I got a few episodes behind on Dance Moms during my (sorta) unplugged birthday week. I’m gonna try to hit the high (or low) notes of both episodes in this post.
We start the week after Mackenzie beat Maddie in solos. The episode I am watching is the director’s cut and I am not sure what is added and left out, but I love seeing the girls warming up and talking about the previous week. Abby says she is over Jazz routines. She is going back to her usual routines. Nothing unusual about pyramid this week. Mackenzie was on top of Pyramid.
The competition is in Calabasas and their west coast nemesis MDP will be there. (WTF is the P for?) As Abby prepares to dole out solo’s Jo Jo says that her grandmother who has stage 4 colon cancer will be there and she really wants to do a solo for her. Abby says okay. Kendall, Abby’s new favorite, is going to do her solo that got scratched from two weeks ago. Abby gives the group lead she meant for Maddie to Mackenzie. Abby seems “nice” this week. Jo Jo is being taken out of the group dance to focus on her solo. Abby took the lead away from Mackenzie. Continue reading
Dance Moms begins again at 3rd Street Dance Studio. Interestingly, this week’s Celebrity Wife Swap also feature 3rd Street Dance Company where Jill from the Love Boat changed lives with Charo and had to learn Flamenco dancing. Abby is there with an attitude and congratulations them on winning the group dance without Maddie as the lead. Then she insulted Nia’s lead in the dance saying that basically she was forgettable. There is no pleasing Abby. Nia says if she had more opportunities maybe she would have been better at it. Abby rips off the lowest picture cover to reveal….NIA! Because her ridiculous solo came in fifth. Jo Jo was next. She was later during the entire dance. Next is Maddie. She didn’t stand out in the group dance. Um, because she was not the lead. I have never seen this look on Maddie’s face. She is not happy. Next, Mackenzie, then Kendall who didn’t even dance. She just stood in front of giant TV while a crappy video played.
Maddie and Mackenzie are going head to head in solos. Maddie is going to do tap. Jo Jo is also getting a solo. I hope Jo Jo beats them both. Abbie is bringing in a guest choreographer. The choreographer is giving the girls a fresh fun routine. The girls are loving the fun vibe. Abby changes the line up to put Maddie in the center. Abby pulled her bumpit off her head, fluffed it up and put it back on. Continue reading
Dance Moms is finally moving to L.A. but they are still not in Abby’s Studio. The girls and moms go into the studio and find Abby muttering to herself about earrings. She is not wearing any and just can’t work without earrings. Why is Abby like legit crazy every time they are in L.A. Abby is disheveled and sits down with a giant handbag and begins pulling stuff out, bags full of snacks, papers, eventually she dumps the entire purse out onto the studio floor. Change rolls everywhere, it amazing all of the crap that is in that purse.
Pyramid was interesting only in that Nia was very close to the top and Abby complimented her on her performance.
Abby announces the she will probably not go to the competition because she is too busy. She gives solos to Kalani, Nia and Kendall. Still not willing to let Maddie go up against the L.A. girls, Abby? Kendall also has a video premier tomorrow. Continue reading
Abby Lee Miller was on Entertainment Tonight this week and had extensive segments where she gave us a lot of information the behind the scenes war on Dance Moms. She says that she lost her weight because her mother died of colon cancer and would not eat toward the end. So when she was with her mother she did not want to eat in front of her. Which is a great theory, but her mother died in 2014, and production has made a point of her binge eating throughout season four and five. She also blame new diabetes medication for making her violently ill. Yet clearly, production has been going after her during filming showing all of her breakdowns in the car with bags of fast food. So, I am not believing she just suddenly dropped four or more dress sizes without some surgery. Why do people lie about weight loss surgery? Abby says she no longer is limited to plus sized stores to do her shopping.
Abby says that production threw her out of a competition later this season when the mothers kept going after her about their kids getting back to their regular classes. She said she left and didn’t return for a week or so. She says if they think they can do the show without her, she will let them. I have a feeling that is what was going on in LA when she disappeared as well. Either she was fighting production, or she was getting her gastric by-pass. Maybe the stuff down in the car was her last meal before the surgery?
Abby says for the first three seasons she fought with production about keeping the girls in their regular dance classes. She says production was more focused on the moms but the girls and the dancing took over. Abby says she has no creative input on the show and wants it for season six. If there is a season six. She says that Lifetime is behind on her paychecks and all of that will need to be up to speed before she entertains a contract for season six. Continue reading
Abby is preparing a Mad Max themed group routine for all of the girls except Nia and JoJo. I know why Nia is being punished, but I can’t remember why Jo Jo is. I guess it was something Jess said. Even more ridiculous is the fact that Kalani and her mom are taking a mother daughter day in Australia. Which is fine. But can you imagine if Nia or JoJo or even Kendall tried to do that? The girls make up with Jo Jo over their mean girl comments.
Nia is allowing Jo Jo to dance in her event. Which is really sweet. Abby is pissed that Nia’s choreographer flew in from LA to coordinate her show. Jill has the nerve to be pissed that Nia didn’t include all the kid in her performance. Um, Nia’s whole reason behind doing a performance is because she was excluded from all the ones with the other kids. Abby seems legitimately furious that Nia has a better choreographer than she is working on her show.
Meanwhile, Kalani is not even at practice for the group dance. Abby says Kalani is the star of the dance so she has her own part to learn. Yet, when she shows up the next day, the majority of her moves appear to be just like everyone else’s. The other moms are pissed that Kira spent the day with her boyfriend and Kalani. Abby is pissed that Kalani doesn’t know the routine, even though Abby was fine with her missing the first day of practice.
Jill continues to point out to Abby that Nia’s performance is way better than their little dance recital event. It’s killing Abby. Continue reading
The girls and moms are all in Australia and Abby has lost her wallet with her passport, license, and credit cards in LA. Abby can’t get to Australia! That doesn’t stop her from fucking things up thought. She is dropping a bomb on the girls before they even get out of the airport that only Maddie is going to dance. Abby says that Nia and JoJo were never invited to Australia. Wow. This is bad, even for Abby.
Holly says she is trying to put a concert together for Nia. Jess has decided not to do anything with JoJo and just enjoy the trip. She looked at putting some things together for Jo Jo but due to the dance community in Australia banding together to try and have Abby’s visa denied, Jess wants to disassociate Jo Jo from the ALDC.
Abby is saying horrible things on the phone in front of the girls. She is being a bitch to the camera man in the car with her also. She is full blown bitch mode. Continue reading
I did not like these outfits.
We are back in L.A. and Abby still does not have a studio. I guess that was all a storyline. Melissa is explaining to the ladies that Mackenzie went with Abby to look at studios the day before but it is just going to take time. Wait, is she looking at studios? Is she waiting for “her studio” to be finished? Clearly this is a such a bullshit storyline no one can keep it straight. Mackenzie says that going to look for studios with Abby was “horrible.” It seems both of Abby’s golden girls are beginning to turn on her.
Nia plans to work on her music with that other horrid woman and Jill seems to think that Abby is going to focus on Kendall and making a music video with her. Nia is also making a video without Abby’s help. Abby is pissy with Holly about that.
Abby’s pyramids are so ridiculous that they are not pyramids anymore.
Nia and Kendall both get competing solos. And yes, yes, Maddie is there but without a solo. They are only in LA for three weeks, why not put Maddie up every time like they always do? They go with what they know and do a lyrical for the group dance. Continue reading
Oh joy. It’s a double whammy. Maddie is on off doing Saturday Night Live with Sia. Oddly, Melissa nor Abby went with Maddie! Also they are going to Ohio for one final fight with Cathy before they go to LA again.
Kalani gets to be on top of the pyramid with Maddie in absentia.
JoJo and Mackenzie get solos. The group is a jazz/funk group inspired by The Spice Girls.
Mackenzie struggles A LOT in rehearsal. Abby rides her hard. Melissa basically tells Abby that Mackenzie is not dumb. Abby strongly implied she is.
Cathy and her sister-in-law are doing the choreography this week. Her girls look good in rehearsal. Cathy is trying to do a lyrical in Abby’s style. It could beat the Spice Girls crap… OMG! Cathy just trashed talked Nia as the weakest link in ALDC. She says she doesn’t have any Nias, she had all Kalanis. Continue reading
Oh Crap. I just realized I am two episodes behind on Dance Moms. Sorry. I’m catching up now. I am not excited about the title of this one. It’s time for pyramid and everyone expects it to go well because they beat Cathy and the Candy Apples the week before. However, there pyramid has everyone on one row except for one top spot. Lord knows the top spot will be Maddie and the last spot will be Nia, so lets just see what happens in the middle.
This week the moms are pushing for a non-lyrical routine. This is nonsense because we know that Abby already has the routine selected. Apparently, the girls were asked to list pros and cons about Jo Jo being on the ALDC dance teams. The girls basically tell her that she is loud and sometimes her timing is off, that she takes things away from other dancers. Jo Jo stands there and takes it. Abby gives her an ALDC jacket and promises to let Jo Jo be on the team for the rest of the season. Spoiler Alert, she went to Australia so she is also on the team for next season. Everyone is on the same line of the pyramid because they all did well on the group dance. Maddie is on the top because she is better than anyone in the whole world.
This week they are going to Philadelphia. This competition critiques the performers live on the stage. The group dance is a musical theatre piece called Decadent Darlings. The three soloists are Maddie with a contemporary solo, Kendall who also has a contemporary solo, with a prop. And Nia has a solo called The Color Purple. If she does not place, she may never see another solo. She should do fine, she has a lot of experience with ethnic dances. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL ABBY EVER GIVES HER!
OMG All the girls carry in Louis bags to the competition. Finally, I have actually seen more than one bag in a scene. This has been driving me nuts. Continue reading
Am I the only one who prefers Dance Moms being in Pittsburgh? This week Brynn is back in Pittsburgh. It seems he mom is not really thrilled with Pittsburgh but anything for some TV time I guess. Abby is in love with Brynn.
Time for pyramid. Nia is on the bottom. She did not place in her solo. Plus Abby is a big ole bitch. Next was Jo Jo. But Abby says that Jo Jo improved. Mackenzie was next. Kendall was next, it’s her birthday, Abby liked her. Next is Maddie. Kalani is on top of the pyramid. She was the top scoring soloist of the entire day. This week they are going to NJ and the Candy Apples will be there. It is interesting to me to discover that Abby and Cathy were friends before Dance Moms and that Cathy, not Abby was the first person cast on the show.
Solos this week should be no surprise. I am going to guess Maddie, Kalani and Brynn before I even watch. Possibly with Mackenzie in the mix as well. Abby will want to annihilate Cathy. Continue reading
So back in Pittsburgh the hammer hasn’t been dropped on Holly and Nia yet for daring to keep their contractual agreement they signed to perform in the Matty B. video. I feel that time is now.
Of course at pyramid, Nia is on the bottom. Wait what? Maddie is on the bottom? Since when does Maddie not performing put her on the bottom? Next is Jo Jo. Really? Before Nia? How is any of this possible? Then Nia, then Kalani, then Kendall, then MacKenzie. Oh look. It’s Maddie on the top of the period, even above MacKenzie
Abby announces that she no longer works with dance students who are in the teen division. That’s interesting. Nia and Kalani are both teens. Now one must be pulled to keep the group in the junior division. Gee, I wonder who will be pulled? Abby needs to find her some younger kids to dance for her because it looks like her kids are aging out. Continue reading
This video is two years old but it is interesting to watch because it’s a clandestine video of Abby’s Master Class with the girls. Kids were allowed to video parts of the event but NOT the questions and answers. I’m not sure whether it says more about Abby or um “kids today.”
Since humans have been having offspring, each generation seems to be a big fat disappointment. I shudder to think what the young lady who filmed this will find fault with in her offspring in a decade or too.
I think it is time to give up on our species. Continue reading