Sorry for the delay, gladiators! I’m sort of all over the place these days and focus is not my long suit at the moment. I am dying to talk to you about the return of Scandal though! It seems that everyone has a dirty little secret. If you haven’t read my friends chart, you can read that here.
Let’s start at the end with Andrew Nichols, the current choice for the vice presidential candidate. The gladiators and Olivia all came up with a pretty clean background on him, yet Olivia still has a gut feeling that he is a really bad choice. In the end we find out that his dirty little secret is, Mellie! Mellie is apparently the one who got away over a decade ago. Mellie is the reason for his superficial dating history with models and celebrities. Next week, Olivia finds out and confronts Mellie.
Speaking of Mellie, she really didn’t need another dirty little secret, did she? I mean one would think the whole rapey Father-in-Law secret would be enough for one person. Speaking of that, rumor has it that Mellie and Fitz’s children will be seen and heard from very soon. Will Fitz find out that his eldest son is really his half-brother? Continue reading
Filed under Recap, Scandal
I am so looking forward to this show. With Phaedra cancelling and Kenya filling in, this will be delicious. Plus I love Wayne Brady! LOL At Andy’s intro, “It’s one shady lady and one Wayne Brady.” OMG the bartender is Artie Thompson the crazy gay event planner from Chef Roble! I love this episode already! I hope everyone votes in the poll that Nene started all the dayum drama. It should be a landslide of votes against a handful of dumbasses. Andy says the ladies all blamed Kenya for charging Christopher. Let’s put him in the dumbass category too. They said she charged Natalie, which Kenya carefully explains didn’t happen either. Do we need to roll tape again? Andy says that Nene said she was wearing a diaper and Kenya retorts. “At least I can fit in a child’s diaper, not an adult diaper like some of us.”
Andy says that last week Kenya tweeted that Brandi Glanville was an ass clown. Really I missed that. Kenya says that “Well she’s an idiot really. She went after me in her blog after I said how ignorant her comments were about black people not being able to swim, so that’s why she is an ass clown.” Has Wayne Brady really never heard the expression ass clown? Weird. Continue reading
I am so excited for tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset for so many reasons. For one, I love Turkey and am dying to see where they go. And for another, while they are in Turkey this group will not be wasted the entire time and hopefully we will see them more civilized with less liquid courage coursing through their veins. And finally we likely will not be distracted by the women’s breasts hanging out for all to see. It should be a fun, more conservative show.
Already Reza is pretending like he cares about his heritage. He doesn’t but my home for him is that he will when he returns from this trip. GG wins the best luggage award with some Gucci looking roll-on with a leather flip top. Crap I forgot about them getting wasted on the flight over. MJ is standing up during take-off. What is wrong with these people? Have they never been in a plane before? It looks like they are in Lufthansa’s business class and are sort of spread out so that may be a good thing. Wow! It’s only 12 hours to Istanbul from the west coast.
Did they actual bring champagne with them? The first thing they do when they get to there van is drink. They toast to being in the middle-east. Well close enough to the middle east I suppose. Istanbul is primarily in Europe.
MJ and GG begin arguing on the first night out in Istanbul. This is not what we want to see Bravo. Why do we need to fly them half way around the world to hear them rehash their stupid arguments in front of a foreign audience? /sigh Yet somehow they end up apologizing and making up. Continue reading
And now for something a little bit tamer, I hope, Blood, Sweat & Heels. Can’t Bravo have just one nice show? I’m hoping for lots of tranquil screen time from Demetria. But no, we start with the three I could do without. Mica and Melyssa go to Daisy’s apartment for a fashion swap. Wow! They all have the same shoe size! They do more sipping than swapping, but it seems like they had a good time.
Until the three start talking about their fathers. Melyssa’s father died when she was 16. Mica starts crying and tells them that her father has pancreatic cancer and is refusing treatment and could die very soon. The girls tell Mica she has to go see her father and say goodbye.
Demetria and Geneva meet again. This time there is much less tension. They talk about Mica’s drinking issues. She is falling down drunk at every function. They wonder if she needs an intervention.
Daisy is interviewing for an assistant. I can’t say anything nice about this scene, so I will not say anything. It’s not really part of the storyline this week.
Mica is struggling with the fact that her father is dying. Terry’s boyfriend is very good at comforting her. I’m not really comfortable recapping such a personal situation. I really don’t think this is something she should have made “a storyline.” Continue reading
I’m so excited to see Dwight back on my TV on tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta! Phaedra is planning a “blessing” or an “inauguration” for Mr. President. She sold the story to the tabloids as a “traditional African naming ceremony.” Whatever she calls it, it can’t possibly be as offensive as Ayden’s televised fiasco. At least she is not doing whatever this is in a church. She has rented a house for the party. Why not just have it in her house? I guess because of the renovations. Phaedra is in full put on mode. It’s a presidential theme, natch. You know, just like all the other traditional African naming ceremonies you’ve been to. Red, White and Blue champagne?
Cynthia is telling Peter about the dinner with all of the girls the other night. Cynthia is a bit irritated with Kandi for saying that Peter has a past. I really didn’t think it was a big deal or that Kandi meant anything by it. She just said we all have a past and that doesn’t necessarily dictate the future. Well, unless we are talking about Apollo. Allegedly. Cynthia is telling Peter this because they are planning to go to a couples pajama party at Nene’s and she wants him to be up to speed. But really, this is just going to make Peter go after Kandi at the party.
Kenya is still pretending to be trying to have a baby. I’m not sure these scenes even need to be recapped. Basically the doctor tells her that her eggs are still too damn old. Um, duh.
Kandi and Todd and Don Juan are talking about casting for the play. Don Juan is throwing shade about Porsha singing in the play. Kandi has confidence in Porsha. Did any of y’all go see the play? Todd brings up Christopher Williams and Kandi gives him the side eye. Don Juan knows what is coming and excuses himself. Then Kandi tells Todd about Christopher’s wife, Natalie, calling him an opportunist. Todd is not feeling a pajama party.
More Kenya silliness. Kenya and Miss Lawrence try to pick up a sperm donor at the sperm bank. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Bravo, Cynthia Bailey, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kenya Moore, Marlo Hampton, Miss Lawerence, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recap, RHOA, Todd Tucker
It’s time for another episode of The Blacklist. Will we get any answers to anything this episode? It looks like it may be another bloody episode, which I could live without, but where James Spader leads, I will follow. In the highlight reel from previous episodes, they show us Ressler’s ex-girlfriend arriving at his bedside in the hospital again. They also jump back to Red looking up Katherine Hayne on ViCap. She looks like Liz. I need some answers or at least some hints about all of this stuff. One of the many problems with the writing on this show is they drag things out too long. I don’t have the attention span to put things together from three months ago. At least not this many things. I need the plot to keep moving forward.
Red tells Liz the next name on The Blacklist is the Alchemist. The story goes that the alchemist takes regular people and transforms their DNA to make them appear to be whoever the job calls for them to be. The innocent people die, and everyone stops looking for the bad guys because they appear to be dead. We are really going to have to suspend disbelief this episode it seems. But hey, James Spader!
Red won’t come in to headquarters because he believes there is another mole. It seems pretty obvious it is Meera Malik the CIA field agent assigned to Reddington’s security detail. Perhaps, too obvious. Red doesn’t seem to have it figured out just yet, so how could we? Right? He’s got a team working around the clock to locate the mole.
Red meets Liz in a church to discuss The Alchemist. He explains how the alchemist works, how he changes the DNA and dental impressions of people to make them appear to be someone they are not. He also tells her that the mob informant and his wife whose death he just faked came to him for help as well. So Red knows where they went. If they are mob informants who have already informed, why does the FBI need to find them anyway? In exchange for Red telling Liz where they are, Red wants Liz to promise she will try fertilized duck eggs. Because that is how Red rolls. Continue reading
I was intrigued by the commercials for Kim of Queens as I watched and recapped Dance Moms this week. I immediately looked for a rerun to DVR and am excited to watch this show that takes place in Atlanta! (Yes, locals, I know her business is in Suwanee.) Kim Gravel is a former Miss Georgia who runs The Pageant Place, which assists pageant hopefuls with pageant coaching and interviewing skills designed to put the in the finals in pageants and in their personal lives.
The season begins with Kim prepping her pageant girls for moving into the teen level of pageants. This means interviews! Most of them have not done interviews before. In walks Addison, the ringer. Kim freaks out over Addison trying to clog. By the way, when Kim won her title she sang opera. Kim struggles to find a talent for Addison for the pageant that is coming up that weekend. Addision says it is either clogging or a comedy routine.
This week is the Sweet Onion Blossom pageant. Clearly, Kim picked the pageant for Addison. One of the pageant moms quickly points out the obvious. Kim strikes right back at the mom saying she is taking them to a pageant they are ready for. It is their first time doing an interview and they need to practice. Continue reading
Apologies in advance for this being the worst recap ever. I am so not in the mood. But off we go. Jax shows Stassi his new tattoo of her name at the beach. It is written in such girly script (did he say it was her signature?) that I am sure he will have no problem turning it into a flower or something at some point. Because they are all road tripping I’m afraid we will not have much Vanderpump at all this episode.
Stassi and Jax and Kirsten and gay Tom are fighting. Gay Tom says to the world, getting an exes name tattooed on your body is stalkerish. But Stassi loves it. The four of them go to visit Stassi’s family in Lake Arrowhead. Apparently, Stassi’s family lost their home in New Orleans to Katrina. I’m really not in the mood to care. Stassi immediately tells her mom about the tattoo. Stassi is a HORRIBLE person. Continue reading
We start this episode with a bit of good news for Kandi. Lord knows she needs some with her mother trying her best to keep her down. Kandi’s new studio is almost finished and it looks fantastic! It’s very “Kandi” with the pink vinyl chairs in her office. Kandi talks to Don Juan, her manager, about her mother. Don Juan says that Mama Joyce may just be concerned about where she will fit in once Kandi and Todd get married. He says he has the same sort of concerns. Essentially, he is worried that Kandi won’t need him anymore, that Todd will take over as her manager. It sounds a little selfish, but it is true that once someone marries their priorities do often change and their relationships with other may indeed become diminished.
Kandi seems a bit offended and thinks Don Juan is only there for her checks. Well, he may not ONLY be there for the checks, but he is her employee and I think he is right to be slightly concerned. Todd and Kandi are already producing plays together and forming business deals on their own. If Todd does decide he wants to manage Kandi, then Don Juan could very well be out on the streets looking for his next paycheck. Continue reading
Filed under Apollo Nida, Bravo, Cynthia Bailey, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kandi Koated Nights, Kenya Moore, Kordell Stewart, NeNe Leakes, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Reality Show, Reality TV, Recap, RHOA, Todd Tucker
By: Urethra Franklin
It’s 1833, and Madame Delphine LaLaurie is hosting a fancy schmancy Hallow Eve’s party with waltzing, masks, and a special Halloween edition of her Chamber of Horrors. The governor’s son, Jacques, is introduced as a potential suitor to her daughter Borja. Her nickname is Borquita (Little Borja). Madame LaLaurie wants to test him out with her serial killer style to see if he’s a cool & fun future son-in-law. Plus she wants to haze him for thrills & giggles because her bloomers get moist with excitement when she watches a handsome man piss in his pants with fear, “It makes me feel young again.” She escorts Jacques, with her daughters in tow, into her candle lit dining room to play the 19th century’s most popular Halloween game, GUESS MY TREATS, with her silver bowls filled with mystery goodies by sticking his hand inside them. He thinks bowl #1 has grapes. Wrong. It’s a bowl of eyeballs, and we see a flashback of how she gouged them out from her prisoner slaves with her own bare hands. When she presents bowl #2 this psycho-sick bitch flirtatiously says “They’re long… and wet…and very slippery.” He nervously guesses sausages. Wrong again. It’s a bowl of intestines that seem to still be moving as we get a flashback of her gutting a prisoner slave.
Jacques flees the room, and she emasculates him, “You’re not man enough for my Borquita, much less my Chamber of Horrors.” ….Her three daughters are whining in their bedroom that they can’t have boys over because their mom is Hannibal Lecter CRAZY, so they toss around the idea of killing her. Apples, meet the tree. She overhears them, and later when they’re asleep, she orders Bastien (pre-minotaur days) to forcibly drag them to her main Chamber of Horrors up in the attic to join her gallery of tortured & maimed prisoners. They are terrified, crying, & screaming as they are chained. Borquita is forced into a cramped cage, and Delphine doesn’t care if her leg has to be broken to get her inside. The youngest daughter tells her it was a joke. We would never kill a cool mom like you. Delphine growls “It’s because of my love for your plain faces, that you can still draw breath.” Then she tells them that she will set them free, in ONE YEAR, on the next Hallows Eve. But Borquita gets an extra treat for being the ringleader of the kill mommy brigade, “On Christmas morning, I’m gonna stuff your conniving mouth FULL OF SHIT.” #BitchDontPlay Continue reading
The audience is full of old people again. So Judd won’t get a genuine exit response. Wow, I didn’t realize they had not even shown the veto yet. Judd in the diary room, “Maybe I am the lowest guy on the totem pole in this group?” Um, duh?
Wow! This is a big production for veto! Ian seemed nervous. They didn’t really show how GM cut herself did they? I guess she just banged her leg on one of the buildings while swinging back and forth. It was a super cool superhero comp where they swang from a high wire in case you missed it. Continue reading
Perhaps that kid of Melissa’s is the smartest one in the family. Clearly, the girl knows how to pack for a mandatory Bravo retreat. I can’t think of anything better to bring besides Jesus, the Bible and a unicorn, unless it is a bottle of Chivas. Oh Rich brought a case of booze! And y’all say Rich is worthless.
Bravo did a great job with the bus. Everyone needs a bus with a stripper pole, it is over a three-hour trip to the lake. Melissa may have made an excellent point. Maybe the reason that Teresa hates Melissa so much isn’t because she is overly attached to her brother as I have previously thought. It’s the fact that in her eyes, her brother Joe is a great guy and she is jealous that Melissa who she was never fond of to start with has a great marriage, and Teresa has a lying, cheating scumbag. See? I am learning stuff from this Retreat by Bravo already.
I was looking forward to the three-hour bus ride with everyone on the very large bus but it appears that Teresa and Joe are riding up alone. You know Teresa had to make that a demand because Bravo would have loved six hours of bus footage.
Cute scene with Caroline and Albert.
Scene with Jacqueline and the prop child. Continue reading
Filed under Albie Manzo, Chris Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, News, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Recap, Teresa Giudice