I can’t believe I am actually watching this show, let alone recapping it, but I am intrigued by the Brandi Glanville we see on this show. We start with Jessica reading cards for Aubrey. It’s not a traditional reading though. Basically, she is just looking for confirmation that her ex is miserable. I’m going to assume he is thrilled to bits to be away from this bitch.
The group is about sex this week. I don’t believe anything the guys said. Brandi says she has friends with benefits. She doesn’t really get attached to them. Paulie has never been in love or made love. He really wants a real relationship. Sadly, he ends up hooking up with Aubrey. Paulie does say he feels used having sex with all his groupies.
The exercise this week is to throw a house party. They are supposed to invite single friends that their cast mates might like. Aubrey has no friends. Aubrey is already making her moves on Paulie. Calum has eyes on Brandi. Josh is super picky. He wants to approve the female friends before they are invited. Somaya’s friends are the same way.
This week it’s Calum’s turn to meet with Dr. Darcy. His father was a very famous pro soccer player who was an alcoholic. His dad had cirrhosis of the liver and got a liver transplant. He continued to drink on the new liver and died of organ failure. Calum gets very emotional telling the story. After his father died when he was 24 he spent three years drinking hard and sleeping with women. Calum realized in his session that the drinking and womanizing was subconsciously him trying to connect to his father.
It’s time for another much needed float around the Greek Islands. I am so much happier to recap this than the nonsense of last night. We begin with Danny once again not listing to Bryan, who advised him to stay out of the lovers quarrel between Hannah and Ben. He just can’t help but jump in and start hurling insults at Hannah, who not only out ranks him on the boat, but is a female. Ben and Jen are both thrilled by Danny’s behavior while Bryan and Bobby find it disturbing. Julia has fled after Hannah who is crying and begging to have the cameras leave her alone for a bit.
Back on the boat, Hannah asks to chat with Ben. Hannah wanted Ben to be her friend in the situation with Danny and he was not. So she continues their conversation from the restaurant to define their relationship. It is decided that they are merely work colleagues. Hannah cries herself to sleep. She must not have watched Ben on Below Deck. The guy is an arrogant asshole.
The next morning, Hannah is still upset. She obviously believes in the philosophy that the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one. So she as a little romantic interlude with Bobby before getting dressed. Bobby tries to make Ben look better to Hannah. Hannah is planning on telling the captain about Danny’s photos of charter guests being passed around to other guests. And she does. I wish she would have also ratted out the deck crew for shoving Danny into the galley so that he is out of their hair, because he is driving her crazy.
Tamra looks like she is keeping up with her workouts and possibly even the severe diet as she is very small and she has lost weight in her face.
Andy plays the clip of Vicki sobbing on the ride home from the yacht party and Tamra says it is heart breaking, but that Vicki didn’t do the right thing. And she never apologized to anyone even though after the reunion she was tweeting everyone that she did. There was a lack of audio for a good bit and I am not sure if she was cussing or if my DVR screwed up again.
Andy says the last time he saw her was at his AC2 tour in Orange County and Alexis was seated right in front of her. Alexis had sent in a long letter about Tamra’s sudden
storyline conversion to Christianity. He asks how that went for her. She said that it actually went well and Alexis said she didn’t intend to come across as mean and she is really happy for her.
Time to take a look at last night’s Orange County. Let’s hope it is a little bit lighter than the mess we saw on Southern Charm last night. We left off with Vicki selecting Heather as the first stop on her apology tour.
Vicki didn’t really practice enough for this conversation. She needed to walk into this knowing what, if anything, she was willing to apologize for and stick to her story. She’s all over the place. She thought that “please forgive me” was going to be sufficient. Heather said she’d be happy to forgive Vicki if she knew what she was asking to be forgiven for.
Back on the interior, Jeana is encouraging the others to forgive Vicki. It’s a war on two fronts. And she is not making and forward motion. So she moves on to crying for our benefit to try to get us to forgive her.
Why is there a committee to vote on whether a fourth grader is too sick for school?
Kelly calls Vicki an invites her to lunch. Can someone take away Kelly’s black brow pencil that looks gray and give her a nice sable brown one? Thanks.
Before we begin this ridiculous fiasco, I had to remind myself that Landon was actually a cast member this season. She just seems like the little annoying gnat trying to get air time through any means possible. And yet there she was on the cast photo I just looked up in that unfortunate dress with the giant black inkspot dangerously near her vagina. I suppose I just overlooked her like everyone else.
It’s hot and this is going to be long so I am just going to recap the situation regarding Kathryn and Thomas and the giant cunt. Can we just call her the giant cunt the whole recap? Okay fine. I don’t let y’all do that so I won’t either, it’s not polite. But I can stop any of us from thinking it.
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Andy asks if anyone thinks the show portrays thems unfairly. This is a trick question. Say yes and you are criticizing production. Say no and then later you can’t complain that you look like a conniving bitch. Kathryn says she has had two babies on the show and that make editing a bit more of an issue with her.
Shep says that he his Palace Motel bar should reopen next month after the fire last January . And his new bar, Commador is open and doing well. Then discussion about him being 36 and still picking up chicks in the bar every night. Shep and Kathryn admit to having a friendly hookup over a bottle of wine on the battery when she was 21. She asks, “What were you doing when you were 21?” I well when I was 19 I was getting drunk at the Wind of Change next to the Windjammer on IOP and waiting to leave with my first love.
Edited because Twitter reminded me Cameran was on The Real World which reminded me that Landon was playing the girl to the right of Whitney Cummings on The Hills. That was probably the high point of her nasty existence, last year she was a homeless girl living on someone’s docked dingy, right?
Tonight is the Southern Charm reunion and Kathryn drops that major bomb that she has been holding back. As we know, Kathryn and Thomas have a very volatile relationship that was very off and on. She calls Landon out on something that made me say,” Holy Shit! I thought that sort of thing only happened to me!” Who is ready for a Tamara Tattles overshare?
Okay, I was in a kind of sort of relationship for several years. It was one of those really bad relationships that you know will not end in a happily ever after but the um.. let’s just see we were quite compatible in one area. Most of the time though we literally wanted to kill each other in the Leanne Locken psychotic murderous way.
But there were these intermittent good stretches that were really, really good and everything was perfect for weeks or months at a time. We went on a few trips together that generally went very well. Then things would implode and we would each see other people. At one point, we planned to go on a trip to NYC for Christmas. I picked the hotel and the plays and our basic lists of things to do. And then he was suddenly a dick. A few weeks later he asked me to dinner to meet someone else that he was in a relationship with. And yes, this was odd. There were a lot of nontraditional component of out relationship. The level of ridiculousness that each of up put up was extreme. Like, let’s all get some therapy extreme. So I’m down with dinner and this other woman that he was involved with.
EDITED: The video did not autostart! YAY!