I started this post writing about what is wrong with Real Housewives of Atlanta and how it has jumped the shark. I thought about how it could be fixed. How to save the franchise. I thought about how to make it more interesting, ways to make it better. But, very quickly in, I was reminded that we shouldn’t be watching this crap at all. Seriously. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? But first, here is what I thought we should do back when I was still drinking the Kool-Aid. At the end I will link you back to my thoughts three years ago, before the crazy came.
There are too many women on this show. I have said this forever, when there are more than five housewives, it’s hard to get into any of their storylines. Hell, we don’t even notice anymore when Nene is not on at all.
There is was too much recapping of the previous episode. We get it the wives told their husband about the previous week’s forced dinner where someone was a cunt. The wives who weren’t in some scenes the previous week were filled in on what happened. We don’t need the first 25% of the show to be a recap. That’s what I am for. Continue reading
Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo Andy, Bravo Housewives Disorder, Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Entertainment News, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker
LOL We start with Apollo’s video he posted from the prison where he says he is about to “go asunder,” which always makes me wonder what he thought that meant during his wedding vows. And it ends with “you will be hearing from me shortly,” as if he thought he was going to do a podcast from prison or something. They really are milking this prison shit.
ROFLMAO. Phaedra is so full of shit. These fake ass security people. Taking the service elevator. She so wants people to believe there are paparazzi tailing her. Jesus. She has to flag THEM down in LAX. Now she is talking about “the headmaster” (giggles) at the boys school. Wait so she took the boys to school from the hotel with all the security? Jesus. Those boys are in some day care. The rarely go, they are with the baby sitters and the nannies most of the time. All the parents on that cul de sac go to a variety of schools and have tons of get togethers with tons of neighbors in the area. They go to all sorts of private schools. Nary a one has ever seen any spawn of Phaedra at their school. Headmaster. /giggle. This scene is hilarious. Waiting on the elevator by the high voltage door.
I don’t even know When this “return to the house” thing happened. We had another fake “return to the house scene” last week. How many times is she going to “return to the house?” I love the giant Phine Body poster in the living room. Phaedra is such a victim in all of this. She just wants to kill Apollo with her bare hands and then embalm him and cremate him and flush him down the commode. Okay. That’s not sociopathic at all.
Oh look fake scenes of Phaedra pretending she watches her kids.
A hilarious bullshit scene with a ridiculous “apostle” praising Jesus and sprinkling some water on the floor throughout the house occurs. Phaedra’s in her infinite biblical scholarship says that he has performed an exorcism. Lord have mercy this show is stupid tonight. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Kenya Moore, Miss Lawerence, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker
Cynthia, Kenya and Claudia at STK Atlanta
We start this episode of RHOA, refreshingly, with Team Pretty. Cynthia and Kenya go to see Claudia’s apartment now that she is fully moved in with all of her furniture. I read on one of her blogs that Cynthia had some issues with moving her furniture to Atlanta and several things were stolen. It looks to me like this apartment has been carefully staged by someone. *cough* production *cough* At any rate it’s really pretty and I love the building she is in with the views of downtown. Claudia fills the girls in on the Dish Nation party and her altercation with Porsha. Claudia gets teary-eyed telling the story. She says it reminds her of when she was in high school and she was picked on for being bi-racial.
Claudia is struggling with getting up before dawn to get to the morning show. Porsha’s attitude isn’t helping her morning routine. Claudia meets with Rickey Smiley about her struggles at work and Porsha. Rickey suggests someone be the bigger person and apologize. Rickey goes to get Porsha and brings her in. Porsha walks in with a jar of gummy bears in one of those fancy bags she is allegedly selling her vagina for. Porsha is acting like a 12-year-old. Rickey has the three of them hold hands and pray. Awkward.
Todd and Kandi talk about Kandi’s part that she says Todd got her in Second Chance Christmas. I saw that movie because I love all Christmas movies. I’m already counting down to November to start all over again. Kandi’s part was small and she seemed just like Kandi to me. But still it was fun to see her acting. Kandi and Todd are going to filming but Todd is staying for a week. Kandi says he is not really working but staying to party with his friends. Seriously. Why did these to even get married? And why are they “trying” to have a baby? Kandi’s house is really pretty.
Kandi comes back from her trip without Todd. She had a fight with Todd in LA about her asking people business questions. Todd wants her to ask him because he is in the business. Kandi says she and Todd aren’t really having sex unless she initiates it. They only have sex once a week. Kandi suspects Todd is cheating. Kandi tells Carmon that if she was advising herself about Todd, she would say that they either need counseling or plan to divorce!
Kenya is working on the script for Life Twirls On. She working on a dildo scene. I’m just not excited about this show if it’s going to be a dildo show. We get enough of that with Kandi.
Kenya working on casting her show. Cynthia comes in to audition wearing some crazy outfit that she thinks makes her look Jamaican like the part is written. It’s not giving me Jamaica. Cynthia’s make-up is hideous and so is her hair. They give her the part. Did Kenya just say that Leon has a part or that they have cast someone for Leon? Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker
This is how I feel about doing a blog tonight.
Gif by TKyle Realtytvgifs Tumblr
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not really feeling the blog lately. So tonight, I’m gonna let y’all write your own damn Real Housewives of Atlanta recaps. I’m not excited about the manufactured drama between Claudia and THOT over Kordell, or Kenya’s new show in the works with Roger Bobb, and I know the real story on Phaedra and Apollo. So knock yourselves out in comments.
I don’t think we get to the part where Apollo actually leaves for Kentucky tonight. Lord knows, they will drag that out forever. But if you missed what really went down in the days just before his self surrender date, of September 10th, click through for the blow by blow.
She says no, but we just saw an episode of her showing up at a party she was not welcome to. Did she think she could show up as Johnny Damon’s plus one again? Someone on Twitter (who I am now following @A.J.G.) Posted the above comment. And Brandi felt compelled to answer it. Interesting in light of certain rumors, no? Continue reading
Clearly in Puerto RIco Kandi was still friends with Phaedra.
On tonight’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies arrive back home from their trip. Nene’s personal valet picks her up at Hartsfield. Nene talks to Gregg about being around all those negative girls. LOL. Nene explains her version of the fight to Gregg. At that was all we saw of Nene. Expect to see less and less of her as the season goes on. This episode was also Porsha and Demetria free.
Phaedra and Derek J continue the fake storyline where Phaedra is representing Derek who is accused of stealing used weave. In the office that is not hers. I am so over this show and all it’s fakery. Phaedra’s momma comes in to talk about Apollo leaving for prison.
Meanwhile, Apollo takes the boys out for frozen yogurt and tries to prepare them for his departure. Apollo seems genuinely remorseful. Or at least sad that he has to leave his boys. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, NeNe Leakes, News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recap, RHOA, Todd Tucker
Team Pretty in Puerto Rico
I’m not sure if we actually even GET to Puerto Rico tonight based on the episode description. In case you missed my tea during filming, you can read it here. It’s interesting to note that at this time, Demetria was still holding a peach and Claudia was not. Perhaps the drama on this trip was the catalyst for Bravo changing their mind for the millionth time about who would be on the show.
Claudia goes to the foot doctor with Kenya. She has terrible feet from being an athlete and a model. I don’t need to see her feet. But the doctor was cute.
Kandi meets up with Demetria for lunch to apologize to her about the Roger Bobb thing at the sex party. Demetria sucks up to Kandi. Ah, and here is why. She wants to work with Kandi. Kandi is not interested. Kandi gives Demetria some very specific sex advice. #FixItJesus Continue reading
Filed under Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA
Tonight, Kenya Moore will be on TV for three and a half hours spanning three shows on two networks. Will this blogger make it through the entire time? To be honest, I’m not sure I will get to WWHL before tomorrow. But we will see. Tonight on RHOA, Cynthia and Peter shop for a new location for Bar One, and Kandi has a sex party where Claudia and Nene come face to face.
Peter and Cynthia go to look at a new bar space down on Auburn Avenue. There is a lot of trash and debris, but the space has good bones. And the area has historical roots and has been gentrifying over the years. Cynthia wants you to know that her money is Peter’s money and they are business partners and she doesn’t care what we think about that. What I think about it is that these two are stretched out with two bars and Cynthia’s Modeling Agency. That’s a lot of headaches.
Claudia goes to meet with Kandi. She is looking to her as sort of a mentor and ally for the season. Kandi invites Claudia to be a guest on Kandi Koated Nights. Claudia and Kandi talk about Claudia knowing Porsha from Miami. They have African friends in common. Claudia says she was sitting right next to Porsha when she said she was looking to hook up with an African. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Walter Jackson
I just read the little synopsis for this episode and I’m telling you right now I am so over the Kandi and Todd storyline. It never ceases to amaze me how Bravo can manipulate our little pea brains to like or hate the same person from season to season. I really liked Kandi at first, then I was neutral, and now I could not be more over her.
Cynthia takes Claudia to Derek J’s for a make-over.
Claudia’s Italian mother, and her black grandmother on her father’s side are in town for a visit. Claudia’s mom brought snail salad for her. Apparently, that is a thing. She takes them straight to Lips, a drag queen restaurant. Claudia’s mother is pressuring her to have a baby. Claudia’s mother has never said “I love you.” The 90 year old grandmother says it to Claudia all the time. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker
I don’t know if it is the crap weather, or the fact that my days and nights are sort of backwards, or the lack of sunlight, or what but there just seems to be a big cloud of negativity everywhere. I guess it is sort of fitting for tonight’s Real Housewives of Atlanta because tonight we finally get Demetria. Word on the street is she is full of negativity for the first part of filming. Plus Apollo is back. The editing this season is crazy out of order and odd.
Kandi’s family is all getting together at Aunt Nora’s house for a cookout. Mama Joyce is mad at Kandi for talking about her boyfriend tearing up Kandi’s house. OMG! I want to eat some of all that! Oh dear, homemade red velvet cake!
Aunt Nora makes Kandi sit down and talk with her mother. Mama Joyce says she is taking medicine to try not and get an aneurism. She is trying to be calm. Nothing is resolved but they sort of agree to put things inside.
Phaedra stops over at Kandi’s and Kandi is trying to eat healthy because she wants to get pregnant. Phaedra says things are tense. Kandi has a cousin who just happens to be there to talk to Phaedra about how to tell her boys their daddy is going to prison. He has been to prison or something. This is a ridiculous scene and it’s clear Phaedra is not happy to be filming it. Oh Melvin’s dad is in prison and he resents not being told. I love the red leather handbag Phaedra is carrying. Kandi and Phaedra cry. Phaedra looks really pretty. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recap, RHOA, Todd Tucker
First of all, my thoughts are with our friends in Sydney tonight as some sort of terrorist situation is going on there. Everyone be safe.
We are right back where we left last week with Nene running her ugly mouth at Cynthia and Cynthia just sitting there watching Nene implode. I just noticed Porsha’s hair. If that is her hair line it looks like some really good hair. She’s a great spokesperson for the hairline too. The whole find someone pretty and dumb as a bag of weave must be making the company giggle. A lot. Anyway, Nene screams at Cynthia like a banshee and walks off.
Nene comes back, dabbing her eyes and Phaedra says to Kandi, “Maybe we should let them have a moment.” Which we know really means, “Hey, let’s try to go get a drink before this bar shuts all the way down. I need a chicken wang or somethin’.” (Nightmare recount of filming this scene here.) So everyone tries to make a break for it and leave Cynthia to deal with Nene. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA
I’ve had sort of a stressful evening so I am sipping the hell out of some wine and loading all the weapons and taking the collar off the attack dog in case he “gets loose.” So don’t sweat me about this Real Housewives of Atlanta recap. I may or may not have to stop and drag a body or three over the threshold but, but we will get through this.
Is the first HW of the evening and she is visiting Claudia who is the first person mentioned in the official description of this episode. Who is the HBIC now?
Claudia gets the intro on the same scene. MMMMhmmm Claudia has a stunning corner apartment with a view of the whole city. Claudia is so city girllllll *SCHREEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH* Holy fuck. Red solo cups. I can’t. Please give me a minute to compose myself as these two Yankees get all Kim Zolciak (born Yankee) and act all white trash. I can’t. I really can’t. OMG! Kenya acknowledges the problem. Kindly and gently and points out that is what winos do. THANK YOU KENYA. Frankly, I have heard that the girls do it for the same reasons they don’t eat during restaurant scenes. Production makes them do it for continuity. You know, full glass empty glass. full glass again issues. I’m sorry I just would not be able to comply. It’s a travesty. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker