Category Archives: Bravo

Million Dollar Listing LA Recap: Gay or European?

MDLLA CastI missed the premiere of MDLLA because I just wasn’t paying attention. I have a new cable company and have to program my shows into the DVR to record and even then they sometimes don’t.  So I am going to check in now with episode 2 and see what I think about the two new guys, James Harris and David Parnes joining the cast with Josh Flagg and Josh Altman. I have a feeling I might miss Madison a little bit.

We start with Altman. The two new guys are British and partners. Apparently, last week everyone went after the same listing and Altman got it. The Brits are mad. Are they all out of real estate to sell over in jolly old England? I dislike these two and they haven’t said two words yet. They have come to the brokers open house to cause trouble it seems.  Flagg is enjoying the pissing match between David and James and Altman.  Altman is pleased with his open house.

The ever popular question, “Gay or European?” is seemingly answered by James’ wife and two daughters  but then his enthusiasm for tea parties seems to belie the initial response. After seeing the clubbing montage, where he knocked his wife up while they were dating, I suppose he is just European. David just walked in and the two both don tiaras and chat over pretend tea about a major business deal. Continue reading

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Filed under Bravo, Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles

Below Deck Recap: Mo Mojitos, Mo Problems…

Below Deck Kelly

We start at the point where Kelly cracked his skull on the concrete after falling off the swing. Amy takes her brother to the ER.  Everyone else goes back to the boat where Kat and Ben continue to flirt with disaster, by flirting with each other on national TV when both of them are involved with people on land.  Ben takes it upon himself to tell Eddie he needs a backup plan for Andrew because Andrew sucks. It’s not a casual thing, it’s more of a drunken directive that crosses the boundary into telling the brand new bosun he is not doing his job correctly. Seriously, Ben.  Eddie has enough to deal with without you adding to the situation. Go back to cheating on your girl friend. Kelly shows up at 3:30  am and gets into bed. Ben denies Kat her request for a kiss. Tomorrow is a new charter.

Andrew’s ineptitude is highlighted once again. He is tired and clearly he has no clue what he is doing. He’s not even wearing shoes which causes him to get splinters in his feet. Just then, Captain Lee walks by and says, “What do you think? Deck shoes?” and keeps on walking. Priceless. Eddie asks him to take some things to the starboard bosun locker. Andrew doesn’t know what any of that means.

Kate didn’t seem to take to the down home silliness of the first group of guests, so this new group with black  truffle  on their provisions list should make her happy. Right? It’s an anniversary trip and their first trip without the kids. They are hot and rich and Kate is already jealous.  She is already complaining about making mojitos. This speaks more to her bartending skills than their taste in beverages. Continue reading

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Guess Who?

Below Deck Captain Lee 2

 

Go support his blogs here.

Sadly, I think that is his lovely wife of eleventy billion years with him. I mean you know, sad for us, lucky for him.

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Filed under Below Deck, Bravo, Guess!

Manzo’d With Children Premieres October 5th !

Caroline Manzo

I’m so excited for Manzo’d With Children! Even if it is going to be scripted as hell with all the kids pretending to live in the house during filming, including Albie’s girlfriend. I don’t care. I need me some Caroline Manzo. And for the love of God I hope that the press release below will stop the madness about Jacqueline coming back to RHONJ and all the bullshit stories saying she is coming back to save the show. She was LET GO FOR A REASON. She’s boring. Her legal dramas are dragging out so it may take years for her to be a #FelonByBravo (allegedly) and if there is a God there will be no RHONJ by the time she’s wearing orange with the rest of them.

Anyway, here is the official press release… Continue reading

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Filed under Albie Manzo, Bravo, Caroline Manzo, Chris Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Real Housewives of New Jersey

Below Deck Recap: Hex on The Beach!

Below Deck Season 2 Cast

We begin Below Deck with dumbass Andrew trying to vacuum up the water from the porthole incident, only the vacuum is set to blow and not suck. So essentially Andrew sucks at everything. Even sucking.  Amy is telling a sob story to Kat while drying the same glass for half an hour. Kat couldn’t care less. I am not really feeling Amy yet.

Georgia wants some “beefcake” so Andrew is sent to do a little pole dancing. They are provided with fake money to throw at them. Georgia and the girls are happy and Andrew is kept out of everyone’s hair.

Kat and Ben are both trying not to cheat on their significant others with each other. They have hooked up in the past.

Amy and the southern guests get along well with Amy. The accents really come out when you are in a room with just southerners. It’s not deliberate it just happens.

Jennice and Kelley are having a flirtmance. Kelley has a girlfriend of a month and a half before charter season began. I don’t think he is that into her.  Jennice has not mentioned to Kelley that she has a boyfriend. Continue reading

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Below Deck Recap: Shut Your Porthole!

Below Deck Season 2 Cast

I love the opening of the show. Nice to see Bravo giving Captain Lee the “star” treatment!  We begin 31 hours before sail with Captain Lee sitting on the dock waiting for the crew to show up. Everyone appears to be in high spirits.  Ben, Captain Lee, Eddie and Ben are all ready to go. I hate Kate already. Andrew is not much better. He lives at home with his parents and only works when they start to annoy him. Or something.  Jennice seems great. I love that she is a deckhand. I have a feeling she will out work Andrew.  Amy is a new stew. She’s a southern girl and she has brought her brother Kelley along to work the cruise as well. Amy seems okay, but I am not sure about Kelley.  Kelley’s package refers to his troubled past. I’m thinking these new crewmates, with the exception of Jennice are going to be problematic.  And, as much as I love Captain Lee, he is old school and could go either way with the female deckhand trying to break into the boys club. Ben and Kat both seem a lot thinner.

Some of the crew are sent shopping with Ben for provisions. Andrew is an abject moron. I don’t know if he will even make the first sale. He is supposed to get water. He doesn’t know what kind to get. Ben tells him some low-end and some high-end. Andrew is confused. Water is water. Water is definitely not water Andrew. Have you ever had Deer Park bottled water? It tastes like dirt. Evian tastes lovely.  SmartWater is the best for hydration and hangovers because it has electrolytes. Then there are the fizzy waters like San Pellegrino and Perrier. I case of canned La Croix is great for drinking in a raft on the ocean. Don’t be stupid Andrew.

This years ship is a lot bigger. The boat is trashed. Why would the boat be in such condition?  Kate and Ben are bunking together. Oh Ben, just say no.  Jennice already has the hots for Kelley.  Kat is rooming with Amy. They have some sort of old beef between them so clearly they need to bunk together for our amusement. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Melbourne Recaps: Chinese Whispers and Mexican Fiestas

RHOMEL

Okay, I have already forgotten who these ladies are and which ones I like and don’t like so forgive me if I contradict everything I said last week.

Janet is off to get some Botox. Jackie is along for moral support. Janet is very wrinkly. How old is she? Jackie tells Janet about Gina’s comments about not believing she is psychic and that if she is she is going through demons.  Jackie is inviting Gina and all the girls to a housewarming party. Because housewives always make nice at parties.

Andrea and Lydia go shopping in a funky little shop to buy a housewarming gift. Lydia invites Andrea and perhaps Jackie to go to her snow house for a few days.

Lydia is going to do the interior design for Gina’s new apartment. Actually, the apartment is for Gina’s boys I think. They discuss the situation with Jackie. Gina tells Lydia that she has broken up with her boyfriend. I’d like to point out that is exactly what Jackie predicted. Gina adamantly states that it has nothing to do with Jackie’s psychic abilities.

Jackie and Ben are hiring party planners for their housewarming party. They would like a Mexican theme. But they don’t want it to look like a cheesey theme party. Jackie wants to use her psychic ability choose the staff.  Jackie seems to be no better at world geography than the average American.  I don’t think she knows South Africa is a country. These two are a party planner’s nightmare. I cannot envision what their vision of the party is.

Lydia and her husband fly to a nearby island to buy some produce, or cheese or something. Because apparently there are no grocers in Melbourne. I don’t think the produce means the same thing in Aussiespeak. They bought a ton of cheese. I was shocked it was only $274. RHOMEL Cast2

Chyka! I love her and her catering store. Jackie and Ben want to make a drink line so Jackie goes to Chyka to mentoring. Jackie seems to think she can have something bottled in a month. Jackie seems clueless about how business works.  It may turn out it takes more than vision boards and angels to run a cocktail line.

Gina is chatting with one of the ladies…Andrea maybe? Gina explains that when she had cancer she became very spiritually hungry (I love that phrase) and that spiritual quest led her to the conclusion that psychics were not speaking from a godly place and were communicating through demons. Oh this party is going to be loads of fun.

The party is very festive and everyone is dressed to the nines. To me, Chyka’s gifts were the most appropriate for a housewarming. She gave them a ton of stuff from her catering line for their new kitchen. Gina gave Jackie a necklace ???,  And Lydia and Andrea gave them each an Indian headdress. I thought a housewarming gift was something for the home, or the kitchen, or a piece of artwork, of a bottle of wine. Silly me.  Andrea and Lydia said that Chyka’s gift was self promoting.

Drama begins over Jackie’s profession. Jackie and Ben confront Gina. Ben walks away and the two continue to rehash the entire situation over and over. Gina adores the term “Chinese whispers.” Lydia confirms in front of both girls that Gina said that she didn’t believe anything Jackie says. Jackie tries to explain that she meant that she did not believe her man is cheating. Gina is mad at Lydia for repeating what she said to Jackie. It’s the same argument over and over.

Next week: We get to see an Aussie ski resort.

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Heather and Terry Dubrow on WWHL

WWHL Heather and Terry

Heather looks very thin. That was my first reaction. They start off talking about Robin Williams dying.  The vault contained Terry on Bridalplasty and The Swan, he admits they were two of the cheesiest reality shows ever.

Terry says the upcoming scene where he goes off on David Beador was because he was told what happened before he saw what happened and he was amped up basically by someone *cough* production *cough*.  David’s comment was rude, but he was drunk and it wasn’t that bad and nobody really heard it. Except for production. Heather says that a lot of things were conveyed through a game of telephone. Andy looks very nervous as these two tip toe around alluding to production interference. Andy is also very tan. Like Jersey Shore tan. Just thought I would throw that out there.

During a game, Heather says that Terry obsessively watches himself on Botched!

Heather is asked if she can see now that Tamra might have manipulated her for the last three years… Heather says  that she and Tamra are friends. She thinks that things can get twisted but she doesn’t think Tamra lied to her.  I am worried we are going to be set up for a reunion where Lizzie is outed as the liar. Please don’t let that happen. Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Heather Dubrow, RHOOC, Terry Dubrow, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

Amber Marchese on WWHL: To Know Jim Is to Love Jim

WWHL Amber

Well, this WWHL should be good. Jim is the drinking word!  Right away David Arquette says the best part of the night was the whale vagina comment. Then Andy tries to get him to repeat the comment and they get it wrong. Because half the people who use the term douchebag don’t even know the literal meaning. Dina’s usage was so phenomenal I might even start to like her a little bit, ” Jim’s level of douchebaggery is so large it could clean a whale’s vagina.” Please don’t tell Caroline I am softening up  a bit on Dina for that.

Amber jumps in to say that Dina doesn’t know him well enough to make that comment. Amber says to know Jim is to love Jim. Newsflash Amber: Your husband’s reputation for douchebaggery preceded the show. A quick Google search draws unprecedented numbers of responses. A trillion lawsuits including an intriguing one where someone was suspected to have been murdered before a shady business meeting that Jim was supposed to be at, allegedly. Continue reading

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Filed under Amber Marchese, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

WWHL With Shannon Beador

WWHL Shannon

Sorry I am so late with this, things have been super busy, but I am dying to see Shannon Beador on WWHL! And get your take on it.

Um, Okay. Shannon has had work done, yes? She looks good.  Andy asks about her new hair cut and she seems to still be getting used to her new edgier look. Andy immediately makes reference to Tamra comparing Bali to Tijuana.  Shannon sort of sticks up for her saying that she was expecting the Bali from vacation sites and such and unfortunately Bali is a third world country. She says they drove around quite a bit and saw a lot of poverty. I hate the misuse of the outdated term third world country although I am sometimes guilty of it myself.  It is a cold war era political term that has nothing to do with poverty.  I digress, sorry. I was glad to hear they did a lot of driving around. Maybe something sunk in.

Moving on, Shannon is not in the top seat. I hate Andy’s new seating chart rules. Elizabeth Moss is asked to play Marry, Shag, Kill with Eddie, Brooks and Slade. She kills Brooks immediately and marries Eddie. I’m sorry, but I would have to kill Slade. I might even marry Brooks because I’m not sure anal sex with Eddie pretending I’m Tom would be very fulfilling no matter how hot he is. That’s a tough one, what would you do? Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Shannon Beador, Watch What Happens Live, What's Wrong With This Picture?

Watch What Happens Live Guest List

Sorry, I just sort of love this pic.... ShadeByAndy

Sorry, I just sort of love this pic…. ShadeByAndy

The latest WWHL guest listings are up. It looks like Terry Dubrow will finally get to sit on the tiny little stage instead of the audience. He must be so excited. What is going on with Bravo and the husbands? Why are they being treated like first class citizens all the sudden?  And why isn’t Kroy going to be on with Kim? You know Andy has the hots for Kroy. Did I ever mention I don’t find Kroy attractive at all? He’s way too white for me. And I don’t do red heads.  Well, I mean I don’t do red heads for long… Anyway. Click through for the listings. I find the lack of anyone confirmed yet for the 12th intriguing. I’m hopeful that means they have nearly confirmed something big. Like Elvis and Tupac. Continue reading

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Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

Real Housewives of Melbourne : Bad Vibes

RHOMELLydia goes shopping with her stepson, and her dog, who is wearing a sweater. Why do rich people like to dress animals up in clothes. It is ridiculous.  So is this “vegetarian” clothing store. The step-son, Sam is the only person in the store with a functioning brain.

Gina is still pissy about the psychic. Gina called her man in the US and he was outraged at the notion that he had been unfaithful. I mean just because a man is living in another country doesn’t mean that he will want to get laid. Suddenly, her “pahtnah” is flying her over on a first class flight. Thus proving is rock solid fidelity.

Lydia calls and talks to Gina about Jackie’s psychic revelations. Gina denies that she was upset by the reading or that her sudden trip to the states has anything to do with Jackie.

Jackie and Ben are driving in a car. The whole driving on the wrong side of the road thing gives me anxiety. Jackie is the token housewife selection to begin a liquor line. Jackie wants to do tequila, which her advisors advise against. Her psychic vibes disagree with the market analysis.

Lydia and Jackie go to an art gallery and Lydia updates Jackie about Gina flying to the US and informs her that Gina didn’t believe a thing she said. Continue reading

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