This week Jade is back to dance for a week . Not much chit-chat before we go straight to pyramid. We have Chloe on the bottom because Abby openly despises her. Chloe came in second. For this she must be emotionally flogged. Next is Nia. Nia came in fourth and was in my opinion robbed. If she had done that same routine in a civilized costume and not encumbered by a fucking dog leash, she could have won. Next is Mackenzie. This shocking as she is the favorite. Maddie is next. Kendell actually gets the top of the pyramid! She had the overall high score last week.
This week is a very large competition. Studio Bleu will be there and they are major competition. Abby has decided to save the dance she originally wanted for nationals. She doesn’t think they will win at this competition. This is a strange move even for Abby. They have no group choreography ready to go for one of the biggest competitions of the season.
Chloe and Jade both have solos. Abby is only working with Jade. Chloe rehearses alone.
I really need a break from race wars and suicides and felons by bravo so I thought, “What better than to recap Dance Moms, a lovely little show about crushing the souls of little girls?” This week Maddie is in LA doing the Ellen show and doing the dance she did for the SIA video. So who will be able to step up to the plate and win in Maddie’s absence?
Pyramid time. Maddie on the bottom because she is not there. Chloe is next because she fell in the group dance. Nia was next because Abby hates her and because her ballet needs work. Next was Sarah. Abby said she was a beat behind. Dumbass CHRISTy had to pipe up and say, “not true.”. Mackenzie was “too short.” lol So somehow Kendall gets to be on top of the pyramid.
Abby needs a lead for the group dance but she hasn’t decided who it is yet. Three solos are available. One for Kendall, Nia gets a jazz route called “underdog.” Chloe gets a contemporary called “I should have known. CHRISTy goes off on Abby for Sarah not getting a solo. Abby threatens to cut Sarah from the group routine.
The group routine is Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves. It seems dumb already. Kendall seems to get the lead, but we all know that when Maddie comes back, she will probably take it. Yep. Abby is already threatening that very thing. Maddie is back and Abby is going to have Maddie assist the three soloist by critiquing them and giving feedback. Abby threatens to give Maddie Kendall’s solo. Maddie already learned the solo before leaving for LA. How convenient. Continue reading
I am so behind on recapping lately. Mostly it’s because I have been SOFA KING tired lately. I blame the weather. It’s been either 100 degrees or 85 and rainy. Also, Big Brother has really thrown my sleep schedule, if I ever had one, off. I am going to try to get through Dance Moms without nodding off. I just made coffee and am going in.
Oh my god from the previews alone I am excited. This week the stupid B team has been allowed to go back to wherever they actually live. But since Sarah and her nightmare mother CHRISTy are local, Sarah is going to be allowed to dance with the elite team. IF CHRISTy can keep her big mouth shut. At pyramid, Abby lays into the girls for losing twice in a row. She said they were poor losers.
We begin pyramid with Chloe on the bottom. She had some bad turns. But really at the very bottom Abby? Next is Maddie, this should not be nearly as surprising as it would have been last season. Maddie is not longer Abby’s favorite. Mackenzie is. Christi is a bit giddy to see her on the bottom. Abby says Maddie is the team leader and when things go wrong everyone follows her lead. Next is Kendall, Abby searches for something to say about her. She goes with the fact that she was in the trio with Chloe’s sloppy turns. Because that is Kendall’s fault? Nia is second from the top but Abby tells her she is not flexible. Then her darling Mackenzie. Mackenzie had all sorts of issues last week. I started to wonder if this was a reverse order. Then I realized that she is being mean to all of them and putting all of them on the bottom so she can put stupid little Sarah alone on the top because she was in the winning group number. Oh, Abby. Continue reading
Oh crap. The stupid other team is back. If we have two teams all season, I will be pissed. I don’t like the other moms. I don’t like change. I only care about the girls I have been following for years. The Fat Bible Thumping Ogre Woman (FBTOW) really needs to go. She ran her mouth to get her kid taken out of the comp last season and she clearly hasn’t learned a thing. Send her packing for good, Abby. I can’t take a whole season of her.
It’s time for the focus on Maddie’s accomplishments portion of the show. Abby has Maddie explain she shot a video for Sia. If you missed it check that link, it’s worth a view. Kalani was not asked back? I am SHOCKED. Kira must have really pissed off Abby. Since Kalani is gone, Maddie is back on the original team.
Pyramid time. Kendell is on the bottom because she and Kalani got beat by two of the B team girls in the last competition. Next is Nia because Abby hates her. Next is Mackenzie, yet all Abby can say is how great she is as a pop princess, but her dancing needs work. Maddie is next. CHLOE IS ON TOP OF THE PYRAMID!!! Yay! But of course Abby has to say that two of the judges had the B-teamer higher than Chloe. Christy says there is a rumor going around that Abby confronted the judges and demanded to know how Chloe beat the B teamer. Just be quiet Christy. This will get you nowhere. Continue reading
Not to be outdone by Maddie, another kid from Dance Moms strutted her stuff as Little Beyoncé as she danced with Little Psy. Asia did this video on a talent show in Korea last May. The comments on Youtube are basically a bunch of people who are appalled.
We begin with Mrs. Miller dying. For women, the loss of a mother is one of the most difficult experiences in life. It focuses your understanding on the finite nature of life and makes you reevaluate your priorities. And Abby’s priority is sucking the life force out of her dancers and belittling them at pyramid. So let’s get started!
This week the girls strutted in wearing team jackets and looking like a cohesive team. Abby says it’s okay the lost last week and that they should probably have taken the week off. Maddie cries. And it’s time for pyramid. Last week Chloe danced a routine that had all the choreographic intricacy of the hokey pokey. Thus, she came in fifth. Abby knows full well this is not Chloe’s fault, because it is part of her diabolical plan to crush Chloe’s soul. Next is Nia. Because Abby hates Nia and doesn’t work with her individually. Abby’s feedback is a dismissive, “you still have a long way to go.” That is the kind of critique she is paying the big bucks for. Next is Kalani, because Abby has to hide her obsession with Kalani from Maddie. It’s like Maddie is Abby’s wife and Kalani is the exciting new side piece. That sounded a bit wrong. It was unintentional. Plus, if she places Kalani properly on the pyramid she will have to go against Maddie, and she would likely beat her. Abby will not allow that. Abby tells Kalani, “You were beautiful in the group. You’re kind of just…there.” Next is Kendall. Mostly because she did not win her solo. Then there is the chosen one. Followed by Mackenzie, because she did a video! Did she even dance at all last week? It doesn’t matter. This pyramid has never been about the girls’ dance performance. Continue reading
It’s time for another episode of Dance Moms. I’m sorry, but I really am going to need for Mrs. Miller to die on this episode. I think it is fine to acknowledge her passing on the show as she was a part of Dance Moms. However, I simply can’t deal with the play by play of each moment of her death. We are already starting with Melissa coming in to let Abby know that she been to see Mrs. Miller. For the love of God can we get on with the pyramid and the bashing of little girls?
Abby congratulations the girls on their 13 straight wins. Then she asks, “Is that time for your teacher to celebrate? Or time for your teacher to get tough?” I think we all know the answer to that. When Maddie had a long winning streak, there was cake and unicorns. But since this is the group on a winning streak there will be gruel and dragons. Next week “the new team” arrives. Will we finally see Thalia? In other things I could care less about news, Mackenzie is shooting her video for her song, Girl Party. Continue reading
Before I start blogging I try to do the tagging and the categories (seen below each post, that y’all probably don’t ever even use) because once the blog is done I am so ready to just get it up. As I was doing that now I notice the tag for Thalia. Remember how they did a weird pre-reunion show before this season? Kelly and her girls were on it. That now seems weird. And there was a girl named Thalia that got a solo on that show. That was also weird. Where the hell is Thalia on this season?
On to a down and dirty Dance Moms recap. I am actually starting to have A LIFE and need to get to that shortly! Let’s start with the soul crushing pyramid. There really wasn’t a pyramid. Kalani was on top for her winning solo. Everyone else is even because the all kept dancing when they could not hear the music. Peyton was dismissed from the group last week. Continue reading
It’s once again time for Pyramid after that debacle with the drag queen routine last week. I still cannot believe that dance won. I fully expect to see Mackenzie at the top of the pyramid where Peyton should be. Oh wait, Abby is announcing the permanent replacements for Brooke and Paige. Kalani and Peyton are both there so now we know. But wait. Abby can’t do anything the proper way. She puts Kalani on the team permanently (AKA for the rest of Season 4) but not Peyton who was the lead dancer last week and was told if they didn’t win all responsibility would fall on her. Peyton’s mom has a meltdown.
It’s time for pyramid, where Abby crushes little girls’ dreams and wounds their psyches. On the bottom is Kalani because she is new. Which is odd because Kalani is Abby’s little favored one, just below Maddie, and last week or the week before some new kid started in the middle of the pyramid. Next is Kendall because she did not save her tears for her pillow. Wait, Abby says it was because she was just going through the motions. Next, is Nia, because Abby hates Nia. Abby says she was outstanding last week, but she was the one with previous experience. What? Nia was a drag queen before? Who knew? Rounding out the bottom is Chloe because Abby has a voodoo doll of her mother at home and sticks needles straight through her heart on a daily basis. But she says it is because she got beat by a nine year old in the overalls. Mackenzie is next which shocks me because Abby was gaga over Mackenzie’s performance in group dance. Her reason? She was not Maddie. Next up is Maddie! Is it possible Peyton will get the top of the pyramid finally? Could it be? Well, Peyton is next but it seems like that is everyone and it was not the top spot. Whatever, she is ahead of Maddie. She put Kelly on top of the pyramid as a joke, and as a way to crush Peyton’s soul. Continue reading
First of all the Choreographer’s Cut stuff is ruining my ability to DVR actual new episodes, my Tuesday night does not have the room for two hours of Lifetime! Also, we are a full four minutes in to the recording and the show is just now starting after 3 different Next Week…Previously on..Coming Up on.. so I’m quite sure this will cut off before the winners are announced. There are supposed to be three minutes of commercial at the end of the show! This is so the DVR doesn’t get cut off before the end, and so everyone has a potty break before the next show starts. This is how we do it in America, Lifetime. Get with the program. /end rant
It’s time for the dreaded pyramid AKA squashing everyone’s self-esteem (except Maddie of course) right before learning a new routine. Let’s see who gets the brunt of Abby’s hormonal wrath this week… One the bottom was Mackenzie who didn’t go to the competition. I didn’t even notice that did I? Next up is Nia, her face was supposed to be envious, and it was something other than that. Um, okay.
Next up is Peyton. WHO? What? When was the last time we saw Peyton. Now I wish I had not just deleted my four thousand copies of last weeks episode. I can’t recall the last time Peyton was there. Mackenzie is last because she wasn’t there, but Peyton is above Nia who was there when Peyton hasn’t been there for WEEKS? IDGI. Am I just confused? I have a headache and maybe I am just not thinking clearly but this is the most bizarre thing in pyramid history to me. Even more bizarre is Peyton bursting into tears and walking out because Abby called her a crybaby. She calls her that all the time because she cries a lot. Peyton is 16 years old. She should be used to it by now. Her mother goes after her and Peyton is pissed because none of the mothers stood up for her. She says if Abby talked to Maddie that way then the mothers would have defended her. Um, well, Maddie never cries and is pretty much perfect so Abby would never say that. Her mother says that she (Peyton) is the one who keeps wanting to come back to ALDC when she has tried to get her to go elsewhere. I am not buying this whole scene especially now that Abby is going after her rather than continuing with pyramid. Peyton sobs and tells Abby how much she loves dancing at her studio. And back into pyramid we all go.
Next up is Chloe, Abby says nice things. To Chloe. But of course then she tells her if she were home schooled like Maddie she would be improving a lot faster. /Heavy Sigh. Chloe smiles and nods. Next is Maddie. She was perfect in every way. Amazing. A shrine should be erected in her honor and her birthday should be a national holiday. Kendall is on top of the pyramid. It’s a Christmas miracle! Kendall won the technique award and Abby liked that because Abby takes that to mean that she is doing something right. So, be thankful to Abby, Kendall that she taught you well. Aren’t you lucky. Continue reading
I haven’t posted about Dance Moms in a while, and I’m not sure I have a whole lot to say about the show now, but I thought y’all might have some thoughts to share.
Kalani seems like a level headed girl who knows how to play Abby’s game. She just needs to keep performing well and wait for Abby to get pissed at Maddie over something so they can battle it out head to head. He mother on the other hand has to learn that going behind Abby’s back with bring the wrath of Abby like she has never seen. So this week Kalani was not asked to participate.
Can we talk about the pre-reunion show this season? I assumed that was filmed after the season itself wrapped but since Kelli was there and Brooke sang a solo, maybe it was filmed before the season was? I thought the whole reunion BEFORE the season was weird. Where is that Thalia girl was on the pre show? We have not seen her at all yet. Continue reading
On this week’s Dance Mom’s Abby Lee is in LA with McKenzie so that she can release her first single. Which would make sense if Abby was a manager and McKenzie could sing. But let us put all of that aside and see how things go. Poor thing. Perhaps a lot of autotune will help.
Maddie is in LA because she booked a job of some sort. Meanwhile, back at the pyramid, Abby says she needs someone who can be her Maddie when Maddie is not there. Nia is at the bottom of the pyramid because her head piece slipped during her solo last week. Kendell is next. Her duet with Kalani came in second behind Maddie and Chloe’s duet that they had worked on since booty camp last summer. So, um that makes sense. Kalani is next on the pyramid. Chloe is next even though her duet with Maddie won. Because Abby hates Chloe and her mother, Kristi. Mackenzie is next because Abby said she was outstanding with the candy box. Whatever. And Maddie is on top of the pyramid because Abby adores her.
Mackenzie has a jazz/gymnastics solo this week. Kalani is getting a solo and so is Chloe. Abby has the girls to an improve dance off to see who will be “Maddie” in the group dance. Kendell wins because the Moms voted and could not vote for their own kid. Chloe came in second. Continue reading