This year’s Memorial Day weekend marathons are fairly lackluster. I’ve complied a list of the ones I could find below. I strongly recommend UnREAL (10am – 2:30pm, Lifetime) if you didn’t see the first season. This will give you a taste of it. Season 2 starts June 6th which is a night with way too much competition. It’s a scripted show about the making of a show like The Bachelor and all the behind the scenes stuff is fascinating. A lot of it is over the top but the viewer has to decide where the real line is drawn. You don’t need to watch season one to understand season two. But it would help to learn about the lives of the production team. Everyone else will be new characters, like a new season of the show.
American Ninja Warrior is not the sort of show I normally watch. But it is strangely addictive and is on Esquire pretty much all weekend. The Librarian Marathon on TNT Sunday is a show worth watching. I can’t really explain it at this time of night/morning. Naked and Afraid is a great show. Dating Naked is a stupid show that is fun to half watch while doing other things. I love Catfish. It’s stupid fun. Check out the all the options below. I purple penned a few suggestions. Also you can click the links for posts on that particular show. (Not many) The linked shows will probably all be purple by default.
By Phil Andros
CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!?!?!?!
It’s the season finale of Scandal and I’m already predicting major crappy behavior from Olivia just from the title – That’s My Girl. Safe to say it isn’t a riff on the Temptations. Let’s just hope she doesn’t murder someone else, right? I mean, it’s like they say about eating human flesh, “once you get the taste for it.” I may have gotten that wrong.
Anyway, I will say before we get to it that switching from Spy vs Spy to more politics has made for some better recent episodes, I mean apart from that total lemon Tamara got stuck re-capping for y’all. At least there’s something of a forward narrative even it if Shonda is completely the fuck over the top with the political caricatures. Kind of makes me wonder what the demographic actually is for this show. Which kind of makes me wonder what the hell I’m doing watching it. And what the hell are you people doing watching it?!?!?!
Anyway, on to the show!
Well, we are starting off with a bang. A majorly creepy as fuck bang, but a bang nonetheless. We’re introduced to Jake’s father-in-law who is talking about how Jake is the son he never knew he wanted…when he has a heart attack…because Jake poisons him…because Rowan needs the money….which actually makes absolutely no sense…. Jake is hella disturbing explaining to dying guy (a) that he’s going to die – because Jake poisoned him and isn’t calling 911 and (b) why he’s going to die – because Jake has daddy issues. Not bad, Shonda, a dead body and we haven’t even had the opening credits.
As it turns out the Lady Cocotte is the only one that could grasp the concept of brevity. For that reason, her list is my favorite. My novella is at the end of this post.
The Lady Cocotte’s List
We all know the Teresa Guidices, the Ramona Singers and the Nene Leakes of the housewives worlds but they’re not the reasons I tune in. So instead of listing the biggest personalities (or names), I decided to go with my personal favorites. Let me specify that there are only a few women on this list I actually like. My choices are based on who I find entertaining (and crazy entertains me).
Kelly Bensimon (RHONY) Because, batshit crazy (see Danielle Staub).
Erika Girardi (RHOBH) Erika made it on the list because her new video rocks. How many fucks do I give? None!
Adriana de Moura (RHOM) The delusion is strong with this one.
Heather Thomson (RHONY) She should annoy me (holla anyone?) but I enjoy her NY moxie.
Jill Zarin (RHONY) Reminds me of my mother’s family. Don’t judge.
Please stop asking me about Prince rumors. I am devastated. He was everything. I will not participate in the madness that click bait media perpetuates. I will not respond to sites that continue to profit from his tragic death. I find it HORRENDOUS that TMZ continues to post so many shitty things every day. I have no comment other than I find it disgusting and disrespectful. Please stop emailing, tweeting, DMing, Facebooking me about his death.
Prince was the greatest artist of my time. I am saddened to my core. I will not participate in the media drama. I am not interested in the media fest. I don’t care how he died. I only care so very deeply that he did.
MTV has been pimping the hell out of this episode. It seems to involve a psychic who is catfishing some girl with messages from her dead father. This is a new level of crazy fools.
Kayla is an 18 year old with a kid and a baby daddy who live just down the road from their families in Kentucky. She was contacted two years ago by someone named Courtney who tells her that her dad wants to be a part of her life. Kayla says that she hasn’t had contact with her dad because he died when she was four. Other than this insanity, it follows the same pattern as the regular catfishing. They talk on the phone but Courtney will not video chat or meet up.
When they video chat with Kayla she says that in 1999 her dad ha “a mental breakdown” and killed her mom. Then a few years later in prison he had another “mental breakdown” in prison and killed himself. They put up partial news headlines for some of this stuff. She was raised by her father’s mother.
Kayla says that Courtney’s messages are very detailed and she knew all kinds of things that she says no one could know. She does not ask for money in fact she has sent Kayla gifts.
Every week, when I see the boys in the airport, it makes me want to get on a plane. Before I had Banjo, I was prone to just booking a trip within 24 hours of feeling this way. I just went on a little getaway four months about and a road trip last month or so, (yes I worked through both) and I am already ready to go again somewhere.
Daily Tea threads are not daily and generally contain no tea. They are posts for you to check in on Cat’s cat rescue project and other behind the scenes things we have going on. It’s basically an open forum with a few exceptions. One exception is to not talk about plots of TV shows we may not have gotten around to watching yet. For example, don’t ask what we thought about the Maury Povitch episode where he dramatically reads, “Apollo! You are NOT the father!” That is just a random example that of course never happened.
This time of year a lot of us use the comments of these posts to update each other on our gardening wins and losses. I am currently on a planting break. I found some heirloom yellow plum tomatoes at Home Depot yesterday. I bought two pots containing three plants. I still have two to divide and put out. I actually bought more plants than I have spots for. Not sure what I will do about that. I focused mainly on plain old red slicing tomatoes this season rather than doing all the different colored heirlooms. My plum tomatoes are all yellow. I also realized I don’t have many peppers this year. I might stick one or two of those in my flower bed. I think I am officially done buying plants.
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