Category Archives: Not a Recap

Flipping Out! Zoila Killed Lupe!

Jeff Lewis Colors

I somehow managed to get two episodes behind on Flipping Out. I love this show! I’m not interested in doing a full on recap of the episodes, but I did have a few things I wanted to share with y’all as talking points.

Zoila killed Lupe! I thank that is just fantastic! From the day she arrived, Lupe was trying to get Zoila’s cushy job with benefits like a Mercedes and a full body lift. Don’t come between a woman and her gay best friend bearing gifts. RIP, Lupe.

I’m experiencing some cognitive dissonance over the pleasure I get from watching everyone torture Andrew. I’m usually very upset by one cast member getting psychologically tortured and bullied by their cast mates.  This stance makes me feel all morally superior to the rest of you assholes. This show has cast my moral superiority aside and replaced it with heaping helpings of schadenfreude. I am a bad person.

I still do not like Meagan Weaver or her big beaver.  I also did not find the sommelier to be particularly attractive. Continue reading

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Filed under Bravo, Flipping Out, Not a Recap

Scandal Recap: I Have So Many Questions! The Mellie Episode

Continue reading

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Filed under News, Not a Recap, Scandal

Quotable Quotes From Tonights Real Housewives of Miami

RHOM3.2“It’s easy to take the high road when the low road is the gutter.” ~Lea

“I’m a trooper. I can always pull myself together!” ~Alexia

“Everyone loves Lauren Foster!” ~ Marysol

“What exactly is gay polo?” ~Lauren Foster Continue reading

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Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Elaine Lancaster, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Marysol Patton, Not a Recap, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM, Roy Black

Tamra’s OC Wedding: A Quiz (You Don’t Have to Watch To Play!)

RHOOCTamraandEddie

Tonight, I am not writing a recap. I am giving you all a pop quiz. So put on your thinking caps and get ready to answer some tough questions. Actually, it’s just two. You can do it. There is a key at the bottom. Continue reading

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Filed under Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, Not a Recap, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson

It’s Time for SIBERIA Discussion!!!

siberiaI don’t know why I get so excited for this show. I’m a bit under the weather and I sprang up to watch this and record my newest questions here. Johnny was out picking flowers for Carolina when she wandered up. He didn’t want to admit what was doing.  They found a watering hole/ swimming spot and all got clean for the first time. Pretty much everyone showed up. The model girl goes topless.

Sabina did not join in. She said it is a weird place for them to have fun. I never noticed before but Sabina is a retired Israeli Soldier. So she probably isn’t an extraterrestrial. :) I like the person who said last week that she might be there for non game reasons trying to get into the area for some sort of military surveillance. (OF EXTRA TERRESTIALS!! :) ).

Oh Lord. I think she just burnt down the food shed. She probably has a storage of food built up in her cave hideaway. Maybe she just wants to make everyone quit so she can do whatever it is she is there to do.

Johnny is getting the blame. He has a lighter but no one knows it. He was there just before the fire. Maybe he dropped his lighter and Sabina found it? Sam is being a tyrant. Continue reading

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Filed under Not a Recap, Siberia

Real Housewives of New Jersey (Fake Recap)

housewivesjerseyI am not going to be able to see the show today but that will not stop me from recapping it dammit.  So here we go….

So wow, what did you think of that scene with Rosie (they world’s most misnamed person) when she went on a rant about Teresa? Youse don’t wanna be around us? Hows about we doesn’t wanna be around youse guys! (crotch grab) Hows about dem apples? Fuck youse you fucking fucks. Youse got a hairy fucking forehead, yo fatass husband cheats on yer ass with the nanny and you gotta some out of control monsta kids, you fucking fuck. Continue reading

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Filed under Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Not a Recap, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

The Blogger Vents

bloggingNote: This Blog Started out with a totally different topic.

Blogging is a weird thing. I feel like I need to blog every day, and sometimes there is just nothing that interests me or that I think will interest you. Other days I am blogging as fast as I can from morning until night. Feast or famine. And then there are stories I am not sure how to tell, that I want to write whether you are interested in them or not. It’s 12:30 a.m. and I have a blog with lots of sources I have pulled up but I am not sure how to pull it together. (Turns out it will wait for another day).

I’ve been cranky all day. The day started off poorly from the first moment and became more annoying as time wore on. I blame the utter failure of #compassion2013. It seems the more “successful” your blog becomes, the more comments you have, the more you are compelled to babysit. Babysitting the comments requires reading them all. They stream in around the clock. Lately, it doesn’t matter if the topic is a Bravo show or a death penalty trial the comments are decidedly negative.  Or illiterate. Or stupid. Or just plain untrue. Continue reading

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Filed under Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, jodi arias, News, Not a Recap, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC

Mob Wives Reunion Thoughts: Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Dr. Drew?

mobwiveslogoOkay Mobwives people, can any of you explain why DR. DREW is the moderator for the foul language fest known as the Mobwives reunion? Didn’t Joy Behar try her hand at this once? I think she was better. I suppose someone thought they all needed a mental health professional to referee, but this is beyond odd.

I love how when Big Ang speaks, no one interrupts. Big Ang says that Love was wrong. Renee seems to think that Love was fine, but it was not the right time. Karen said basically that Love had to do what she had to do. Continue reading

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Filed under Mob Wives, mobsters, Not a Recap, Reality Show, Reality TV, Renee Graziano, VH1

Who Will Admit to Watching Buckwild? Here’s a Lame Recap

buckwildcastI missed the first couple minutes of this show which appears to be even more ridiculous than Jersey Shore.  These kids seem really young. Are they even old enough to drink? They are literally rolling around in the mud in the middle of Nowhere, West By God Virginia. I dated a guy from West By God Virginia once because he was hot, but he was dumber than a sack or doorknobs. It appears MTV has put all the girls in a house that unfortunately is very close to neighbors who already hate them.

One of the guys is a garbage man his name is Shain because, his parents could not spell Shane. West Virginia is really pretty!  I can’t say the same for the cast. The crew is swimming in water outside a power plant. I can enjoy a good episode of that redneck challenge show, and learned to almost like Jersey Shore but this combination of the two is not working for me. All the boys want to do Cara and are jockeying for position to see who gets to go first. My money in on Tyler he’s the more attractive of the guys, which isn’t saying much and seems to have the highest level of education, perhaps tenth grade. Continue reading

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Filed under Not a Recap, Recap

Real Housewives of Atlanta Kim Zolciak Quits the Show

RHOAcastseason2Okay so I am ready for RHOA now. I’ve only seen the last 20 minutes because I had to watch TAR. Next week should be the last week I have that problem but let me tell you even a simple recap takes me a couple of hours. You have to edit and get the pictures together afterward because you don’t know what you will need and do all the tagging by category despite the fact y’all never use THE CATEGORY LISTING CONVENIENTLY LOCATED IN THE LEFT SIDEBAR. Anyway. Let’s get this party started.

Short scene with Kim and the girls. The point was to say how much they love living in the condo. They probably do. It’s a nice size place and back in their old school district. My DVR won’t let me pause anymore because I am past an hour so… this will be frantic.

The go-cart scene with Kenya, Walter, Apollo and Phaedra. Kenya wants to “produce” Phaedra’s Donkey Booty video. Kenya is NOT a producer. She does not have a production company. I don’t have time to get started on all that. Kenya refuses to wear her seat belt on her go-cart until the staff makes her. Kenya and Apollo race. Apollo wins. Continue reading

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Filed under Brielle Zolciak, Cynthia Bailey, Derek J, Filming Real Housewives of Atlanta, Gregg Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Kandi Koated Nights, Kenya Moore, Kim Biermann, Kim Zolciak, Kim Zolciak Evicted, Kim Zolciak's House, Kroy Biermann, NeNe Leakes, News, Not a Recap, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Porsha Stewart, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker

Random Thoughts from RHONJ

  • Teresa can’t remember how to say Giudice. 
  • Juicy Joe lost his wallet fooling around in some random chick’s car. It’s not like he had a license to lose.
  • Everything is for sale when it comes to Joe Gorga. His house is for sale, his wife is for sale. Lovely thing for a husband and wife to agree on.
  • Juicy Joe tells his wife she sucks at driving. At least she has a license, Joe.
  • Oh Caroline, Tre is many things but she is not responsible for Juicy Joe’s stupidity.
  • What kind of sit down restuarant has “proper attired required at all times” on their name plate signs? Is there a problem with people removing their attire mid meal? WTF?
  • Jac is ordering screaming orgasms and talking about vajazzling at a business meeting?
  • Is there a countdown to when Tre steals Kathy’s desert contact?
  • Did Rich just bring a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue? I love Rich! Then the guys drink wine instead? WTF? And Juicy likes an oakier wine?
  • Tre’s kid is a year away from wearing a g-string. Once Tre teaches her how to stick money in her boobies, that is the logical next step.
  • Why are they eating out of takout cartons when they all have wives who are supposedly good cooks? Why wasn’t Albert at this shindig?

Thoughts?

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Filed under Not a Recap, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ

This is Not a Recap of The Bachelorette

Monday will officially mark the 20 year anniversary of the first hit I took off the crack pipe that we now call “reality TV.” Ever since that first episode of the Real World aired and we saw Julie and Kevin and Eric and Heather and Becky and Norman and Andre stop being polite and start getting real I was hooked. From there my addiction escalated to the point where I now have watched numerous seasons of shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  So I was totally prepared to watch The Bachelorette premiere this week and blog about it.

But here is the problem  The Bachelorette in general is not nearly as interesting as The Bachelor. This is because women are crazy. Not you dear reader, or me of course, but all the other women in the world besides us are pretty much insane. And when they cast for The Bachelor, they pick the craziest of the crazies and that makes good TV. Remember Courtney? The whole last season of The Bachelor was the Courtney show. Seriously, all we remember about The Bachelor is that he liked crazy Courtney and had really bad hair.

The other problem is that the first few episodes have too many people and not enough time for us to care about them one way or another. Which is why I got distracted planning a vacation on-line and hardly remember anything about the show. It looked horribly boring. However, I think there may be a really show we won’t see regarding these guys because I think well over half of the suitors are gay. There is Alessandro, a grain merchant from Minnesota. Gay. Alejandro, a mushroom farmer from San Francisco. Gay. Jackson the gay model, Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul!!! sigh. Jef with one f and two jars of hair product. Kalon, a “luxury brand consultant’. I just can’t go on. Trust me when I tell you that the cast of the A-List has more straight guys on it than this season’s Bachelorette.

So I am not going to recap The Bachelorette this week. I am just going to hope that the footage of all these pretty gay boys having massive orgies every night while Emily goes home to bake cookies with her daughter makes it on to the Internet. Because that would be way more fun to watch. I’m just saying.

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Filed under Not a Recap