Since the feeds are down for the evicition and HOH tonight, I’ve taken the liberty of taking everything Danielle has shared about herself and creating her autobiography. Here is Danielle’s life story in (mostly) her words. New stuff in purple.
On April 24, 1989 a child was welcomed into the world possibly to the lyrics of Madonna’s Like a Prayer …I close my eyes, oh God I think I’m falling… Out of the sky, I close my eyes…Heaven help me. And just like that Danielle Alexis Murphree fell from the heavens and landed in Alabama. Her parents were both marines and her father was also an alcoholic preacher who beat her and gave her whiskey when she was four. She quickly determined, at the tender age of four, that dark liquids (other than red wine) were not good for her. For the next ten years, her neglectful mother, who is a “professional swimmer” would spend all of her time writing a single computer program that only she was capable of writing. It was a very important program and she focused all of her time on the writing of it. Sadly, this left her with no time to tend to her lady garden which quickly grew out of control into a large, ginger bush. Obviously, the mere sight of the ginger bush was emotionally scarring to young Dani driving her to madness at a very young age.
Dani’s father was not much help either as he was a drunk Marine-Preacher who would try to teach her to swim by throwing her in the deep end of the pool screaming “Sink or Swim, Sweetcheeks.” Poor Dani nearly drowned in that cement pond in Alabama many, many times. That doesn’t even include the time that she and her Daddy were down at the swamp hunting alligators and Dani fell and broke her back. Her Daddy threw her over his shoulder and carried her home where the back magically healed itself. When times were hard, Dani would retreat to the three-story tree house her Daddy built for her in the backyard and practice her poses in the many mirrors she kept there. Sometimes she would just sit in her treehouse staring into her mirrors and thinking of happier times, like back when her great grandfather invented laundry detergent. It was that invention that made her entire family very wealthy and allowed Danielle to buy all the make-up she could ever want. Continue reading »