I didn’t have time to recap the premiere of Million Dollar Listing LA last week so I’m just going to start with the second episode. It’s weird watching episodes of two different MDL franchises with the exact same sort of staged fights. I really try to suspend disbelief on the MDL franchise, but as we know the more seasons the show has, the more scripted they become.
David & James
The Brits are having a fancy private buyers office in their breathtaking Hollywood home and a bidding war is already happening. Unfortunately, Josh Altman has decided to show up to be a shit disturber. Josh is saying the house is over priced right in front of the clients. James takes Altman on to the balcony for a little chat. A very loud argument ensues and James throws Josh and his client out. Josh passes out his cards on the way out to all of the buyers. So nasty, so rude.
The next day at the office, James is upset at himself for losing his temper. They are down to one offer on the house. It’s for $5 million. The list price is $5,750,000. The buyer won’t budge and the seller want budge. Eventually, the seller comes around but the buyer has bought another property. It’s a thirty day listing and the Brits are in a tizzy. Then the seller cancels the listing. David and James have a huge fight because James agreed to a thirty day listing without consulting him and spent a boatload on photography and the real housewives style dinner party.
David is building a house for himself and his girlfriend. They met a year and a half ago while dining with other people at nearby tables. Cute story. Continue reading
I just can’t stop watching this messy show because you just never know what sort of fresh stupidity you are going to get. I can only remember one or two happily ever after shows and even they were suspect. I will never understand why reality shows simply must get faker and faker as the seasons progress. I’m pretty sure there are enough legitimate online idiots out there without resorting to manufactured ones. And yet.. here we go.
Is that Kanye West on my TV screen? Please make it go away.
Max is not there AGAIN this week. Instead we have Todrick, the guy who sings and dances and makes videos and was on Dance Moms. I sort of love him. Tonight we have a random looking white guy named Devan who delivers pizzas and a white lady, who seems much older to me than the 23 years she claims, called Rylan. They are both in Texas. They’ve been “online dating” for over a year and they have never video chatted with each other. Um, duh. Devan seems like he could be the bonafide idiot I am looking for. Todrick is very into all of this and totally up to the job of being Max.
The boys go to meet poor naïve Devan whose heart will soon be stomped on for all of us to see. Devan says that he went to meet her at her aunt and uncle’s house before she moved and they told her that no one by that name lived there. Rylan played it off by saying the uncle didn’t know who he was so he just lied. Welp. Rylan is a big ole Liar McLiarpants.
Nev and Todrick to a quick search and all the Rylan’s they find are guys. They trace the phone and find a girl named Cassie who is 18 and has a criminal record for car theft and evading police via a car chase, debit and credit card abuse and a not very pretty mugshot. They do a photo search and find that the picture belongs to someone named Savannah who seems to be engaged. Is he talking to the crimimal? Or the cheater? Continue reading
It looks like the theme for tonight’s Manzo’d will be very similar to this week’s Don’t Be Tardy. Mamas that don’t want to let their little girls move out.
Oh dear GOD. Chris in the bubble bath with a million little rubber duckies lined up on the side of the tub as he says, “Previously, on Manzo’s with Children,” is ERRYTHANG! Moving on…
I still find it hard to believe that Hoboken is a real town. Let alone a cute one. Lauren wants to buy a house. Caroline wants Vito and Lauren to live with them and save money so they can buy a nice place. It really is a good idea. Caroline wants to take Lauren to look at houses. I’m gonna bet she makes a down payment on one for them.
Chris arrives in a blue onsies to pick up Albie and Lauren for some project. Chris says Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching and they are going to give their mom, “the gift of time travel.” I love this show. Chris pulls out some photos of the kids when they were little. Chris and Lauren were in blue onesies. He apparently want to recreat the photo. I love this idea. The kids set about recreating multiple photos from they childhood. It’s hysterical. Continue reading
It’s almost a bad idea for this show to follow Don’t Be Tardy because DBT is chock full of cute kids and this show has always been scripted. The fact than anyone ever believed the kids still lived in the house when this series started was ridiculous. I do like the show though. I just think it could be less..ridiculous.
The season previews look amazeballs! So funny.
We begin with Albie doing his daily positive affirmations in the bathroom mirror. Lauren waking up Vito, her finance who is sleeping over in Christopher’s rules. Caroline will not let them sleep together in the house until they are married.
Albie has apparently given up on the BLK water in order to sell plant fertilizer to pot growers in Colorado. This is making the nude girl car wash business plan sound like the best out of the bunch. I thought the boys opened a restaurant. These boys are the Sonja Morgan of New Jersey. #ToasterOven Albie is going to test his product on a veggie garden in the back yard.
Chris has a new apartment in Hoboken, that looks a lot like the one they boys have always lived in. I think we are supposed to think this is a new one though. He seems to be interviewing a new roommate named Rob. Or else they are just getting down the important rules like “no fucking chicks with the door open and have them out before morning.” Oh wait, this is a new apartment. Continue reading
It’s been awhile since I’ve recapped this. I keep trying to take the summer off because it’s hot and I am burning up and burning out on recapping. But someone sent me an email about Dance Moms last night which I have yet to open but I am assuming something good happened. Then I got my ad revenue check and realized I needed to try and get back with the program. Plus my DVR is filling up with stuff because if it something I might recap, I just push it to the end and secretly watch The Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise, or the Big Brother feeds with a couple of cold ones, or some pistachio Gelato, or my new favorite a chilled tortellini salad. I’m as big as a house.
Speaking of fat, let’s see if Abby shows up this week. Did we know Kira was pregnant? I may have missed an episode. Abby even gets a seat for Kira at rehearsal. It looks like we have sane Abby. Abby claims her studio is opening next week. I’ll believe it when I see it. Abby tells them they are not in any physical shape to win at nationals.
Yep, it looks like a missed a week, I have three shows at 9 on Tuesdays and I have to go in by hand to move one to a later time. It seems that Jo Jo screwed up in the group dance, Kendall dropped her prop in the solo knocking her out of a shot at a solo for nationals. Nia must have been fantastic because Abby said she was decent. Kalani, Mackenzie and Maddie all did well.
Okay, I see how this is going to go. It’s Nia and Kalani head to head for a spot at nationals and it’s at the competition where the judges are kids. So they are likely to pick Nia’s routine “Bye Felecia” over Kalani’s same old, same old contemporary. Then Abby will say that Nationals is judged by adults so she’s ignoring the results and picking Kalani. Also she is not letting Nia dance in the group dance because she is filming her second music video this week. Oh and the group dance has umbrellas for everyone. Disaster looms. Continue reading
2) Yankees cooking in disposable aluminum. Aluminum is Satan. Alzheimer’s, Carcenogic, and most importantly, tacky.
3) Vapid fake blondes.
4) A VERY long infomercial for the cosmetic surgeon.
5) If you are going to be a fake blond, on a reality show, GET YOUR ROOTS DONE before filming.
6) You don’t have to be smart or pretty to be a gold digger on Long Island, it seems.
7) I’m Bored.
8) Horrific wardrobes. Hot pink dresses and black nail polish?
9) Tacky. So Tacky.
10) Yankees. Continue reading