Forgive my while I take this 30 minute fun break from all the drama. I would first like to point out that Kim Biermann doesn’t know what nipples are. In the flashback to previous episodes part of the intro, Kim is tell her friend Jenn that her nipples are really going to get big, like pancakes. Then, she makes a circle with her fingers and holds it up to her boob to demonstrate. What sort of woman, let alone one with some sort of nursing training doesn’t know the difference between and areola and a nipple? Sheesh.
This week’s episode is focused on getting Lana a man. Kim asks about how her recent date went. Lana says, “First of all I wanted to leave right away. He took his teeth out and wanted to kiss me.” OMG this is not motivating me to get back out there, at all. Poor Lana.
Kim has a baby shower for Jen. It’s funny. Kim is giving Jen the placenta lady who will put her placenta in pill form. Which is what Kim really did. That whole green drink was a joke. It was, right? RIGHT? Jen’s baby is gorgeous. Lo and behold the placenta smoothie lady arrives. Maybe they do the shake and the placenta? Actually, can we not speak about this ever again? Thanks. Continue reading
On WWHL Nene texts Kim to tell her she has the same dress that Kim is wearing on the show. Andy points out that Kim now has two giant watermelons on her chest and comments on her new boobs. Kim says he will have to watch the show. Um, no, no we won’t Einstein. You have like triple Gs on your chest. It’s not a secret. Andy also points out that Kim has a whole lot of spray tan going on.
KIM IS DRINKING OUT OF A RED SOLO CUP ON WWHL WHERE THERE IS AMPLE BARWARE AVAILABLE. I am convinced she is doing this just to drive me over the fucking edge. Andy points out the faux pas, but Kim stubbornly maintains her right to be a redneck.
The Shady Shegull asks her the weirdest place she has had sex? Kim says anywhere and everywhere. Shady Shegull asks which RHOA has the worst wardrobe? She says Kandi.
Kim is asked about her parents and she says she has not and will not be speaking to them. She seems frustrated and sad to be asked every time she comes.
Andy is now selling shotskis on Shop By Bravo. Good Grief.
On to Don’t Be Tardy… Continue reading
It’s the twins!
Before they are even in the car they are setting the scene for Brielle to get into trouble in the Escalade during spring break. Is it mean or does this scene scream reshoot? They are taking an RV and the escalade down to Destin, Florida. All of Brielle’s friends will be there. Kim says they are renting a house with a private beach and then says they need to be worried about paparazzi. Really? In Destin? The only way there will be paps in Destin is if Kim calls them up and invites them. It’s a Hollywood holiday spot. It’s actually one of the few remaining semi quiet (except during spring break) beaches that is an easy drive from Atlanta.
Kim wants new Louis Vuitton luggage for the baby boys. Kroy is totally against it. Kim is drinking out of a red solo cup, but at least it is the fancy kind with ridges. Oh look the Christmas tree is back. I thought it was finally gone on the last episode. Why the fuck didn’t production insist that the tree come down before filming a thing? Anyway, the twins needing their own suitcases has now turned into Kim needing five new pieces of luggage before going on a road trip. So scripted.
Sweetie has full hair makeup and accessorized clothing ensembles for her “job” whatever that may be. Of course Kroy just happens to be there when the girls try to sneak the luggage inside. Kroy says, if she keeps it, he has a retaliation plan in place.
The RV is basically a ginormous tour bus. It looks a lot like the one on the Leann & Eddie show this week. It’s way more chaotic with 8 kids and at least four adults. The two oldest girls each got to bring a friend, there are a couple of nannies and at least one cameraman in there and Sweetie is following in the Escalade. Sweetie has the best ride of the bunch if you ask me. They stop at a convenience store and Kim of course has to shop. I love convenience stores of road trips because everybody knows that road trip food has no calories or preservatives! And it is the best excuse to buy trashy tabloids to read on the beach. This is making me want to go to Destin. Schools are starting up any day now, it would be a good time… Continue reading
What is Sweetie’s job exactly? Nanny? Chef? Personal assistant? Kim is going to the doctor because she is having cramps. In white pants. I’m just saying. Why does Kroy have dip in his mouth at the doctor’s office? The Dr. says she is fine.
Arianna is in love with the pool boy. He has a cute accent. She’s 12. I just noticed the kitchen wallpaper y’all don’t like. I like it. The Christmas trees are still up. Kim’s friend Jennifer is pregnant. Kim requests her wine in a solo cup. So much for thinking she was past that stage. She claims her wine glasses stink inside. I still say they do this because of editing. You can’t tell how wine has been drunk in a solo cup. I’ll spare you the childbirthing stories. Continue reading
Teresa and Gia are having a beach day. Continue reading
We begin with the whole family playing outside. Both Kash and KJ fall out of their kid mobiles and Brielle is complaining that she has to drive a Honda to school. Oh the cars I got to drive if I was lucky back in the day. A 20 year old Plymouth Duster with a leather roof and surprisingly low mileage because it was stored during all the years we were in Libya, and station wagon that was so huge and had such poor alignment I was more terrified of the car itself than the transvestite prostitution streetwalking in downtown Atlanta when I got lost trying to find a church were this guy I wanted to do bad things with was supposed to be. Then I got a brand new Honda and it was a big hit with the HS crowd. I also totaled it rather quickly and got another. But anyway, Brielle has had four accidents and so she is being punished with a Honda Accord.
Sweetie is trying to teach Kim to eat something healthy but she is not having it. Kroy is on Sweetie’s side and mentions that she needs to cut out the sugar. Kim wants to get a chef and a nanny for the twins (in addition to the ones for Kash and KJ.) And a housekeeper. Kim tells Kroy he needs to focus on rehab and “fucking being a beast this year!” KJ who looks exactly like Kroy says, “Fucking Beast!” It was funny. Let the hating begin. Continue reading
It’s the twins!
I really hate half hour shows, they fuck up the schedule for everything. So I am just now getting to the Don’t Be Tardy Season premiere. We finally get to see Kim and Kroy living in their new house and it is beautiful. It’s time for Kim to head to the hospital and spit out two more babies. That’s a total of 6 with four in diapers and two teenagers. Who does that to themselves voluntarily?
Sweetie is back!!!
The house is decked out to the nines. It’s 17,000 square feet, seven bedroom and ELEVEN BATHROOMS. Who the hell wants eleven bathrooms? There are fifty some odd security cameras in the house. This place is balling!
Kory’s ankle injury is doubly problematic because he’s basically another human who needs waiting on in that house. Kim gained 50 pounds with her twin pregnancy. Baby B is breech. It really doesn’t matter because I think Kim was going to do a C-section anyway. Well, I am wrong. Kim has never had a C-section. Kroy says the babies are smaller than the other ones and they didn’t get stuck. It seems like the doctor didn’t make clear the real threat which is that the cord could get wrapped about baby b’s neck and strangle him to death. Kroy says God did not intend for babies to come out of belly buttons. They opt to try delivery the regular way. Continue reading
Don’t Be Tardy premieres on Bravo on Thursday, July 17, at 9 p.m. and it looks FANTASTIC. The twins are adorable. Kim is wackier than ever. They go on a camping trip! Finally, we will get to see the new house finished. It seems that Brielle has had FOUR car accidents. Ariana has her eye on the pool boy. SWEETIE IS BACK! Kroy is recovering from ankle surgery so he is able to keep a close eye on Kim’s spending. It just looks like a lot of fun. I hope they don’t edit Brielle too badly, from all accounts she seems to be a pretty solid kid. Continue reading
Filed under Brielle Zolciak, Don't Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak, Kim Zolciak Evicted, Kim Zolciak's House, Kim Zolciak's Mother, Kroy Biermann, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Sweetie Hughes, Tardy for the Party
Kroy Biermann sadly blew out his right Achilles last season and went out on injured reserve. After undergoing surgery, Kroy was hitting the practice fields today HARD. This is great news for the Falcons as Kroy was an integral part of the team. Kroy has undergone extensive therapy and had an entire therapeutic gym in his new luxurious house. I am sure we will see all of his rehab on the upcoming season three of Kim’s Bravo show. What was it called again? Oh yes, don’t be tardy for the football field, Kroy! The Falcons need you! Continue reading
We all thought the WWHL episode with Kim Biermann and that crazy broke bitch that likes to drag folks into court was awkward, and now we know one of the reasons why. The day before the show, Kim’s third child, the adorable two and a half year old KJ managed to break a bone! It seems the little cutie somehow broke his leg ! Kim says that she took the latest flight she could to NYC and the first one back to avoid being away any longer than she had to be and that her mind was on KJ all through WWHL. So that is why we didn’t get the full on Kim Zolciak!
KJ has been tweeting (okay it’s Brielle, but it’s still cute he has a twitter account) “I’m so bored because I broke my foot!! Nothing to do but tweet!” And while KJ seems to think it is his foot that is broken, when Kim retweeted she changed it to leg. Kroy has also tweeted about KJ’s broken leg and how he hates to see him in a cast. Continue reading
Kim posts some cute pics from a photo shoot with the twins today on Twitter. Click through for more. Continue reading
Photo: Kim Zolciak’s Instagram
Finally, we get to see baby Kaia Rose and little Kane Ren. Kim Instagrammed this photo this morning after her latest exclusive story with Life & Style hit the internet. Click over to see all the photos and quotes from Kim.
Then come back and tell me why in this picture they kids don’t have shirts on in the dead of winter, and also why the family photos are all of the whole family in various pajamas. That just doesn’t seem like Kim to me. I guess when you have six kids, you have to let some things go. Continue reading