Category Archives: Dance Moms

Saturday Classic Video : Abby Lee Miller

This video is two years old but it is interesting to watch because it’s a clandestine video of Abby’s Master Class with the girls. Kids were allowed to video parts of the event but NOT the questions and answers. I’m not sure whether it says more about Abby or  um “kids today.”

Since humans have been having offspring, each generation seems to be a big fat disappointment. I shudder to think what the young lady who filmed this will find fault with in her offspring in a decade or too.

I think it is time to give up on our species. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Wild, Wild West Coast Part 2

When last we left Dance Moms,  Abby Lee had shown up to ruin everyone’s fun at the Matty B video shoot.  We back up a bit to the point were everyone was happy for a change and the video was being shot and everyone is having fun. Of course, Abby is not going to let this happen. Abby is pulling Mackenzie from the video. Matty’s manager tries to tell Melissa that Abby is an idiot in the nicest possible way. He seems irked that Abby was messing up a video shoot that was going well.

Sidenote: Am I the only one obsessed with the Luis Vuitton bag this season? There seems to be one bag and it is in most every scene but it is carried by a different person each week. I first noticed it when Nia was carrying it. It didn’t seem to be something that Holly would buy for Nia. Then each week someone else is carrying it or it is placed near the ladies. Sorry. I just find it odd. It’s apparently product placement, but it’s like a game of hot potato with the product placement. Watch for it next week. This week it seemed to be nearest to Jill.

Anyway Abby gets on the phone with who?  Who is she consulting about this? An attorney? Afterward she tells the mom that this is a problem for all the kids not just the special snowflake “pop star” Mackenzie. Matty B’s manager says they are going to shoot the video and if any of THE MOMS want THEIR KIDS in the video they should let him know. Then Abby says in a talking head she will see which moms are loyal to her.  The new, kid,  Brynn’s mom, who is only there for the week anyway says Brynn doesn’t have a name, she’s just a dancer, so… Abby says , “She’ll probably always just be a dancer with that attitude.”   Jill and Melissa are quick to pull their kids to appease Abby. Jill says she wants Kendall to do it but she has to go back to Pittsburgh and doesn’t want to have to deal with the wrath of Abby. Holly says she doesn’t want Nia to walk off the set. Jo Jo’s mom says the same thing. Abby is pissed because Holly is the only original team member who stayed to film. Abby says once again Holly stabbed her in the back. Continue reading


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Australia Wants No Part of Abby Lee Miller And Whatever is Left of the ALDC

Dance Moms Abby Meltdown

Abby Lee Miller’s increasingly bizarre behavior and abusive teaching methods is causing international repercussions. Several Australian news outlets are reporting that Australian dance studios and teachers are banding together to ask that Abby Lee’s visa be revoked for her upcoming trip in March. The teachers have gained the support of Peter Oxford, the child ambassador for the Australian dance industry.  Oxford, claims he has received complaints about Abby’s teaching methods. According to Oxford,  Abby’s abrasive and abusive tactics used to coach dancers is in breach of Australian child employment laws.  Oxford also is the president of the biggest dance competition in Australia.

If you recall at the beginning of this season the girls talked about going all over the globe doing master classes and meet and greets with Abby. Oxford says that he received numerous complaints  from teachers and parents. Some outlets claim that the $200+ dollar tickets were the main cause of complaints.

Season Five Spoilers after the jump! Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Wild, Wild West Coast Part One

Dance moms jo jo bow

It’s the last week in Hollywood, which I still don’t understand since so much was made of Abby moving Dance Moms to Hollywood.  The title this week is a part one so I can only assume that we are in for a long week. Abby seems quasi sane in the first few seconds of this episode.  Maddy is absent this week because she is filming that Disney show in a one episode guest appearance.  Jo Jo with the Bow Bow claps the same fake happy clap as the other girls. Only Mackenzie looks half way believable and she is hardly enthusiastic.

Speaking of hardly enthusiastic, the mothers can’t even pretend to welcome Sarah who is from Kalani’s old studio and  Brynn, also from that studio to the group.  Kira is furious with Abby from bringing her nemeses from her old studio on the show. It’s like how Teresa Giudice felt when her fambly was brought on to RHONJ and she wasn’t the only special snowflake at Thanksgiving anymore.

Which means that Abby doesn’t need, Jo Jo with the Bow Bow anymore. She puts her just about Nia who didn’t participate last week on the bottom.  Her stupid mother starts talking about what a good job she did last week. Abby goes in on her face, her not watching the movie Carrie like she was supposed to and tells Jo Jo not to cry. We might have all been good at that point but then Jo Jo had to open her mouth to say, “Well if you’re going to yell at me, I’m going to cry!” and in one clean take Jo Jo and her mama are on their previously scheduled  flight back to wherever they come from.  Or not. It looks like her mama is going to make her apologize to keep her on the show. Jo Jo has no clue what she has done wrong. Her mother has not taught her how to interact with adults and that Abby is not her peer. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Nia Risks It All

Dance moms Abby

We begin at yet another new studio where the girls are supposed to have practice in LA this week. Both the moms and the girls are just hoping Abby shows up at this point.

Holly makes plans with Aubrey O’Day to cut a single with Nia. Holly has her pimp hat on this episode.

Sadly, Abby does show up and although she has brushed her hair and put on some make-up her attitude has not changed.  Abby says she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for why she was in jail not there last week.  Holly has a nuclear meltdown on Abby calling her a liar several times. Then she yells at the other moms for being cowards. This is all very unnecessary. All the moms except for Maddie’s need to leave ALDC with their kids at this point. It’s a joke.

Holly leaves the room and begins sobbing to a producer. She is done. She can’t take this any more. She deserves better. Her little girl deserves betted. Nia is packing up her shit in a Louis Vuitton bag.

Meanwhile, Abby calls Aubrey and says that Holly just threw a tantrum. Basically, she is trying to sabotage Nia’s chance to sing in the studio with Aubrey. Abby seems to think Holly and Nia went behind her back to try to use one of her friends. WTF is wrong with Abby. Seriously? This isn’t normal asshole Abby, this is either hormonal rage Abby or drugged up on something Abby or having a psychotic episode Abby. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Holly Takes Nia To The Recording Studio

Tomorrow on Dance Moms, Holly and Nia skip a rehearsal to head to the studio so Nia can work on a single, Star of Your Own Life. Abby has been managing Kendall as she shot a video for her single, Wear ‘Em Out.  Abby is non too pleased that Nia chose to shoot her video with Aubrey O’Day rather than be subjected to Abby’s constant criticism of her. I wish she was working with anyone other than Aubry O’Day, but at least she is working.

Of course Abby has a fit and jerks Nia out of the group dance for this week. I hope they lose without her. Is that wrong?


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Dance Moms Recap: Hello Hollywood, Goodbye Abby

Dance Moms Abby MeltdownTime for another week of menopausal Abby. This week, the ALDC has moved to Hollywood and the stress turns out to be too much for Abby.  Abby has decided to move everyone to Hollywood before her studio is ready. Why?  She rented some studio space and seems perplexed that there are other (very good) dancers at the location.  Abby calls “her attorney” from the car and informs the moms to step away.  They haven’t even gotten in the building yet and Abby is melting down. The moms go in and get their studio cleared out and the girls start warming up. Oh and Jo Jo  and her mom have crashed the party.

Meanwhile, in a studio across town a local dance group is preparing to beat the ALDC in a this weekend’s competition. The ALDC kids in the studio with their thumbs up their asses waiting on Abby. Abby calls from THE PARKING LOT and says she isn’t coming in because she just can’t work in that space. She’s going to look for another one. Oh and the girls have some sort of mysterious audition in the morning.

The next day, Gianna shows up in the same studio as the day before to do the dance choreography. Abby has only one solo this week for Maddie.  This week the group dance is a boring lyrical. The moms want something edgier for the west coast. For some reason, Kalani’s mom is the new point of contact between Abby and the moms. Why doesn’t Melissa have any information?  Abby calls to say she may have to fly home due to problems at home. Um, her mother is dead, she has no family, friends or even a dog in Pittsburgh anymore. What could she need to take care of back home? Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Hell No To the Jo Jo!

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

We start  Dance Moms with some sad news. Nia’s grandfather is very ill. She is very concerned about leaving Pittsburgh because he could die while she is gone. Abby was very sweet to Nia. Shocking but true.

This week, Jo Jo with the Bow Bow is back. Abby is pissed as all Billy Hell that ALDC came in second in the group dance. Holly tries to tell Abby how to prioritize her tasks. Because, apparently Holly has lost her ever-loving mind this season.  Actually, the tea I heard was that Holly was asked to resign from her school district because the show reflected poorly on the system. Now she can afford to go full throttle. This may be the real Holly.

On to the pyramid. Nia is on the very bottom of the pyramid because she was the leader of the group dance that came in at first loser. For this she must be punished. However, last week when Maddie came in second over all for her solo, Abby told her it was good for her to lose sometimes because it is motivating. No difference in treatment there. Actually, Nia did a great job in the group dance. Next is Kendall. Bad feet.  Next is Kalani. Abby says she stood out in the group number but did encourage everyone else to rise to her level. Next is Maddie WHO WAS NOT THERE AT ALL!  Yet,  Abby still places her above three other dancers. Next is Jo Jo! Above Maddie! Jo Jo’s mom immediately asks if they are going to LA with Abby. Abby stutters out, “Not…right now.” Then some bitchfest breaks out between the moms and Kalani’s mom starts talking about Jo Jo calling up clothing companies saying she was going to be on ALDC and needed free stuff and they sent it to her and she bragged about it. What’s the problem with that again? She’s 11. I doubt she is picking up the phone, her mother is doing it. And Kalani’s  mom is mocking Jo Jo’s speech impediment saying, “I got this for fwee! I got that for fwee!”  That’s just crappy. Almost as crappy as Jo Jo’s mom not getting her to a speech therapist so she can pronounce “crappy.” Mackenzie is at the top for winning her division with her solo. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Abby Got Served

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1



Last week on Dance Moms,  Abby was beginning to break down over Paige’s lawsuit against her.  This is a separate case from her mother Kelly’s on going lawsuit. Abby was upset that the media was at her home.

The very first thing that happens is that Abby is served with a subpoena to appear in court by Kelly. I believe this is the civil suit.  It could be the criminal one.  And they made sure to do it at her studio while Dance Moms was filming. Abby is crying and upset. She wants to make a statement to the press. Holly tries hard to talk her down off of that cliff. Holly looks fantastic like she might have done work done. The moms convince Abby to come back in and go on with rehearsal.

At pyramid, Kalani is not there. This is the second time Kalani has been late. Holly is pissed that Abby doesn’t punish Kalani for being late.  Mackenzie was on the bottom of the for not being weird enough in the group dance. Maddie was next. MADDIE WAS NEXT!  Abby says she was just a twin with Kendall nothing special. This seems to me to indicate Melissa has done something to piss Abby off.  Nia is next but she gets compliments from Abby for her solo and her group dance efforts. Next is Kendall. I did not like her solo and think she should have place below Nia. On the top is Kalani for having the highest scoring solo.  Oh I get it now. She is trying to make Maddie think she has some competition. Continue reading


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Maddie Ziegler Dances With Shia LaBeouf in New Sia Video, Elastic Heart

Maddie Ziegler of Dance Moms fame has another starring role in Sia’s latest video, Elastic Heart.  Maddie’s co-star in the video is Shia LaBeouf. Now there is and interesting choice. I guess this means Shia is ready to be famous again. Elastic Heart is from the same autobiographical body of work in which Sia explores difficulties in her past.  In Chandelier, the first video that Maddie did with Sia,  the topic of addiction was the theme. In  Elastic Heart, the artist explores her difficult relationship with her father who some say also had difficulty with addiction and mental health issues.



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Dance Moms Recap: What A Freak Show!

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

I am so excited that Dance Moms is back. I cannot get enough Abby Lee Miller. I know, it’s a sickness. Don’t judge me.

OMG! I almost skipped the girl talk pre-show where the dancers all talk without Abby or the moms around, but I took a peek and already the girls are spilling the tea. It seems that Abby wants to move the studio to Hollywood because she has a BOYFRIEND in LA.  I thought it was just for media whoredom’s sake.

First of all, I didn’t even recognize Mackenzie. She is not a little girl anymore!  Kendall, Maddie, McKenzie and Nia have been traveling all over Europe and Australia with Abby teaching master classes. They all seemed really excited about the opportunities. Abby’s boyfriend was on the trip. Kendall accidentally let his name slip out and they bleeped it.

Chloe is not there and the host asks where she is. The girls all say she has been doing stuff on her own with her mom. They’ve all tried texting her and she doesn’t text them back. They don’t know what is going on or if she will be on the show. The girls are hurt that Chloe has blocked some of them on Instagram.

JoJo with the Bow Bow from the Abby Lee Dance Competition comes out. She is still trying to get on the team. I’m going to assume we are stuck with her this season. I hate her speech problem.

On with the show! Continue reading


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