Category Archives: Recap

Vanderpump Rules: Miami Vices

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

 

YAY! Let’s get this party started! It’s time for my weekly dose of Kristen Doute! OMG! We start right away with AnneMarie (Miami Girl) meeting up with Kristen! Kristen orders a bottle of wine and gets AnneMarie to spill the entire story for the cameras. AM was hanging out at the pool at the Mondrian and Jax was there talking about himself. Because, Jax.  AM said all the guys said they were single. Tom took a liking to her and was very sweet, holding her hand, etc. They talked for hours. AM tells Kristen she still thinks that Tom is in love with Kristen. He talked about her a lot and how he cheated on her. Oh this is going to send Kristen straight to 5 alarm crazy with no stops along the way. YES! Kristen starts crying. Kristen sees an opportunity to get Tom back. AM tells Kristen to go there and confront him. It’s going to GO DOWN at SUR tonight!

Schwartz says he was premed in college and his parents were not thrilled her ran off to Hollywood to pursue a modeling and acting career. Katie and Schwartz rehash the breakup with Stassi. Katie is still hoping for a reconciliation with Stassi. No Katie, just no.

Kristen and her friend Rachel go to SUR to party. And stir up trouble. AnneMarie shows up to confront Tom and he is freaking out. He leaves the bar and has someone else take over the bar. Tom completely flees the bar. Tom is calling AM a crazy, stalking, psycho in his talking heads. Ariana also flees her job and they both get in an Uber. Oh, Lisa is going to love having two staff members bail on their shift. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Road Trip!

Clearly in Puerto RIco Kandi was still friends with Phaedra.

Clearly in Puerto RIco Kandi was still friends with Phaedra.

Nene

On tonight’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, the ladies arrive back home from their trip. Nene’s personal valet picks her up at Hartsfield. Nene talks to Gregg about being around all those negative girls. LOL. Nene explains her version of the fight to Gregg. At that was all we saw of Nene. Expect to see less and less of her as the season goes on. This episode was also Porsha and Demetria free.

Phaedra

Phaedra and Derek J continue the fake storyline where Phaedra is representing  Derek who is accused of stealing used weave.  In the office that is not hers. I am so over this show and all it’s fakery. Phaedra’s momma comes in to talk about Apollo leaving for prison.

Meanwhile, Apollo takes the boys out for frozen yogurt and tries to prepare them for his departure. Apollo seems genuinely remorseful. Or at least sad that he has to leave his boys. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Divide and Ki-Ki

RHOA Claudia

On tonight’s RHOA, we begin back at the scene of the read heard ’round the world tonight.

Claudia: You’re worried about my clit and my bankruptcy and my finances, like why are you worried?
Nene: No hunni …
Claudia: You should worry about what you got going on, that great clothing line.
Nene: You wanna do what I do.
Claudia: I don’t want to glue hair to my forehead, I don’t wanna be a former stripper, people that’s carless…
Nene: I can glue hair to my forehead, girl I got all kinda cars right now, I don’t care what was repossessed, you just check my crib bitch, and see the cars in my garage when you lift the goddamn garage up! Don’t tell me what’s has been tell me what’s NOW! You wish you could get this check I get from them clothing lines! Then you could loan you some fashions because that is some cheap shit.
Claudia: And your dress is….
Nene: This off the runway.
Claudia: They don’t make your size for the runway
Nene: You better pull this zipper down and see…the make em when you got the coins.
Claudia: You overpaid. You can get that at Ross.
Nene: I know you don’t know what come down the runway considering what you got on spaghetti straps.
Claudia: Yeah, because I’ve never walked down a runway….you should have a little less spaghetti in your diet.
Nene: Girl, bye!  Hollywood ain’t looking for you.
Claudia: Atlanta is and I think that’s why you’re so bothered.
Nene: Me bothered by you?
Claudia: I didn’t know you were into Google searching me.
Nene: You  wish I would Google you with a bob.
Claudia: What’s wrong with a bob?
Nene: Nothing
Claudia: It’s better than a hair hat…
Nene: Girl? Bye, Girl.
Claudia: Bye. Are you leaving?
Nene: Listen to your boss. You weak hunni. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Abby Got Served

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

 

 

Last week on Dance Moms,  Abby was beginning to break down over Paige’s lawsuit against her.  This is a separate case from her mother Kelly’s on going lawsuit. Abby was upset that the media was at her home.

The very first thing that happens is that Abby is served with a subpoena to appear in court by Kelly. I believe this is the civil suit.  It could be the criminal one.  And they made sure to do it at her studio while Dance Moms was filming. Abby is crying and upset. She wants to make a statement to the press. Holly tries hard to talk her down off of that cliff. Holly looks fantastic like she might have done work done. The moms convince Abby to come back in and go on with rehearsal.

At pyramid, Kalani is not there. This is the second time Kalani has been late. Holly is pissed that Abby doesn’t punish Kalani for being late.  Mackenzie was on the bottom of the for not being weird enough in the group dance. Maddie was next. MADDIE WAS NEXT!  Abby says she was just a twin with Kendall nothing special. This seems to me to indicate Melissa has done something to piss Abby off.  Nia is next but she gets compliments from Abby for her solo and her group dance efforts. Next is Kendall. I did not like her solo and think she should have place below Nia. On the top is Kalani for having the highest scoring solo.  Oh I get it now. She is trying to make Maddie think she has some competition. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: Jax Reunites With His Miami Sugar Daddy!

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

On this episode of Vanderpump Rules, we finally get some intel on the rumors about “Jax” that have been swirling since the very first episode of this series.  Since the show began I’ve gotten emails from gay men informing me that Jax used to be a male escort and had a sugar daddy who took care of him in Miami. Though interesting, I didn’t have any real details that could be verified.  I did have a few pictures sent to me that are sadly not on this laptop. I was also told that he left Miami “in disgrace” and moved to Los Angeles where he changed his name to “Jax Taylor.”  I can’t wait to see what happens tonight when it appears from previews that the sugar daddy comes on the show!

We begin with everyone being hung over from the party the night before in Miami. Lots of people claiming the don’t remember. Including Vail who I suspect may have already gotten Jaxed. Ariana is very bothered by Kristen. This pleases me. Schwartz says he is having sex with Katie now. Stassi is blowing off Katie’s texts.

Stassi and her Sur minion have a scene that contribute nothing to the show. Basically, Stassi is butthurt everyone left her for Scheana’s party, especially Katie. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: If That’s Not White Trash, I Don’t Know What Is

RHOBH Lisa Brandi Lunch

It’s time for another episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which once again will include a lot of Brandi behaving badly.

Lisa Vanderpump

Lisa is going to go to lunch with Brandi and hear her out. Brandi thinks she has is owed an apology. For what? I don’t understand what Lisa did to her? Lisa says that Ken is very hurt by Brandi’s backstabbing. Brandi thinks she and Lisa have a similar personality. Lisa disagrees.

Lisa wants to know what Brandi wants an apology for. Brandi says “the Scheana stuff.”  Lisa apologizes for not giving Brandi a heads up that Scheana was going to be at some filming they did. Brandi apologized for repeating gossip that she heard. Brandi says I was an asshole to you but you started it. Lisa says she can’t be the friend that Brandi wants. They agree to be cordial. Lisa makes Brandi pay for lunch. Only they don’t ever have to pay for lunch.

Yolanda Foster

Bella has a photo shoot. But don’t worry, Yolanda punished her by taking her phone away for three weeks. She’s also buying her an apartment in NYC.  Bella is 17. Continue reading

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The Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Shilling “Food Product” is No Easy Task

celeb apprenticd Luvo

The Task: Create a bistro featuring a tasting menu of  Luvo food products.  Food products doesn’t sound very appetizing. They will be judged on brand messaging and overall experience.

The Teams

Infinity: Kenya Moore, Brandi Glanville, Kate Gosselin, Vivica Fox, Shawn Johnson (Olympic Gymnast), Leeza Gibbons, Jamie Anderson (Olympic Snowboarder)

Project Manager: Vivica Fox

The ladies get off to a bad start. Eventually, they have a slogan, “Love yourself, one bite at a time.”  The slogan was created by Kenya and Leeza. The ladies decide to play a variety of roles to show the variety of consumer types. I don’t get how that is going to work. It’s a bistro challenge not a commercial. Kenya casts herself as the beauty queen and Vivica kindly allows it.

Vivica’s phone is not working. Shawn has bad PMS. Vivica doesn’t care. Shawn and Kate shop for dishware and such. They seem to have all the time in the world while everyone else is rushing around.  They spend six hours shopping. Kenya is worried because no one seems to think they should rehearse their presentation. Continue reading

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Celebrity Apprentice Premiers With Two Housewives And Tons of Drama

celeb apprentice2

Tonight is the night! Celebrity Apprentice  is one of my favorite shows ever. I know the Donald is a bit evil at times, but I can’t help but enjoy him on Celebrity Apprentice!

It’s time! Let’s meet the teams!

Meet the Men’s Team:

Ian Zierling (Beverly Hills 90210), Lorenzo Lamas, Geraldo Rivera, Kevin Jonas, Terrell Owens (Football), Johnny Damon (Baseball), Sig Hansen (Deadliest Catch) Gilbert Gottfried (Comedian)

Meet the Women’s Team:

Keisha Knight Pulliam, Kenya Moore, Brandi Glanville, Kate Gosselin, Vivica Fox, Shawn Johnson (Olympic Gymnast), Leeza Gibbons, Jamie Anderson (Olympic Snowboarder)

I love Kenya’s coat. She looks stunning. The teams break up to pick a team name and a project manager for the pie selling challenge. Click here for the preshow tea. Brandi wants to name the team Team Gold, Kenya wants Team Infinity. They went with Team Infinity. The men’s team tries to select a name and Geraldo really wants to go with Vortex. He was insistent and the guys gave in.  Back on the women’s team, Keisha steps up to be project manager.  Shawn and Brandi are tasked with social media outreach. Geraldo steps up to take the project manager position for the men’s team. Kevin Jonas is doing the social media outreach. Kevin and Geraldo are already butting heads.  Both teams need to make two pies. One savory and one sweet. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: Apparently It Snows a Lot In Vail

Pump Rules Jax and Vail

Can we all say a little prayer that there will be plenty of Kristen tonight? Because, in case you haven’t noticed I’ve been sort of half way back on the crazy train lately and Kristen makes me feel sane.  She’s my favorite because I look at her and think, “well, at least I am not that batshit. (most of the time).”  Frankly, I’m not even sure she is the most mentally ill person on this crapfest of a show, she just doesn’t even try to mask her crazy. I like that about her. Anyway, on with tonight’s Vanderpump Rules.

Kristen and James go our for afternoon drinks with Scheana and Shay.  The engaged couple is having a joint bachelor/bachelorette party in Miami. Kristen and James are trying to figure out if they are still invited to Miami. Scheana clearly doesn’t want them to go anymore. But they just up and announce they are going.

Stassi and her minions are at another establishment and Vail was invited. Stassi is so jealous of Vail she can’t stand it. Vail went to Princeton and was on a soap and had several movie roles. The gang interrogates her and warn her to stay away from Jax. This of course will send her running to him. Katie explains how Jax lies about Schwartz cheating. Um, I thought Schwartz admitted to cheating. The problem with Katie and Schwartz’s relationship according to Katie is Jax. Yes, dear. It does kind of suck when your boyfriend has a boyfriend. Perhaps you should work the three-way angle. Have you even considered that? Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Nice to Metria

RHOA Kandi

I don’t know if it is the crap weather, or the fact that my days and nights are sort of backwards, or the lack of sunlight, or what but there just seems to be a big cloud of negativity everywhere. I guess it is sort of fitting for tonight’s Real Housewives of Atlanta because tonight we finally get Demetria. Word on the street is she is full of negativity for the first part of filming. Plus Apollo is back. The editing this season is crazy out of order and odd.

KANDI

Kandi’s family is all getting together at Aunt Nora’s house for a cookout. Mama Joyce is mad at Kandi for talking about her boyfriend tearing up Kandi’s house.  OMG! I want to eat some of all that! Oh dear, homemade red velvet cake!

Aunt Nora makes Kandi sit down and talk with her mother. Mama Joyce says she is taking medicine to try not and get an aneurism. She is trying to be calm. Nothing is resolved but they sort of agree to put things inside.

Phaedra stops over at Kandi’s and Kandi is trying to eat healthy because she wants to get pregnant. Phaedra says things are tense. Kandi has a cousin who just happens to be there to talk to Phaedra about how to tell her boys their daddy is going to prison. He has been to prison or something. This is a ridiculous scene and it’s clear Phaedra is not happy to be filming it.  Oh Melvin’s dad is in prison and he resents not being told.  I love the red leather handbag Phaedra is carrying. Kandi and Phaedra cry. Phaedra looks really  pretty. Continue reading

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Vanderpump Rules Recap: PUMP’s First Gay Pride

Pump Rules Pride

Stassi is such a cuntsicle. Sorry for the lack of introductory commentary but MY GOD this woman is vile. She’s basically telling Katie to tell Schwartz to dump his friends for her, when Schwartz walks in with flowers and Stassi lays into him. I am thinking Katie should just nailgun Stassi to the wall at this point and be done with her. It’s not like anyone would come looking for her. Sorry that was harsh but good LORD.  Why doesn’ anyone want to be around Stassi?

Katie wants to go in on Schwartz for Jax screaming at her and saying vile things and for him not defending her. Stassi calls Katie a lesbian for dating Schwartz. I guess that makes Stassi the gay top in her relationship. I can’t imagine her man being anything but a little pussy boy. Who else would want to be with Stassi? Seriously? I can’t imagine a scenario where a man says, “Ya know what? I’d like to be emasculated and ridiculed by the chick….” Oh wait. I actually can. It’s all becoming clearer now. Nevermind..

Wait. They are at Stassi’s house? Why is Schwartz showing up at Stassi’s house to bring Katie flowers? I agree with the commenter from last week who said Schwartz is likely a trust fund baby that Katie doesn’t want to lose. Continue reading

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