It occurred to me yesterday as I spent five and a half hours getting a haircut and some highlights (I look fabulous but Jesus Christ on a cracker, how do these housewives abide sitting for hours with a chair while people fuck with their hair and makeup?) it occurred to me that a lot of commenters here have either not watched RHOBH from the beginning, or see every season in isolation from the previous ones. Others just pick their pony ( or mini-horse or swan) whenever they began watching and defend that person to the death. I do not understand this viewing method as it is just not how life works in general with a group of women, and it certainly isn’t things evolve on reality shows. In any group of women, in a sorority, in the junior league, in an office setting, friendships change and develop and are influenced by the introduction of new members and the departure of old ones. On reality TV people come in one way on their first season and can be a completely different person on their second season. Kenya Moore came in batshit crazy and then toned it down for season two. Thus I hated her season one and have enjoyed her more and Moore as the season’s progress. Camille Grammar season one was not the same Camille Grammar we had in season two. Those are extreme examples, but in general you never see the season one personality of anyone by the second season. The longer people are on, the more they understand the game.
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Entertainment News, Erika Jayne, Joyce Giraud, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong, Thomas V. Girardi, Yolanda Foster
Can someone explain to Andy that he needs to stop trying to sing on live TV? It’s not cute. And I already get the feeling we are going to spend all our time recreating the dinner party from hell, was that in season one? Andy points out that Camille had an estate sale last month and sold the dining room set from the dinner party from hell. (Are you noticing a trend?) Andy and Kyle both claim they wanted to purchase it. I’m guessing Andy’s apartment has to be finished by now (he bought the apartment next to his and blew out some walls). I don’t understand why there hasn’t been an article on it yet. Someone needs to get on that, I want to see if it is still decorated in Adolescent Couture. Camille and Kelsey finally sold off all of their properties. Camille then bought her own retreat in Hawaii.
Camille and Kyle are practically BFFs now. #AnythingIsPossible Today is Kyle and Mauricio’s twentieth anniversary so we get a sweet montage. Mauricio sent a gift for Andy to give Kyle since she would be gone for their anniversary. Kyle says they celebrated early this year. DEAR GOD! He sent GINORMOUS FLAWLESS DIAMOND EARRINGS! Camille and Kyle both gasped. Kyle said these are the earrings that Bella wore at the Lyme Gala when Kyle filmed for RHOBH and she loved them so much. I bet she did. And now they are hers and she is jamming them straight into her ears. Obviously. They are stunning. Continue reading
Okay what fresh hell is this Bravo? Are we really going to have a show about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season One? It appears we are. I’m in. But this had better be good.
Well, we begin straight off with Kim’s alcoholism. On the last day of filming, they were at a huge birthday party for Taylor and Kim was wasted. Apparently, someone from production let Kyle know. Because, it’s apparently Kyle’s job to keep him reasonably sober. Kim stormed off the set drunk and went out to the limo to drink. Kyle went after her and that is when the infamous limo scene went down. Kyle says she just lost it.
Andy didn’t want to do Beverly Hills because they were already doing Orange County. Andy thought they would be too much alike. It all started with Kyle. Kim’s audition tape is all about how Kyle doesn’t think she is good enough. Kim looks 20 years younger. So sad.
Lisa has a signed contract for Giggy. Apparently, this is a real deal. And such a clever way for her to be paid more than the other ladies. Or avoid taxes perhaps. I’m just saying. Lisa also wanted to go by “Pinky” on the show instead of Lisa. The producers told her that Pinky Vanderpump sounded like a bad porn star name and didn’t allow it.
Camille said that she didn’t think Kelsey would want her on the show. Kelsey called production and made sure that RHOBH hired Camille to keep her out of his affair. Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, Entertainment News, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong
This is why elementary school teachers learn to line their kids up by height so school picture day will not look like this. How much did Andy pay for that ill fitting suit?
It’s kind of ironic that some of my favorite people are Brandiloons. It’s even more ironic that my oldest and dearest Brandiloon has a) Given up alcohol for Lent …and stuck with it unlike me and (2) Is claiming she is not going to watch the reunion. I would suggest that she, and all of my sweet, deluded Brandiloon friends avoid reading this recap as well. The Brandiloons seem to all have a deep Anglophile streak so perhaps something interesting is on BBC this evening.
Brandi’s face. It’s just. I can’t believe people pay to have that done. What a dorky opening. Then he starts right away with other peoples questions (He’ down with OPQ). Kim is in Sharknado 3 (sounds like Kathy is calling in favors). Someone wants to know how the most Eileen has ever won on a sports bet. She says she has lost several thousand and won several thousand it all evens out. Good answer for the IRS. BTW When I had a big win in Tunica they bring out the chips in dramatic fashion with guards and then you sign away your taxes and pay them right there. Brandi describes Kenya as very, very, smart, a little bit crazy and evil. Which is of course why Kenya is my spirit animal. Another fun TT fact: Kenya tweeted me about buying furniture in Atlanta last weekend. I’m sure she has no idea that her haters think she pays me to say nice things about her. But that fanned the flames as I knew it would. OTOH, DID I MENTION KENYA MOORE TWEETED ME! #Dead Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Dimitri Charalambopoulos, Eileen Davidson, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
Andy thinks the Dutch boy is hot. He also thinks that Brandi’s slap was playful. He probably should not rely to heavily on his thinking.
Andy brings up the drama about the Palm Springs house. Because, why not. Andy says that Adrienne is such a sensitive caring person Andy says the sisters had not spoken in four months until the reunion. That’s because Kingsley mauled Kyle’s kid and put her in the hospital! What is wrong with Andrew tonight?
Taylor claims to be very close with Kyle and so she is very upset with Kim. Camille says that Brandi should not be in between the two sisters. Continue reading
We begin with Yolanda’s scavenger hunt. I assume that is one of her shakes from home she is drinking? I wonder what is in there! Camille Grammer shows up for the race! Yolanda claims she did not make up the teams. No one wants to be on Brandi’s team (except Kim). The scavenger hunt is done by a company who puts these thins on for corporate team bonding. It requires problem solving and teamwork. Kim is bitching about it already and they haven’t even started yet. This reminds me of the time we all had to stand in a circle in the parking lot of the school and throw a giant dead fish at someone in the parking lot and give them a compliment. I hate that shit. But this seems fun. I like scavenger hunts and keep wanting to go geocaching. But that would require leaving you fucknuts unsupervised.
Anyway, no time for fascinating personal stories, I have a Jodi Arias blog to get back to. Let’s get this recap up and done! Kyle is captain of Team #1 ( Brandi & Camille) Eileen is captain of Team #2 ( Kim and Lynn) and Yo is captain of Team #3 ( Lisa & Lisa) they select teams by random draw. Clearly this was not random at all and Team Three will win.
Team #1 has all the stupid people except Kim. They can’t finish the first task. Eileen is handicapped by Kim. I don’t know who this random Lyn person is. Am I supposed to? Actually, Team #3 is dumber than I expected. Eileen may have to win this despite her two person handicap. Yolanda sucks at cooperating with her own team. Kim is even worse.
At the finish line all the cheating comes out. Eileen’s team basically won for not cheating. The entire scavenger hunt took less than four minutes. They made it seem like it was all day event. In Brandi’s talking head she says there is nothing Kyle can say to make up for what she has said to her. Really? That’s hilarious. Production kicks Camille and Lynn out so that serious fake filming can begin. Yolanda announces that everyone is going to Amsterdam. Brandi says that they can smoke pot. Vanderpump and Rinna want to do it too. Brandi says “It’s amazing there’s hookers and windows!” While I did walk through the red light district with my parents as a kid, (what were they going to do with me?) I was more traumatized by the Anne Frank House and the Dutch boy who my parents and his parents made us take a picture together. #ChildhoodTrauma
Why would Yolanda have a man on standby to run out and fix the dishwasher but no maid in sight to load the dishwasher? She’s rich, and deathly ill! Two fabulous excuses not to lift a finger! Yolanda explains that the Dutch are assholes. You would know this if you had ever been to Holland, or even Curacao. I still think Germans are worse. Continue reading
Filed under Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Eileen Davidson, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster