Category Archives: Dance Moms

Dance Moms Reunion: Playing Favorites

Tribal Council

Tribal Council

I wasn’t expecting this since we had a reunion before the season. I still don’t understand why that happened. Let’s see if this is worth watching.  Abby is out by herself first to a tepid welcome by the audience (at least I didn’t hear any boos.)  The host congratulates her on her fourth consecutive win at nationals. He then points out that Chloe was the highest scored in the solo competition and she came in fifth, Camryn 6th and Kendall 9th.  Abby makes a face and says there was a lot of competition in the solo division and she opted not to have Maddie dance. I still don’t think we know the real reason why Maddie didn’t dance. She also said that Jill has said forever that if Kendall got the choreography that Maddie got, she would win, so she gave it to her and she came in 9th. Abby says that it just proves that Maddie is the only who can when.

Time for the Maddie one on one. Will the other kids get on? I doubt it. Maddie explains that Sia contacted her on twitter and a week later she was there in a week and learned the dance in two hours. Yep, the fame is going to her head.

Holly comes out looking gorgeous in a yellow dress. They have the same discussion they had all summer. Abby’s favoritism toward Maddie is to the detriment of the other dancers. Montage of same argument over and over. Abby laughs through the whole thing. The team performs Tribal Council with Nia in the lead. It’s of course my favorite group dance of the season. Nia rocked it! Continue reading

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Chloe Lukasiak Gives a Wordless Response To Last Night’s Dance Moms Finale

Through Just For Kix dance clothing line’s #NobodyIsYou campaign. So pretty.


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Dance Mom Season Finale: Worst Finale Ever?

Dance Moms Gypsies

Yay! I managed to make it to the finale without some numnut  spoiling it for me! The number of people on the Internet who feel the need to explain Google to me on a daily basis can be mind-boggling. I truly think some people think they are the only one’s who have access to Google. Anyway, let’s get on with the show.

We are still pretending Maddie is not going to have a solo. At nationals. It one day until nationals and the farce remains. I hate the Amber Alert dance. Abby says the routine is still a hot mess. The select time is told the need to win to stay.  Then Abby threatens the soloist, Camryn, Chloe, and Kendall. Chloe’s choreography is still mediocre.  Oh look, here comes Maddie solo. Abby is already setting them up for it.

The Amber Alert dance is crap. Abby pulls Maddie and tells her to “go work on her solo.”  And there it is.

Abby loves Camryn and is treating her nicely and working with her a lot. She really wants her to beat Chloe. Oh yeah, Abby just walked in and told Camryn if she didn’t beat “that kid” and then makes the knife slitting throat gesture. Kendall’s solo looks good and Abby is pleased.  Chloe’s rehearsal is not the best. Chloe’s self-esteem is beaten down. She’s lost her desire. Chloe’s mom is a bitch to her too.

Cathy arrives to Nationals and passes out apples to everyone outside who hold them up like trophies when Abby and crew arrive. Priceless. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Nationals! We’re Going to Hollywood!

Dance Moms New SeasonThe team is in LA in a studio getting ready for pyramid. Abby is talking about how great she is and all of the opportunities the girls have when the B team and their obnoxious mothers waltz in. Holly is already asking WTF is going on.

Chloe is on the bottom because she did not dance due to injury. Her foot in miraculously healed. Next is Mackenzie! Abby has been upset with her lately. For several episodes she was the clear favorite, even above Maddie. Next is Nia, because Abby is a moron. Next is Kendell. She lacks confidence. Next is out ringer, Camryn, no idea who she is or where she came from but she is on the main team at nationals and will probably take a solo from someone who deserves it. Then the seas part and the angels sing as Maddie is announced as the top of the pyramid.

Both teams are doing a group dance. Kendell got a solo! Chloe gets a solo! I guess Abby thinks her foot will keep her from beating Maddie. Oh no, Maddie is not doing a solo because she is doing Jimmy Kimmel and other stuff and won’t have time to learn a dance. Abby gives Nia’s solo to Camryn.Because, bitch. Maddie and her mother leave to go to Kimmel but not before Melissa kisses Abby on the cheek and says she wishes Abby could be there. Abby says she will be there later, so she is clearly not planning on rehearsing this team. You know Maddie has a routine ready for nationals and will be dancing. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Dance Concert Week

Dance Moms No Maddie TeamThis week is the annual dance concert. It’s not my favorite episode. I am shocked that Abby actually put Nia on the top of the pyramid. Sure she was the first place over all soloist of the entire competition, but it’s so unlike Abby to acknowledge Nia. There are a couple of non team members participating in the group dance including CHRISTy’s kid Sarah. At least for now. The concert is a tribute to Abby’s mother.

The group dance is basically everyone doing 45 seconds of their own choreography as an audition for a solo at nationals. Abby is bringing two soloist to nationals. Once will be Maddie and Kendell, Chloe and Nia will have to fight it out for the other slot.

The last competition that Chloe won, Abby went to the judges and tried to convince them to give the win to this other kid that is dancing with them today. That’s a new level of asshattery for Miss Abby. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap! Nia Gets A Solo!

Dance Moms Nia Maya

I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms and last night my DVR picked up the Choreographer’s cut of the episode it refused to film previous so I am going to start with that one first. The last episode I saw, Holly went off on Abby for saying  things about Nia. She was threatening to take this weeks solo away. Holly is still going at Abby. Good for her.

Time for pyramid. The girls are reminded that the group solo from the previous competition was removed because of their mother’s behavior. That is a total lie. We also have a new mom and a new Sarah even though nationals are just two short weeks away. This makes no sense. There really was no pyramid because only Maddie performed.

This new kid Sarah gets a solo. Kendall will be doing the routine that Maddie did last week. Nia is getting a solo and will be working with other dance instructors. Nia’s routine is a tribute to Maya Angelou. I love Maya Angelou , but I hate that Abby only gives Nia ethnic roles and she doesn’t get to grow in other areas. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: The Understudies

Dance Moms Tribal Council

Nia danced the lead in the winning group dance last week. Will she make the top of the pyramid? I’m not holding my breath. We go straight to pyramid. Kendell had a small issue with the group dance. She owned it and Abby moved on to Chloe. Chloe was “fine.” Mackenzie is next because she didn’t win her solo. Next is NIA. Because Abby is a horrible, horrible person.  Maddie is on top. Because, Maddie.

The Candy Apples will be at competition and Maddie was supposed to do  a solo against Gino. So Kendall and Chloe will understudy her solo because it looks like Maddie may be called away on another assignment. Maddie will be the lead on the group competition and if she gone they will do the routine without a lead because no one compares to Maddie and they may as well all give up.

The moms begin to keep a tally of put downs for the girls versus compliments for Maddie. Abby is not thrilled with the tally board. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: No More Cry Babies!

Dance Moms Tribal Council

We begin with CHRISTy bringing Sarah in for a regular lesson. Abby and her choreographer are at the front desk. She tells Abby that Sarah dancing is really improving and despite Abby not liking CHRISTy, she should give Sarah a second look. So CHRISTy is back with Sarah just in time for the pyramid.

This week is not a pyramid, it’s a totem pole in honor of this week’s theme. On the bottom of the totem pole is Nia. Because, she’s Nia. Mackenzie,  Kendall, Tia, Chloe she was almost nice to Chloe. And of course, Maddie is on top.

Mackenzie has a blues solo entitled Out of My Mind.  Sarah is doing a lyrical routine to On My Own. Tea gets a musical theatre piece called No Crybabies.  The three ten and under are competing for a solo at Nationals. Ava will be competing against Mackenzie and Tea in the 10-12 age bracket. This technically means that Sarah could win her group and one of the other two girls could still win 10-12.

The group number is “and ethnic piece” called Tribal Council. Abby pulls a headdress out of thin air in the most bizarre editing to date. As soon as I heard the word “ethnic” knew this was going to be Nia’s group number to win or lose. Sure enough Abby gives Nia the lead. If they lose it will all fall on Nia’s shoulders. If they win, it will be because Maddie was in the number. We know how this goes by now. The dance incorporates jazz, modern, acrobatics, gymnastics and contemporary. Sarah and Tia will not be in the group routine, just the elite team. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Chloe Gets Revenge

Dance Moms Ava Cota

I already love the title of this episode, Chloe Gets Revenge.  It’s about freakin’ time. We start with the Elite Team and the Select Team both in studio. The Select Team is pissed that Jade and her mother are standing with the Elite Team. Or jealousy may be a better term.

Pyramid time. Mackenzie is on the bottom because she was not in the number. That caused the group’s age group to put them in a tougher bracket. Next is Chloe. She placed 6th in her solo.  Nia is next Abby didn’t like her feet. Next is Jade, she came in 3rd at the last competition, she can be third on the pyramid. Next is Kendall she did well. Maddie is on the top because, she always is on top of the pyramid.

Ava from the Select team has a solo against Maddie. Ava’s solo is called “Drizzle.” Maddie’s solo has a song written especially for her by someone called “Happiness.”  Chloe gets kicked down to the Select Team. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Sacre Bleu!

Dance Moms New Season

This week Jade is back to dance for a week . Not much chit-chat before we go straight to pyramid. We have Chloe on the bottom because Abby openly despises her. Chloe came in second. For this she must be emotionally flogged.  Next is Nia. Nia came in fourth and was in my opinion robbed. If she had done that same routine in a civilized costume and not encumbered by a fucking dog leash, she could have won. Next is Mackenzie. This shocking as she is the favorite.  Maddie is next. Kendell actually gets the top of the pyramid! She had the overall high score last week.

This week is a very large competition. Studio Bleu will be there and they are major competition. Abby has decided to save the dance she originally wanted for nationals. She doesn’t think they will win at this competition. This is a strange move even for Abby. They have no group choreography ready to go for one of the biggest competitions of the season.

Chloe and Jade both have solos. Abby is only working with Jade. Chloe rehearses alone.

Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Give Me Face Like Maddie!

Dance Moms Gypsies

I really need a break from race wars and suicides and felons by bravo so I thought, “What better than to recap Dance Moms, a lovely little show about crushing the souls of little girls?” This week Maddie is in LA doing the Ellen show and doing the dance she did for the  SIA video.  So who will be able to step up to the plate and win in Maddie’s absence?

Pyramid time. Maddie on the bottom because she is not there. Chloe is next because she fell in the group dance. Nia was next because Abby hates her and because her ballet needs work. Next was Sarah. Abby said she was a beat behind. Dumbass CHRISTy had to pipe up and say, “not true.”.  Mackenzie was “too short.” lol So somehow Kendall gets to be on top of the pyramid.

Abby needs a lead for the group dance but she hasn’t decided who it is yet. Three solos are available. One for Kendall, Nia gets a jazz route called “underdog.” Chloe gets a contemporary called “I should have known. CHRISTy goes off on Abby for Sarah not getting a solo. Abby threatens to cut Sarah from the group routine.

The group routine is Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves. It seems dumb already. Kendall seems to get the lead, but we all know that when Maddie comes back, she will probably take it. Yep. Abby is already threatening that very thing. Maddie is back and Abby is going to have Maddie assist the three soloist by critiquing them and giving feedback. Abby threatens to give Maddie Kendall’s solo. Maddie already learned the solo before leaving for LA. How convenient. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Kiss or Get Off the Pot!

Abby Lee

I am so behind on recapping lately. Mostly it’s because I have been SOFA KING tired lately. I blame the weather. It’s been either 100 degrees or 85 and rainy. Also, Big Brother has really thrown my sleep schedule, if I ever had one, off.  I am going to try to get through Dance Moms without nodding off. I just made coffee and am going in.

Oh my god from the previews alone I am excited. This week the stupid B team has been allowed to go back to wherever they actually live.  But since Sarah and her nightmare mother CHRISTy are local, Sarah is going to be allowed to dance with the elite team. IF CHRISTy can keep her big mouth shut. At pyramid, Abby lays into the girls for losing twice in a row. She said they were poor losers.

We begin pyramid with Chloe on the bottom. She had some bad turns. But really at the very bottom Abby? Next is Maddie, this should not be nearly as surprising as it would have been last season. Maddie is not longer Abby’s favorite. Mackenzie is.  Christi is a bit giddy to see her on the bottom. Abby says Maddie is the team leader and when things go wrong everyone follows her lead. Next is Kendall, Abby searches for something to say about her. She goes with the fact that she was in the trio with Chloe’s sloppy turns. Because that is Kendall’s fault? Nia is second from the top but Abby tells her she is not flexible. Then her darling Mackenzie. Mackenzie had all sorts of issues last week. I started to wonder if this was a reverse order. Then I realized that she is being mean to all of them and putting all of them on the bottom so she can put stupid little Sarah alone on the top because she was in the winning group number. Oh, Abby. Continue reading


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