It’s been a few days since we have discussed a housewife’s vagina in detail; but sadly, it’s time to do just that once again. There are updates in the infamous Joanna Krupa’s vagina smells like fish controversy. I can never write about this without stating that this is the most ridiculous case ever filed by a housewife. If Joanna was so butthurt by a random comment on a late night cable show with a minimal following, she would have just ignored it. Instead she is parading around the courtroom in Miami screaming about her vagina for all who will listen. Anyway, there are new developments. We know are privy to the depositions of both Lisa Vanderpump and her buddy Mohammed Hadid. Both of them have had their share of lawsuits of their own.
According to an exclusive story by Daily Mail, both Lisa Vanderpump and Mohammed Hadid denied ever discussing Johanna Krupa’s vagina. And hey! If you can’t trust those two, who can you trust? #eyeroll
Click through for highlights of the depositions. Or lowlights as the case may be.
My friend, Jacques recapped a recent Andy’s Girls Podcast interview of Brandi Glanville. She has some interesting things to say about Lisa Vanderpump. Jacques is in my collections of gays AND my collection of Aussies. Read his thoughts below and click the link to follow him on Twitter!
On LVP being manipulative: “Our friendship quickly turned into constant strategizing.”
“Kyle had been saying it for years but no one wanted to believe her, she was calling her Bobby Fisher. Then Lisa and I became friends, and that friendship quickly turned into contstant strategizing. It was exhausting to be honest. We couldn’t just go to dinner. It was dinner and “Let’s talk about the show.” “Let’s talk about what’s going to happen next.” Almost planning everything, and I was like “Oh my god, this is not how I roll.” Because I can’t plan what comes out of my mouth, and that’s the truth. I wish I could because I would not be in the lawsuits that I’m in!”
On LVP always bouncing back: “She can get away with murder.”
“I was kind of relieved to see that the other women saw what I saw [last season], but at the same time, Lisa’s like a cat — she will always land on her feet. She’s not gonna go down. For some reason, the audience just loves her so much. I always say that she could BBQ a baby, and people would say “Oh, but she loves dogs!” She can get away with murder and do it with an accent and a smile. But I’m telling you, the girls that crossed her, she will come for them next season. And not just on the show; she will try to ruin their entire lives.”
Brandi Glanville is paying out a lot of money for the attorney handling her defense of Joanna Krupa’s law suit. Her attorney, Susan Warner has been very busy lately. A few weeks ago, I read that Brandi was asking for tax returns for the last five years or so from Joanna. The purpose of this is to prove that she was a legal resident of Florida at the time she filed her suit in January of 2015. Joanna seemed to live in Miami during her time on Real Housewives of Miami but has always maintained a home in Beverly Hills. If it turns out she is a California resident, the Miami case could be dismissed and the whole thing would be refiled in Beverly Hills. I never heard what happened with that request. I do know that Brandi and Joanna bump into each other from time to time. There is a new request now by Brandi’s attorney that will be heard next week in a Miami courtroom. Maybe the IRS request will be ruled on at the same time.
According the Miami Herald’s Jose Lambiet, the new request that will be heard next Monday is a request for her medical records all the back to 2000. Brandi’s daughter is fishing (see what I did there?) for any medical conditions that could cause an unpleasant vaginal odor. Basically, Brandi’s attorney is looking for credible evidence to back up the comment that Brandi said that Mohammed Hadid told her on Watch What Happens Live.
We start this week with Calum bringing a lovely bouquet of flowers to Brandi because it is her birthday. He was a bit in the dog house with her because he got drunk and jealous at the mixer last week . It looks like a Brandicentric episode this week, and frankly that is the only reason I watch this show.
Speaking of Brandi, she has been losing her mind on her Instagram. It seems she was alone for the Fourth and that made her pissed at one of her fuckbuddies. She doesn’t seem to understand how that whole thing works. Anyway she was singing and drinking her urine colored wine and posting half nekkid photos of herself. It was all very tragic. It makes me feel better about my little sappy emails over the weekend. But we shan’t talk about that.
I don’t understand why people in LA are obsessed with wearing winter knit caps all year round.
I can’t believe I am actually watching this show, let alone recapping it, but I am intrigued by the Brandi Glanville we see on this show. We start with Jessica reading cards for Aubrey. It’s not a traditional reading though. Basically, she is just looking for confirmation that her ex is miserable. I’m going to assume he is thrilled to bits to be away from this bitch.
The group is about sex this week. I don’t believe anything the guys said. Brandi says she has friends with benefits. She doesn’t really get attached to them. Paulie has never been in love or made love. He really wants a real relationship. Sadly, he ends up hooking up with Aubrey. Paulie does say he feels used having sex with all his groupies.
The exercise this week is to throw a house party. They are supposed to invite single friends that their cast mates might like. Aubrey has no friends. Aubrey is already making her moves on Paulie. Calum has eyes on Brandi. Josh is super picky. He wants to approve the female friends before they are invited. Somaya’s friends are the same way.
This week it’s Calum’s turn to meet with Dr. Darcy. His father was a very famous pro soccer player who was an alcoholic. His dad had cirrhosis of the liver and got a liver transplant. He continued to drink on the new liver and died of organ failure. Calum gets very emotional telling the story. After his father died when he was 24 he spent three years drinking hard and sleeping with women. Calum realized in his session that the drinking and womanizing was subconsciously him trying to connect to his father.
Yesterday was a very busy (and record breaking) day on Tamaratattles.com and last night as I was trying to wind down I happened to notice an old post from 2012 trending. Apparently, there was a late night insurgence of people Googling the phrase, “I Hate Audrey O’Day” so let me type it again to attract more like minded individuals. And that is why recapping this episode suddenly surged in priority to ASAP, which is now. Unfortunately, I was out renewing my car tags and getting emissions tests and going into a gas station swarming with cops most of the day followed by sibling phone catchups. So I’m here now, and I’m on it!
Oh this will be good. I had forgotten that we left off with the lab rats about to be confronted by under cover dating coaches who witnessed their crappy behavior in the club the night before. You must read about that! This should be gooood.
The hot guy that Aubrey blew off mid-conversation was kind to her but told her that common courtesy requires some sort of “good bye” or “it was nice to meet you.” Aubrey finds this to be unnecessary.
Willis actually asked the female dating coach to join him in the bathroom of the club for sex within seconds of talking to her.
Calum seems to have charmed the dating coach when the cameras were off but as soon as the cameras were on he immediately said, ” I don’t have to explain anything to you!” and walked off. Normally, I would think the guys would turn ON the charm for the cameras. But this makes me think he has a girlfriend and doesn’t want to get caught picking someone up in a bar.