Category Archives: Brandi Glanville

Brandi Glanville Is Profoundly Stupid.

 

RHOBH Stupid People

Brandi’s Blog is up and I am going to run out of purple ink this week. Seriously. Brandi’s loons apparently have her convinced that her behavior is perfectly normal. It’s insane. She will be fine as long as she just reads the one or two sites that write blog posts as if she and Kim are not two embarrassing addicts on a show with comparatively very normal successful people.

Hyperbole: HORRIFIC

Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ”I’ll knock your teeth out” (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the “ladies” of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.

This is an example of hyperbole, Brandi. “Well now, one winter it was so cold that all the geese flew backward and all the fish moved south and even the snow turned blue. Late at night, it got so frigid that all spoken words froze solid afore they could be heard. People had to wait until sunup to find out what folks were talking about the night before.” (Paul Bunyon) See, smart people know that hyperbole is exaggerating a story to draw in an audience.”

This is an example of a threat of bodily harm. “I’ll knock your teeth out.”  In California, criminal threats can be charged whether or not  you  actually intend to execute the threat as a misdemeanor or a felony. Making threats to injure someone is not “hyperbole” if you later say you were just kidding.

As for the ladies pretending to live somewhere, everyone except for you (and possibly Kim) lives in Beverly Hills or Malibu.  You live in the valley in a rental. Continue reading

66 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: I’ll Have What She’s Having

RHOBH lisa lisa eileenOkay I know already this one is going to take awhile. I did no preloading and I didn’t have the First Look on tape.

The Dinner From Hell

Wow, it seems we go straight to dinner! But first Lisa Rinna fills in Eileen and Lisa Vanderpump. Yolanda wants to start the conversation talking about her daughter. Yolanda is trying to get the ladies to open up and talk about real things. Lisa Rinna is weepy. When Lisa was 6 her 21 year old daughter died of a drug and alcohol overdose. Lisa is worried about her own daughters family genetics with alcoholism.  That was one of the deepest producer driven plots to try and get to Kim I think we have ever seen, and clearly it works. Lisa tells Kim she is sorry if she has come off as overly invested in her business. She just has a lot of traumatic history on the subject.t Kim looks at her with an evil, dismissive face.

Kim begins to go in on Lisa and say that she has been sober for three years and in three years her friends and family have never seen her like that. Lisa says she has seen her like that. Kim says that Lisa has gone around to everyone to discuss her. Kim shakes her finger at Eileen’s face and says. “you too! you too!” Eileen calmly tells Kim not to point her finger at her. Lisa says she is concerned about her.

Kim says she is concerned about Lisa and her situation at home. Eileen steps in to defend Lisa and Kim is jabbing her finger toward Eileen saying, “Shut your fucking mouth! I’ve had enough of you, you beast!”  Kyle is already crying. Kim is pissed that Kyle didn’t defend her on the plane to Lisa. Kim makes fun of how Kyle curled up in a little ball in her plane seat. Kim starts in on Kyle saying that Brandi defends her more than Kyle does. Then she tells Kyle that Kathy would never act like this, she would have her back like a real sister. Lisa Rinna tells Kim that it is not okay to talk to people like that. Kim says “Oh really, why don’t you have a piece of bread and maybe you’ll calm down a little.” That’s interesting. I thought that Kim didn’t remember anything about the Poker Party night. Yet, she remembers being told to eat something to try and get her sobered up. Continue reading

444 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Who is More Hilarious? Brandi Glanville? Or Her Ghost Writer “K.H.”?

 

RHOBH Brandi tosses wine on Eileen

So a funny thing is going on with Brandi Glanville, allegedly. We all noticed she had a ghost writer who had some writing issues over the past few weeks. I hope she is not paying her. Despite claiming to have a Master’s in “English & Writing” she seems to have missed the classes on punctuation adjacent to quotations.  I know I hate quotations more than anything in the world because of all the punctuation involved. It is the worst part of covering WWHL and some trials. It’s tedious and slows down my ability to get things up in a hurry.  But if I were putting someone else’s name on my writing, I’d make the extra effort.

So this person is also writing blog entries as a small gossip site using a pseudonym, “K.H.”  She has written five articles for the site since beginning her Brandi campaign 11 days ago.  Coincidently, all of her Brandi posts have people commenting with things like  “This is the fairest article!”  “This is the truest article!”  “This is an accurate article”  “Well thought out article!”  “Excellent article!” It’s hysterical.  The only comments not written by the author are slam the stupidity of the posts.

The post themselves are 1,000 word essays on Brandi’s “brand” and all of her accomplishments and how the other RHOBH have nothing going on and the show would be cancelled if she left. HILARIOUS stuff.  Brandi is getting a bad edit. The other ladies are jealous.  Lisa Rinna doesn’t know enough about Kim to call her an addict. You know, the same shit  from Brandi’s blogs.

Anyway, someone sent me the link and the more I pay attention to it the funnier it gets. Clearly, I’m not interested in sending the site any traffic. You’ll just have to trust me that it is funny. Continue reading

85 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: “Welcome to Amsterdam?”

RHOBH Scavenger hunt

Photo: Twitter

 

We begin with Yolanda’s scavenger hunt. I assume that is one of her shakes from home she is drinking? I wonder what is in there!  Camille Grammer shows up for the race! Yolanda claims she did not make up the teams. No one wants to be on Brandi’s team (except Kim).  The scavenger hunt is done by a company who puts these thins on for corporate team bonding. It requires problem solving and teamwork. Kim is bitching about it already and they haven’t even started yet. This reminds me of the time we all had to stand in a circle in the parking lot of the school and throw a giant dead fish at someone in the parking lot and give them a compliment. I hate that shit. But this seems fun. I like scavenger hunts and keep wanting to go geocaching. But that would require leaving you fucknuts unsupervised.

Anyway, no time for fascinating personal stories, I have a Jodi Arias blog to get back to. Let’s get this recap up and done!  Kyle is captain of Team #1 (  Brandi & Camille)  Eileen is captain of Team #2  ( Kim and Lynn)  and Yo is captain of Team #3 ( Lisa & Lisa)  they select teams by random draw.  Clearly this was not random at all and Team Three will win.

Team #1 has all the stupid people except Kim. They can’t finish the first task.  Eileen is handicapped by Kim. I don’t know who this random Lyn person is. Am I supposed to? Actually, Team #3 is dumber than I expected. Eileen may have to win this despite her two person handicap. Yolanda sucks at cooperating with her own team. Kim is even worse.

At the finish line all the cheating comes out. Eileen’s team basically won for not cheating. The entire scavenger hunt took less than four minutes. They made it seem like it was all day event.  In Brandi’s talking head she says there is nothing Kyle can say to make up for what she has said to her. Really? That’s hilarious.  Production kicks Camille and Lynn out so that serious fake filming can begin. Yolanda announces that everyone is going to Amsterdam. Brandi says that they can smoke pot. Vanderpump and Rinna want to do it too. Brandi says “It’s amazing there’s hookers and windows!”  While I did walk through the red light district with my parents as a kid, (what were they going to do with me?) I was more traumatized by the Anne Frank House and the Dutch boy who my parents and his parents made us take a picture together. #ChildhoodTrauma

Why would Yolanda have a man on standby to run out and fix the dishwasher but no maid in sight to load the dishwasher? She’s rich, and deathly ill! Two fabulous excuses not to lift a finger!  Yolanda explains that the Dutch are assholes. You would know this if you had ever been to Holland, or even Curacao. I still think Germans are worse. Continue reading

302 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Eileen Davidson, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Brandi Does a Profanity Laced Rap On Steve Harvey Show

Four months ago, Brandi Glanville was flashing her lady parts and acting like a whore on Steve Harvey and he saw a ratings draw so he had invited her back to be her trashy, classless self once again. The video about is just a taste of what you missed. A lot of this is as put on as the vocal fry so popular in Southern California. I get that. But why would a mother go on TV and act like a whore with no filter over and over and over again. I’m starting to think LeAnn doesn’t even want those boys. Which is sad because someone needs to raise them.

Last time that Brandi was there, Steve would not let her date either of the men she picked. He is back to try again. Did you know Brandi has an app where you can block yourself from contacting certain people when you are drinking? I need an app that keeps me from drunk emailing. Can someone get me one of those? We should be safe until Easter for that.

They talk about Celebrity Apprentice Steve asks if they have made up. Brandi says, “No, but I think you need to set her up because she needs love more than anyone I’ve ever met in my life!” Steve says she fought with everybody this season on RHOBH, he wants to know why?  She says, ” They fought with me! I think they all sit around pretending to be perfect and it’s an easy bandwagon to jump on so they come after me and I fight back! ”  Brandi needs to sell T-Shirts that say “It wasn’t me!”  Continue reading

46 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

News From the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion

Andy RHOBH reunion

 

The RHOBH reunion was filmed on Friday. By all accounts it was a ten-hour ordeal for the gang.  Andy said it was the most intense RHOBH reunion in five seasons and that wore him out.  It seems he placated the Pump though as sources indicate that Lisa was not the victim this season and became quite aggressive with Brandi. Eileen and Lisa Rinna went hard on Brandi as well.  Eileen was mostly composed but not particularly reserved when it came time to go toe to toe with Brandi.  Brandi’s own twitter account says that she pissed off “everybody.” Her fans were delighted by the news.

Despite much online chatter about whether or not Yolanda’s health would allow her to attend, there was never any question in my mind that she would. And indeed she did.  She may have gotten a few accommodations with breaks and such, but she was there. Continue reading

88 Comments

Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Brandi Thinks Everyone is Violating Kim’s Privacy…

Brandi At least I'm not doing Chrystal Meth in the Bathroom

Seems like just yesterday…

So next week’s previews showed Lisa Rinna and Brandi chatting about Kim Richards. In this conversation, several innuendos are made. It seems that Brandi is saying that Kim is constantly high on Fentanyl from a patch she is swiping from Monty and  according to Brandi, Kim is suicidal.

So now what? Clearly, Lisa and Eileen decide to forge ahead with some sort of intervention. We all know that doesn’t go well. What I am dying to see is how Brandi comes out of the situation smelling like a rose with regard to Kim. Does Brandi lie to Kim about what she told Lisa?

After the failed intervention, can we go back to some other storyline? We get it. Brandi is a wino. Kim is an addict.  Will we at least be able to enjoy the Amsterdam episodes in peace? Can we maybe focus on the city and see the sites instead of forcing Kyle to argue with Kim on camera some more? I’m not holding my breath. Continue reading

38 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap:

RHOBH Brandi Yolanda Sister Act

Yolanda Foster

Brandi drops by her dear friend Yolanda’s house just like she didn’t just call her daughter an alcoholic on her last visit.  Yolanda has Brandi doing a 21 day cleanse so that she can prove to the other girls that she doesn’t have a drinking problem. That will prove nothing. She is basically doing my Lent plan!  I love how Yolanda has to tell the yoga instructor she has had no sugar and no alcohol. He seems to care not at all. I wonder if these yoga scenes are being aired out of order.

Yolanda is organizing a scavenger hunt all over Beverly Hills. It sounds like so much fun. I love stuff like that.

Brandi Glanville

Ken is planning a surprise birthday party for Lisa. He calls Brandi to invite her but requests that she be on her best behavior. Brandi is offended. Because, Brandi.

RHOBH Lisa  Pump Table Read

Eileen Davidson

Eileen and Vince are eating dinner at an outdoor table at a restaurant with the magnificent looking salads and seared scallops. I want to go there! Eileen ordered pasta!  I don’t think it ever touched her lips but she twirled it around a lot. Of course the topic is…Kim. Because clearly that is all they are going to talk about this season. It’s such a waste of Eileen and Lisa Rinna. They have so much going on in their lives that I was hoping to see. It looks like Vince has written a new script and they have invited all of the lades over to …I’m not sure. Do a reading? Surely they are not auditioning. Am I the only one looking for Eileen’s nipples in the talking head with her green lace top? I guess there is a nude underlining.

Everyone except Brandi is invited to the table read. Kim tells Kyle on the way to Eileen’s that she thinks Eileen overstepped her bounds bringing them together to talk. Kyle is worried about Brandi hurting Kim. The two Lisas chat on the way to Eileen’s house.  Rinna wants to confront Kim and Vanderpump says she has tried that and we don’t know what is really going on. Vanderpump wants to stay out of it.

At the party, Vince chats up Kim and asks about her most famous co-workers as a child. Vince is so good with these women. Except he doesn’t give Rinna a role, he makes her the announcer. Vanderpump wants to change roles with Rinna. In the talking head Vanderpump makes it clear she is unhappy with her part because it only has two lines. On the vanity of these ladies. Anyway, the script reading went well I suppose because the footage was short and everyone was sober.  Oh wait there is another scene where Vanderpump demands to hold Eileen’s Emmy and she graciously lets her.

The Lisa and Eileen are talking about Rinna’s lunch with Brandi last week and Kim stumbles into the conversation. Kim talks about wanting to have her friend and her sister. /eyeroll Kyle looks 20 years younger on the episode. Seriously. She looks beautiful and almost like she has work done or gotten a really good facial. Mabye it’s just that she is not wearing much makeup at all. She’s really quite pretty. Vanderpump and Rinna are trying really hard to be supportive of Kim. They are offering her help and suggesting she stay in touch with someone on a daily basis and she totally blows them off.

OMG! OMG! REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MELBOURNE STARTS MARCH 5TH ON THURSDAY NIGHTS AT 9 PM! YAAAAAAS!

RHOBH Lisa Pump Surprise

Lisa Vanderpump

Kyle goes to see Lisa about Kim.  Kyle is worried that Kim is revealing too much personal information to Brandi. Brandi has quite the history of stabbing people  in the back  with information they have shared. Lisa says that Kim treats Kyle like shit because they will always be sisters. But with Brandi she has to cultivate the friendship.

Vanderpump’s birthday party is at Pump. Vince and Eileen arrive first and hit the bar. I love this couple. Vince is just so fine with whatever. Rinna comes next and both Rinna and Eileen are in pink.  Because, Pinkie.

Brandi is in the car with her gay roommate and Kim and Kathy Hilton. Brandi is telling Kathy Hilton about the new girls. She has nothing but bad things to say about them. Because, Jealous. Brandi says that she did throw wine in Eileen’s face “on accident.”  Lisa’s gay (shut up)  Lance Bass was there and Mohammed and his current chick. Brandi is correct that Mohammed’s toast is creepy. Vanderpump challenges Brandi to sing her a song about how sorry she is. And Brandi does. Brandi also looks prettier than usual tonight. Maybe production is just giving everyone good lighting. I’ve paused at Kyles talking head and she looks no where near as pretty as they do on the actual show.  Everyone sings. Well no one can really sing except Lisa Rinna. She sounded pretty good. Eileen stayed in her seat like a dignified woman. Or else she was home fucking Vince by then.  Either way. Smart move. Brandi mocked the girls having fun together as the” menopausal women.” Oh Brandi, your time is so much closer than you think and karma is a bitch.

Lisa and Brandi pretend to steal the center pieces. That’s an interesting duo. I would totally walk out with a centerpiece. I’ve been know to do it at weddings. Particularly, if I did the floral arrangements….Ken bought Lisa the pink ring she wanted. At a steep discount with the Bravo promotion.

Eileen approaches Kyle about Kim. It’s not really her place. Eileen wants to know if she has a sponsor. Kyle says in her talking head that she knows that the new girls

Next Week: David Foster has a cool charity event and it looks like the ladies go via his private jet. Yolanda’s scavenger hunt happens. Kim goes off on Lisa Rinna. And the ladies go to Amsterdam! I love a good European vacation episode!

161 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Lisa Rinna Thinks Everyone Needs To Acknowledge Kim’s Situation

RHOBH lisa and Kimberly

Lisa Rinna wants everyone to take a strong stance when it comes to Kim Richards and start calling her out on her relapse and hold her responsible for her behavior. Not a bad idea but I think Lisa might be biting off more than she can chew. This is an issue that has been going on for a long time and I don’t think she has a magic wand to wave.  What is that saying about the road to hell? Her intentions are good but I think she will regret them.

Here are a few excerpts from her blog. You can read the whole thing here.

Can we all just start off by taking a collective deep breath and really let this episode sink in? There is just so much going on with intense emotions and feelings that are being felt on a really, really deep level. Too bad all two million of us can’t meet at Yolanda’s gorgeous pool for some mind clearing yoga, right?

The end of Kyle’s gay mixer was full of tears and conversations filled with questions that began with the word WHY. Why do certain people behave a certain way? Why is it OK to say certain things to someone else? Why do we all keep letting this happen? There are just so many unanswered questions, and for Eileen and me to be the new girls on the block, we really have these questions just waiting to come from our lips. Continue reading

82 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Brandi Glanville Says Nothing Is Her Fault!

RHOBH Brandi Kyle Kim

I might as well go ahead and get the other delusional RHOBH blog out of the way. I’m starting to notice a trend. Try not to overdose on all the projecting and deflecting and denying. I’m going in.

Seems every time I write a blog for my Housewives fans, (LOL) I’m in another city and in another hotel. Tonight it’s Chicago, last week New York, next week New York again. All I can say is that I’m lucky to be busy working, however, I do wish I were home with my boys. But, as you know, Mama’s gotta work.

That’s okay. I bet they are much happier with LuAnn and Eddie. Continue reading

75 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

Kim Richards Says Nothing Is Her Fault!

Kim Richard's Twitter

Kim Richard’s Twitter

You know, Kim Richards could learn a thing or two from Nene Leakes and just stop blogging. The more she tries to explain herself the worse she ends up looking.  I’m going to comment throughout her blog in purple because there is just so much wrong with what she wrote

Sorry, I’ve been MIA on the blog. I was on a much-needed vacation, but I’m glad to be back!

Sadly, after reading this blog, it clearly was not rehab, or even some sort of NA group.

This episode was a hard one to revisit, because of the whole me-Brandi-Kyle situation.

There is not you, Brandi and Kyle situation. There is a you and Brandi situation and a you and Kyle situation. The problem in both situations is you. Continue reading

138 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

Brandi Glanville Thinks She is Lisa Vanderpump…

Drunk Brandi

Brandi Glanville recently sold a story to In Touch magazine claiming she isn’t sure if she wants to return to RHOBH.  This is some shit that Lisa Vanderpump pulls every hiatus BECAUSE SHE IS LISA VANDERPUMP!

I don’t know if Brandi sees the writing on the Bravo wall after pissing off Andy Cohen, or if she realizes she is in danger of losing her kids,  but the gypsy mother who has been unable to provide a stable home or school system for her kids is acting like she can afford to lose her only paycheck.  You know, while selling a story for a few hundred bucks to a tabloid.

Click through to see what she said…Shocker…it’s about LeAnn, who is likely to be a full time mom soon if Brandi doesn’t go to rehab… Continue reading

125 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH