws are back in town. Joy of joys! Lenny is still in need of a major storyline so he is going to be the mediator between Frederic and Romain.  Romain is upset about the tweeter. Oh and for Romain calling Joanna a whore. Frederic apologies to Romain, but seriously, this has to be a frequent situation for Romain, right?

Lenny’s parents are there for a week. They did the same last year during filming. I think Lenny’s mother loves being on TV. Lenny’s mother is mad at Lisa because she does not return her calls.  Lenny stands up for Lisa to his mother. He tells her she is disrespectful to his wife, the maids don’t want to work when she visits, the drivers won’t drive her because she is rude. Continue reading

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Quotable Quotes From Tonights Real Housewives of Miami

RHOM3.2“It’s easy to take the high road when the low road is the gutter.” ~Lea

“I’m a trooper. I can always pull myself together!” ~Alexia

“Everyone loves Lauren Foster!” ~ Marysol

“What exactly is gay polo?” ~Lauren Foster Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Why Won’t These Men Fuck Their Women?

RHOM3.2Tonight on Real Housewives of Miami, I love knowing that Karent is watching every week at her parents house wishing she was still on. Is that mean?

Romain takes Joanna to see their new house. She hates it. Until she sees it is on the water. The view is awesome. Romain refuses to sleep with her.

I can’t imagine Alexia going by Al. LOL I love boys names for girls but Alexia is such a Cuban Barbie.  They are meeting with a tarot card reader. I love this show. I also sort of believe in this. Shut up. The card reader says  Mama Elsa  is going to be fine but that some old woman around fifty has done black magic on her. LEA BLACK IS A BLACK WITCH!

Lea’s house design continues. Lisa is there looking for designers. Lisa looks for an excuse  to recap last week. Sigh. I hate these staged, sponsored scenes.  That said, I know that Adriana used Lea. I just kind of think it is funny. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Miami Recap: These People REALLY Need to Get Laid

RHOM3.2Well, after that Debbie Downer of a Real Housewives of  OC reunion, I am hoping for some levity here. It’s been sort of a heavy duty day today. Can we please get to some random mocking of housewives?

Adrianna is standing in the rain outside of Lea’s house. Adrianna says that she has always been loyal to Lea, but now she is turning on her. They gave Adrianna subtitles to says “because of what Ana did to her” (I am assuming this is supposed to be a reference to Ana’s folder of information on Lea she pulled out at the reunion and we never got to see fully exposed. Send me that folder, Ana! :) )  It didn’t sound to me like that is what Adrianna said. Then we get yet ANOTHER Purveyors of Pop frankenbite where it looks like Adrianna says. “I told you not to engage with Ana!”  Which not only was not said but doesn’t even make any sense. Continue reading

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