Category Archives: Recap

Catfish Recap: Chitara and Priscilla

This is Chitara

This is Chitara

Tonight it is a Lesbian Catfish! Chitara is the one who wrote in because she has a catfish named Priscilla. Priscilla dumped her. Priscilla is supposed to be a nurse who also lives in her town of Durham.  Priscilla dumped her and said it was all lies and she never loved her. Priscilla is SUPER hot. So it’s most likely that Priscilla is not the chick in the photo. I’m guessing Priscilla is a big fat dude with a two-inch penis. Chitara is bisexual so ….perhaps there is still hope. Oh wait. They talked on the phone every night. It was a six month relationship. Priscilla claims her mother passed. Then she said she was into a guy.

So off Nev and this Alex dude go to Durham, North Carolina. The south seems to have a whole lot more catfish. I’m just saying.  Chitara is really pretty and Priscilla’s online photos are like modeling photos. Alex is a goober. Being Max is not as easy as Max makes it look.

SIDE NOTE: Finding Carter Season Two Premiers next Tuesday at Ten on MTV. I strongly recommend binge watching season one. The first episode is sort of meh but it gets really good. And season two looks amazeballs. The truth is going to tear me apart? I don’t want to be told apart. BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS!  FYI Finding Carter is a scripted show about a twin girl who is kidnapped very young and is eventually reunited with her real family in high school. She loves her mom the kidnapper but comes to accept her new family….UNTIL….

The boys figure out that Priscilla has another fake profile where she talks to herself and pretends like they video chatted. Chitara is such a nice girl. I’m glad that Tee Cee is not reading this because I can think of 20 mean things she would say about Chitara’s name. But she is the mean yankee and I am the nice demure southern girl. Continue reading

11 Comments

Filed under Catfish, Entertainment News, MTV, News, Reality Show, Reality TV, Recap

Catfish Recap: Daisy & Marcus

Max, you better come back for your man!

Max, you better come back for your man!

The guest host is Tyler Oakley is an LBGT advocate on Instagram. Nev says that makes him the best choice for this episode. This leads me to believe that Marcus ain’t a man already because they have already shown us Daisy. They are giving us way too much information on these episodes this season.

Daisy writes in and says she “met” a super hot guy on Instagram who helped her throw some hard times. But they have never spoken on the phone. Well, I haven’t talked to a lot of my Internet friends on the phone, but I’m pretty sure about their gender. Daisy is an odd duck. She has had two close deaths in her family. Her eyes seem to be crazy.  Nev says he is pretty sure already that Marcus is a chick. So when the guys get there to find out her story she says she had a sister die in a car accident. Then she starts talking about how her dad died by telling a story about her dating a girl.  The family had a fit because of the same sex relationship.  Apparently the father “dropped dead from a stroke and an aneurism” at home when the rest of the family took her to see her girlfriend.  This all seems like a sack of horseshit to me. I say Marcus will be the girlfriend and they are both in on the con. Daisey doesn’t have the right demeanor for the story she is telling. Tyler on the other hand looks like he is so sad listening to this story he may open a vein.  I think Daisy may have drawn her eyebrows on with a magic marker. Daisy is cute enough but she has some major issues and none of them have to do with dead family members.

Okay, now the mother and one sister is on camera, they are really odd. The mother is Colombian and let’s just say she is not very loving to her daughter. Now I am feeling sorry for her. Then Nev and Tyler tell her that she is probably texting the dude’s mother. Nothing is going well in this poor girls life. Continue reading

7 Comments

Filed under Catfish, Entertainment News, MTV, News, Reality Show, Reality TV, Recap

Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: False Piety and Fake Therapy

RHOA Therapy Times

Here we are back for episode seventeen of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Is it me or does it seem a lot longer than that. I guess it is all of those Sundays off for awards shows and football games. I am so read for this season to be over.

Phaedra

We start with Phaedra bitching about having to drive all the way to Duluth to film with Porsha. That is Phaedra’s own damn fault. Since Nene and Phaedra will only film with each other and possibly each other, Phaedra is stuck driving out to the boondocks. It does seems like a long ride for Phaedra to do a recap of Phaedra’s meeting with Cynthia. Phaedra implies that CYNTHIA is a plus sized model. Read that again. Phaedra calls Cynthia fat. She also talks about Cynthia having fibroids and dry vagina. Phaedra calls the other women hyena and Satan’s spawn. Then Phaedra and Porsha “pray” over sme “food.”

Kandi

Todd and Kandi are talking about Kandi’s grandfather Tituss Burruss. I guess this means she is related to Tituss Burress the Broadway actor from Georgia who is going to be on WWHL tonight.  Interesting.  Todd and Kandi try to do their therapy homework but it doesn’t go well.

Claudia

Claudia goes over to visit Gary With The Tea from Dish Nation. Gary lives in a nice building downtown. In fact I think I know someone who lives there. Claudia goes to ask him about doing stand-up.  Claudia is feeling a little stifled as the straight man, so to speak, on Dish Nation. She wants to be able to do a little unbridled comedy on her own at a comedy club. Later, Claudia goes to meet with Luenell to discuss her comedy routine. Continue reading

239 Comments

March 15, 2015 · 9:18 pm

Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap: Murder Mystery Party

RHOMel Season 2 cast

Well, fuck. I was just watching last night’s idol and doing a bit of hormonal singing and crying. VOTE FOR QUENTIN!  We have 3 great black guys in the top 12 and the black guy vote is being split and Quentin is on the bubble. I loves me some Quentin!  And also vote for Joey with the green hair and the Ukulele! #StayWeird!  Anyway, I was doing that and eating tons of stuff from Trader Joe’s (currently sliced pear with goat cheese) instead of recapping so I am off to a very late start  with Real Housewives of Melbourne but am all ready to go now!

We start with PetitFleur at a fancy car dealership. Please forgive me if I FF though this. Then I FF thought Lydia shopping for dog clothes or whatever. Then I FF through Gamble doing something with her dog. I think Gamble’s rich husband, Rick, is very good-looking.  Win-Win!

Gamble and Rick are hosting a murder mystery party. I am excited by this. It has a witches theme. That is rather odd, but whatever.  Janet doesn’t need a special outfit for this potty. Pettifleur is a cunt.

Two lunches occur. Lydia is stuck with Pettifleur, who is bashing Gamble. She calls Gamble stupid. And when Lydia asked what she thought of her she said she found her pretentious. She would be the expert on pretense. I’ll take Lydia over Petti any day. Lydia asks if Petti is from Indian origin. She says no and that she is Swiss, and a bunch of other things. I think she is Indian.

At the other lunch, Janet is bashing Pettifleur for being rude and well, pretentious. Gamble called Petti Nouveau Riche and says she is only interested in money. Continue reading

97 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Real Housewives of Melbourne, Recap

Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 2 Premiere Recap: Potty Time!

Here are the season two cast.

Here are the season two cast.

 

I am so behind on recapping this week. I promise Dance Moms and Catfish and more are in the pipeline. Things are just a bit busy around here today. But first let’s go to those lovely ladies from down under, the Real Housewives of Melbourne.  NOW IN PRIMETIME!

They are only doing the previews and I’m already thrilled with this episode!

Lydia

We start the season with Lydia driving her convertible down by the water.  I forget why we don’t like Lydia. I think perhaps she was too pretentious last season for some of you. I have to say, she won my heart by flying to a cheese shop. If there is anything worth cranking up the private jet for in my book, it’s good cheese.

Chyka

Everyone loves Chyka. Can she do any wrong this season? I love Chyka, her husband Bruce and their cute hospitality business. Continue reading

112 Comments

Filed under News, Real Housewives of Melbourne, Reality Show, Reality TV, Recap

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Sister Act

RHobh CastIt’s time for more RHOBH! Are you ready? I’m not. So this recap will likely be later than usual. Still setting up. Is that a new opening ? Has Eileen’s always been in an blue evening gown with her hair up? What are they trying to do to her?  Are all of those evening gown things new? I normally zip through but tonight I was uploading pictures.

We are back at the gay mixer. Which reminds me I so wanted to do a post in favor of the whole “my gays” thing but I’ve been busy and hormonal. It could still happen. I think the new younger politically correct gays are being ridiculous.* (* except for @NewJerzeyBoy  who I love despite his PCness on this issue.)

Anyway. I hate when Kyle gets all up in her whining crying voice as much as the next person but I think she is being genuine in those moments. Kim’s talking heads on the other hand are such a put on.  Kim is crying in one corner. and Kyle in the other.  Brandi and her gay roommate finally get the hint and take Kim out of there.

Kim is clearly on something again and Brandi is clearly enabling. We don’t need to keep pointing this out.

Kyle is crying to Lisa and says that Brandi is always spewing wrong information. Vanderpump, in an attempt to commiserate says, ” Now you know how I felt last season.” and Kyle misplaces her anger onto Lisa and yells “This is not about you!” Oh Kyle, people can agree and share a similar sentiment and experience and that does not mean they are making it about themselves. It’s called sharing a similar experience. Lisa is trying to console Kyle despite the misplaced anger. Bravo production decides to play the creepy sepia (ish)  scenes with Kim and Kyle at Kim’s house. Why do they waste so much time reshowing footage like it’s a daytime soap?

Kim, Brandi and the dude, don’t really leave. They sit outside and film some more.

Lisa says that everyone is enabling an addict. Kim has everyone scared and no one wants to deal with it. Continue reading

297 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Eileen Davidson, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Recap, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

Vanderpump Rules: Miami Vices

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

 

YAY! Let’s get this party started! It’s time for my weekly dose of Kristen Doute! OMG! We start right away with AnneMarie (Miami Girl) meeting up with Kristen! Kristen orders a bottle of wine and gets AnneMarie to spill the entire story for the cameras. AM was hanging out at the pool at the Mondrian and Jax was there talking about himself. Because, Jax.  AM said all the guys said they were single. Tom took a liking to her and was very sweet, holding her hand, etc. They talked for hours. AM tells Kristen she still thinks that Tom is in love with Kristen. He talked about her a lot and how he cheated on her. Oh this is going to send Kristen straight to 5 alarm crazy with no stops along the way. YES! Kristen starts crying. Kristen sees an opportunity to get Tom back. AM tells Kristen to go there and confront him. It’s going to GO DOWN at SUR tonight!

Schwartz says he was premed in college and his parents were not thrilled her ran off to Hollywood to pursue a modeling and acting career. Katie and Schwartz rehash the breakup with Stassi. Katie is still hoping for a reconciliation with Stassi. No Katie, just no.

Kristen and her friend Rachel go to SUR to party. And stir up trouble. AnneMarie shows up to confront Tom and he is freaking out. He leaves the bar and has someone else take over the bar. Tom completely flees the bar. Tom is calling AM a crazy, stalking, psycho in his talking heads. Ariana also flees her job and they both get in an Uber. Oh, Lisa is going to love having two staff members bail on their shift. Continue reading

107 Comments

Filed under Recap, Vanderpump Rules

Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Road Trip!

Clearly in Puerto RIco Kandi was still friends with Phaedra.

Clearly in Puerto RIco Kandi was still friends with Phaedra.

Nene

On tonight’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies arrive back home from their trip. Nene’s personal valet picks her up at Hartsfield. Nene talks to Gregg about being around all those negative girls. LOL. Nene explains her version of the fight to Gregg. At that was all we saw of Nene. Expect to see less and less of her as the season goes on. This episode was also Porsha and Demetria free.

Phaedra

Phaedra and Derek J continue the fake storyline where Phaedra is representing  Derek who is accused of stealing used weave.  In the office that is not hers. I am so over this show and all it’s fakery. Phaedra’s momma comes in to talk about Apollo leaving for prison.

Meanwhile, Apollo takes the boys out for frozen yogurt and tries to prepare them for his departure. Apollo seems genuinely remorseful. Or at least sad that he has to leave his boys. Continue reading

150 Comments

Filed under Apollo Nida, Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, NeNe Leakes, News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recap, RHOA, Todd Tucker

Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading

35 Comments

Filed under Dance Moms, Lifetime, Recap

Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Divide and Ki-Ki

RHOA Claudia

On tonight’s RHOA, we begin back at the scene of the read heard ’round the world tonight.

Claudia: You’re worried about my clit and my bankruptcy and my finances, like why are you worried?
Nene: No hunni …
Claudia: You should worry about what you got going on, that great clothing line.
Nene: You wanna do what I do.
Claudia: I don’t want to glue hair to my forehead, I don’t wanna be a former stripper, people that’s carless…
Nene: I can glue hair to my forehead, girl I got all kinda cars right now, I don’t care what was repossessed, you just check my crib bitch, and see the cars in my garage when you lift the goddamn garage up! Don’t tell me what’s has been tell me what’s NOW! You wish you could get this check I get from them clothing lines! Then you could loan you some fashions because that is some cheap shit.
Claudia: And your dress is….
Nene: This off the runway.
Claudia: They don’t make your size for the runway
Nene: You better pull this zipper down and see…the make em when you got the coins.
Claudia: You overpaid. You can get that at Ross.
Nene: I know you don’t know what come down the runway considering what you got on spaghetti straps.
Claudia: Yeah, because I’ve never walked down a runway….you should have a little less spaghetti in your diet.
Nene: Girl, bye!  Hollywood ain’t looking for you.
Claudia: Atlanta is and I think that’s why you’re so bothered.
Nene: Me bothered by you?
Claudia: I didn’t know you were into Google searching me.
Nene: You  wish I would Google you with a bob.
Claudia: What’s wrong with a bob?
Nene: Nothing
Claudia: It’s better than a hair hat…
Nene: Girl? Bye, Girl.
Claudia: Bye. Are you leaving?
Nene: Listen to your boss. You weak hunni. Continue reading

257 Comments

Filed under Claudia Jordan, Cynthia Bailey, Demetria McKinney, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, NeNe Leakes, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recap, RHOA

Dance Moms Recap: Abby Got Served

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

 

 

Last week on Dance Moms,  Abby was beginning to break down over Paige’s lawsuit against her.  This is a separate case from her mother Kelly’s on going lawsuit. Abby was upset that the media was at her home.

The very first thing that happens is that Abby is served with a subpoena to appear in court by Kelly. I believe this is the civil suit.  It could be the criminal one.  And they made sure to do it at her studio while Dance Moms was filming. Abby is crying and upset. She wants to make a statement to the press. Holly tries hard to talk her down off of that cliff. Holly looks fantastic like she might have done work done. The moms convince Abby to come back in and go on with rehearsal.

At pyramid, Kalani is not there. This is the second time Kalani has been late. Holly is pissed that Abby doesn’t punish Kalani for being late.  Mackenzie was on the bottom of the for not being weird enough in the group dance. Maddie was next. MADDIE WAS NEXT!  Abby says she was just a twin with Kendall nothing special. This seems to me to indicate Melissa has done something to piss Abby off.  Nia is next but she gets compliments from Abby for her solo and her group dance efforts. Next is Kendall. I did not like her solo and think she should have place below Nia. On the top is Kalani for having the highest scoring solo.  Oh I get it now. She is trying to make Maddie think she has some competition. Continue reading

26 Comments

Filed under Dance Moms, lawsuit, Lifetime, Recap

Vanderpump Rules Recap: Jax Reunites With His Miami Sugar Daddy!

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

On this episode of Vanderpump Rules, we finally get some intel on the rumors about “Jax” that have been swirling since the very first episode of this series.  Since the show began I’ve gotten emails from gay men informing me that Jax used to be a male escort and had a sugar daddy who took care of him in Miami. Though interesting, I didn’t have any real details that could be verified.  I did have a few pictures sent to me that are sadly not on this laptop. I was also told that he left Miami “in disgrace” and moved to Los Angeles where he changed his name to “Jax Taylor.”  I can’t wait to see what happens tonight when it appears from previews that the sugar daddy comes on the show!

We begin with everyone being hung over from the party the night before in Miami. Lots of people claiming the don’t remember. Including Vail who I suspect may have already gotten Jaxed. Ariana is very bothered by Kristen. This pleases me. Schwartz says he is having sex with Katie now. Stassi is blowing off Katie’s texts.

Stassi and her Sur minion have a scene that contribute nothing to the show. Basically, Stassi is butthurt everyone left her for Scheana’s party, especially Katie. Continue reading

56 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Reality TV, Recap, Vanderpump Rules