Big Brother Recap: Who Will Return From the Jury?

Is Austin's Angels Still A Thing? Chop by Please Pass the Paxil.

          Is Austin’s Angels Still A Thing?    Chop by  Pass the Paxil.

So much going on tonight and  I have been on the weird sleep schedule again. I already want to go to bed.  I will be recapping RHONY and Project Runway tomorrow.  Although, tomorrow might be moving day for the site. So anything can happen.

The producers love “Judas.”  And I seem to have missed his nomination speech.  I really want to stay up all night and watch HOH, but I am fading fast.

Vanessa and Steve are pissed with each other after the veto. Vanessa is crying again. Even though she says that Zingbot just made up that she is playing The Crying Game.  Vanessa has added sunglasses to her stupid beanie. She is such a bitch for being so pissy with Steve.  Vanessa is trying to get back in with the Austwins.

Liz tries to confront JMac about outing the alliance. Because she is an idiot.  They didn’t put Vanessa on the block so fuck them. They have no alliance. Next  JMac tries to get Vanessa’s vote. JMac seems t think he can get Vanessa and Meg and James to save him. This will not happen.

Vanessa abuses Steve some more. Steve waffles. Vanessa acts like everyone should do her bidding. Oh yeah and she cries some more.  Then the twins talk to JMac and say that if he agrees to target the returning juror and not use the Austwins as a target.

All of this back and forth about JMac or Steve is ridiculous. You can never tell what will happen. Continue reading

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Catfish Recap: Devan & Rylan

Catfish with Todrick

I just can’t stop watching this messy show because you just never know what sort of fresh stupidity you are going to get. I can only remember one or two happily ever after shows and even they were suspect. I will never understand why reality shows  simply must get faker and faker as the seasons progress. I’m pretty sure there are enough legitimate online idiots out there without resorting to manufactured ones. And yet.. here we go.

Is that Kanye West on my TV screen? Please make it go away.

Max is not there AGAIN this week. Instead we have Todrick, the guy who sings and dances and makes videos and was on Dance Moms. I sort of love him.  Tonight we have a random looking white guy named Devan who delivers pizzas and a white lady, who seems much older to me than the 23 years she claims, called Rylan. They are both in Texas.  They’ve been “online dating” for over a year and they have never video chatted with each other. Um, duh.  Devan seems like he could be the bonafide idiot I am looking for. Todrick is very into all of this and totally up to the job of being Max.

The boys go to meet poor naïve Devan whose heart will soon be stomped on for all of us to see. Devan says that he went to meet her at her aunt and uncle’s house before she moved and they told her that no one by that name lived there. Rylan played it off by saying the uncle didn’t know who he was so he just lied. Welp. Rylan is a big ole Liar McLiarpants.

Nev and Todrick to a quick search and all the Rylan’s they find are guys.  They trace the phone and find a girl named Cassie who is 18 and has a criminal record for car theft and evading police via a car chase, debit and credit card abuse and a not very pretty mugshot. They do a photo search and find that the picture belongs to someone named Savannah who seems to be engaged.  Is he talking to the crimimal? Or the cheater? Continue reading

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Joanna Krupa Must Prove Her Vagina Does Not Smell Bad in Court!

Drunk Brandi

I love a good court case. And when two abject idiots are in court duking it out, it almost makes me want to shove Banjo in a crate and fly out to La La Land to watch this go down live.  It does however pain me to be on Brandi Glanville’s side about ANYTHING, but in this case I must.

Joanna Krupa is dumber than a box of hair. I get she wants to make Brandi squirm and make pay huge attorney bills for saying that Joanna’s “pussy smells like fish.”  But in doing all that, she is keeping herself in the news. Whether or not Joanna’s lady garden smells like sunshine and roses or rotting fish is not the issue here. Joanna just seems to be trying to stay on the tabloids no matter how stupid she looks in the process.

Dragging someone to court over typical housewives taunting is a waste of the court’s time and everyone’s money.  Brandi has hired a new attorney, or found one who will work pro bono for the sheer joy of being a part of this case, and said attorney has a lot of questions for Joanna with regard to her allegedly malodorous lady garden. Continue reading

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Million Dollar Listing San Francisco Recap: St. Louie Blues

MDLSF cast 2

Andrew

We start this episode of Million Dollar Listing San Francisco with a new neighborhood, Tiburon. My God! San Francisco is just one cute little suburb after another.  I should really try to visit there sometime. Tiburon is a peninsula 18 miles north of the city. Apparently, Sean Penn, Hughie Lewis and George Lucas all live there. So basically, normal people can’t afford to live there. Which is okay I guess because we all know they will all die sooner or later in an earthquake.  But let’s just enjoy the pretty little town while we still can.

Andrew has a client there with an obnoxious kid named Louis. Which is pronounced like the handbag creator of course. The house is ginormous. I don’t like the house, but I love the property.  The owner wants 18 million. For once the broker says it is underpriced and could easily bring in 20 million. Louis on the other hand wants more than 20 million. The mother finally listens to Andrew. It’s his biggest listing ever. But Louie is going to be an issue.

Andrew goes to meet with the seller but she has flown off to London and left Louie in charge of the real estate negotiations.  Louie says he got mugged and they broke his jaw. His mouth is wired shut. Andrew tries to use that as a reason to reschedule but Louie is ready to move forward.  Andrew wants to do private showings but Louis wants to have a rager party.  The house has lousy curb appeal, by the way.

I can’t imagine anyone who owns a $20 million house wanting to through a party so that mobs of strangers can drink and stumble around the property, but that is exactly what is going to happen. The word “liability” is echoing through my head, but apparently I’m the only one with an issue.

The tour is sort of a disaster. There are way too many people there. They can’t hear. Then Louis shows up and starts taking over the tour. The seller should NEVER be at an open house. EVER. Then Andrew rides a decorative bike into the pool. And Louis loses his mind. Not stage at all. #eyeroll Continue reading

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Big Brother Recap: Zingbot is ZIngle and Ready to Mingle!

Chop by UNCDavid

                                                        Chop by UNCDavid

By: TheLadyCocotte

Everyone is under Vanessa’s spell. She got Austin to nominate Steve and John. And even though Austin keeps talking about putting her up if the veto gets used, it won’t happen. She won’t let it happen. Steve feels betrayed by Vanessa but can’t help but recognize her strong game play. John is totally over it. He’s been onto Vanessa’s game for weeks now and he’s ready to be done with her, one way or the other. Don’t give up now, Johnny Mack! She’s not invincible. Or is she?

Austin calls everyone together to choose veto competitors. Austin pulls Vanessa. John wants Julia or Meg because they’re both terrible players. As he has every other time he’s picked a veto player, John gets Meg. Steve gets Julia and she’s overjoyed! Just last week she was bitching about never being picked. So basically, the veto competition will be between Austin, Steve, John and Vanessa.

Zingbot just walked thru the door! Houseguests are jumping around and squealing. They’re always excited until he starts zing-ing them. “James, guess what? I heard Meg is going to take you someplace very, very special after the show. The friendzone. Out of your league. Zing!” “Lizzzzz, I’m confused. Suddenly you’re less attractive, less intelligent and less charming. Oh, wait. That’s just Julia. Zing!” “Steve, what’s less cool than a trombonist who cries for his mommy? Nothing. Zing!” “Will someone please take out the trash? It stinks in here. Oh, wait. That’s just Austin. Tuna beard. Zing!” “Meg, your New York attitude is very Sex in the City. Too bad your game is more Sucks in the City. Zing!” “Johhhhn. Five out of five dentists agree: the only thing less attractive than your laugh is your back hair. Zing!” “Vanessa, you have been playing a masterful game. Assuming that game is the crying game. Zing!” “Lizzzzz, you’ve become such an important part of Austin’s life. Are you more excited to meet his mom, his dad or his girlfriend? Zing!” Zingbot gets Liz all riled up about Austin’s girlfriend. He’s pissed that he has to deal with this right before he has to play for veto. Luckily, she gets over it pretty quickly. “You stink and I’m hooking up with a guy that has a girlfriend. Whatever.” Continue reading

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And Now For A Peek Inside the Big Brother House…

You probably will not want to play this one in your cubicle. I’m just saying. But the Twitterverse is in an uproar about the mutual handies between Liz and Austin.  The usual slut friendly Urethra Franklin is even clutching his pearls.

UF also shared with me the love letter that Austin wrote is girlfriend before going into the house.. Continue reading

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I Hate Redoing Graphics

twitter-banner1.jpg

If you see these late night changes feel free to tell me what you like or don’t….

I’ve been looking at this for days.

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Below Deck Premiere: More Foam, Bosun!

Below Deck Cast

Look, I love me some Captain Lee, and the commercials with him for this season have been epic Love Boat throw back kind of stuff, but last season was some bullshit. I am not sure if I am going to recap this shit again if it is a crew that I would never want to cruise with acting like assholes.  I got SO MUCH behind the scenes shit sent to me last season  that I eventually decided not to post.  I just can’t deal with another season of cruise crew going through people’s shit and mocking them, TV show or not.  I know people who crew on cruises, I heard from them, I heard from guests on last season, I still have saved posts I have never pressed the publish button on.  I’m going to try to give this a go.  We shall see what happens and how long I am willing to support this show.

I’m exhausted today. I promise you I will have zero patience for this.

I want to attach Kate to an anchor and throw her overboard.

I love Amy and Eddie. Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York Reunion Part 2 Recap: Ramona Tells All

The sparkly couch.

                                                             The sparkly couch.

I had no idea this was coming on at 8 pm tonight. In fact I just saw it recording and stopped it because I thought it was a social edition of last week. I was busy watching  The Donald Trump Show which is currently airing on every news channel on cable.  It’s mesmerizing.  The news channels are handing Trump this election.  Anyway, on to the show.

I am over the Carole and Adam argument. Carole says this was never a problem with Luann. Luann admits she didn’t mention it. Let it go people!

Finally, on to Dorinda. Andy LOVES Dorinda. Dorinda doesn’t work she inherited her husband’s business which she sold when he died. Hannah doesn’t watch the show and isn’t thrilled that social media talks about her.  Dorinda says Hannah is more reserved like her father and not really into the how show thing. Bethenny keeps jumping in to answer for Dorinda.  THAT’S interesting.  People bring up John’s less attractive points, he wants his business on the show (Bethenny of all people brought that up), he is a bit “handsy”, and the bottom line is Dorinda is happy with him and everyone needs to shut the fuck up.  Kristen’s big moment on the reunion thus far as that a drunk date of one of the housewives got a bit handsy with her. Is she twelve?  Every woman on earth know how to deal with these situations. Dorinda is like, so did you call 911? Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Meghan Edmonds is A Horrible Excuse for a Human

RHOOCvickinoideawhatitslike

              The way I feel about blogging about some subjects.

I will probably regret recapping this. I deliberately skipped last week’s episode. I just can’t with all the fools that think Brooks is faking cancer. It’s just ridiculous. But I shall forge ahead tonight in the hopes that the comments will not require constant moderation. The word cancer sends post directly to moderation on this site ever since the last nasty incident here.  Please try to be respectful those with cancer whatever your opinions are on treatments and diets and the whole nine yards I’m begging you.

Sarah, Ryan, Tamra and the baby, Ava stop by to visit Vicki at her house. It seems that Vicki has offered her gorgeous backyard for the setting of the wedding. Tamra brings up that she wants to get baptized. Vicki brings up the incident with Shannon at dinner. On Vicki’s blog she says that Tamra and the rest of them were interrogating Brooks about his treatment at the gym. This of course was Tamra’s reason for inviting him, under the guise of a birthday celebration. Tamra explains what happens and Vicki at first believes they have prayed the cancer away. Then she realizes that Meghan is saying that Brooks doesn’t have cancer. Vicki chooses to opt out of the NASCAR event.

NASCAR is Meghan’s event through her husband. Jim keeps telling everyone he is “Jim Edmonds” and no one seems to recognize him.  They get to go for a super fast lap around the track. I would not enjoy this even. Though I did go to some kind of a loud race once where you had to wear ear protection and you could literally feel the car noise in your body. It was fun, I had VIP passes and there were lots of hot guys there.  My sister was fucking one of the drivers at the time.  Well during that time. Not while he was racing. Continue reading

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Reports Indicate Josh Taekman Husband of RHONY’s Kristen Taekman Was Active Member of Ashley Madison!

RHONY Kristen Drinking

UPDATE: Josh has issued a lame apology as if spending all that money on the site was just a lark.  “I signed up for the site foolishly and ignorantly with a group of friends and I deeply apologize for any embarrassment or pain I have brought to my wife and family. We both look forward to moving past this and getting on with our lives.” 

Ut Oh! The Daily Mail is reporting that Josh Taekman was uncovered as an active paying member of cheating website Ashley Madison.  The site that encourages married people to hook up and have affairs was hacked recently and over 30 million potential cheaters using the site were outed on public searchable databases published online.

The energy supplement entrepreneur who has two children with his model wife of ten years, Kristen, 38, logged on and had 62 paid transactions, and spent thousands on the cheaters’ site.

Ashley Madison is accessible for free but users must buy credits to send messages: $49 gets 100 credits while $250 earns 1,000 credits and a money-back ‘affair guarantee’ if you don’t have an affair within three months.

Continue reading

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Manzo’d With Children: Mama Manzo’s Day

Manzod with children

It looks like the theme for tonight’s Manzo’d will be very similar to this week’s Don’t Be Tardy. Mamas that don’t want to let their little girls move out.

Oh dear GOD. Chris in the bubble bath with a million little rubber duckies lined up on the side of the tub as he says, “Previously, on Manzo’s with Children,” is ERRYTHANG! Moving on…

I still find it hard to believe that Hoboken is a real town. Let alone a cute one.  Lauren wants to buy a house. Caroline wants Vito and Lauren to live with them and save money so they can buy a nice place. It really is a good idea. Caroline wants to take Lauren to look at houses. I’m gonna bet she makes a down payment on one for them.

Chris arrives in a blue onsies to pick up Albie and Lauren for some project. Chris says Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching and they are going to give their mom, “the gift of time travel.”  I love this show.  Chris pulls out some photos of the kids when they were little. Chris and Lauren were in blue onesies. He apparently want to recreat the photo. I love this idea.  The kids set about recreating multiple photos from they childhood. It’s hysterical. Continue reading

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