Category Archives: Lifetime

Dance Moms Reunion Recap: Is Abby Bringing In A New Crop?

Dance Moms Platinum

The Dance Moms reunion did not tape for me, so I am going to recap while watching on demand. This means no real ability to pause without going through all sorts of di-dos.  So I’m gonna assume you saw it and hit the highlights.

Why do they think this is the most controversial season in the history of Dance Moms? Just because Nationals was a bust? Abby is texting everyone telling them not to show up to the reunion. But everyone is already there. Except for Abby. Abby goes straight to the set with a folder of evidence that she has no problem hiding under her ample bum.

Oh, that annoying host guy is the executive producer.  That means he is the enemy of Abby who got a very negative edit this season. Abby is asked what she thought about the Nationals results and she brings out a piece of paper from her folder that just says FIXED!  Abby is refusing to speak. Holly says that it is unfair to say the competition was fixed. Holly said that Abby and  Melissa looked like sore losers by walking out. The host points out that Abby is friends with the owner of the competition. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: It’s Finally Time For Nationals


It’s coming down to the wire for nationals and Abby had decided to do the opening on an unfinished studio the day before nationals. I know a lot of your were outraged last week when Nia beat Kalani and Abby still would not commit to giving her a solo at nationals but you have to understand this has become one of the most scripted shows on TV and everyone involved, even the girls are acting.  They are actually very good little actors.  And Abby’s bizarre behavior is being hyped up. While I do think something is going on with her, I think we are getting a very exaggerated perspective.

Abby actually points Nia on top of the pyramid. Abby has two solos for nationals. Of course Maddie gets one. The mothers fight for Nia to get the other. Abby gave Nia her first solo at nationals. Actually, Nia owned it. This years group dance is set in a hospital waiting room. Oh, Abby. Just tank them why don’t you.

At nationals, Nia has a stupid costume. I blame Holly for this. Why are they acting like Abby provides the costumes? That is a dance mom’s job. Nia is dancing in the teen division and her competition will be stiff. I’m not sure she is prepared for this. That is Abby’s fault. But I’m sure Nia will take any blame that comes and none of the glory. It’s looking like Ava might beat Maddie as well. That would not break my heart. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Catch Up Post: Abby in a Bra

Abby Lee

I got a few episodes behind on Dance Moms during my (sorta) unplugged birthday week. I’m gonna try to hit the high (or low) notes of both episodes in this post.

We start the week after Mackenzie beat Maddie in solos. The episode I am watching is the director’s cut and I am not sure what is added and left out, but I love seeing the girls warming up and talking about the previous week. Abby says she is over Jazz routines. She is going back to her usual routines. Nothing unusual about pyramid this week. Mackenzie was on top of Pyramid.

The competition is in Calabasas and their west coast nemesis MDP will be there. (WTF is the P for?) As Abby prepares to dole out solo’s Jo Jo says that her grandmother who has stage 4 colon cancer will be there and she really wants to do a solo for her. Abby says okay. Kendall, Abby’s new favorite, is going to do her solo that got scratched from two weeks ago. Abby gives the group lead she meant for Maddie to Mackenzie. Abby seems “nice” this week. Jo Jo is being taken out of the group dance to focus on her solo.  Abby took the lead away from Mackenzie. Continue reading


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The War Between Abby Lee Miller and Dance Moms Production Rages On

Dance moms Abby


Abby Lee Miller was on Entertainment Tonight this week and had extensive segments where she gave us a lot of information the behind the scenes war on Dance Moms. She says that she lost her weight because her mother died of colon cancer and would not eat toward the end. So when she was with her mother she did not want to eat in front of her. Which is a great theory, but her mother died in 2014, and production has made a point of her binge eating throughout season four and five. She also blame new diabetes medication for making her violently ill. Yet clearly, production has been going after her during filming showing all of her breakdowns in the car with bags of fast food. So, I am not believing she just suddenly dropped four or more dress sizes without some surgery. Why do people lie about weight loss surgery? Abby says she no longer is limited to plus sized stores to do her shopping.

Abby says that production threw her out of a competition later this season when the mothers kept going after her about their kids getting back to their regular classes. She said she left and didn’t return for a week or so. She says if they think they can do the show without her, she will let them. I have a feeling that is what was going on in LA when she disappeared as well. Either she was fighting production, or she was getting her gastric by-pass. Maybe the stuff down in the car was her last meal before the surgery?

Abby says for the first three seasons she fought with production about keeping the girls in their regular dance classes. She says production was more focused on the moms but the girls and the dancing took over. Abby says she has no creative input on the show and wants it for season six. If there is a season six. She says that Lifetime is behind on her paychecks and all of that will need to be up to speed before she entertains a contract for season six. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Down Under Part 2 Recap: THIS Was Nia’s Time to Shine!

Abby is preparing a Mad Max themed group routine for all of the girls except Nia and JoJo. I know why Nia is being punished, but I can’t remember why Jo Jo is. I guess it was something Jess said.  Even more ridiculous is the fact that Kalani and her mom are taking a mother daughter day in Australia. Which is fine. But can you imagine if Nia or JoJo or even Kendall tried to do that? The girls make up with Jo Jo over their mean girl comments.

Nia is allowing Jo Jo to dance in her event. Which is really sweet. Abby is pissed that Nia’s choreographer flew in from LA to coordinate her show. Jill has the nerve to be pissed that Nia didn’t include all the kid in her performance. Um, Nia’s whole reason behind doing a performance is because she was excluded from all the ones with the other kids. Abby seems legitimately furious that Nia has a better choreographer than she is working on her show.

Meanwhile, Kalani is not even at practice for the group dance. Abby says Kalani is the star of the dance so she has her own part to learn.  Yet, when she shows up the next day, the majority of her moves appear to be just like everyone else’s. The other moms are pissed that Kira spent the day with her boyfriend and Kalani. Abby is pissed that Kalani doesn’t know the routine, even though Abby was fine with her missing the first day of practice.

Jill continues to point out to Abby that Nia’s performance is way better than their little dance recital event. It’s killing Abby. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Showdown in Pittsburgh Part 2

Dance Moms Group Dance

The thing about Dance Moms is that even though it becomes more and more scripted every week, at least these people knew each other and were arguing before the cameras ever showed up. Tonight’s recap is the final half of the season finale. If you missed last week you can catch it here.  The first part of the finale was all about the convention and Nia’s video premiere. Tonight, we have the competition between ALDC, Candy Apples and the Detroit Team.  Nia, Holly, Jo Jo and Jess are the only ones who have arrived at the competition. Holly is convinced something is going on behind her back.

Apparently Abby got special permission for the other girls to arrive late due to their commitments at JUMP! the dance convention. I have no idea why Nia and Jo Jo have been excluded from that appearance.

The competition confronts Holly, Jess who are joined by Jill and Michelle about where the rest of the team is. Jess blabs the whole story to the ENEMY and Holly chimes in with her two cents. Abby walks up and Jess and Holly get in to a verbal sparring match with Abby right in front of the ENEMY making their whole lives complete. What a bunch of idiots. Handle the conflict in private. Abby basically says that Holly stabbed her in the back and that is why she was excluded. Jill tells Holly to shut her mouth in front of the ENEMY and Holly claps back with, ” Don’t tell me what to do!” Well, Holly, somebody needs to put you in check. You’re embarrassing yourself and ALDC.  Holly and Jess stomp off like two little brats. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Maddie v Kalani

Dance Moms Group Dance

I don’t have time to do an in-depth recap of this show but it’s almost time for RHOA and I still haven’t gotten a chance to do it so here is a slap dash one.   The title says it all. Kalani finally gets a chance to take a whack at Maddie. I can’t believe Abby is allowing this.

At pyramid, Abby is thrilled they won with their group dance but she puts Nia on the bottom for daring to come in a meager third with her solo. Shockingly, Mackenzie and Maddie join her at the bottom. Melissa must have pissed Abby off. And she is mad about her technical ability being called out last week. Abby seems pleased with Kalani and Kendall is at the top for winning the overall high score.  Kendall is also working her video this week.

Maddie’s solo is lyrical. Kalani’s is contemporary. The group dance is also contemporary. Maddie will be out one day of rehearsal to perform on Ellen. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap Double Feature: Nia’s Last Chance and Abby’s Trash is Cathy’s Treasure

Dance Moms Maddie

Oh Crap. I just realized I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms. Sorry. I’m catching up now. I am not excited about the title of this one. It’s time for pyramid and everyone expects it to go well because they beat Cathy and the Candy Apples the week before. However, there pyramid has everyone on one row except for one top spot. Lord knows the top spot will be Maddie and the last spot will be Nia, so lets just see what happens in the middle.

This week the moms are pushing for a non-lyrical routine. This is nonsense because we know that Abby already has the routine selected. Apparently, the girls were asked to list pros and cons about Jo Jo being on the ALDC dance teams. The girls basically tell her that she is loud and sometimes her timing is off, that she takes things away from other dancers. Jo Jo stands there and takes it. Abby gives her an ALDC jacket and promises to let Jo Jo be on the team for the rest of the season. Spoiler Alert, she went to Australia so she is also on the team for next season.  Everyone is on the same line of the pyramid because they all did well on the group dance.  Maddie is on the top because she is better than anyone in the whole world.

This week they are going to Philadelphia. This competition critiques the performers live on the stage. The group dance is a musical theatre piece called Decadent Darlings. The three soloists are Maddie with a contemporary solo, Kendall who also has a contemporary solo, with a prop. And Nia has a solo called The Color Purple. If she does not place, she may never see another solo. She should do fine, she has a lot of experience with ethnic dances. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL ABBY EVER GIVES HER!

OMG All the girls carry in Louis bags to the competition. Finally, I have actually seen more than one bag in a scene. This has been driving me nuts. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Abby’s Creation Has Begun To Turn on Her!

Whatever, Abby.

Whatever, Abby.


Am I the only one who prefers Dance Moms being in Pittsburgh? This week Brynn is back in Pittsburgh. It seems he mom is not really thrilled with Pittsburgh but anything for some TV time I guess. Abby is in love with Brynn.

Time for pyramid. Nia is on the bottom. She did not place in her solo. Plus Abby is a big ole bitch. Next was Jo Jo. But Abby says that Jo Jo improved.  Mackenzie was next. Kendall was next, it’s her birthday, Abby liked her. Next is Maddie.  Kalani is on top of the pyramid. She was the top scoring soloist of the entire day.  This week they are going to NJ and the Candy Apples will be there.  It is interesting to me to discover that Abby and Cathy were friends before Dance Moms and that Cathy, not Abby was the first person cast on the show.

Solos this week should be no surprise. I am going to guess Maddie, Kalani and Brynn before I even watch. Possibly with Mackenzie in the mix as well. Abby will want to annihilate Cathy.  Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: The Great Divide

Dance Moms Everyone

So back in Pittsburgh the hammer hasn’t been dropped on Holly and Nia yet for daring to keep their contractual agreement they signed to perform in the Matty B. video. I feel that time is now.

Of course at pyramid, Nia is on the bottom. Wait what? Maddie is on the bottom? Since when does Maddie not performing put her on the bottom? Next is Jo Jo. Really? Before Nia? How is any of this possible? Then Nia, then Kalani, then Kendall,  then MacKenzie. Oh look. It’s Maddie on the top of the period, even above MacKenzie

Abby announces that she no longer works with dance students who are in the teen division. That’s interesting. Nia and Kalani are both teens. Now one must be pulled to keep the group in the junior division. Gee, I wonder who will be pulled? Abby needs to find her some younger kids to dance for her because it looks like her kids are aging out. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Abby Got Served

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1



Last week on Dance Moms,  Abby was beginning to break down over Paige’s lawsuit against her.  This is a separate case from her mother Kelly’s on going lawsuit. Abby was upset that the media was at her home.

The very first thing that happens is that Abby is served with a subpoena to appear in court by Kelly. I believe this is the civil suit.  It could be the criminal one.  And they made sure to do it at her studio while Dance Moms was filming. Abby is crying and upset. She wants to make a statement to the press. Holly tries hard to talk her down off of that cliff. Holly looks fantastic like she might have done work done. The moms convince Abby to come back in and go on with rehearsal.

At pyramid, Kalani is not there. This is the second time Kalani has been late. Holly is pissed that Abby doesn’t punish Kalani for being late.  Mackenzie was on the bottom of the for not being weird enough in the group dance. Maddie was next. MADDIE WAS NEXT!  Abby says she was just a twin with Kendall nothing special. This seems to me to indicate Melissa has done something to piss Abby off.  Nia is next but she gets compliments from Abby for her solo and her group dance efforts. Next is Kendall. I did not like her solo and think she should have place below Nia. On the top is Kalani for having the highest scoring solo.  Oh I get it now. She is trying to make Maddie think she has some competition. Continue reading


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