Category Archives: Elsa Patton

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 Recap

wap-real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-preview_0

We are back where we left off on Tuesday with Lisa pissed off and hiking up her fake boobies to prepare for round two with Joanna. Lisa is mad that Joanna’s make-up artist called her all kinds of names, including whore.  Joanna seems to be implying that the reason Lisa can’t get pregnant is because she “parties too much.” So I was thinking drinking. But Lisa herself seems to defending herself against something more serious, yet unspoken. Interesting.

Lisa and Joanna apparently spoke on the phone the night before the reunion and promised each other not to hit below the belt. In other words, don’t go there. Alexia points out how ridiculous it is to call each other and get your stories straight before the reunion. Then Lisa pops out with, “What happened to that necklace that Romain bought you last season?” Joanna says she traded it in for a smaller diamond. (huh? who does that?) Lisa says it’s B.S. that it was a loaner for the show. Lisa has taken issue in the past with all of Lea’s loaners saying that Lenny has actually bought all of hers.

Lisa says she has heard that Joanna is a hooker. Andy says from who? I respond to Andy, “Um, the entire Internet? Including places that rate such services.” Joanna says she would love to meet whoever said that and Lisa says, “Oh you have met her, you are friends with her!” BOOM!  Adrianna pipes up to say that she had received a call from a Polish reporter… Joanna interjects, “Marta! Yes I know I am suing her right now!”….Adrianna continues that you (Joanna)  had been on several websites (I assume she is referring to porn sites) and that Joanna is an escort and a fraud in every way. The reporter says that Joanna’s home in L.A. is not owned by her but by a corporation. These houses and their homes owned by corporations. Continue reading

36 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Bravo Housewives Disorder, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, News, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM, Roy Black

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap

RHOM3.2

And here we go…. on to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part One Recap… Sofa King many posts today.  Lea has a shit ton of  borrowed diamonds on. Good for her for being able to borrow, go girl!  Andy goes gently with the RHOM. I can already tell he does not care. Way too much fashion talk. So many softball questions. What is it like living in a tourist destination. Lisa says nobody works. Lea is trying to back her up. Even softballs make the girls fight for attention.

More softball wedding stuff.  The hot Brazilian guy broke his arm at Joanna’s wedding. Joanna apparently has been trashing Adrianna’s wedding because she was SO LATE.  Andy says that looking back,  making your guests change twice and being incredibly late was disrespectful?  Everyone seems to agree and Adrianna (whose name Andy refuses to say correctly) is pissed. So Andy asked what Adrianna thought about Joanna’s dress. She said it reminded her of a Flamenco dress. YES! I did not think of that before!  Andy has now pitted bride against bride and it is working. Continue reading

45 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Elaine Lancaster, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM, Roy Black

Real Housewives of Miami Two-Part Reunion Starts Tonight

RHOMMAMAHityouwithpocketbookBravo’s PR release for the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion today gives us the inside scoop on what to expect on the two-part reunion.  Here’s the tea…

NEW YORK – November 11, 2013 – Bravo Media’s “The Real Housewives of Miami”
reunites the ladies of season three to set the record straight on some of the
most talked about antics of the season . In part one, airing Monday, November 11
at 10pm ET/PT, Joanna’s and Lisa’s perfect friendship turns sour when Joanna
goes below the belt by blaming Lisa’s fertility issue on her partying lifestyle.
Alexia struggles to see both sides of the couch, but doesn’t hold anything back
when Lisa questions Alexia’s motives. While Adriana defends herself again and
again on her secret marriage, Lea continues to break Adriana’s olive branch. Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

Real Housewives of Miami Recap: It’s All About Lea!

RHOMleablackglasses

This episode is going to be all about Lea. Oh joy. Perhaps I should have watched The Blacklist  first.  Even worse the next scene is Joanna and Romain.  Romain’s mother makes a excuse to avoid the wedding. So does his father and brother.  Awesome. Later Bravo Romain sets up a series of surprises for Joanna: an  outdoor picnic where he tears up the prenup, and a day sail on a boat where he gives her a puppy.

Adrianna’s son is going to his first formal and she wants to chaperone. Bravo paid for a Rolls to Alex is going with a guy. They are very young. It’s probably just how they do in whatever grade he is in. Continue reading

21 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Elsa Patton, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM, Roy Black

Real Housewives Of Miami Recap: Lisa Gets Drunk on a Birken And Loses Her Mind.

RHOM the-real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-kids-peter-and-frankie-14

Oh lord. RHOM starts with Joanna and Romain’s sex issues. OMG. I don’t like Joanna’s personality. But there is no denying she is young and pretty on the outside (great site btw, prettyontheoutside.com) and apparently quite sexual.  Perhaps the blowjobs could be the problem? Perhaps Romain can’t get it up? I dunno. But the two chicks talk over sushi (just sayin’) and Joanna asks Lisa to be a bridesmaid. And even Joanna can pronounce it correctly. I’m looking at you Nene for being less educated than Joanna.

It’s Alexia’s birthday and she is fabulous. She has yet to offer to send me some of her cast off sunglasses, but that doesn’t keep me from secretly hoping. I wonder if she ever has a garage sale? I would fly down just to try to score sunglasses. $99 RT on American. Not that I looked. Continue reading

36 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Mama Mia!

Original artwork By David Gilmore PrettyontheOutside.com

Original artwork By David Gilmore PrettyontheOutside.com

Tonight, MAMA ELSA comes back! Truly this is all I care about. This will probably be a short recap since (I know y’all are tired of hearing it and I am tired of saying it) I have felt like crap the last few days. Mostly just feverish and grumpy. 🙂  I have actually seen the first look where we spend way too much time getting the two brides together (with grooms in tow) to make up.  Joanna is not a very good fake crier. Her whole story about her mother seeing Adriana’s RT was bogus. I am sure her mother has seen worse.

I love that Lisa made Lenny do some lipo and that he is being a baby about it. I don’t understand how Lisa touching his shoulder is hurting Lenny’s lipo area. Also, if he is bleeding out as bad as Lisa claims he would need to go to the ER.  Hell, maybe he was bleeding that bad. Later they show him up and around and he looks HORRIBLE. Huge amounts of scary bruising and a big hole. Is that normal? Continue reading

28 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Elsa Patton, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM