Category Archives: Not a Recap
“It’s easy to take the high road when the low road is the gutter.” ~Lea
“I’m a trooper. I can always pull myself together!” ~Alexia
“Everyone loves Lauren Foster!” ~ Marysol
“What exactly is gay polo?” ~Lauren Foster Continue reading
Tonight, I am not writing a recap. I am giving you all a pop quiz. So put on your thinking caps and get ready to answer some tough questions. Actually, it’s just two. You can do it. There is a key at the bottom. Continue reading
I don’t know why I get so excited for this show. I’m a bit under the weather and I sprang up to watch this and record my newest questions here. Johnny was out picking flowers for Carolina when she wandered up. He didn’t want to admit what was doing. They found a watering hole/ swimming spot and all got clean for the first time. Pretty much everyone showed up. The model girl goes topless.
Sabina did not join in. She said it is a weird place for them to have fun. I never noticed before but Sabina is a retired Israeli Soldier. So she probably isn’t an extraterrestrial. I like the person who said last week that she might be there for non game reasons trying to get into the area for some sort of military surveillance. (OF EXTRA TERRESTIALS!! ).
Oh Lord. I think she just burnt down the food shed. She probably has a storage of food built up in her cave hideaway. Maybe she just wants to make everyone quit so she can do whatever it is she is there to do.
Johnny is getting the blame. He has a lighter but no one knows it. He was there just before the fire. Maybe he dropped his lighter and Sabina found it? Sam is being a tyrant. Continue reading
I am not going to be able to see the show today but that will not stop me from recapping it dammit. So here we go….
So wow, what did you think of that scene with Rosie (they world’s most misnamed person) when she went on a rant about Teresa? Youse don’t wanna be around us? Hows about we doesn’t wanna be around youse guys! (crotch grab) Hows about dem apples? Fuck youse you fucking fucks. Youse got a hairy fucking forehead, yo fatass husband cheats on yer ass with the nanny and you gotta some out of control monsta kids, you fucking fuck. Continue reading
Note: This Blog Started out with a totally different topic.
Blogging is a weird thing. I feel like I need to blog every day, and sometimes there is just nothing that interests me or that I think will interest you. Other days I am blogging as fast as I can from morning until night. Feast or famine. And then there are stories I am not sure how to tell, that I want to write whether you are interested in them or not. It’s 12:30 a.m. and I have a blog with lots of sources I have pulled up but I am not sure how to pull it together. (Turns out it will wait for another day).
I’ve been cranky all day. The day started off poorly from the first moment and became more annoying as time wore on. I blame the utter failure of #compassion2013. It seems the more “successful” your blog becomes, the more comments you have, the more you are compelled to babysit. Babysitting the comments requires reading them all. They stream in around the clock. Lately, it doesn’t matter if the topic is a Bravo show or a death penalty trial the comments are decidedly negative. Or illiterate. Or stupid. Or just plain untrue. Continue reading
Okay Mobwives people, can any of you explain why DR. DREW is the moderator for the foul language fest known as the Mobwives reunion? Didn’t Joy Behar try her hand at this once? I think she was better. I suppose someone thought they all needed a mental health professional to referee, but this is beyond odd.
I love how when Big Ang speaks, no one interrupts. Big Ang says that Love was wrong. Renee seems to think that Love was fine, but it was not the right time. Karen said basically that Love had to do what she had to do. Continue reading
I missed the first couple minutes of this show which appears to be even more ridiculous than Jersey Shore. These kids seem really young. Are they even old enough to drink? They are literally rolling around in the mud in the middle of Nowhere, West By God Virginia. I dated a guy from West By God Virginia once because he was hot, but he was dumber than a sack or doorknobs. It appears MTV has put all the girls in a house that unfortunately is very close to neighbors who already hate them.
One of the guys is a garbage man his name is Shain because, his parents could not spell Shane. West Virginia is really pretty! I can’t say the same for the cast. The crew is swimming in water outside a power plant. I can enjoy a good episode of that redneck challenge show, and learned to almost like Jersey Shore but this combination of the two is not working for me. All the boys want to do Cara and are jockeying for position to see who gets to go first. My money in on Tyler he’s the more attractive of the guys, which isn’t saying much and seems to have the highest level of education, perhaps tenth grade. Continue reading
Okay so I am ready for RHOA now. I’ve only seen the last 20 minutes because I had to watch TAR. Next week should be the last week I have that problem but let me tell you even a simple recap takes me a couple of hours. You have to edit and get the pictures together afterward because you don’t know what you will need and do all the tagging by category despite the fact y’all never use THE CATEGORY LISTING CONVENIENTLY LOCATED IN THE LEFT SIDEBAR. Anyway. Let’s get this party started.
Short scene with Kim and the girls. The point was to say how much they love living in the condo. They probably do. It’s a nice size place and back in their old school district. My DVR won’t let me pause anymore because I am past an hour so… this will be frantic.
The go-cart scene with Kenya, Walter, Apollo and Phaedra. Kenya wants to “produce” Phaedra’s Donkey Booty video. Kenya is NOT a producer. She does not have a production company. I don’t have time to get started on all that. Kenya refuses to wear her seat belt on her go-cart until the staff makes her. Kenya and Apollo race. Apollo wins. Continue reading
- Teresa can’t remember how to say Giudice.
- Juicy Joe lost his wallet fooling around in some random chick’s car. It’s not like he had a license to lose.
- Everything is for sale when it comes to Joe Gorga. His house is for sale, his wife is for sale. Lovely thing for a husband and wife to agree on.
- Juicy Joe tells his wife she sucks at driving. At least she has a license, Joe.
- Oh Caroline, Tre is many things but she is not responsible for Juicy Joe’s stupidity.
- What kind of sit down restuarant has “proper attired required at all times” on their name plate signs? Is there a problem with people removing their attire mid meal? WTF?
- Jac is ordering screaming orgasms and talking about vajazzling at a business meeting?
- Is there a countdown to when Tre steals Kathy’s desert contact?
- Did Rich just bring a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue? I love Rich! Then the guys drink wine instead? WTF? And Juicy likes an oakier wine?
- Tre’s kid is a year away from wearing a g-string. Once Tre teaches her how to stick money in her boobies, that is the logical next step.
- Why are they eating out of takout cartons when they all have wives who are supposedly good cooks? Why wasn’t Albert at this shindig?
But here is the problem The Bachelorette in general is not nearly as interesting as The Bachelor. This is because women are crazy. Not you dear reader, or me of course, but all the other women in the world besides us are pretty much insane. And when they cast for The Bachelor, they pick the craziest of the crazies and that makes good TV. Remember Courtney? The whole last season of The Bachelor was the Courtney show. Seriously, all we remember about The Bachelor is that he liked crazy Courtney and had really bad hair.
So I am not going to recap The Bachelorette this week. I am just going to hope that the footage of all these pretty gay boys having massive orgies every night while Emily goes home to bake cookies with her daughter makes it on to the Internet. Because that would be way more fun to watch. I’m just saying.