It’s the day we thought would never come. The final episode of the reunion marks the end of RHOA season four. Thank the chocolate baby Jesus! Speaking of the chocolate baby Jesus, do y’all reckon the guests at the bizarro church thing for Ayden got to eat Jesus at the post-investiture luncheon? After the blasphemy of the whole ordeal wore off, I wondered about those sorts of things. I want to know if baby Jesus was hollow like a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny or if Phaedra spared no expense. He was probably a solid baby Jesus don’t you think? If so, that’s enough chocolate to give everyone in attendance diabetes. I’m just saying.  Anyway, this is the season that would never end. I’d like to think Bravo executives somewhere are sitting down in a room evaluating what worked and what didn’t. I have a few things I’d like to share with them…

Your cast of drama queens on every iteration of the franchise tweet. a lot. This is your fault. Half of these women didn’t even know how to use a computer before you told them all to get a twitter account. When you give random nobodies their own TV show, it has its benefits to you. You don’t have to pay them much, especially at first. This is because they are willing to expose the crazy, imbalanced people that they are, on national television, for a paycheck.  This double edged sword is also the reason they get drunk and tweet things about each other on the same day they film it. Even if they don’t blatantly violate their contracts, they give us more than enough information to know exactly what is going to happen and when on the upcoming season. So you really need to learn to write the scripts better so that you can make an entire season without pulling things out of order. Enough of us know the true order for it to be very frustrating.

Twenty episodes in the same season is probably at least five too many. I get that this is a way for Bravo to pay the housewives more with subsequent seasons, but be honest. you didn’t have enough interesting stuff for twenty episodes. Which left you tossing in a bunch of stuff haphazardly at the end. This season should have either ended in South Africa or had  a one episode wrap-up. perhaps with a staged dinner event where the whole cast sits down together and acts civilized.

The cast needs to be able to all shoot together. This of course is why we couldn’t end with a big fake dinner event.You guys are great at making these women fight for our enjoyment. It’s gotten to the point that fighting is the only interesting thing that happens.But that is because you all encourage it. We notice that when a particular housewife becomes “boring” they tend to cause a big commotion in order to hold on to their paycheck.When you put a bunch of women in the same room and force them to interact as part of a job, they will fight and gossip and backstab. It’s not necessary to disrupt this natural process by firing the ones who don’t become combative. The way actual women who share an workplace is interesting enough without turning it into an MMA event. We need less over the top screaming and physical attacks and more reality which is nuanced insults, backstabbing and manipulations. Especially in the south, we don’t brawl.We can cause way more damage in a much more civilized way. Bless your hearts.

Stop forcing the cast into ridiculous misogynist stereotypes.  The white trash whore with a heart of gold, the black neck-rolling buffoon, the child  R&B star with a sex drive in overtime, the NFL groupie wife still digging for gold after the divorce, the brainless model, the “black southern belle,” all of these a harsh caricatures. Only a Jewish gay man from New York could even conceptualize a black southern belle. Someone should have at least researched that one. The manner in which you encourage each of the housewives to use these labels against each other and yet wear their own as if it truly represents any of them is cruel. It also suggests that actual women who were not being encouraged to degrade themselves would be somehow less interesting. Your producer tweeting after the finale that is was his best work ever, speaks volumes.

Select some women with educations, interesting lives and personal integrity. Felons, strippers, prostitutes, and gold diggers are not what we want to see. I suppose you will never care or understand that until we stop watching. The blame lies with us for accepting your image of us.

Now if y’all will excuse me, I need to have a come to chocolate baby Jesus moment with myself about why I watch this show.