Category Archives: Lifetime

Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Abby Got Served

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

 

 

Last week on Dance Moms,  Abby was beginning to break down over Paige’s lawsuit against her.  This is a separate case from her mother Kelly’s on going lawsuit. Abby was upset that the media was at her home.

The very first thing that happens is that Abby is served with a subpoena to appear in court by Kelly. I believe this is the civil suit.  It could be the criminal one.  And they made sure to do it at her studio while Dance Moms was filming. Abby is crying and upset. She wants to make a statement to the press. Holly tries hard to talk her down off of that cliff. Holly looks fantastic like she might have done work done. The moms convince Abby to come back in and go on with rehearsal.

At pyramid, Kalani is not there. This is the second time Kalani has been late. Holly is pissed that Abby doesn’t punish Kalani for being late.  Mackenzie was on the bottom of the for not being weird enough in the group dance. Maddie was next. MADDIE WAS NEXT!  Abby says she was just a twin with Kendall nothing special. This seems to me to indicate Melissa has done something to piss Abby off.  Nia is next but she gets compliments from Abby for her solo and her group dance efforts. Next is Kendall. I did not like her solo and think she should have place below Nia. On the top is Kalani for having the highest scoring solo.  Oh I get it now. She is trying to make Maddie think she has some competition. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: What A Freak Show!

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

I am so excited that Dance Moms is back. I cannot get enough Abby Lee Miller. I know, it’s a sickness. Don’t judge me.

OMG! I almost skipped the girl talk pre-show where the dancers all talk without Abby or the moms around, but I took a peek and already the girls are spilling the tea. It seems that Abby wants to move the studio to Hollywood because she has a BOYFRIEND in LA.  I thought it was just for media whoredom’s sake.

First of all, I didn’t even recognize Mackenzie. She is not a little girl anymore!  Kendall, Maddie, McKenzie and Nia have been traveling all over Europe and Australia with Abby teaching master classes. They all seemed really excited about the opportunities. Abby’s boyfriend was on the trip. Kendall accidentally let his name slip out and they bleeped it.

Chloe is not there and the host asks where she is. The girls all say she has been doing stuff on her own with her mom. They’ve all tried texting her and she doesn’t text them back. They don’t know what is going on or if she will be on the show. The girls are hurt that Chloe has blocked some of them on Instagram.

JoJo with the Bow Bow from the Abby Lee Dance Competition comes out. She is still trying to get on the team. I’m going to assume we are stuck with her this season. I hate her speech problem.

On with the show! Continue reading

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Here’s Another TT Question!

Will you guys be watching the Whitney Houston movie on Lifetime? It’s Angela Bassett’s directorial debut. I will most definitely be watching. After the Aaliyah movie that everyone but me HATED, I’m not sure how this will be received. When the family refuses to allow the artist’s music to be used that is not usually a good sign. I was unfamiliar with Aaliyah, well I mean I knew of her music but I was not a devoted fan privy to all the details so I as able to just watch it unaware of all the liberties taken. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Reunion: Playing Favorites

Tribal Council

Tribal Council

I wasn’t expecting this since we had a reunion before the season. I still don’t understand why that happened. Let’s see if this is worth watching.  Abby is out by herself first to a tepid welcome by the audience (at least I didn’t hear any boos.)  The host congratulates her on her fourth consecutive win at nationals. He then points out that Chloe was the highest scored in the solo competition and she came in fifth, Camryn 6th and Kendall 9th.  Abby makes a face and says there was a lot of competition in the solo division and she opted not to have Maddie dance. I still don’t think we know the real reason why Maddie didn’t dance. She also said that Jill has said forever that if Kendall got the choreography that Maddie got, she would win, so she gave it to her and she came in 9th. Abby says that it just proves that Maddie is the only who can when.

Time for the Maddie one on one. Will the other kids get on? I doubt it. Maddie explains that Sia contacted her on twitter and a week later she was there in a week and learned the dance in two hours. Yep, the fame is going to her head.

Holly comes out looking gorgeous in a yellow dress. They have the same discussion they had all summer. Abby’s favoritism toward Maddie is to the detriment of the other dancers. Montage of same argument over and over. Abby laughs through the whole thing. The team performs Tribal Council with Nia in the lead. It’s of course my favorite group dance of the season. Nia rocked it! Continue reading

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Chloe Lukasiak Gives a Wordless Response To Last Night’s Dance Moms Finale

Through Just For Kix dance clothing line’s #NobodyIsYou campaign. So pretty.

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Dance Mom Season Finale: Worst Finale Ever?

Dance Moms Gypsies

Yay! I managed to make it to the finale without some numnut  spoiling it for me! The number of people on the Internet who feel the need to explain Google to me on a daily basis can be mind-boggling. I truly think some people think they are the only one’s who have access to Google. Anyway, let’s get on with the show.

We are still pretending Maddie is not going to have a solo. At nationals. It one day until nationals and the farce remains. I hate the Amber Alert dance. Abby says the routine is still a hot mess. The select time is told the need to win to stay.  Then Abby threatens the soloist, Camryn, Chloe, and Kendall. Chloe’s choreography is still mediocre.  Oh look, here comes Maddie solo. Abby is already setting them up for it.

The Amber Alert dance is crap. Abby pulls Maddie and tells her to “go work on her solo.”  And there it is.

Abby loves Camryn and is treating her nicely and working with her a lot. She really wants her to beat Chloe. Oh yeah, Abby just walked in and told Camryn if she didn’t beat “that kid” and then makes the knife slitting throat gesture. Kendall’s solo looks good and Abby is pleased.  Chloe’s rehearsal is not the best. Chloe’s self-esteem is beaten down. She’s lost her desire. Chloe’s mom is a bitch to her too.

Cathy arrives to Nationals and passes out apples to everyone outside who hold them up like trophies when Abby and crew arrive. Priceless. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Nationals! We’re Going to Hollywood!

Dance Moms New SeasonThe team is in LA in a studio getting ready for pyramid. Abby is talking about how great she is and all of the opportunities the girls have when the B team and their obnoxious mothers waltz in. Holly is already asking WTF is going on.

Chloe is on the bottom because she did not dance due to injury. Her foot in miraculously healed. Next is Mackenzie! Abby has been upset with her lately. For several episodes she was the clear favorite, even above Maddie. Next is Nia, because Abby is a moron. Next is Kendell. She lacks confidence. Next is out ringer, Camryn, no idea who she is or where she came from but she is on the main team at nationals and will probably take a solo from someone who deserves it. Then the seas part and the angels sing as Maddie is announced as the top of the pyramid.

Both teams are doing a group dance. Kendell got a solo! Chloe gets a solo! I guess Abby thinks her foot will keep her from beating Maddie. Oh no, Maddie is not doing a solo because she is doing Jimmy Kimmel and other stuff and won’t have time to learn a dance. Abby gives Nia’s solo to Camryn.Because, bitch. Maddie and her mother leave to go to Kimmel but not before Melissa kisses Abby on the cheek and says she wishes Abby could be there. Abby says she will be there later, so she is clearly not planning on rehearsing this team. You know Maddie has a routine ready for nationals and will be dancing. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Dance Concert Week

Dance Moms No Maddie TeamThis week is the annual dance concert. It’s not my favorite episode. I am shocked that Abby actually put Nia on the top of the pyramid. Sure she was the first place over all soloist of the entire competition, but it’s so unlike Abby to acknowledge Nia. There are a couple of non team members participating in the group dance including CHRISTy’s kid Sarah. At least for now. The concert is a tribute to Abby’s mother.

The group dance is basically everyone doing 45 seconds of their own choreography as an audition for a solo at nationals. Abby is bringing two soloist to nationals. Once will be Maddie and Kendell, Chloe and Nia will have to fight it out for the other slot.

The last competition that Chloe won, Abby went to the judges and tried to convince them to give the win to this other kid that is dancing with them today. That’s a new level of asshattery for Miss Abby. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap! Nia Gets A Solo!

Dance Moms Nia Maya

I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms and last night my DVR picked up the Choreographer’s cut of the episode it refused to film previous so I am going to start with that one first. The last episode I saw, Holly went off on Abby for saying  things about Nia. She was threatening to take this weeks solo away. Holly is still going at Abby. Good for her.

Time for pyramid. The girls are reminded that the group solo from the previous competition was removed because of their mother’s behavior. That is a total lie. We also have a new mom and a new Sarah even though nationals are just two short weeks away. This makes no sense. There really was no pyramid because only Maddie performed.

This new kid Sarah gets a solo. Kendall will be doing the routine that Maddie did last week. Nia is getting a solo and will be working with other dance instructors. Nia’s routine is a tribute to Maya Angelou. I love Maya Angelou , but I hate that Abby only gives Nia ethnic roles and she doesn’t get to grow in other areas. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: The Understudies

Dance Moms Tribal Council

Nia danced the lead in the winning group dance last week. Will she make the top of the pyramid? I’m not holding my breath. We go straight to pyramid. Kendell had a small issue with the group dance. She owned it and Abby moved on to Chloe. Chloe was “fine.” Mackenzie is next because she didn’t win her solo. Next is NIA. Because Abby is a horrible, horrible person.  Maddie is on top. Because, Maddie.

The Candy Apples will be at competition and Maddie was supposed to do  a solo against Gino. So Kendall and Chloe will understudy her solo because it looks like Maddie may be called away on another assignment. Maddie will be the lead on the group competition and if she gone they will do the routine without a lead because no one compares to Maddie and they may as well all give up.

The moms begin to keep a tally of put downs for the girls versus compliments for Maddie. Abby is not thrilled with the tally board. Continue reading

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Dance Moms: No More Cry Babies!

Dance Moms Tribal Council

We begin with CHRISTy bringing Sarah in for a regular lesson. Abby and her choreographer are at the front desk. She tells Abby that Sarah dancing is really improving and despite Abby not liking CHRISTy, she should give Sarah a second look. So CHRISTy is back with Sarah just in time for the pyramid.

This week is not a pyramid, it’s a totem pole in honor of this week’s theme. On the bottom of the totem pole is Nia. Because, she’s Nia. Mackenzie,  Kendall, Tia, Chloe she was almost nice to Chloe. And of course, Maddie is on top.

Mackenzie has a blues solo entitled Out of My Mind.  Sarah is doing a lyrical routine to On My Own. Tea gets a musical theatre piece called No Crybabies.  The three ten and under are competing for a solo at Nationals. Ava will be competing against Mackenzie and Tea in the 10-12 age bracket. This technically means that Sarah could win her group and one of the other two girls could still win 10-12.

The group number is “and ethnic piece” called Tribal Council. Abby pulls a headdress out of thin air in the most bizarre editing to date. As soon as I heard the word “ethnic” knew this was going to be Nia’s group number to win or lose. Sure enough Abby gives Nia the lead. If they lose it will all fall on Nia’s shoulders. If they win, it will be because Maddie was in the number. We know how this goes by now. The dance incorporates jazz, modern, acrobatics, gymnastics and contemporary. Sarah and Tia will not be in the group routine, just the elite team. Continue reading

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