Category Archives: Dance Moms

Dance Moms Down Under Recap: Abby Blows Her Stack

Abby Lee

The girls and moms are all in Australia and Abby has lost her wallet with her passport, license, and credit cards in LA.  Abby can’t get to Australia!  That doesn’t stop her from fucking things up thought. She is dropping a bomb on the girls before they even get out of the airport that only Maddie is going to dance.  Abby says that Nia and JoJo were never invited to Australia. Wow. This is bad, even for Abby.

Holly says she is trying to put a concert together for Nia. Jess has decided not to do anything with JoJo and just enjoy the trip. She looked at putting some things together for Jo Jo but due to the dance community in Australia banding together to try and have Abby’s visa denied, Jess wants to disassociate Jo Jo from the ALDC.

Abby is saying horrible things on the phone in front of the girls. She is being a bitch to the camera man in the car with her also.  She is full blown bitch mode. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Showdown in Pittsburgh Part 2

Dance Moms Group Dance

The thing about Dance Moms is that even though it becomes more and more scripted every week, at least these people knew each other and were arguing before the cameras ever showed up. Tonight’s recap is the final half of the season finale. If you missed last week you can catch it here.  The first part of the finale was all about the convention and Nia’s video premiere. Tonight, we have the competition between ALDC, Candy Apples and the Detroit Team.  Nia, Holly, Jo Jo and Jess are the only ones who have arrived at the competition. Holly is convinced something is going on behind her back.

Apparently Abby got special permission for the other girls to arrive late due to their commitments at JUMP! the dance convention. I have no idea why Nia and Jo Jo have been excluded from that appearance.

The competition confronts Holly, Jess who are joined by Jill and Michelle about where the rest of the team is. Jess blabs the whole story to the ENEMY and Holly chimes in with her two cents. Abby walks up and Jess and Holly get in to a verbal sparring match with Abby right in front of the ENEMY making their whole lives complete. What a bunch of idiots. Handle the conflict in private. Abby basically says that Holly stabbed her in the back and that is why she was excluded. Jill tells Holly to shut her mouth in front of the ENEMY and Holly claps back with, ” Don’t tell me what to do!” Well, Holly, somebody needs to put you in check. You’re embarrassing yourself and ALDC.  Holly and Jess stomp off like two little brats. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Showdown in Pittsburgh Part 1

Dance Moms Group Dance

The ladies return to Pittsburgh for what they think is going to be their last Pitssburgh pyramid. As one of them says, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  Despite the weather they are glad to be back home on their normal routines with their families. Despite only being back for one week, we have a competition, a huge dance convention, and Nia’s video premiere party.

Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid for crying. Nia is on the bottom row as well. Because, Nia.  Blah, blah, blah, Maddie is on top. She danced at the Grammys.

WTF is going on with Melissa’s hair in her talking heads?

Kendall and Kalani get solos. Abby is going to do a really dark group number about plane crashes and dead people and such. Kalani’s solo is called “Bleeding Out” and she will have fake glass and blood all over her.  Ugh. Kendall is basically doing her video choreography for he solo.

The Candy Apples are back this episode and so are the scenes with Cathy and Vivi, which I have so much to say about, but it would not be polite. There group dance this week is about Vivi getting her citizenship.

Jeanette and Ava are back with a dance group. Are they the ALDC B squad or the ALDC rejects? I forget. Ava is getting a lot of air time. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Video Killed the ALDC Star

Dance Moms Abby JoJo

This is the last west coast episode and the competition is judged by kids!  Nia and Kendall shoot their videos. Abby and Holly are butting heads over the videos.  Abby remains pissed and vindictive about Nia doing her video with Aubrey O’Day.

JoJo and Kendall are doing solos. Mackenzie is “sick” and I think Maddie is going to the Grammys. So my guess is Mackenzie is going to the Grammys.

Abby is in love with Kendall. She is planning to have her replace Maddie when Maddie flies the coop. Nia on the other hand asks Abby to come to her video shoot. I don’t think she should have asked her. Abby just only wants to sabotage.  But Aubrey  O’Day is like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.  I cannot stand her.  I even mean blogged about her when she was on Celebrity Apprentice. I would much rather work with Abby than Aubrey.

Between the two videos, Nia has a big name hair stylist and another big named makeup artist. Nia is loving all the attention and looks in credible. Aubrey points out that she can’t stand Abby. No surprise. Aubrey hates everyone.  Abby says that Nia’s image has been changed so much. She is furious. Mostly because Nia looks great and Holly put them on social media. Everyone in Nia’s camp is super supportive. Nia has a million costume changes and they are all fantastic. Nia’s actual video is not easily found on YouTube if it is there. But there is video of her performing the song in Australia last month.  Kendall’s video is on YouTube.

Kendall is struggling in her solo rehearsal and Abby is riding her hard. Jo Jo’s dance is in a straight jacket. I am not kidding. Continue reading

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Dance Moms: Maddie v Kalani

Dance Moms Group Dance

I don’t have time to do an in-depth recap of this show but it’s almost time for RHOA and I still haven’t gotten a chance to do it so here is a slap dash one.   The title says it all. Kalani finally gets a chance to take a whack at Maddie. I can’t believe Abby is allowing this.

At pyramid, Abby is thrilled they won with their group dance but she puts Nia on the bottom for daring to come in a meager third with her solo. Shockingly, Mackenzie and Maddie join her at the bottom. Melissa must have pissed Abby off. And she is mad about her technical ability being called out last week. Abby seems pleased with Kalani and Kendall is at the top for winning the overall high score.  Kendall is also working her video this week.

Maddie’s solo is lyrical. Kalani’s is contemporary. The group dance is also contemporary. Maddie will be out one day of rehearsal to perform on Ellen. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Showdown Between Nia and Kendall

Dance Moms Group Dance

I did not like these outfits.

 

We are back in L.A. and Abby still does not have a studio. I guess that was all a storyline.  Melissa is explaining to the ladies that Mackenzie went with Abby to look at studios the day before but it is just going to take time. Wait, is she looking at studios? Is she waiting for “her studio” to be finished? Clearly this is a such a bullshit storyline no one can keep it straight. Mackenzie says that going to look for studios with Abby was “horrible.”  It seems both of Abby’s golden girls are beginning to turn on her.

Nia plans to work on her music with that other horrid woman and Jill seems to think that Abby is going to focus on Kendall and making a music video with her. Nia is also making a video without Abby’s help. Abby is pissy with Holly about that.

Abby’s pyramids are so ridiculous that they are not pyramids anymore.

Nia and Kendall  both get competing solos. And yes, yes, Maddie is there but without a solo. They are only in LA for three weeks, why not put Maddie up every time like they always do? They go with what they know and do a lyrical for the group dance. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Mackenzie’s Time To Shine

dance moms

Oh joy. It’s a double whammy. Maddie is on off doing Saturday Night Live with Sia. Oddly, Melissa nor Abby went with Maddie! Also they are going to Ohio for one final fight with Cathy before they go to LA again.

Kalani gets to be on top of the pyramid with Maddie in absentia.

JoJo and Mackenzie get solos.  The group is a jazz/funk group inspired by The Spice Girls.

Mackenzie struggles A LOT in rehearsal. Abby rides her hard. Melissa basically tells Abby that Mackenzie is not dumb. Abby strongly implied she is.

Cathy and her sister-in-law are doing the choreography this week. Her girls look good in rehearsal. Cathy is trying to do a lyrical in Abby’s style. It could beat the Spice Girls crap… OMG! Cathy just trashed talked Nia as the weakest link in ALDC. She says she doesn’t have any Nias, she had all Kalanis. Continue reading

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Maddie Ziegler Is In A New Sia Video

And it’s creepy.  I know  some of y’all have been creeped out by the other two, but this is the first one that creeps me out. It’s very unsettling to me. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap Double Feature: Nia’s Last Chance and Abby’s Trash is Cathy’s Treasure

Dance Moms Maddie

Oh Crap. I just realized I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms. Sorry. I’m catching up now. I am not excited about the title of this one. It’s time for pyramid and everyone expects it to go well because they beat Cathy and the Candy Apples the week before. However, there pyramid has everyone on one row except for one top spot. Lord knows the top spot will be Maddie and the last spot will be Nia, so lets just see what happens in the middle.

This week the moms are pushing for a non-lyrical routine. This is nonsense because we know that Abby already has the routine selected. Apparently, the girls were asked to list pros and cons about Jo Jo being on the ALDC dance teams. The girls basically tell her that she is loud and sometimes her timing is off, that she takes things away from other dancers. Jo Jo stands there and takes it. Abby gives her an ALDC jacket and promises to let Jo Jo be on the team for the rest of the season. Spoiler Alert, she went to Australia so she is also on the team for next season.  Everyone is on the same line of the pyramid because they all did well on the group dance.  Maddie is on the top because she is better than anyone in the whole world.

This week they are going to Philadelphia. This competition critiques the performers live on the stage. The group dance is a musical theatre piece called Decadent Darlings. The three soloists are Maddie with a contemporary solo, Kendall who also has a contemporary solo, with a prop. And Nia has a solo called The Color Purple. If she does not place, she may never see another solo. She should do fine, she has a lot of experience with ethnic dances. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL ABBY EVER GIVES HER!

OMG All the girls carry in Louis bags to the competition. Finally, I have actually seen more than one bag in a scene. This has been driving me nuts. Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: Abby’s Creation Has Begun To Turn on Her!

Whatever, Abby.

Whatever, Abby.

 

Am I the only one who prefers Dance Moms being in Pittsburgh? This week Brynn is back in Pittsburgh. It seems he mom is not really thrilled with Pittsburgh but anything for some TV time I guess. Abby is in love with Brynn.

Time for pyramid. Nia is on the bottom. She did not place in her solo. Plus Abby is a big ole bitch. Next was Jo Jo. But Abby says that Jo Jo improved.  Mackenzie was next. Kendall was next, it’s her birthday, Abby liked her. Next is Maddie.  Kalani is on top of the pyramid. She was the top scoring soloist of the entire day.  This week they are going to NJ and the Candy Apples will be there.  It is interesting to me to discover that Abby and Cathy were friends before Dance Moms and that Cathy, not Abby was the first person cast on the show.

Solos this week should be no surprise. I am going to guess Maddie, Kalani and Brynn before I even watch. Possibly with Mackenzie in the mix as well. Abby will want to annihilate Cathy.  Continue reading

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Dance Moms Recap: The Great Divide

Dance Moms Everyone

So back in Pittsburgh the hammer hasn’t been dropped on Holly and Nia yet for daring to keep their contractual agreement they signed to perform in the Matty B. video. I feel that time is now.

Of course at pyramid, Nia is on the bottom. Wait what? Maddie is on the bottom? Since when does Maddie not performing put her on the bottom? Next is Jo Jo. Really? Before Nia? How is any of this possible? Then Nia, then Kalani, then Kendall,  then MacKenzie. Oh look. It’s Maddie on the top of the period, even above MacKenzie

Abby announces that she no longer works with dance students who are in the teen division. That’s interesting. Nia and Kalani are both teens. Now one must be pulled to keep the group in the junior division. Gee, I wonder who will be pulled? Abby needs to find her some younger kids to dance for her because it looks like her kids are aging out. Continue reading

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Saturday Classic Video : Abby Lee Miller

This video is two years old but it is interesting to watch because it’s a clandestine video of Abby’s Master Class with the girls. Kids were allowed to video parts of the event but NOT the questions and answers. I’m not sure whether it says more about Abby or  um “kids today.”

Since humans have been having offspring, each generation seems to be a big fat disappointment. I shudder to think what the young lady who filmed this will find fault with in her offspring in a decade or too.

I think it is time to give up on our species. Continue reading

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