Oh um, hi. Sorry. I was totally mesmerized by Yolanda Foster’s home and infinity pool. I totally had to sit there and gawk at the view. Yolanda’s brother and mother have flown in from Holland for the reveal of David Foster’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!
The editing on RHOBH makes recapping a PITA. You get a tiny little clip of nothing from Brandi, and a tiny little clip of nothing from Kyle…. Basically, everyone has dogs and everyone is discussing whether or not Mauricio is a dog. Well, everyone except Carlton. Carlton is a witch, so she has a black cat, who she is taking in for acupuncture treatments.
Kyle and Joyce go to get weirdo Beverly Hills facials. Joyce wants to take everyone to Palm Springs but she is a bit wary of Lisa. Continue reading
Filed under Brandi Glanville, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster
Brandi wants to dump JR now that she got the house she wanted. She is having this conversation with Jennifer in the bathroom as she runs her bath. She made sure to flash her entire ass at the cameraman which I thought was a bit too…um “cheeky” and then she strips naked and gets into the tub with a full camera crew in her bathroom! Sigh.
Joyce runs a pageant called Queen of the Universe. I wonder how Trump feels about a former Miss Universe naming her pageant that? She has two adorable little boys and they have a mini putting green in their back yard. How cute. Will they be the next Tiger Woods?
As much as I want to call Carlton Morticia and violate my own rule against stupid names, I won’t. Carlton is planning a luncheon at her home for the ladies.
Yolanda is receiving daily in home visits from a holistic nurse. Gigi is leaving at the end of the summer to go to school in NYC. That should be a great place for her modeling career as well. She is studying criminal psychology. I wish I had focused my undergrad on that rather than general psychology.
JR seems like a nice guy, who is about to be blindsided. He is trying to be nice. But Brandi is pissed that he went on a couples trip to Texas without inviting her or even telling her. She seems like she is trying to dump him before he dumps her. Continue reading
Filed under Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster
We start with Yolanda’s AMAZING house. I cannot tear my eyes away long enough to blog. I love her and I hate that she will end up not being on “my team” this season. Probably. Oh God. Yo is doing a master cleanse will medicating for Lyme Disease.
David and Yolanda are off to her doctor’s appointment. David is much more supportive of Yo than Peter was for Cynthia last night. David agrees that he is doing a great job being supportive. Yolanda has been through hell. David carries her Hermes bag and rubs her feet. Yolanda is getting her port taken out. Gigi is on the master cleanse and is all light-headed and weak and afraid to ride the horse. MASTER CLEANSE IS NO BUENO!
Lisa is still on Dancing With The Stars and I swear we did this last season. I guess it was just all the new coverage. Kyle and the girls go to DWTS to support Lisa. Even Taylor Armstrong is there! That was when Brandi had the mysteriously burned hand so she was wearing gloves to DWTS. Go look at the picture I never did find out what happened. Or if I did I have forgotten. Taylor’s married boyfriend John is there with her. They are engaged now. After the show they all go out to dinner with Lisa and Gleb. Kyle and Kim watch Lisa faint on DWTS in the last scene. They are saying she if faking it because she doesn’t want to do the show anymore. Wow. Do you think that is true? Both Richards girls mock Lisa and reenact the fainting scene. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Reality Show, Reality TV, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster
Last Thursday, Just in time for Memorial Day Weekend, Yolanda Foster became a US citizen. Brandi was on hand for the special ceremony (as were Bravo cameras). Yolanda says that she disliked having to spilt from her family when traveling back to the US and clearing customs. I have to say that Yo’s timeline is so refreshing. Always positive, beautiful pictures, sharing her dates with girlfriends. What’s not to love about Yolanda. Nothing, that’s what. Continue reading
We start the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 2 with the ending of the accusations from part one that Yolanda was trash talking Lisa. Lisa says she trusts Yolanda and that her trust with Kyle has been broken and will need to be repaired. This does not sit well with Kyle. The topic quickly comes to an end.
We move on to the Adrienne and Paul drama. Much footage has shown regarding the way Adrienne treated Paul on the show. It seems like a very long montage. Andy asks Kyle what she thought about them since they (Kyle and Adrienne) spent time together. Kyle says she just thought they were cute together with the bickering. Lisa interrupts and says she knew from season one that Paul had moved out of the house a couple of times because Adrienne told her in confidence (which I guess she is now violating) about the problems they were having. Kyle seem irritated that Lisa knew more about Adrienne than she did or perhaps that she was blabbing. Andy quotes Adrienne saying that she thinks Brandi’s new-found friendship with Paul was thought out and vindictive. Brandi says she is not friends with Paul they are simply cordial. Andy says in the same interview Adrienne plainly states that Brandi destroyed her family. Brandi says “I think we all know that’s not the case now.” Andy asks Brandi why she thought their marriage was a business relationship and she says because she never saw them being romantic. She said the one time she saw them kiss was when they were in Hawaii and it was so forced she felt badly for them. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
This episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to be fabulous if for no other reason than it is Adrienne Maloof’s last episode! I love Yolanda. Jennifer goes and drags Marisa back over to Brandi and Yolanda (and Lisa) to finish the conversation. Brandi tells Marisa that rather than putting her husband down by telling the entire world she wants to sleep with someone new, they should both give each other a hall pass. Lisa looks physically ill but she makes Marisa tell Brandi who said she would sleep with married men (It was Faye). Yolanda gives Marisa a lecture on trash talking your friends in front of others and the conflab is finally over.
Linda Foster and Taylor are besties. Taylor tells her that it has been hard for her be nice to Yolanda and she cries and asks Linda if it is okay with her being friends with Yolanda. Linda says she is fine with it. Meanwhile, Lisa has cornered Faye and Faye says that Lisa uses Brandi to get back at Adrienne. Lisa sets her straight on that with no effort whatsoever so Faye changes tack to say that Lisa defends her and brings up the infamous bathroom sex at the white party. Lisa was the one to walk into the bathroom and pull Brandi out so she would not stay in there making out. That was all that happened. Interestingly, Faye has the tabloid version. It would seem that Faye is the mouthpiece for Kyle AND Adrienne. Faye then makes the exact same chess reference that Kyle made on last season’s reunion. I would imagine if you held a gun to Faye and Kyle’s heads, neither of them could tell you the first thing about how to play chess. Interesting they both use a chess analogy though, right? Lisa in her talking head says, “Checkmate, bitch!” This scene is hilarious. Kyle jumps up to intervene while saying in her talking head, “I really don’t like getting in other people’s battles.” Enough airtime for Faye, let’s move on to Ken and Lisa! Or at least watch Adrienne cry. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammar, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
On this week’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we get our final glimpse of Paris as the girls take a cruise on the Seine. I can’t get over how cold and windy it was in Paris in July! At least they seemed to have packed lots of jackets and long sleeves. Yolanda gives Brandi some shoes that even I think are awesome, and so her! Oddly, most of the Bravo PR pics are from the cruise even though it was barely shown!
Back in Beverly Hills there is an odd scene where Marisa says her mother-in-law wants Marisa to co-list the family house with Maurico. I’ve heard that this was just storyline to get Maurico screen time and that ultimately Marisa just did the listing herself. The house is stunning. I am so jealous of the library. That is what a library in a $25 million dollar house should look like.
Lisa Vanderpump would be perfect if it were not for two things. First, it’s gross and annoying that she and Ken bring the dog to the dinner table. And worse, she seems obsessed with Kevin Lee, who I could do without seeing on my TV screen at all. Her house is so amazing though that those things barely matter. She has a huge infinity pool and a pond with swans in the backyard, and there doesn’t seem to be any other homes nearby. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
It’s time for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to go to Paris. I love Paris! I haven’t been there in three years and it is time to go back. I am having to rewrite this paragraph because WordPress ate it. Essentially what happened was Kim and Kyle went to a little intervention with Taylor to discuss her drinking. Kim told her that she was seeing signs of a drinking problem in Taylor and felt the need to address especially because she seems to not be keeping a close eye on Kennedy. Taylor pretty much admitted she uses alcohol as a crutch to get her through some of the rough times and agrees to start watching herself. However, in her blog last week she made a snarky comment about Kim thinking she was Dr. Drew so it seems that she was irritated by it and based on her appearance on WWHL recently, she’s not doing much in the way of self monitoring.
Meanwhile at Villa Rosa, Ken is feeding the swans. Ken’s son Warren lives in St. Tropez and Lisa and Ken are going to see him. Of course they are taking Giggy. Lisa is showing everything to Ken before packing and he is going is giving the obligatory, “I love everything!” husband response.
Yolanda is at Mohamed’s house getting ready for a housewarming party to show the housewives the new house. Yolanda explains that Mohamed is not the faithful type and that didn’t work well for a proper Dutch girls like her. All the girls are at the house except Adrienne who cancelled. Brandi is thrilled and so am I. David discovers that Marisa has been married for 16 years and he says to her husband, “It’s about time for a change!” This of course sends Marisa off on another tangent of how she is ready for some strange. I don’t expect this marriage to last. In fact it reminds me of Adrienne emasculating Paul at every turn. Continue reading
Filed under Brandi Glanville, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
I tried to get a quick and dirty recap of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills up and once again WordPress ate the first two or three paragraphs. We began with Marissa wondering like the rest of us what the hell is so empowering about women sliding up and down the pole. Basically everyone took a turn on the pole and that was that. No more mention of this “seminar” Brandi is running or how it went or when it is… perhaps it is the next day and that is why later in the show everyone bails on Yolanda’s private plane except Jenn and Lisa. Meanwhile, the best paragraph of my recap of RHOBH got eaten by WordPress. Apparently. Adrienne has a new line of handbags to go with her fat little shoes. Despite the fat that the Maloof Hoof is constantly on clearance, Adrienne thinks she can expand to handbags. They better be some low-end handbags because a handful of designers have cornered the market on stupid people with money. They now actually pay five figures for a purse. A fool and her money are soon parted… I just can’t believe women are this stupid. Adrienne made a couple of jabs in her talking head about everyone being in Vegas besides her because her business is shoes and handbags and Brandi’s is the pole. Um, your business used to be a serious empire of many things. The fact you have now stooped to being one of those housewives who sell handbags and wines of the month speaks volumes about your business.
When Kim calls to say she is going to get a nose job THAT DAY. You have to wonder if Kyle even knows when Kim films. Also, did y’all catch Jenn the Celeb Rehab Chick shake her head no when Brandi asked if Kim could have pain meds after a nose job? Kyle just brushed it off like of course, who cares. But the answer is no Kim should not have any narcotic pain meds after a surgery, nor should she be getting an elective surgery this quickly after rehab. I imagine the reason we have this new doctor doing her nose is because she is not telling him she is an addict. There is more than one way to get some pills in Beverly Hills. I predict Kim will say, he didn’t ask and she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to take them.
Edited to add: The rerun is playing in the background and I realize the phone call went like this. Kim: “I am thinking about getting my nose done.” Kyle: “When?” So scripted. If your 40 something sister calls and says she is thinking about getting her nose job, you don’t say, “When?” you say, “What brought this on?”.
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
Tonight we start with Yolanda. I think I am more jealous of her house than any other house on Bravo. I love the flowers and the lemon trees and how she is always eating such great food. I wish I had a nice kitchen like that to cook in! And yes, the refrigerator that would never look a pretty as she keeps it. Surely she has a conventional one for half empty jars of mayonnaise and six packs of PBR around the corner, right? That salad look fantastic! I LOVE Suzanne Somers and really want to get on the hormone therapy that she does in theory. In practice, it’s expensive and there are no longitudinal studies out there yet. But she and Dr. Phil’s wife seem so damn perky and happy on it! Unlike Lisa, I am quite a talented swallower so all those supplements would not be a problem. Well, they would because I never actually take my supplements I just buy them and forget to take them. I loved this scene and wish it was a lot longer.
Brandi’s storyline has her teaching a stripper pole class in Vegas. Brandi was never a stripper and when she was on WWHL she didn’t do a thing on the pole when Andy asked. She’s really not a quick study on the pole. I for one am shocked. Oh wait, she was sandbagging a bit. Turns out she is pretty good.
It’s Kyle’s daughter’s sixth grade graduation party. Which means invite Adrienne, Paul and Faye to rehash Adrienne’s surrogacy issues. Paul and Adrienne ate and ran. Wow, Mauricio’s mom’s plastic surgery looks fantastic! It was a lovely, appropriate drama free family gathering once the Maloofs left. I’m impressed that Kyle didn’t do anything over the top. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster
Looks like we are back at the Moroccan restaurant where Mauricio is being a douchebag and WOW. I am shocked to see Kyle grabbing him and telling him to shut the fuck up. What was that about? Didn’t want him to let on that she was stirring the pot somehow? Then Kyle does her, “the is the last thing I wanted to happen…” routine and apologizes for Mauricio. Brandi is crying about her kids and how Adrienne is taking food out of her kids mouths by suing her over bullshit. Ken is getting such a good edit. Which means I am falling in love with Ken all over again. It does seem like Kyle said it is not about the surrogacy. Which means in Kyle land, sure it is about the surrogacy issue but it’s also about the reasons behind it and why those two decided to use a surrogate. To me anyway. I’m just saying.
I hate to stick up for Taylor but I totally get her saying that she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Yolanda’s opinion from her multimillion dollar house in Malibu about how she should feel. It’s the exact same thing Brandi is saying to Mauricio about the lawsuits he has not being a big deal to him. He has lawyers, they are a big deal to a woman raising two kids alone in Beverly Hills living on a Bravo income alone. OOOOH Taylor says “I think we now a little bit more about her husband than she knows we know…” Very interesting! She refers to his marriage to Linda Thompson (I hope that is the right name, I am so behind). Yolanda goes to the ladies room to support Brandi and Lisa is there. This is MY TEAM and it will for the rest of the season be these three against the rest. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong
Okay this is so confusing. I suppose last week’s RHOBH was an extended episode and Vanderpump Rules was shortened in the world of Bravo which explains why tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is labeled episode one, but I really hate this blurring of the lines. Sigh. Anyway we are back to the scene of Brandi and Scheana crying which I thought we got past last week. The big thing they didn’t include then was Brandi saying that even if Eddie is cheating on Leann she hopes they don’t divorce because she doesn’t want her kids going through that again. She has real tears, y’all. If she did say that last time we saw this scene I missed it.
Lisa is doing the debriefing scene with Brandi and she is not sure how Brandi will get through it and she is everso worried about her. Um, she did it for a storyline for your spin-off because you asked her to Lisa. This ain’t our first trip to the reality show rodeo, ya know. We get how this works. In other news Brandi drinks rosé. I was unaware people still did that. Brandi is explaining to Lisa that Eddie uses the same lines on everyone. This is a convenient and indirect strike against Leann (not that there’s anything wrong than that). Brandi wants to know who Lisa likes best. Sigh. Oh Brandi.
More footage of Yolanda picking lemons and hanging out with her bees. Despite her very odd husband, Yolanda is really starting to grow on me. Like an organic mushroom. Sad story about Kim and Kyle’s broken relationship. Violins in the background. Yolanda says Kim needs ten days on Master Cleanse. I am not kidding.
Meanwhile at Kim’s house, she has a houseboy AND a life coach. She may be my new hero. I need Gary to help me cope, communicate, provide structure and breathe and the houseboy to clean up behind me. Kim is hurt that Kyle outed her as an alcoholic on national TV. *cough* MJ from Shahs of Sunset style*cough* Kim says if you love someone and they have an issue like that you talk to them privately. In all fairness, I want to think Kyle tried that. Want.to.think. Also, I think this is why Asa on Shah’s apologized in last night’s episode. Allegedly. Maybe. Oh, Gary is not the “life coach” clearly he is her sponsor (not that there is anything wrong with that). Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Camille Grammar, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster