Seriously? They are going to do blondes versus brunettes? Just ridiculous.
Every time we have one of the shows I begin by predicting there will be NO secrets revealed. But lord knows this time there are some juicy one out there. I wonder if it was too late to edit this episode since Kim was arrested?
Lisa Rinna wrote a sex book called The Big Fun Sexy Sex Book. Apparently, Lisa used to have a sex expert come over to parties and teach the party goers how to give really good blow jobs. LVP points out she doesn’t need any tips in that area. They also replay the scene where Rinna talks about doing Playboy when she was seven months pregnant and when she was not pregnant.
Yolanda claims she is looking to downsize because the house is just too much work. It is odd that the Fosters put pretty much every property they have on the market at the same time. Mauricio takes her to look at properties but she doesn’t like any of them.
Kim and LVP both want grandchildren. And we see LVP in JEANS. JEANS! Have we ever seen that before? Continue reading
Okay, I am going to need to break this latest TMZ article about Kim Richards down. TMZ has the best sources on the Internet. But no sources are infallible, and in this case there are factually incorrect statements and some crazy opinions. That tends to happen when Brandi Glanville is your source. So please allow me to get out my purple pen. All the quoted material comes form TMZ.
“Kim Richards just broke from stress when she was arrested early Thursday at the swanky Beverly Hills Hotel. Sources very close to Kim as well as sources connected with “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” tell TMZ, she was unable to cope with some pretty terrible things going on in her life”
Kim was not sober when she was on RHOBH this season. Her lack of sobriety, sober coach, recovery program, and denial she was struggling with her sobriety was her entire storyline. There was no “break” at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Sources very close to Kim and RHOBH would be Brandi. This is become even more evident later. Brandi is once again excusing Kim’s behavior. Continue reading
Here we go. The final RHOBH Reunion episode. We start with all the discussion of vaginas and such. I just don’t know women who talk about vaginas all the time.
Andy goes straight to the texts from Lisa to Kim. One says ” Be very careful or I will fuck you up! You be nice to your sister! You believe her and stop telling lies! In that order. Thanks.” The next one says, “You need to get wise. Brandi is not telling the truth. She is lying. I should have said that to you in that moment, but I didn’t want another Amsterdam to happen, and it would have.” A third says, “Your behavior and the way you treat people is not okay. You are nasty and you need to be stopped now.” As she is reading these, Rinna is giving Kim a look that could kill. Kim said she really got frightened. Oh please. A fifth grader could break Rinna in half like a twig.
Andy asks what made Rinna send the texts. Rinna says that she has an issue with people shushing her. And she wanted to get her feelings out. Her father used to shush her all the time. It’s one of her hot buttons. Kim says she thinks Lisa Rinna probably has record for violent crime. Andy finally sticks up for Rinna. FINALLY. Rinna is crying which is the perfect excuse for Eileen to flee the left couch for the right on. She also sticks up for Rinna. Rinna apologizes to Kim AGAIN. Oddly, after mocking Rinna for a full three minutes. Kim gets up and walks over to hug Rinna. We are already at full bore crazy. Continue reading
It’s a sunny day in Southern Cali, and I’m having fun hanging with my BFF Darrin. It’s our birthday shopping day, which is always fun.
You know who refers to L.A. as “Southern Cali?” Someone from New Orleans. Apparently, when the boys are on spring break with Eddie and Leann, there is no need for an ode to the two little spawn for public relations purposes. Also, stop trying to make Bravoistas work.
Argh, the reunion. What is there to say? It was as fun for me to endure then as it was for me to relive a second time for you all. Ha, clearly I’m kidding! Watching it unfold as opposed to experiencing it only makes me wish I had a second chance to ignore those who didn’t deserve an answer. I’m combative by nature but tired of the game.
I see we have given up even the smallest attempt at writing in the voice of a drunken 40 something with the IQ of a parasitic nematode. Continue reading
We start this episode with Andy asking a stupid question. Raise your hand if you are shocked. I see no hands. He asks Eileen why such an awarding winning actress would do RHOBH. Um, Andy, you pay these hyenas way more than actual trained actors make. Which by the way is the whole OPPOSITE of the point of doing reality TV shows. They are supposed to work for peanuts.
They play a montage that is heavy on the fact that Eileen has an Emmy. Both Kim and Brandi are throwing up a little bit in their mouths. THIS is what jealousy looks like. A viewer ask, “You were a fan of Eileen before the show, what do you think of her without a script.” Brandi says, “I don’t really think of her.” You know except for every waking moment. Eileen was said she thought Brandi was funny when they first met and then the wine toss just put a kink in things. Eileen says that there were many ramifications about Brandi’s comments about her being a homewrecker. People started calling Vince’s ex-wife trying to get tabloid stories. She had to have unpleasant conversations with her children. Brandi seems incredulous that her behavior had ramifications for Eileen. Brandi says it was always already on the Internet. Eileen says that she is great friends with Vince’s ex-wife. Eileen tells Brandi to shut the fuck up. They exchange several rounds of fuck yous! Eileen is on the verge of tears. Brandi looks awful and not just on the exterior. Brandi goes in on LVP about being friends with Kyle. Lisa Rinna and Brandi are arguing at a decibel only dogs can hear. Rinna freaks out and says that Brandi needs to be shut down. Brandi says Rinna needs to change her Depends because she is so full of shit. This is too much to give you all the blow by blows but it is bang away on Brandi time and not in the way she is used to. Rinna says fuck you (that is two housewives to tell her that within five minutes.) Brandi makes another Depends jab and Rinna responds with, “Where is your tampon endorsement!” I die. Continue reading
Hey, y’all sorry for the delay, I’ve been a bit under the weather the past few days. Most of it self-inflicted due to my terrible choices in diet and exercise lately and not taking my supplements. I am trying to get back on the good foot. I need a supplement that makes you want to exercise and take your supplements. Anyway, several of you are emailing me about Brandi’s blog this week so I shall whip out my trusty purple pen and take a look. It’s in the plan to recap Real Housewives of Melbourne tonight. But I am exhausted from a day in THE WORLD and if this coffee doesn’t kick in, the narcolepsy may win out. :)
First I snipped the weird “I am a great mother” crap from the beginning and the end of this blog. Kristine seems very fixated on making sure we all know that Brandi boys groceries for the boys. Seriously. As if this is a mother of the year move. Continue reading
This is why elementary school teachers learn to line their kids up by height so school picture day will not look like this. How much did Andy pay for that ill fitting suit?
It’s kind of ironic that some of my favorite people are Brandiloons. It’s even more ironic that my oldest and dearest Brandiloon has a) Given up alcohol for Lent …and stuck with it unlike me and (2) Is claiming she is not going to watch the reunion. I would suggest that she, and all of my sweet, deluded Brandiloon friends avoid reading this recap as well. The Brandiloons seem to all have a deep Anglophile streak so perhaps something interesting is on BBC this evening.
Brandi’s face. It’s just. I can’t believe people pay to have that done. What a dorky opening. Then he starts right away with other peoples questions (He’ down with OPQ). Kim is in Sharknado 3 (sounds like Kathy is calling in favors). Someone wants to know how the most Eileen has ever won on a sports bet. She says she has lost several thousand and won several thousand it all evens out. Good answer for the IRS. BTW When I had a big win in Tunica they bring out the chips in dramatic fashion with guards and then you sign away your taxes and pay them right there. Brandi describes Kenya as very, very, smart, a little bit crazy and evil. Which is of course why Kenya is my spirit animal. Another fun TT fact: Kenya tweeted me about buying furniture in Atlanta last weekend. I’m sure she has no idea that her haters think she pays me to say nice things about her. But that fanned the flames as I knew it would. OTOH, DID I MENTION KENYA MOORE TWEETED ME! #Dead Continue reading
Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Dimitri Charalambopoulos, Eileen Davidson, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Russell Armstrong, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster
I don’t understand why Brandi is there. They could have had someone from Southern Charm. Or anyone else on the planet for that matter. Oh Andy says it’s because the RHOBH finale is tomorrow. Andy asks Brandi if she has ever met Mike. She replies that Mike just tried to have sex with her in the back. Mike says, “Believe me, you and Golnesa would say yes.” Frankly, I’m surprised Brandi has not already offered. But we are only 30 seconds in. Brandi says she watched all the Shah’s shows on the plane over.
Andy asks her about the mask she Tweeted herself wearing on the plane and she acted like she did not want to discuss it because she was not being paid. #SMH She seems to think she is Oprah Winfrey or someone. So I googled and it’s an “illumask” a $30 product from Ulta Beauty Supply that is a light therapy treatment for acne and acne scars. When Andy asks if it does something to your skin, she says, “Yes, it’s for helping you sleep!” Oh Brandi. You have never been a good liar.
Brandi has new hair. It’s longer and less hay like. During the first game Brandi points out that she thinks Kenya and Apollo worked together on that whole storyline about them trying to get with each other. She bases this on the fact that Apollo is just too dumb. Well, she’s right about that part at least.
Andy is being nice to Brandi. #cuts
Andy plays a clip from the reunion where he says to Brandi, ” Sometimes you are playing and you just take it a step too far.” Brandi responds with “No, that’s bullshit. I’ve taken enough abuse since I have been here, I’m not taking it from you too.” Andy says that Brandi was really pissed at him over that comment. Um, really? That was your super mean girl move with Brandi, Andrew? That has been said by pretty much every sane person who watches the show for several seasons now. Oh God. Brandi says she leaves the reunion feeling vindicated. I am starting to want to cut. I’ve never been a cutter before, but this seems like a good time to start because YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! This is like when my ex tells me he is going to get counseling for his anger problems toward all the multitudes of women in his life (including a wife, btw) and he swears the therapist told him he was too selfless and needed to be more concerned with his own happiness and should try and find a new girl friend (to add to the list?). One can only hope that both Brandi and the ex are equally delusional about what happened at the reunion, and individual therapy respectively. Continue reading
Seriously? They are going to do blondes versus brunettes? Just ridiculous.
Is this the oddest seating arrangement ever? Since when is LVP not sitting to Andy’s right in the first position? How did Eileen get stuck on the loser side?
Super emotional. It was dramatic. There was an eleventh hour smoking gun that was revealed. It was amazing! Interesting to mention that the notes on Andy’s performance was that he laughed so much and they had to cut a lot of him laughing out of the show.
Eileen’s dress is awful, as is Brandi’s both for the same reason, the strapless top doesn’t fit them properly and Brandi looks like she is wearing shapewear without the dress on top. Lisa Rinna easily wins best dressed with Kyle and Kim also looking lovely. I wish LVP would stop with the pinky, purple lace table cloth things. They make her look matronly.
Click through for a recap….
Filed under Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster
Banjo was up all night with some sort of tummy issue or something I thought I might have to take him in, then the asshole with the leaf blower showed up a couple houses over shortly after 8 am, and I felt the need to guzzle a ton of beer and have a meltdown last night (I feel much better now. Sometimes you just need to let it all hang out). So a midday nap went long and somehow this day has sped by me. However, I was informed that my purple pen was needed because Brandi’s blog is chock full of crazy. Again. I think I am sort of immune to these blogs. It is clear that she isn’t writing them anymore, and that just makes the stupidity even more stupid.
Nonetheless, I can do this while binge watching season one of Married at First Sight, so let’s do this!
First of all the usual discussion about how much time she is spending with her boys was blathered on about. I am not sure anyone believes that. I do believe that she just now discovered that letting her boys be on the Internet unsupervised was poor thinking on her part. Continue reading