Category Archives: Dance Moms

Dance Moms Recap Double Feature: Nia’s Last Chance and Abby’s Trash is Cathy’s Treasure

Dance Moms Maddie

Oh Crap. I just realized I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms. Sorry. I’m catching up now. I am not excited about the title of this one. It’s time for pyramid and everyone expects it to go well because they beat Cathy and the Candy Apples the week before. However, there pyramid has everyone on one row except for one top spot. Lord knows the top spot will be Maddie and the last spot will be Nia, so lets just see what happens in the middle.

This week the moms are pushing for a non-lyrical routine. This is nonsense because we know that Abby already has the routine selected. Apparently, the girls were asked to list pros and cons about Jo Jo being on the ALDC dance teams. The girls basically tell her that she is loud and sometimes her timing is off, that she takes things away from other dancers. Jo Jo stands there and takes it. Abby gives her an ALDC jacket and promises to let Jo Jo be on the team for the rest of the season. Spoiler Alert, she went to Australia so she is also on the team for next season.  Everyone is on the same line of the pyramid because they all did well on the group dance.  Maddie is on the top because she is better than anyone in the whole world.

This week they are going to Philadelphia. This competition critiques the performers live on the stage. The group dance is a musical theatre piece called Decadent Darlings. The three soloists are Maddie with a contemporary solo, Kendall who also has a contemporary solo, with a prop. And Nia has a solo called The Color Purple. If she does not place, she may never see another solo. She should do fine, she has a lot of experience with ethnic dances. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL ABBY EVER GIVES HER!

OMG All the girls carry in Louis bags to the competition. Finally, I have actually seen more than one bag in a scene. This has been driving me nuts. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Abby’s Creation Has Begun To Turn on Her!

Whatever, Abby.

Whatever, Abby.


Am I the only one who prefers Dance Moms being in Pittsburgh? This week Brynn is back in Pittsburgh. It seems he mom is not really thrilled with Pittsburgh but anything for some TV time I guess. Abby is in love with Brynn.

Time for pyramid. Nia is on the bottom. She did not place in her solo. Plus Abby is a big ole bitch. Next was Jo Jo. But Abby says that Jo Jo improved.  Mackenzie was next. Kendall was next, it’s her birthday, Abby liked her. Next is Maddie.  Kalani is on top of the pyramid. She was the top scoring soloist of the entire day.  This week they are going to NJ and the Candy Apples will be there.  It is interesting to me to discover that Abby and Cathy were friends before Dance Moms and that Cathy, not Abby was the first person cast on the show.

Solos this week should be no surprise. I am going to guess Maddie, Kalani and Brynn before I even watch. Possibly with Mackenzie in the mix as well. Abby will want to annihilate Cathy.  Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: The Great Divide

Dance Moms Everyone

So back in Pittsburgh the hammer hasn’t been dropped on Holly and Nia yet for daring to keep their contractual agreement they signed to perform in the Matty B. video. I feel that time is now.

Of course at pyramid, Nia is on the bottom. Wait what? Maddie is on the bottom? Since when does Maddie not performing put her on the bottom? Next is Jo Jo. Really? Before Nia? How is any of this possible? Then Nia, then Kalani, then Kendall,  then MacKenzie. Oh look. It’s Maddie on the top of the period, even above MacKenzie

Abby announces that she no longer works with dance students who are in the teen division. That’s interesting. Nia and Kalani are both teens. Now one must be pulled to keep the group in the junior division. Gee, I wonder who will be pulled? Abby needs to find her some younger kids to dance for her because it looks like her kids are aging out. Continue reading


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Saturday Classic Video : Abby Lee Miller

This video is two years old but it is interesting to watch because it’s a clandestine video of Abby’s Master Class with the girls. Kids were allowed to video parts of the event but NOT the questions and answers. I’m not sure whether it says more about Abby or  um “kids today.”

Since humans have been having offspring, each generation seems to be a big fat disappointment. I shudder to think what the young lady who filmed this will find fault with in her offspring in a decade or too.

I think it is time to give up on our species. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Wild, Wild West Coast Part 2

When last we left Dance Moms,  Abby Lee had shown up to ruin everyone’s fun at the Matty B video shoot.  We back up a bit to the point were everyone was happy for a change and the video was being shot and everyone is having fun. Of course, Abby is not going to let this happen. Abby is pulling Mackenzie from the video. Matty’s manager tries to tell Melissa that Abby is an idiot in the nicest possible way. He seems irked that Abby was messing up a video shoot that was going well.

Sidenote: Am I the only one obsessed with the Luis Vuitton bag this season? There seems to be one bag and it is in most every scene but it is carried by a different person each week. I first noticed it when Nia was carrying it. It didn’t seem to be something that Holly would buy for Nia. Then each week someone else is carrying it or it is placed near the ladies. Sorry. I just find it odd. It’s apparently product placement, but it’s like a game of hot potato with the product placement. Watch for it next week. This week it seemed to be nearest to Jill.

Anyway Abby gets on the phone with who?  Who is she consulting about this? An attorney? Afterward she tells the mom that this is a problem for all the kids not just the special snowflake “pop star” Mackenzie. Matty B’s manager says they are going to shoot the video and if any of THE MOMS want THEIR KIDS in the video they should let him know. Then Abby says in a talking head she will see which moms are loyal to her.  The new, kid,  Brynn’s mom, who is only there for the week anyway says Brynn doesn’t have a name, she’s just a dancer, so… Abby says , “She’ll probably always just be a dancer with that attitude.”   Jill and Melissa are quick to pull their kids to appease Abby. Jill says she wants Kendall to do it but she has to go back to Pittsburgh and doesn’t want to have to deal with the wrath of Abby. Holly says she doesn’t want Nia to walk off the set. Jo Jo’s mom says the same thing. Abby is pissed because Holly is the only original team member who stayed to film. Abby says once again Holly stabbed her in the back. Continue reading


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Australia Wants No Part of Abby Lee Miller And Whatever is Left of the ALDC

Dance Moms Abby Meltdown

Abby Lee Miller’s increasingly bizarre behavior and abusive teaching methods is causing international repercussions. Several Australian news outlets are reporting that Australian dance studios and teachers are banding together to ask that Abby Lee’s visa be revoked for her upcoming trip in March. The teachers have gained the support of Peter Oxford, the child ambassador for the Australian dance industry.  Oxford, claims he has received complaints about Abby’s teaching methods. According to Oxford,  Abby’s abrasive and abusive tactics used to coach dancers is in breach of Australian child employment laws.  Oxford also is the president of the biggest dance competition in Australia.

If you recall at the beginning of this season the girls talked about going all over the globe doing master classes and meet and greets with Abby. Oxford says that he received numerous complaints  from teachers and parents. Some outlets claim that the $200+ dollar tickets were the main cause of complaints.

Season Five Spoilers after the jump! Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Wild, Wild West Coast Part One

Dance moms jo jo bow

It’s the last week in Hollywood, which I still don’t understand since so much was made of Abby moving Dance Moms to Hollywood.  The title this week is a part one so I can only assume that we are in for a long week. Abby seems quasi sane in the first few seconds of this episode.  Maddy is absent this week because she is filming that Disney show in a one episode guest appearance.  Jo Jo with the Bow Bow claps the same fake happy clap as the other girls. Only Mackenzie looks half way believable and she is hardly enthusiastic.

Speaking of hardly enthusiastic, the mothers can’t even pretend to welcome Sarah who is from Kalani’s old studio and  Brynn, also from that studio to the group.  Kira is furious with Abby from bringing her nemeses from her old studio on the show. It’s like how Teresa Giudice felt when her fambly was brought on to RHONJ and she wasn’t the only special snowflake at Thanksgiving anymore.

Which means that Abby doesn’t need, Jo Jo with the Bow Bow anymore. She puts her just about Nia who didn’t participate last week on the bottom.  Her stupid mother starts talking about what a good job she did last week. Abby goes in on her face, her not watching the movie Carrie like she was supposed to and tells Jo Jo not to cry. We might have all been good at that point but then Jo Jo had to open her mouth to say, “Well if you’re going to yell at me, I’m going to cry!” and in one clean take Jo Jo and her mama are on their previously scheduled  flight back to wherever they come from.  Or not. It looks like her mama is going to make her apologize to keep her on the show. Jo Jo has no clue what she has done wrong. Her mother has not taught her how to interact with adults and that Abby is not her peer. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Nia Risks It All

Dance moms Abby

We begin at yet another new studio where the girls are supposed to have practice in LA this week. Both the moms and the girls are just hoping Abby shows up at this point.

Holly makes plans with Aubrey O’Day to cut a single with Nia. Holly has her pimp hat on this episode.

Sadly, Abby does show up and although she has brushed her hair and put on some make-up her attitude has not changed.  Abby says she doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for why she was in jail not there last week.  Holly has a nuclear meltdown on Abby calling her a liar several times. Then she yells at the other moms for being cowards. This is all very unnecessary. All the moms except for Maddie’s need to leave ALDC with their kids at this point. It’s a joke.

Holly leaves the room and begins sobbing to a producer. She is done. She can’t take this any more. She deserves better. Her little girl deserves betted. Nia is packing up her shit in a Louis Vuitton bag.

Meanwhile, Abby calls Aubrey and says that Holly just threw a tantrum. Basically, she is trying to sabotage Nia’s chance to sing in the studio with Aubrey. Abby seems to think Holly and Nia went behind her back to try to use one of her friends. WTF is wrong with Abby. Seriously? This isn’t normal asshole Abby, this is either hormonal rage Abby or drugged up on something Abby or having a psychotic episode Abby. Continue reading


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Dance Moms: Holly Takes Nia To The Recording Studio

Tomorrow on Dance Moms, Holly and Nia skip a rehearsal to head to the studio so Nia can work on a single, Star of Your Own Life. Abby has been managing Kendall as she shot a video for her single, Wear ‘Em Out.  Abby is non too pleased that Nia chose to shoot her video with Aubrey O’Day rather than be subjected to Abby’s constant criticism of her. I wish she was working with anyone other than Aubry O’Day, but at least she is working.

Of course Abby has a fit and jerks Nia out of the group dance for this week. I hope they lose without her. Is that wrong?


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Dance Moms Recap: Hello Hollywood, Goodbye Abby

Dance Moms Abby MeltdownTime for another week of menopausal Abby. This week, the ALDC has moved to Hollywood and the stress turns out to be too much for Abby.  Abby has decided to move everyone to Hollywood before her studio is ready. Why?  She rented some studio space and seems perplexed that there are other (very good) dancers at the location.  Abby calls “her attorney” from the car and informs the moms to step away.  They haven’t even gotten in the building yet and Abby is melting down. The moms go in and get their studio cleared out and the girls start warming up. Oh and Jo Jo  and her mom have crashed the party.

Meanwhile, in a studio across town a local dance group is preparing to beat the ALDC in a this weekend’s competition. The ALDC kids in the studio with their thumbs up their asses waiting on Abby. Abby calls from THE PARKING LOT and says she isn’t coming in because she just can’t work in that space. She’s going to look for another one. Oh and the girls have some sort of mysterious audition in the morning.

The next day, Gianna shows up in the same studio as the day before to do the dance choreography. Abby has only one solo this week for Maddie.  This week the group dance is a boring lyrical. The moms want something edgier for the west coast. For some reason, Kalani’s mom is the new point of contact between Abby and the moms. Why doesn’t Melissa have any information?  Abby calls to say she may have to fly home due to problems at home. Um, her mother is dead, she has no family, friends or even a dog in Pittsburgh anymore. What could she need to take care of back home? Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Hell No To the Jo Jo!

Dance Moms Season 5 ep 1

We start  Dance Moms with some sad news. Nia’s grandfather is very ill. She is very concerned about leaving Pittsburgh because he could die while she is gone. Abby was very sweet to Nia. Shocking but true.

This week, Jo Jo with the Bow Bow is back. Abby is pissed as all Billy Hell that ALDC came in second in the group dance. Holly tries to tell Abby how to prioritize her tasks. Because, apparently Holly has lost her ever-loving mind this season.  Actually, the tea I heard was that Holly was asked to resign from her school district because the show reflected poorly on the system. Now she can afford to go full throttle. This may be the real Holly.

On to the pyramid. Nia is on the very bottom of the pyramid because she was the leader of the group dance that came in at first loser. For this she must be punished. However, last week when Maddie came in second over all for her solo, Abby told her it was good for her to lose sometimes because it is motivating. No difference in treatment there. Actually, Nia did a great job in the group dance. Next is Kendall. Bad feet.  Next is Kalani. Abby says she stood out in the group number but did encourage everyone else to rise to her level. Next is Maddie WHO WAS NOT THERE AT ALL!  Yet,  Abby still places her above three other dancers. Next is Jo Jo! Above Maddie! Jo Jo’s mom immediately asks if they are going to LA with Abby. Abby stutters out, “Not…right now.” Then some bitchfest breaks out between the moms and Kalani’s mom starts talking about Jo Jo calling up clothing companies saying she was going to be on ALDC and needed free stuff and they sent it to her and she bragged about it. What’s the problem with that again? She’s 11. I doubt she is picking up the phone, her mother is doing it. And Kalani’s  mom is mocking Jo Jo’s speech impediment saying, “I got this for fwee! I got that for fwee!”  That’s just crappy. Almost as crappy as Jo Jo’s mom not getting her to a speech therapist so she can pronounce “crappy.” Mackenzie is at the top for winning her division with her solo. Continue reading


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Dance Moms Recap: Oh No! It’s Jo Jo With The Bow Bow, AND CHRIST(y)!

Dance Moms Jo Jo

Holly is still acting like the new Christy. She wants the moms to talk to Abby right before a class. This is so not smart and not like Holly I can only presume that production is pushing Holly to be the new shit stirring mom.  Holly is not cut out for that. And it’s just weird. So Abby is now all riled up because she feels like the moms are questioning her decisions.  Abby starts the class lecturing the girls when in fact she is really lecturing the moms. You know. The usual.

The group won last week. Maddie is not going to be at the competition she is off to LA to work with SIA.

Time for pyramid. In a classic Abby move,  she puts Kendall on the bottom for crying when Abby was mean to her last week. Save the tears for your pillow. Kalani is next for coming in fourth over all. Nia is next because her favorites must place about Nia. Then Mackenzie, then Maddie. She won her division but came in second overall.

The group routine is about “diversity in religion.” Oh God.  I’m calling it now. Nia will be a Muslim in this dance.  Solos got to Mackenzie (Jazz/Acro),  Abby sets Nia up in the introduction to the second solo to make her think it is her. But it’s not! It’s Jo Jo with the Bow Bow! UGH. Jo Jo asks if she can take Chloe’s spot on the team. Abby says if she works hard enough, she can replace anybody. Except her favorite. I hate how these scenes are so scripted now.  Let’s get to the dancing part. Or at least a mom brawl. Continue reading


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