Monday will officially mark the 20 year anniversary of the first hit I took off the crack pipe that we now call “reality TV.” Ever since that first episode of the Real World aired and we saw Julie and Kevin and Eric and Heather and Becky and Norman and Andre stop being polite and start getting real I was hooked. From there my addiction escalated to the point where I now have watched numerous seasons of shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  So I was totally prepared to watch The Bachelorette premiere this week and blog about it.

But here is the problem  The Bachelorette in general is not nearly as interesting as The Bachelor. This is because women are crazy. Not you dear reader, or me of course, but all the other women in the world besides us are pretty much insane. And when they cast for The Bachelor, they pick the craziest of the crazies and that makes good TV. Remember Courtney? The whole last season of The Bachelor was the Courtney show. Seriously, all we remember about The Bachelor is that he liked crazy Courtney and had really bad hair.

The other problem is that the first few episodes have too many people and not enough time for us to care about them one way or another. Which is why I got distracted planning a vacation on-line and hardly remember anything about the show. It looked horribly boring. However, I think there may be a really show we won’t see regarding these guys because I think well over half of the suitors are gay. There is Alessandro, a grain merchant from Minnesota. Gay. Alejandro, a mushroom farmer from San Francisco. Gay. Jackson the gay model, Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul!!! sigh. Jef with one f and two jars of hair product. Kalon, a “luxury brand consultant’. I just can’t go on. Trust me when I tell you that the cast of the A-List has more straight guys on it than this season’s Bachelorette.

So I am not going to recap The Bachelorette this week. I am just going to hope that the footage of all these pretty gay boys having massive orgies every night while Emily goes home to bake cookies with her daughter makes it on to the Internet. Because that would be way more fun to watch. I’m just saying.