Apologies in advance if the recaps come out a little slower tonight. I’m having laptop issues on my end and using a temporary keyboard I am not used to. We start tonight with one of those staged husband and wife scenes where Nene and Gregg recount for the cameras the previous nights events. Let me just start by saying that Nene is telling it all wrong.
This “she said,she said” that happened last week about the event being to “honor Nene.” Is manufactured. Kenya held a charity event and selected a charity that Nene claims involvement with as a way to smooth things over with Nene. She did not use Nene’s name to invite people to the event. She selected a charity that Nene claims to support in an attempt to placate Nene after the whole Pajama Brawl situation. Nene made herself look stupid. No one else had a hand in that. A simple, “Thank you all for coming out for this worthy cause. I hope you will all consider making a donation to one of my favorite charities.” would have sufficed. Now Nene is trying to say she was bullied into attending the ball. Continue reading
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We begin tonight’s episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta at the J Spot! Girl, Miss Lawrence sure did get lucky with Bravo. He has been promoting his salon and hair services for many seasons and they frequently film at his store. Then he lands Fashion Queens?! He’s probably making more coin than some of the actual housewives! Tonight Marlo is in the salon getting her weave ironed. I cannot believe Bravo let our favorite felon back on the show. But lately, there are almost more people with federal charges pending than housewives with a clear record! I wonder if this is before or after the event where Nene tried to get Marlo arrested for assault? I sure hope they air that scene before the season ends! Nene was throwing a flinger!
Anyway, tonight Kenya is hosting a charity ball and Marlo is invited. The two ladies meet up at the J-Spot to have some girl talk. Kenya tells Miss Lawrence and Marlo the scoop on pajama brawl. They discuss their previous battles with Nene, and Kenya explains she is going to hold a fancy charity ball to raise money for Nene’s Favorite charity in order to get back in her good graces. Does Kenya not know that Nene’s favorite charity is Nene’s Louboutin Fund? I think she overestimates Nene’s ability to be charitable. I’m just saying.
Kandi is holding auditions for her play which by all accounts did very well on it’s Atlanta run despite the hilarious things we have seen in the casting call scenes. I assure you, most of those people do not represent the talent that Atlanta has to offer. It’s time for Porsha’s audition for the role of Kandi’s character’s younger sister, Jada. Porsha could not be bothered to memorize her lines, nor could she be arsed to cold read them as written. Her voice was up about three octaves and she spoke in a valley girl voice. She sang “His Eye is On the Sparrow” in a way over the top way. However, I think with a little coaching from Kandi, she would be alright in this small role. Continue reading
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It’s been two weeks since the last episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, and when last we left the ghetto peaches their men were brawling in their underwear. Tonight, we resume and it is the womens’ turn to try and turn things up. Please note, I will not be referencing Chuck Smith, AKA Big Homie in his own mind, at all during this scene as he will remain ensconced between the fireplace and his wife’s coat tails for the entire drama.
We begin with Phaedra continuously repeating “we need to leave” despite the fact that absolutely no one, and surely not Apollo is paying her the least bit of attention. Once again, Kenya speaks the truth in her talking head. Nene started all of this with her shit stirring questions and now that everything went left she is trying to wash her hands of the whole situation. Nene makes a dramatic and illiterate announcement, “This ain’t about gettin’ all crunk with no fisteses and stuff!” Porsha tells her sister “we ain’t sign up for no shit like that!” and they leave. It seems like Porsha is going to stroll through the lobby of the Intercontinental in a bright orange bra and panty set and a very see through white dress.
Christopher Williams and Nene seem to be on the same
drugs page and are hugging it out. Natalie’s face indicates that she is not thrilled her man is in a very long embrace with a half-nekkid woman in mullet lingerie. Christopher decides the best thing to do is make another announcement. He says, ” You have to be a strange person to walk up to somebody and tell them (approaches Nene) I know Gregg better than you….” His thoughts are so disjointed I am not even going to recap them. It seems like an attempt to get on his wife’s/girlfriend’s? good side. He accuses Kenya of being “on molly” (ecstasy). Well, KENYA didn’t appear to be on anything but now I have a good idea what he and perhaps a couple of others were on. I mean what’s a “pillow talk” party without some X? Thanks for spilling your own tea there, Christopher. Continue reading
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I’m so excited to see Dwight back on my TV on tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta! Phaedra is planning a “blessing” or an “inauguration” for Mr. President. She sold the story to the tabloids as a “traditional African naming ceremony.” Whatever she calls it, it can’t possibly be as offensive as Ayden’s televised fiasco. At least she is not doing whatever this is in a church. She has rented a house for the party. Why not just have it in her house? I guess because of the renovations. Phaedra is in full put on mode. It’s a presidential theme, natch. You know, just like all the other traditional African naming ceremonies you’ve been to. Red, White and Blue champagne?
Cynthia is telling Peter about the dinner with all of the girls the other night. Cynthia is a bit irritated with Kandi for saying that Peter has a past. I really didn’t think it was a big deal or that Kandi meant anything by it. She just said we all have a past and that doesn’t necessarily dictate the future. Well, unless we are talking about Apollo. Allegedly. Cynthia is telling Peter this because they are planning to go to a couples pajama party at Nene’s and she wants him to be up to speed. But really, this is just going to make Peter go after Kandi at the party.
Kenya is still pretending to be trying to have a baby. I’m not sure these scenes even need to be recapped. Basically the doctor tells her that her eggs are still too damn old. Um, duh.
Kandi and Todd and Don Juan are talking about casting for the play. Don Juan is throwing shade about Porsha singing in the play. Kandi has confidence in Porsha. Did any of y’all go see the play? Todd brings up Christopher Williams and Kandi gives him the side eye. Don Juan knows what is coming and excuses himself. Then Kandi tells Todd about Christopher’s wife, Natalie, calling him an opportunist. Todd is not feeling a pajama party.
More Kenya silliness. Kenya and Miss Lawrence try to pick up a sperm donor at the sperm bank. Continue reading
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Kandi looks awesome on Bethenny. And for my ring checking commenter, I looked, she is wearing her ring. Bethenny says that Kandi is sassier the season. Kandi says she wasn’t trying to be, it just seemed like people were coming at her for some reason. Bethenny asked why she thinks that is. Kandi says when she looks at it, it seems all the new people on the show had something to say about her and her relationship. Bethenny says that’s ridiculous because they are the ones who know you the least. Kandi said at the time it seemed like a conspiracy that they were bringing two people on the show that knew either her or Todd fifteen years ago. It’s not a conspiracy, Kandi. It’s a storyline. Bethenny mocks Kenya and says, “they are coming for you and you did not send for them!”
Bethenny asks who this new girl is and where she came from, referring to Natalie. Kandi says she is a girl who is married or might be married to Christopher Williams. Bethenny doesn’t know Christopher. Bethenny asks how Kandi and Todd deal with the drama. Kandi says Todd is super easy going and doesn’t let the TV stuff interfere. It’s just all about them. Kandi says their relationship is good. Todd wishes that his relationship was better with Mama Joyce because they do not talk at all. She will not talk to him or come around him. Continue reading
Carlos King posted this on his instagram to tease tonight’s episode
It’s time for another episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta! I’ve been doing some technical blog maintenance on the all day today and I’m excited to get another recap going! Let’s see what the ladies have in store for us tonight! I haven’t even watched the first looks yet, so I am looking forward to every bit of tonight’s episode!
Can you believe it has been three years since Cynthia and Peter got married? Lord, we waste a lot of our lives watching this shit. I am so glad to know you guys are doing it with me. It makes me feel less ridiculous about my television view habits. But really, Cynthia and Peter have been married longer than I’ve had this blog! #holdme
Cynthia and Peter are at Bar One. It will be interesting to see if they follow the extensive (23!!!) list of rules for customers of Bar One. So far they don’t even have a table and had to ask for a server. Cynthia orders a Vodka pineapple (no top shelf vodka mentioned on camera) and Peter orders a Ketel One and tonic with two limes. As the reviews state, the server barely seems interested in fetching a drink despite being miced and serving the owners. They are meeting their friends Christopher Williams and his wife Natalie. Jeez it’s another Cynthia and Peter do not have sex story. They are setting this up for Natalie being a friend of the housewives.
Natalie claims to have known Todd and says her good friend dated him. She says her good friend dated him and he broke her heart by cheating on her. She says, “Todd had a straight hustle, don’t ever get that twisted.” I wonder how Todd feels about Bravo production, his FRIENDS selling his ass out for storyline. This is so fabricated it is not even the slightest bit amusing. Natalie claims Todd is an opportunist.Peter and Cynthia go across the street to her modeling agency and Peter has candles burning everywhere and Christopher Williams sings a special song just for Cynthia. It was sweet. Then Peter and Cynthia have a romantic dinner alone at the modeling agency. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Bravo, Cynthia Bailey, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, Marlo Hampton, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker
I’ve already discussed the first few scenes of this episode, here. Phaedra and Kandi snark on Chuck. And Mallory seems to have an ulterior motive for showing up. It is not “mending fences” as she says, it’s more like running Peter out of Cynthia’s life.
Mostly, I actually feel sorry for Kenya. Whether her dad really is this critical or just doing it on national TV because it is in the script, he is just awful. I’m no Kenya fan, but I am starting to feel some compassion for her based on the crappy hand she was dealt in the parents department.
Porsha met with her divorce lawyer to discuss the fact that they were unable to mediate and will be letting the judge decide the settlement. I thought it was funny that the attorney actually pointed out to her that she would need to pay them from her settlement. Continue reading
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Phaedra stops by to see Kandi who is a bit confused how Phaedra and Nene became on good terms again. Well, Kandi, let me explain it to you, it’s called Nene needs a storyline. Carry on. Phaedra calls Chuck a light-skinned Frankenstein and they refer to his package as a cocktail weenie and a bite sized brownie. Phaedra throws out a comment about how hot her husband is despite the fact that the two appear to loathe each other.
In the scene with Cynthia, Peter and Mallory , Peter and Cynthia accept ownership for their part in the Mallory debacle, yet Mallory seems to be the one stirring the shit and once again hinting to Peter about martial secrets that Cynthia has shared with her. Mallory seems to be on a mission to get rid of Peter, for good. Perhaps that is her master plan.
Kenya’s dad arrives for a visit and she picks him up at the airport. The first thing he does is make fun of her “ugly, ashy, feet.” This is all before they pull away from the airport. Kenya says she lives in “The Vinings” which I hope is a subdivision far away on the other side of town and not Vinings which is a lovely town that I could through a rock at from my ghetto. As soon as he gets to her house, he hates everything. He hates her décor, and the hardwood floors and the contents of her refrigerator. Despite her dad being a total jerk, Kenya tries to have a conversation with him about her mother. Continue reading
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Gif Courtesy of: RealityTVGIFs a GIF blog by T. Kyle MacMahon | The best source for animated Real Housewives GIFs
I already recapped the first ten minutes of this episode here. The predominant theme was, “who hasn’t fucked Chuck?” Oh and Mallory is back to stir up trouble for Peter and Cynthia as if they need more shit in their marriage. I’m taping seven hours worth of shows tonight. I am hoping to get through this recap, and the new Blood, Sweat & Heels, which sadly looks promising and then zoning out with JUAN CARLOS. I loves me some Juan Carlos. Don’t judge.
Kenya’s giant gold hoops look real from where I am sitting.
Okay, on with the new stuff. Porsha is shopping for dog crap she doesn’t need. Why do people feel the need to dress their dogs like they are actual children? Porsha is moving out from her mother’s house. Porsha gets her mama to pay the $43 for dog clothes, and for some reason places a couple folded benjamins on the counter as if to say, “See? I can afford this forty-three dollar dog dress.” Continue reading
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By now it’s clear to pretty much everyone that these reality shows are not based in reality. But we watch anyway because sometimes, people get very comfortable on camera and begin to reveal their true selves. Often when that happens, they start to blame production and scream that they were edited to look foolish. The thing is though, production can only edit what you give them. They can put words in your mouth using frankenbites, but those are pretty easy to notice because they don’t show your lips moving when you “say” those things.
So, Mama Joyce, if you make your daughter cry by constantly insulting her fiancé and her engagement ring and her home décor, you can’t really cry wolf later and blame it on editing. You chose to speak those words on camera. You chose to go all ham in the bridal shop and threaten to clobber someone upside their head with a shoe. You scared a small child with your mere presence and went to your daughter’s best friend’s office to film a scene talking about your short big-headed child and how she should not many that short big-headed man. You never filmed a scene all season where you showed any sort of class, or the slightest bit of consideration for your daughter.
So now you want to rewrite a bit of history Mama Joyce? Really? Continue reading
Carlos King posted this on his instagram to tease tonight’s episode
We are back in Savannah and the bitching continues. Nene talks funny. I am not just talking about her atrocious grammar. She mispronounces words like “bonding.” I think she thinks she is putting on some sort of airs but really she just sounds stupid. For some reason, everyone is bringing up their sensitive subjects. Porsha brings up her miscarriage, her clit ring, and a tattoo above her lady bits. Now Cynthia is talking about Noelle and her “dating.” Nene chimes in to say she thinks Cynthia is not parenting Noelle well. Nene makes Cynthia cry. Phaedra points out in her talking head that Nene has had her share of issues with her kids and is far from the perfect parent. Meanwhile, Cynthia leaves the room sobbing and Nene doesn’t care. Porsha and Kenya comfort Cynthia. Kenya takes the opportunity to relate that her mother doesn’t acknowledge her existence.
Kenya and Porsha bond over not having children. Pretty much everyone is crying. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Cynthia Bailey, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA