What secrets could possibly be left for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to reveal? Do we even want to know?
Brandi’s Secrets:
1. Brandy says that her Oscars dress fit when she tried it on but she didn’t try it on the night before. When she got there it took four people to get her in it.
2. Brandi called child stars “a particular breed of hideous” in her book. Andy points out that Kim and Kyle were child stars. I laughed out loud. Brandi says she was talking about Leann but that some child stars have a certain brattiness as a result of getting what they want from an early age.
3. In Paris, Brandi showed the two men from Louis Vuitton her bra. I suppose technically it is a bra. It’s black and the cup is lattice work with more boob than lattice. We also learn that Brandi had very large, very dark areolas. I did not need to know that.
4. Brandi made out in the bathroom with the hot guy at the white party. He is still “in her life.” But they are not dating. Continue reading »
We start the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 2 with the ending of the accusations from part one that Yolanda was trash talking Lisa. Lisa says she trusts Yolanda and that her trust with Kyle has been broken and will need to be repaired. This does not sit well with Kyle. The topic quickly comes to an end.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion begins with Andy telling everyone that Adrienne is not longer with us. I love how he says that her last act as a housewife is being a chickenshit. Lisa says that if you sign up to be on a reality show you can’t then sue when someone brings things up about you. Yolanda says that her not returning is a known consequence of not showing up for the finale. Lisa says that Adrienne is leaking stories to the tabloids saying that she quit, when that is not true and Lisa knows she wanted to stay. Even Kyle is doing some back-pedaling to distance herself from Adrienne.
This episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to be fabulous if for no other reason than it is Adrienne Maloof’s last episode! I love Yolanda. Jennifer goes and drags Marisa back over to Brandi and Yolanda (and Lisa) to finish the conversation. Brandi tells Marisa that rather than putting her husband down by telling the entire world she wants to sleep with someone new, they should both give each other a hall pass. Lisa looks physically ill but she makes Marisa tell Brandi who said she would sleep with married men (It was Faye). Yolanda gives Marisa a lecture on trash talking your friends in front of others and the conflab is finally over.
YAY! It’s time for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I believe this is the finale. Which sucks because RHOBH is my favorite these days. Lisa is getting ready for her vow renewal. Lisa and Brandi are going to get massages and dish on Adrienne. Adrienne is having another one of her sponsored parties that she gets paid for. Lisa was invited and Brandi wasn’t. They’ve decided to hang out in Lisa’s beautiful yard for the day. The massage guy does feet. I hate the ones that skip your feet. Whenever I am in NYC the most important thing to do is to go to Chinatown and get foot massages at every single place that has the little old Chines ladies that do them. I could stay there all day, with meal breaks in Little Italy. I have slothlike qualities.
On this week’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we get our final glimpse of Paris as the girls take a cruise on the Seine. I can’t get over how cold and windy it was in Paris in July! At least they seemed to have packed lots of jackets and long sleeves. Yolanda gives Brandi some shoes that even I think are awesome, and so her! Oddly, most of the Bravo PR pics are from the cruise even though it was barely shown!
Here we go! I am kind of excited about this episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills! The White Party is always full of drama. Plus there is Kim’s Nose Party and Brandi’s drunken escapades! First up, the Nose party. Kyle walks in with Portia and Kennedy, Taylor is supposed to join the party later. Oh wait! Taylor calls drunk off her ass to tell Kim that she is not coming to the party. She seems not to know that Kennedy is not with her so Kyle is just going to keep Kennedy overnight. So Kim and Kyle dash off to tell everyone! Adrienne suggests that since they have not seen Taylor with a man, maybe she is with a woman. Funny how her mind went there, no? Kyle is being supportive of her sister! Will wonders never cease? Adrienne has said “my husband is a great surgeon” in about 15 different ways in the last minute and a half. 
I tried to get a quick and dirty recap of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills up and once again WordPress ate the first two or three paragraphs. We began with Marissa wondering like the rest of us what the hell is so empowering about women sliding up and down the pole. Basically everyone took a turn on the pole and that was that. No more mention of this “seminar” Brandi is running or how it went or when it is… perhaps it is the next day and that is why later in the show everyone bails on Yolanda’s private plane except Jenn and Lisa. Meanwhile, the best paragraph of my recap of RHOBH got eaten by WordPress. Apparently. Adrienne has a new line of handbags to go with her fat little shoes. Despite the fat that the Maloof Hoof is constantly on clearance, Adrienne thinks she can expand to handbags. They better be some low-end handbags because a handful of designers have cornered the market on stupid people with money. They now actually pay five figures for a purse. A fool and her money are soon parted… I just can’t believe women are this stupid. Adrienne made a couple of jabs in her talking head about everyone being in Vegas besides her because her business is shoes and handbags and Brandi’s is the pole. Um, your business used to be a serious empire of many things. The fact you have now stooped to being one of those housewives who sell handbags and wines of the month speaks volumes about your business.
