Category Archives: Mohamed Hadid

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Premier (Recap)

RHobh Cast

I’m so excited. I am have a few technical issues but I am up and running with some twine and duct tape! I loved all the openings. I’m going to let you guys capture them for me in comments if you don’t mind because I know this is going to be a hard one to recap quickly. Thanks in advance!

Kyle is getting ready for the white party! YAY!  This year it comes first which is weird because no one can be disinvited at the door for being a litigious cuntsicle! #Taylor. I’ve seen this Justin guy before. Didn’t he help some housewives dress as drag queens or for the Gay Pride Parade or something? I’m not kidding. The White Party has gotten huge and now has a major budget. Kyle is still trying to push a reluctant Sophia into modeling. She is tall and gorgeous but she’s never liked modeling or being on the show.

Kyle claims she has not seen Lisa Vanderpump since the reunion. From here on out I will call Lisa Vanderpump  “Pump” and Lisa Rinna “Lisa.”

Brandi and Yolanda are going for a fitness walk. David plays the piano for us low lives. We are not worthy. Brandi is still up Yolanda’s butt. Which explains why Pump was cool towards her on WWHL. OMG. Yo has a swatter on her property who has set up a little beachside dress shop right on the highway/right of way for PCH. (wait for someone to correct me)  She asks if he knows she is on her property and he is laying back playing on his phone saying ” No Mon, I did not know.” lol. He’s so chill. Hell I thought they were going for a walk on the beach why are the out on the highway? They finally find the beach. Yo tries to explain to Brandi about being connected to the earth. She didn’t get it. Yo talks about Gigi’s success. She really has hit the big time. Brandi mentions she is homeless (AGAIN) and tries to move in. The house she is talking about moving in now, I think  she got tossed out of that too. Brandi starts trashing Pump. Yo tries to get Brandi to connect with nature again. It doesn’t work. Sad. Continue reading

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Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Dimitri Charalambopoulos, Eileen Davidson, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster

Gigi Hadid Debuts in Boyfriend Cody’s Simpson’s Latest Music Video, Surfboard

Cody Simpson, the 17-year-old crooner from down under, may have been prematurely booted from #DWTS last night, but he’s riding high today, releasing his Surfboard video in the wake of his DWTS publicity.  His 19-year-old cradle robbing girlfriend Gigi Hadid stars in the sexy but not raunchy video set mainly on the beach. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Recap Part One

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2014Reunions are super hard to recap. I am going to try to avoid transcribing and just share some random thoughts on the over all fights. We start with the whole Puerto Rico situation. Everyone says that it was hard to relive the Puerto Rico.  Brandi says that she and Lisa have not spoken since Puerto Rico but that she did send Lisa a mean email.

Lisa points out that Brandi is all over the internet saying that Lisa used to live deep in the valley and filed for bankruptcy neither of which are true. Brandi’s reaction is to turn to Kyle for backup. Lisa says she has never lived in Calabasas. She moved from France to Beverly Park.  Brandi paid $9.99 to look it up on an Internet site and so she knows Lisa lived there!  Brandi is insane. Lisa mentions that they have owned many properties over the years. I can’t believe how long Brandi wants to argue that Lisa lived somewhere she did not. Good Grief.

Next up. Yolanda pretends that her issue with Lisa is that she did not visit her enough while she was ill. Which is bullshit. I am bored already. Yolanda expects her friends there when she wants to fingerpaint for her college aged daughter. I can’t.

They played pretty much every ridiculous scene Kim was in all at once. It was a whole lot of crazy. Kyle and Kim are close. This is incredibly boring. I literally keep zoning out. There is really no need to talk about Kim this much. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: The Kids Are Alright

RHOBH Puerto Rico Trip

Back in Puerto Rico the witches coven is having an early meeting . Carlton would be so sad that she missed this. Everyone has convicted Lisa of the crime of telling Brandi to pack her tabloids for the Palms Springs trip months ago.  Even Joyce and Michael are joining in on the conviction. Lisa and Ken smartly decided to fly home earlier that morning. Yolanda claims to have check on their whereabouts with the concierge. A much more viable scenario is that production chose her to be the carrier pigeon for this particular bit of intel as Yolanda could care less where Lisa and Ken are.  Yolanda declares they will not discuss Ken and Lisa any further on the remainder of the trip. I give them five minutes.

The ladies seem to enjoy the ginormous lizards of Puerto Rico. That is the only bad thing about the beaches of Curacao, by the way. I hate those things.  Brandi and Kim decide the best behavior they can think of is to risk getting arrested in Puerto Rico by wading in a fountain. It never ceases to amaze me that these women have absolutely no idea how to behave in other parts of the world. Puerto Rico looks beautiful. Wait, Kyle is talking about the 100th birthday of Beverly Hills that the Chamber of Commerce is putting on. Didn’t we already do that? Was that an out of sequence editing error? I suppose it is another function. Perhaps there were many 100th Beverly Hills Anniversary parties. Continue reading

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RHOBH Cast Shakeup Rumors

Lemons RHOBH lisa Yolanda

Photo Credit: Mr. Wizard @MyMagicMobi on Twitter

Y’all have been asking me in emails (thank you) if the rumors here and there about Joyce and Carlton being axed from RHOBH are true.  I can’t answer that because nothing has happened yet with contracts.  What I can tell you is that Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda Foster are not campaigning TOGETHER for anything.

I find it amusing that the same sites who claim to know who is leaving RHOBH insist that Lisa and Yolanda are BFFs and have formed some sort of alliance to get Mohammed’s finance, Shiva Safai, on the show. Especially considering Lisa is retweeting the above picture on twitter. Continue reading

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Lisa Vanderpump Addresses RHOBH Drama

REal Housewives of Beverly HIlls

Things sure are chilly between these three!

This season, Lisa Vanderpump has found herself at the wrong end of many attacks by people she has considered friends for years.  All season long, the Richards sisters and Brandi have been promising us that “we will see” what a manipulative bitch Lisa is. Well, so far, they are coming off as the backstabbers. Last night Kyle was nice to her face while ripping her up in her talking heads.  Brandi was going back to her first season to look for problems with her relationship with Lisa.  Brandi is also claiming Lisa was controlling her mind and telling her what to do and say after two seasons of screaming to anyone who will listen that she is her own person and nobody’s mouthpiece.  Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see how making Lisa Vanderpump cry on national television is going to make these three assholes look better.  We will see next Monday I suppose.

Lisa clears the air on the Cedric issue that Brandi decided to bring up last night:

I am of course extremely upset when I see, for example, Brandi bringing up the subject of Cedric. All of you who have followed the story from the beginning will understand Cedric was a precarious subject and one that out of loyalty to Brandi I would never have raised. But now she is saying I had Cedric deported. I will explain, with regard to him being deported. It should have been done, but unfortunately Housewives don’t have that much influence over Homeland Securities. . .If after he left us he was working in violation of his visa, then I am sure it was a problem. I believe he left to return to England of his own volition and to renter America he would need another sponsor. Continue reading

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Is There Trouble in Paradise for Yolanda and David Foster?

RHOBH Yolanda's House For Sale

Say it isn’t so! Is it possible that David Foster is losing interest in his fourth wife so soon?  The seemingly perfect couple married on November 11, 2011 (The same day Kim Zolciak married Kroy Biermann)  how is it possible that the bloom is already off the lemon blossom?  Could it be that David feels like he married a lemon after Yolanda was diagnosed with “chronic lyme disease” with in a year of their marriage? Is it the curse of the Real Housewives Franchise? What is going on here? Well, for one thing they are frantically liquidating their assets!

Remember this little guessing game I like to play with you guys that infuriates you because I never give the answers? It was a video of a beautiful apartment for sale in coast in British Columbia for a mere 5 million dollars? I actively campaigned for someone to hit the donate button for with a five million dollar contribution, but sadly no one bit. Anyway, that was David’s Canadian apartment. I haven’t check to see if it sold, but the point is they were trying to unload it. That was in July of 2013, a mere 20 months after their happy union. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: It’s All Lisa Vanderpump’s Fault!

RHOBH Mohamed Hadid's house

This picture of Mohamed’s house from LA TIMES States the list price at $85 million

This week on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the attempt to take down Lisa Vanderpump begins in earnest. Pay careful attention to Brandi this episode. She will attempt to sway the girls, particularly the Richards sisters and Yolanda to distance themselves from Lisa Vanderpump.  You see, it’s important when social bullying to have the numbers on your side. By this point in filming she is beginning to realize that she is going to look really bad this season, just when her book is coming out. So she desperately tries to make someone look work than she does. She tries it with Joyce, but she is not at all easily worked up. Her pageant training has taught her to keep her Puerto Rican passion in check when under fire and handle things with grace and dignity.  Plus Kyle and Kim aren’t getting on Brandi’s hatemobile for Joyce, so she has to find what she thinks is an easier target.

We begin tonight with Yolanda and Mohamed planning a graduation party for Gigi at Mohamed’s palatial home. I thought he sold that place. Perhaps 50,000 square foot homes are not as easy to sell as one might think.  The place has been on the market ( For a cool 60 million) since 2012.  I just Googled a picture and it seems the new price is $85 million. It is a gorgeous place with equally gorgeous grounds. Yolanda meets with Mohamed and his newest fiancée, Shiva for breakfast. And by breakfast I mean Yolanda does not eat anything.  Yolanda feels the need to talk about Lisa’s birthday party for Ken and Mauricio. Mohamed says that Lisa invited him to her party so she knew that Yolanda’s step daughter was getting married that day. In Yolanda’s Blog She pointed out that neither Ken nor Mauricio’s birthday was on the day of the party, in fact it was a month later.  Yolanda mentions that Lisa didn’t come to her stupid painting party either (because she was dealing with City Hall getting permits for her new bar, PUMP!)  How dare Lisa be so “all about Lisa” and not drop everything to come paint daisies on mini canvases for Gigi! The horror! Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Carlton Continues to Look For Tits on an Ant

rhobhseason4

Lisa and Kyle are meeting with Kevin Lee the crazy party planner to plan a birthday dinner for Ken and Mauricio. Kyle wants it black tie chic to be the antithesis of Carlton’s nasty pool orgy. Yolanda will be at David’s daughter’s wedding. Kyle says to invite Carlton because they are on good terms.  Oh Kyle. It’s Carlton, the Eternally Offended Witch. You will never be on good terms.

Joyce invites Carlton to lunch. Carlton makes fun of Joyce for not knowing the word flippancy,  I know plenty of native English speakers who could not define that word. I think because Joyce speaks English flawlessly, without even a hint of accent, makes people assume it is her first language and judge her intelligence on her English vocabulary. Joyce says that she respects everyone’s religion. She would like to let Joyce know that she does not want her to threaten anymore spells on her. She explains that when she went home from Yolanda’s party, her husband became very ill quite out of the blue. Carlton does not do black magic anymore because her kids were born.  Carlton is offended. Carlton threatened her with spells just the last time they were together and now she is offended that Joyce’s storyline is to believe her.

Yo is packing up Gigi to send her to NYC. Kim is getting matching tattoos with Kimberly to prepare for her leaving the nest. Kim says that in the afterlife she is going to be a butterfly and when he kids see a butterfly that will be her. Um, that freaks me out because my mother never said that to me, and then shortly after she died I had an encounter with a butterfly and I just knew it was her. I saw them A LOT shortly after she died and my sisters had the same experience. I still see her from time to time but not as often. Kinda freaky. The tattoos are on their inner wrists and were painful. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: If All Else Fails, Cry

real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-season-4-what-planet-does-brandi-glanville-live-onWe return to the lovely dinner party Lisa has arranged with Brandi still screaming “Shut the Fuck Up!”  Michael is asking her very politely to watch her language. Brandi tries to play the victim card saying she has no husband to speak up for her. Correct, Brandi and there is a reason for that. You have no idea how to behave in public. Brandi continues on telling Micheal and Joyce to shut the fuck up. Joyce says, she thought that Brandi just needed rehab, but that perhaps this is just who Brandi is.  Brandi is highly offended by that simple observation. Joyce rattles off a list of Brandi’s offenses in return.

Brandi is out classed and drunk and unsure of how to proceed. Oh wait, it’s the poor pitiful Brandi card. That always works. Especially if tears are involved. She blurts out “I miss my puppy.”  Oddly, she also throws out “I’m not lying! I am telling the truth!” in a way that makes no sense to the conversation unless something was edited. Lisa and Yolanda and Ken baby her as if none of her hideous behavior before ever happened. Because surely, if one is missing their dog, they have free reign to be as nasty as they want to be to others at a dinner party. Brandi leaves. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap

real-housewives-beverly-hills-joyce-husband (2)I really, really think Joyce’s husband is hot as hell. He reminds me of my one great love. Only he was not that big yet, and  just a bartender at the Wind of Change… sigh. Oh how I fucked THAT up. But moving on. Oh look. Carlton is taking her submissive and his mother fetish shopping. I’m sorry. I just can’t recap this.  I am WAY right of traditional gender roles and while I want everyone to do what they enjoy, this skeeves me out. #TMI

I love pretentious Yolanda. I can’t help myself. Yo has adult acne issues. Brandi calls to tell her to put Visine on it. lol. Crushed aspirin or toothpaste would have been better options. ? Seriously, if we have time for a Yolanda has zits scene, I have lost all hope for an interesting show. Isn’t Yo supposed to be the health expert?

Okay Lisa already had swans, and Mohammed gave her another pair for Christmas? Or did something “happen” to these? Where they prop swans? What? Anyway, Lisa and Ken are outside deadheading roses.  I love that Ken realizes that Brandi needs a man to look after her. Ken is the new voice of reason on this show. We all need a man to look after us, and when we don’t have that, things become very difficult. Lisa decides to sort of back off of trying to “mother” Brandi.  She decides to have a dinner with Mo and Martin because they know Joyce. Maybe they can sort out their differences. Continue reading

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Swangate Update Plus Random RHOBH and Vanderpump Rules Updates

proxy (4)I know we have all been verklempt over Swan Gate 2013 and I have been sleuthing away trying to get to the bottom of the story.  Here is what I have pieced together from reading Mohammad and Lisa’s Twitterlines.  Sometime prior to December 15th, Mohammad gave Lisa her Christmas present early.  His gift was a pair of swans for Lisa’s cement pond.  Everything was going very well, until one of the young swans looked at the other and took off.  See, swans mate for life and well, this was apparently an arranged marriage and one swan was not fond of her pre-chosen life partner.  Or so it would seem.

Lisa was beside herself and Mohammad and Ken pulled off a solution to the problem. Mohammad bought another swan and Ken told Lisa that the swan with the cold feet returned.  Problem solved!  But I think Ken, who had a car accident in the middle of Swan Gate 2013, cracked under Lisa’s interrogations and admitted the returning swan was actually a new swan. At any rate, the new swan seems much or taken with her partner and the prognosis for a long and happy future seems great. Meanwhile, the runaway bride swan, is probably still out there somewhere looking for her proper life partner. The end. Continue reading

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