I admit it. I’ve gotten lazy during this whole Jodi Arias Trial. All I really had to do was put up a daily update and sit back and wait for folks to show up and discuss it to death in the comments. I suspect that a lot of my sources are busy with the trial too because there hasn’t been that much housewives stuff reported to me. To carry on with my lazy reporting, I’m going to do a hodge-podge of housewives updates here. Hopefully, my housewives fans are still out there and haven’t completely given up on me! Click through for the tea on RHONY, RHONJ, RHOM and RHOA. Continue reading »
SIGH. WordPress ate my first paragraph. And the photo. I honestly can’t even remember what it was about. Stupid WordPress. Oh I remember Lea jumping up and yelling at Ana about some minor bit of nothing. Lea loved to jump up and point her finger at Ana a lot this episode.
Lots of boring hashing out of the slap between Adriana and Joanna at Lisa’s party. Andy asks Adriana why she keeps calling Joanna a call girl. My guess would be because she is, but Adriana tries to say that she doesn’t but Joanna jumps in to point out that those call girl website just used her photo without permission. Joanna also says that people should not belittle her for her tickle fetish videos. Lea tries to jump and say if you wouldn’t make an allegation under oath then you shouldn’t say it. It was a weird out of place interjection. Good Lord Lea’s voice is schreechy. Ana says that Lea brought Joe Francis to the party specifically to humiliate Joanna and her sister. Duh! However, Lea jumps up off the couch again screaming at Ana about lies and character assasination and demands truth serum and says she will swear under oath that she did not know Joe was planning anything untoward. Ana says the show is not called The Old and the Restless and makes more age jokes at Lea’s expense.
Alexia is out on the couch. Andy mentions that Alexia chose not to be a full-time housewife because of her son’s accident. Alexia talks about Frankie’s accident saying that he was not expected to live, and later he was expected to be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life, however he has made tremendous progress and can now walk and talk and feed himself. Alexia planning to try to get him back into school in January. Lots of tears. Andy brings up Peter getting arrested and asks about what happened. Alexia begins by saying that Peter is an introvert who had a very difficult time coping with Frankie’s accident. Alexia tries to avoid saying what Peter did and Andy points out that Peter hit a homeless man. Alexia says what her son did was wrong and she does not condone it Alexia breaks down sobbing. Marysol is sobbing. Alexia doesn’t want to talk about it so of course, Andy starts rattling off viewer questions on the subject.
The first viewer question is about why Peter pled ‘not guilty’ despite the fact that he taped the entire thing and put it on Youtube. Alexia says she can’t really answer for the Peter regarding the legal decisions he made and she begins to rattle off his sentencing which is basically community service. We are spending way too much time on this.
I’m bored. I think we are talking about Karent. Everyone is giving stories of their take on the Rodolpho storyline. Alexia seems particularly angry with Karent. Andy is going in on Alexia. Now he is asking what Alexia thought about the allegations that Herman is gay. Now Ana says that everyone in Miami thinks Rodolpho is gay. Lea keeps making weird legal analogies and talking about throwing a skunk in the jury room. Lea is talking about Marysol’s relationship being fake. Andy asks if Lisa was a dancer or a stripper when she lived in Vegas. Lisa says of course not. Lisa was in Playboy and she regrets it. Joanna jumps in to say she has two covers on Playboy and she is very proud of them.
It’s time for Mama Elsa. Andy is gushing as he introduces her reel. Mama Elsa says that is Joanna is a fresh young woman with no manners. Elsa says she likes Lea but when she started to beat down Marysol, that hurt me. Mama Elsa says she no longer associates with Thomas and the he never apologized. Andy asks about Elsa’s facial surgery. Elsa says she would like to get it fixed but is afraid to have more surgery. Andy asks why Elsa called Obama and animal. Elsa says she didn’t. She says why would she do that? And that she loves Michele Obama. Mama says she never calls anyone an animal except her husband. Elsa is divorcing her husband and likes intelligent men.
The replay the flower ceremony from the end of the season. Ana is crying after watching the divorce scenes. Andy says it seems like she is still in love with him, Ana says not “in love” but that she will always be very close with him. Marysol says she is putting her divorce behind her. Adriana is “probably” getting married in the spring. Joanna says she is planning her fairytale wedding. Lisa is continuing to try to have children. Karent is doing the single life one day at a time. Andy asks Lea what her predictions for the group are. Lea says she treats people better than they treat her. Lea is fake crying. It’s pretty funny.
That’s a wrap. I think part one was better than part two. What did y’all think?
Can you believe it is already time for the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Show? I am so ready to see how this all goes down and what jewelry Lea rented for the show. Well, Lea said she borrowed over a million dollars worth of diamonds and they do not disappoint. I would not want to be the buyer after she got her bad energy all over them though. I’d have to have Mama Elsa do a cleansing with chicken feet and sage and maybe a handful of rice.
Andy is obsessed with plastic surgery so he wastes lots of time talking about that. He asks who has had it and every hand goes up. Marysol talks about her mother’s bad plastic surgery. She had an eye job go horribly wrong and some silicone injections during a time when doctors didn’t know what they were doing. The silicone can’t be undone. Continue reading »
I’ve been being lazy all day (shocker!) and reading some Bravo blogs. To save you guys some time, I thought I’d post about the interesting things here and there in the RHOM blogs. But a quick note about RHOBH….Faye Resnick has been added to the website. She now has her own bio and everything. This could mean we are stuck with her for the rest of the season. Also, I’ve been informed that she had a blog up about the last episode and got tons of negative comments. The blog is no longer there. Faye was also defending Kyle on twitter the other day. It seems that Kyle was getting a lot of flack for her manipulative little dinner party.Meanwhile the RHOM gave us some interesting updates.
It’s already time for the season finale of the Real Housewives of Miami? I feel like we just started. Plus, I’m having some sort of emotional girl mess today. Whatever. I am going in. The weather in Bimini looks a lot like what we had here in Atlanta today without the beautiful ocean views and the fancy hotel. Did I mention my Christmas present was dropped off outside today without so much as a knock on the door or a plastic baggie? WTF UPS? Anyway, I would not be flying in this half-hour flight or not.
Who is this jailbird friend of Lea’s that she is name dropping now? Never heard of him. Lea says “All my friends from jail call me!” And Adrianna is all yeah you probably masturbate with them on the phone. No doubt Adrianna, no doubt. Continue reading »
There was a lot of interesting information in the Real Housewives of Miami Bravo blogs this week. So much so that I don’t exactly know where to begin. I think I’ll start with Alexia. We all know by now that there are way more staged scenes than real ones involved with filming these reality shows. Production writes the storyline and the ladies are assigned their roles. It’s clear that the main storyline for the Bimini trip was exposing the fake relationship between Rodolfo and Karent. It was a dirty job but someone had to do it. What I am curious about is whether or not production knew from the beginning of filming that the relationship was fake and didn’t care, or whether they found out about it after filming began and it was obvious to anyone with two eyes. I would not be surprised by either scenario, but let’s assume for now that they found out after the first uncomfortable scene between Rodolfo and Karent.
So production decides that Alexia can “find” a tabloid story through her Venue researchers and out Karent on camera. Production sets up what Lisa calls in her blog, “the Karent trap.” It’s interesting to note that the storyline for RHOA in Anguilla is essentially the same thing. Tonight Nene is going to out Kenya Moore regarding her fake relationship with Walter. Oddly RHOM and RHOA have two different production companies. It’s like there is a list of storylines out there they all are using for ideas. Days after Walter takes to the radio to admit he was playing the role of boyfriend, Alexia admits in her blog that they all knew Karent was faking a relationship for the cameras. Continue reading »
Okay, now that I have had my Howie Mandel fix, I am ready to recap The Real Housewives of Miami. Let’s make this quick and dirty like a Joanna Krupa blowjob in a movie theater, shall we? Already the help is disturbed.
I feel like we missed something. The editing picks up the next morning. Lea says if Karent’s relationship is real, why would she just not say so. Karent suddenly goes in on Alexia’s relationship with her husband saying there are rumors all over town it is not real. Um, they are really married, Karent and you are really playing a role on TV with a telenova actor. There are all sorts of permeations of marriages out there, but very few people go on a reality show pretending to have a boyfriend. It’s basically you and Kenya Moore. That does not put you in the best company. Joanna seems to think she should Karent should just go after everyone else’s relationship in relation like Alexia’s or Marysol’s but not Joannas. Gigglesnort. Or Lea’s who has had its share of tabloid fodder. Wasn’t Lea right there egging Alexia on to tell Karent? How is she getting a pass on this? Why is everyone so intimidated by Lea?
Joanna calls Alexia’s husband gay and even Lea defends that. Good grief. How much deflection can we have before breakfast? Lea is clearly not even pretending to be on Karent’s side. Lea essentially says we all know you are in a fake relationship for the show inasmuch as she can say that with cameras rolling. Karent comes back with Roy being a weak ass husband. Lea is not amused. But it seems to be true. Continue reading »
I always love a good housewives trip and tonight on the Real Housewives of Miami, the ladies are off to Bimini for the weekend. I have been consistent since the season began that I am not fond of Karent. However, tonight I suspect I’m going to feel a bit sorry for her as the plan appears to be to have her frenemies drag her out of the country to tell her that her lover is cheating on her. That’s got to suck.
But first, We get Marysol trying to freeze Mama Elsa to death in Miami. How is this possible? Lea admits in her talking head she is just along to watch the carnage. Well, at least she is honest about that. Romain wants to go to Bimini, or he is pretending he is. I think secretly he is thrilled to have a weekend to horndog around. Mama Elsa is predicting a bad energy for the trip. I could have done that. But these RHOM women never ask me. Continue reading »
And here we go with Real Housewives of Miami… James/Elaine comes to Lea’s son’s birthday party (Because why? Oh I know, because s/he can’t miss a moment of camera time) dragging Lisa Pliner in his wake for back-up. Lisa, who is also looking for some airtime. spits her lines out immediately by trashing Marysol. Nothing keeps you off the editing floor like good old-fashioned vitriol. The producers of RHOM practically film themselves holding cue cards this show is so scripted. I’m guessing entrances were filmed and refilmed more than a scene from Days of Our Lives. Lisa’s lines include things like “Marysol was attacking me. She told me to hire Lauren and not James.” Oh that Marysol, so confrontational, that one. Sigh. Shouldn’t the lines sort of make the storyline coherent instead of completely misstating what we saw on the last episode? Everyone in the room including Alexia, is acting like James is in the right. Alexia was not even there to witness the seven-foot man in a dress shouting at Marysol.
Ana tells her daughters what happened at Thomas Kramer’s she was very accurate in the retelling. Ana is hurt and still angry with Marysol for, in her mind, siding with Thomas. Her daughters tell her that she and Marysol will get past it. That ends the respite of sanity. Continue reading »