Prince

Please stop asking me about Prince rumors.  I am devastated.  He was everything. I will not participate in the madness that click bait media perpetuates. I will not respond to sites that continue to profit from his tragic death. I find it HORRENDOUS that TMZ continues to post so many shitty things every day. I have no comment other than  I find it disgusting and disrespectful.  Please stop emailing, tweeting, DMing, Facebooking me about his death.

Prince was the greatest artist of my time.  I am saddened to my core. I will not participate in the media drama.  I am not interested in the media fest.  I don’t care how he died. I only care so very deeply that he did.

 

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60 Days In Recap: Institutionalized

 

 

I'm a pussy.

I’m a pussy.

I wait my entire week for this show. I love this show. Shall we watch this show together? I’m sort of over my freaky lesbsotronic attraction to Tami and have jumped on the Zac train with all my gay male friends. Either way, I do have way more gay interactions than straight ones these days. I reckon I should bathe and care about getting laid again. By a guy. A straight guy. But that would require washing my hair and shaving a winter’s worth of hair off my legs, which didn’t seem to important on my European vacation but is suddenly becoming itchy. I would never shave a damn thing in prison. I’d probably trade commissary for leg hair braiding replete with beads and declare myself podboss. I have the girth for it,and I’m a bitch.I’m just saying.

D-Pod

With Robert being another little bitch who tapped out, I think we are down to jus Zac and Isaiah for the guys. And if they want to keep Isaiah they need to move his ass back to C-Pod.  They should never have moved him to D-Pod to start with.

Isaiah admits he smoked the crack stick. Which is a segregation offense. Oh Isaiah. You grandmamma is going to be so disappointed by your peer pressure. That said. It is not crack or even an illegal substance so hopefully they decide to roll him back to C-Pod.  Conveniently,  we are told that the Sheriff doesn’t know he has smoked a “crack stick.” Yet, he is concerned about Isaiah’s sheeplike following of a really bad crowd in D-Pod.

Meanwhile, one of Zac’s roommates, Earp,has made some jail house hooch in his room. Zac could totally go down for this, or they could send him to C-Pod. Apparently, Earp has made moonshine before, it included his own piss. Yummers!

The guards come in to do a blanket check. Because that is a good use of time. God forbid there be an extra blanket or two in there. On the other hand, I get it. Everything is money in jail and if you have a spare blanket, you can use it as leverage. Everyone is sent to their cell. Zac tells Earp to dump the hooch.

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Teen Mom 2 Recap: Courtroom Dramas All Around

One of these two is growing at a MUCH faster rate

One of these two is growing at a MUCH faster rate

Where have all my Teen Mom watchers gone?  I know you are reading, it’s okay to come out of the closet and chat with us too!  Let’s check out this week’s drama!

Chelsea

Chelsea and Cole are going to look at a wedding location. Chelsea’s mom comes to pick up Aubree because the location is a good bit away.  Her mom is stuck in a snowdrift because the driveway has not been shoveled. For that matter the street doesn’t seem to be plowed either.  Clearly they live in the middle of no where!  Chelsea and two of her friends have to push the truck out. Where was Cole?

Chelsea and Cole take two of Chelsea’s friends on the road trip with her to plan her wedding. It’s sort of an outdoor winter wonderland at the moment. Very rustic and cute. I think Chelsea has said that just like her engagement her wedding will not be televised.  She has a good head on her shoulders.

Chelsea and her lawyers are sitting down with Adam and his lawyers about child support. Adam has not told Chelsea about a his new house because he is worried it will alert her that he can pay more child support. They met with a moderator who said that Adam did not show up for the meeting and the moderator is going to request his child support be raised to around $1,000 a month instead of the less than $200 he has always paid.

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WHHL With Jules Wainstein

WWHL Jules Wainstein

Jules Wainstein was on WWHL last night and I didn’t even put it on my recap list because I didn’t recognize the name!  I just checked the guest list and was glad I didn’t have a late night recap on top of Catfish and RHONY.  The even truthier truth is that I just wanted to watch the premiere of The Challenge Rivals III on MTV because I think I will be 95 years old and still watching MTV challenge shows and there will probably be 83 year old Wes and  Johnny Bananas still falling off high structures suspended over rocks.  But let’s see what we missed on WWHL

First of all, Andy’s tie is almost straight! It’s like the force was with him. Secondly, Jules is wearing a necklace that looks like it is made from the Styrofoam cutout sheets I used to used when I taught in the primary grades. As much as I bitch about you guys, this is way more fun than sitting around all night cutting out random shapes to go with my author studies.  Ususally. But really, this necklace is ridiculous. Is that what old money is wearing these days? Styrofoam? Now that I think about it, there is not a single person on RHONY that has a decent jewelry collection. It almost makes me miss Jill Zarin. Almost.

The drinking word is “like” because Jules can’t go six words without saying it. It’s way too early for me to drink thank God, or I’d be plastered before lunch. Later, they played a count of the amount of times the word like was said during that lunch. It was a whooping 47 times.

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Catfish Recap: Paris & Tara

Paris tells her tale to the boys

Paris tells her tale to the boys

It’s time to meet a new batch of morons on this week’s Catfish!  After all the excitement last week,  I have barely recovered.  People came from far and wide to talk about that crazy episode with the Courtney the Psychic!

Paris is 25 years old and lives in the burbs of Chicago. Paris met Tara over four years ago in a chat room.  Really? Chatrooms are so 1984. YAY! It’s a lesbian catfish episode. These almost always end with a chick fight! I can’t wait.

As the story goes, these two star crossed lovers were going to meet up but Tara had an accident. Ah, the old accident excuse. Not as good as that one chick who claimed to have been kidnapped, but it will do.  Tara pretty much stopped talking to Paris after this accident but two years later, she has reached out again. Paris actually has the mental capacity to search a photo on the internet and it traced back to some recent high school graduate in Jersey.

The boys head to Oak Lawn to visit Paris. She has the requisite new furnishings, devoid of any copyrighted artwork and everyone sits down in their plain clothes with no logos to shoot the story. Paris tells the story of how after the accident  Tara couldn’t really text because she had a head injury that apparently left her unable to think clearly and therefore she could no longer chat online.  I like the shiny new orange chair!  No sign of watermelon paint yet. This house is awfully nice to be hers.  She’s twenty five and a massage therapist. Paris dated another girl from the same chat room named Nicole and they broke up because Paris is Bi.  So mystery solved. The catfish is Nicole. Maybe the watermelon paint will show up at Nicole’s house later.  Nicole and Paris had a bad break up because Nicole thought that Paris was dating a guy from massage school. Paris says they were just good friends.

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Real Housewives of New York Recap: Birthday Bashing

RHONY season 8

 

Bethenny

Bethenny is obsessed with Brynn. It’s cute. She’s pacing up to go on at trip with Brynn? I don’t think she is allowed to film per Jason’s orders.

Okay I am done recapping and this packing scene had absolutely nothing to do with anything at all this episode. I guess they just needed a Bethenny scene and stuck it in as filler. Did I miss something?

Dorinda

Carole and Dorinda out to lunch. Carole starts right in talking about Jules’ house.  And her body. Carole talks about who ate what.  Then she says the energy may have been off because of John. Dorinda did not like that one bit. She has decided to just not bring John around the girls. Good idea.

Jules arrives to lunch and Carole acts like she wasn’t just trash talking her. But we move on to Jules talking about how critical Bethenny was of her home.  Carole of course defends Bethenny. Jules says she is old money and Bethenny is new money. You know Jules, when you start a new job you need to check the lay of the land and find out who is tight with the higher ups. Then you steer clear of them and try not to trash talk them. Jules says she wants to sit down and chat with Bethenny. Oh Jules, I’m not sure you are up to that.

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