Ericzku was kind enough to do a great recap of DWTS for us from last night.
Random thoughts on DWTS by someone who has never watched it before. True. I’ve seen clips and heard about it tons but could never be bothered to actually tune in. Until tonight.
First contestant: Jockey Victor Espinoza with Karina Smirnoff
Victor lets us know that his family all dance, except for him, as he can’t dance. Also, he is significantly shorter than Karina, he comes up to her boob level. How lovely for Victor. We also find out that his short-term memory is nonexistent, as he has been hit in the head a lot being a jockey. Oh, dear.
Victor and Karina do a “Salsa” which looks more like Victor standing in place doing the Hokey-Pokey (left foot in, left foot out…)
Tamar Braxton and Val Chemwhatever
Val introduces himself as the reigning champion, points to his pomade-free hair, and says he no longer cares about hair products or his physical appearance. I must say that’s the path to take, Val, as you look 1,000% more attractive that way. (I’m a sucker for a curly-haired boy. Justin Fichelson, if you’re reading this – CALL ME!) Tamar tells us that after having her baby, she wants to put some “pep in her step”. I guess translated that means “a check is a check”.
Tamar and Val take the stage in black and white costumes, and Val’s gone back to the greasy-haired look. Oh, Val. Sigh. They do a “Quickstep” which looks like it took some agility and effort on Tamar’s part. She just might be a contender.
Chaka Khan and Keo Motsepe
We catch up with The Queen of Funk in Detroit, where she tells us that after selling 70 million records, she’s now ready to get the Mirror-Ball Trophy. Brava Diva!
Chaka and Keo do a Cha-Cha to Chaka’s song “I Feel For You”. Chaka made an effort, but Keo did most of the work. I don’t care though; she’s CHAKA KHAN dammit!
Score: 13 (Oh come on. No way were they worse than Victor/Karina. Ucch.)
Hayes Grier and Emma Slater
We meet Hayes Grier, a 15 year-old “Vine star”, so that he may explain what Vine is. His goal is to “impress a few ladies”. He starts his campaign of seduction by remarking that his partner, 26 year-old Emma, “doesn’t look 26 if that makes her feel any better”. Oh, Hayes…you smooth operator you!
Hayes and Emma do a Cha-Cha with a Jock/Cheerleader theme. Hayes actually seems to be taking this seriously and displays a tinge of athleticism. Looks like he might stay for at least a few weeks. I don’t know if he’ll impress any ladies, but he’ll certainly get the attention of the good folks at Badpuppy!
Score: 21 Continue reading