Ana Quincoceses Bravo blog about the reunion is very enlightening. It’s well-known that Bravo likes to have a target at certain filming events and the reunion is never an exception. It seems this season, the target turned the tables. Sadly, the Purveyors of Pop are fans of people like Thomas Kramer and Joe Francis so they had the task of trying to save Lea’s behind with editing. I’d like a ten week special called Real Housewives of Miami reunion uncensored were they just run the thing as raw footage.
“Weeks before the reunion I started hearing that Lea was boasting about town that she was “coming after me at the reunion.” I was taken aback because we had never had much conflict. I knew she was upset about my defending Marysol but there was certainly no need for retaliation of that magnitude. There is a saying in Spanish, “Guerra avisada no mata soldados.” It means that when you announce a war ahead of time you don’t get to kill any soldiers. And so I prepared. This soldier would not go down without a fight. It didn’t take very long and I didn’t resort to unethical means or ultra-sleuthing to discover anything. It was all there for the taking to anyone who spent a few minutes researching. I tucked all my findings neatly into the now infamous file folder and hoped I wouldn’t have to use it.”
I’m curious what was in the folder. I assume it is how she met her husband. Her husbands rather heinous clients. The way she …shall we say wear the pants…in the family. Lord knows what else. Continue reading »
Lots of boring hashing out of the slap between Adriana and Joanna at Lisa’s party. Andy asks Adriana why she keeps calling Joanna a call girl. My guess would be because she is, but Adriana tries to say that she doesn’t but Joanna jumps in to point out that those call girl website just used her photo without permission. Joanna also says that people should not belittle her for her tickle fetish videos. Lea tries to jump and say if you wouldn’t make an allegation under oath then you shouldn’t say it. It was a weird out of place interjection. Good Lord Lea’s voice is schreechy. Ana says that Lea brought Joe Francis to the party specifically to humiliate Joanna and her sister. Duh! However, Lea jumps up off the couch again screaming at Ana about lies and character assasination and demands truth serum and says she will swear under oath that she did not know Joe was planning anything untoward. Ana says the show is not called The Old and the Restless and makes more age jokes at Lea’s expense.
I’m bored. I think we are talking about Karent. Everyone is giving stories of their take on the Rodolpho storyline. Alexia seems particularly angry with Karent. Andy is going in on Alexia. Now he is asking what Alexia thought about the allegations that Herman is gay. Now Ana says that everyone in Miami thinks Rodolpho is gay. Lea keeps making weird legal analogies and talking about throwing a skunk in the jury room. Lea is talking about Marysol’s relationship being fake. Andy asks if Lisa was a dancer or a stripper when she lived in Vegas. Lisa says of course not. Lisa was in Playboy and she regrets it. Joanna jumps in to say she has two covers on Playboy and she is very proud of them.
It’s time for Mama Elsa. Andy is gushing as he introduces her reel. Mama Elsa says that is Joanna is a fresh young woman with no manners. Elsa says she likes Lea but when she started to beat down Marysol, that hurt me. Mama Elsa says she no longer associates with Thomas and the he never apologized. Andy asks about Elsa’s facial surgery. Elsa says she would like to get it fixed but is afraid to have more surgery. Andy asks why Elsa called Obama and animal. Elsa says she didn’t. She says why would she do that? And that she loves Michele Obama. Mama says she never calls anyone an animal except her husband. Elsa is divorcing her husband and likes intelligent men.
It’s already time for the season finale of the Real Housewives of Miami? I feel like we just started. Plus, I’m having some sort of emotional girl mess today. Whatever. I am going in. The weather in Bimini looks a lot like what we had here in Atlanta today without the beautiful ocean views and the fancy hotel. Did I mention my Christmas present was dropped off outside today without so much as a knock on the door or a plastic baggie? WTF UPS? Anyway, I would not be flying in this half-hour flight or not.
There was a lot of interesting information in the Real Housewives of Miami Bravo blogs this week. So much so that I don’t exactly know where to begin. I think I’ll start with Alexia. We all know by now that there are way more staged scenes than real ones involved with filming these reality shows. Production writes the storyline and the ladies are assigned their roles. It’s clear that the main storyline for the Bimini trip was exposing the fake relationship between Rodolfo and Karent. It was a dirty job but someone had to do it. What I am curious about is whether or not production knew from the beginning of filming that the relationship was fake and didn’t care, or whether they found out about it after filming began and it was obvious to anyone with two eyes. I would not be surprised by either scenario, but let’s assume for now that they found out after the first uncomfortable scene between Rodolfo and Karent.
Okay, now that I have had my Howie Mandel fix, I am ready to recap The Real Housewives of Miami. Let’s make this quick and dirty like a Joanna Krupa blowjob in a movie theater, shall we? Already the help is disturbed.
