American Horror Story: Freak Show Teaser Precap Episode 4, Killers & Kinky Leather

AHS Edward 2By: Urethra Franklin

Warning:  Spoiler-ish so spank me.

Last week Elsa Mars’ song summoned me to download “Gods and Monsters” as well as Mr. Hot Goth Mordrake & his 2nd evil face to the Freak Show. Luckily for Ethel she was “not the one”, and her life & soul was spared by Mordrake from being part of his ghostly entourage. In the promo teaser for tonight’s episode 4, Mordrake pays a visit to Elsa’s tent as she has been expecting him. Does she think he’s the dark haired stranger from Mystic Esmeralda’s fake reading that is going to make her a star? Or does she know that he is the two-faced legend that her troupe of freaks fear? Is Elsa is the freak that Evil Face choses to kill?

We are going to learn about Elsa’s past in Germany. I don’t think it’s going to be war related but do beware of The Watchers. If you know German history you should know what that means; if not then watch tonight.  Not only is Elsa’s past grisly, it is also SUPER KINKY as in bitch get down on all fours and lick my boots you bad little Schnauzer. YASSS kinky as in dog collars, leather, lace, masks & whips worthy of a Steven Meisel & Madonna photo shoot. You all are gonna be shocked & thrilled at how committed Jessica Lange is to her role.  Sorry no prudes allowed. #WoofMistressElsa Continue reading

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Brandi Glanville Running Her Mouth On Steve Harvey Show

RHOBH Brandi Glanville Steve Harvey

Brandi Glanville’s father recently had heart surgery and just a couple days ago was released from ICU, and during that time, Brandi took the opportunity to go on Steve Harvey to have him help her find a man. According to publicity trailers for the show that will air tomorrow, Steve Harvey, for the first time ever basically declared Brandi undateable and suggested she get her shit together before trying to date.  Today on her Twitter she once again announced she had dumped another man, a 23-year-old boytoy. Actually, it’s unclear who dumped who… On the show Brandi asked one bachelor how he felt about women with fake hair, breasts and nails.  He replied that he’d be concerned everything else about her was fake. She immediately dismissed him from consideration. Eventually, Steve tells Brandi he doesn’t think she should go out with either of his choices. After watching her in action, she’s just not ready to date. Continue reading

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Bethenny Frankel Fans Continue to Worry About Her Alarming Weight Loss

RHONY BethennyIt was just last July when Bethenny Frankel was admonished by the judge in her custody case with Jason Hoppy for posting a picture of herself wearing her four-year-old daughter, Brynn’s Hello Kitty pajamas on twitter. The judge called the decision ridiculous. When her lawyer said that it was just a joke, the judge replied by saying, “It’s not a joke. Her child is not a joke.”

Yesterday, Bethenny’s fans were appalled after she posted the above picture on Twitter pimping her new book of cocktail recipes. Several comments were left on Twitter and Instagram by fans who were deeply concerned about her health. Continue reading

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Bethenny Frankel on The View: Having a Relationship on TV Was A Little Bit Gnarly

The VIew

We’ve been talking about Bethenny Frankel returning to RHONY, and we all have our opinions. Not nearly as many as we have about Jason Hoppy (y’all are a bunch of assholes, btw) which we argue about here. Today, Bethenny appeared on The View. Let that sit with you for a minute. You wanted your own talk show, you got one, and it didn’t work out. Now you find yourself going on a talk show with a track record of a million years to pimp your brand again. Bethenny has never seemed particularly happy except in the first few weeks of her talk show, and I imagine this is an emotional nadir for her.

While we wait for Bethenny, I’d like to point out a couple of things. I happened to watch The View yesterday. I’ve been trying to remember to watch to see what this new incarnation of the show is like and yesterday they had a Elizabeth Warren, a far left democrat who many in her party want to see fight Hillary Clinton for the democratic nomination in 2016 on.  Warren is very outspoken and has a huge following and very pro-women’s rights and such. It’s great that The View had her on. However, she was there to campaign for three female democratic candidates, one in New Hampshire, one in Kentucky and one in Georgia.  Here, in Georgia we have very tight races across the board coming up. I don’t affiliate with either party. Currently, I am leaning toward the democratic challenger for governor and the republican candidate for Senate, but I’m not completely sold on anyone. The candidate she advocated based on her ads that are all over my TV are all basically saying various versions of “Vote For Me I Have a Vagina! David Perdue Hates Vaginas!” So I was curious what this esteemed politician would say about her platform.  So she talked about the woman from Kentucky. I believe her platform is minimum wage laws. And said something about the NH woman. And I waited patiently for a reason to vote for Michelle Nunn and the woman said David Perdue owned companies that outsourced labor to China. Um, okay. Most companies do that. I wish they didn’t. But what about Michelle Nunn can you tell me anything about her?  Warren basically said she was a fine woman. So today the new version of Elisabeth Hasselbeck was allowed to mention the opposing candidates. Which I think you legally have to do. So that was good. Continue reading

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Below Deck “Crew Tells All”

Below Deck Kat

So it’s a crew tells all episode.  Which is hilarious because hasn’t the crew already said too much?

Kelly crying montage. Sigh.

Kelly and Eddie Bromance montage. Ugh.

A montage of the boat breaking, ceilings falling in. No wonder they changed the boat name after this show.

Bathroom jokes.

We are having a very odd emergency alert that shut down the whole channel. It was more interesting than what  they were showing.

Eddie is always hysterically funny on theses lost footage shows. But we never see it on the episodes.

Andrew is doing talking heads on this episode.

Montage of Kelly “being hot.” I’m missing the whole hot part. Continue reading

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So What Do We Think of This Wig?

RHOA Nene new wig.

And where are her pants?

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Jodi Arias Afternoon Session Recap 10/28

Jodi Arias Martinez

And we are back. Nurmi asks Flores again if the bullet is a hollow point. Flores says he would need to review the ballistics report to answer that. Then he questions the sex tape and asks if was authenticated.  Flores says no. Um Nurmi, this is YOUR evidence that YOU brought in. He goes on to talk about all the nasty sex talk and point out how that is not the conversations of  a good moron boy. He talks about Travis wanting to beat up Abe. He talks about Travis wanting to tie Jodi to a tree. Basically, it’s bash the victim time. Martinez objects. Sidebar.

Flores is Mormon so it is determined that he is qualified to testify that Travis’ phone conversation was not acceptable to the church. Nurmi goes over detail after detail pointing out that Travis was not the perfect 30 year old virgin he proclaimed himself to be. Nurmi is asking questions like, Do the  laws of chastity include Travis shooting jizz on Jodi’s face? Juan Martinez is objecting his head off.  Sidebar. Loud and animated. Nurmi wins and has the court reporter read the jizz question back. lol. Who is this new Nurmi?

Nurmi: “Would knowing what a 12-year-old girl’s 1st orgasm sounds like be consistent with laws of chastity?” Objection. SIDEBAR. Animated lawyers on both sides. Nurmi: Detective Flores, you let me know if you don’t understand any of the questions I’m asking. Okay? Nurmi- Is it illegal for anyone to have sex with a 12 year old? Flores…yes it’s illegal.”Would it be legal to watch videos of a 12yo girl having her first orgasm?” OBJECTION SIDEBAR!  Stephens allows Nurmi to ask different forms of the question, over and over. Continue reading

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Jodi Arias Morning Recap 10/28

Jodi Arias Day 2

We begin the morning with a sidebar. Juan has some scheduling questions. Nurmi has some objections, I’d presume. It’s taking a while. I think Juan left the courtroom briefly. The plan if we make it that far is for Nurmi to cross Flores today. I think Nurmi will be playing the sex tape to show that Travis was sexually deviant. Bascially, it will be a blame the victim day, in my prediction.  Yep, there it is. Judge Stephens warns court watchers that graphic video and audio of a sexual nature will be displayed. They should not have a reaction. If they don’t think they can handle it they need to leave. Then the jury is allowed in and Flores takes the stand. The sisters of Travis Alexander opt not to be in the courtroom for this portion of proceeding and wait elsewhere in the courthouse.

Nurmi begins by showing Flores a cardboard box with a mix of blood and water. Then attention is turned to the shell casing in the bathroom. The casing is on top of the blood stain. This has been an issue in every version of this trial. Flores says he is not sure if the casing was kicked during investigation of the scene. Nurmi seems interested in knowing if the  bullet is a hollow point. Flores says he can’t tell from the picture. I’m pretty sure Flores knows if it is a hollow point or not.

Nurmi shows the shower scenes and the time stamps. He says if Jodi wanted to kill him (what?) she had twenty four seconds to do it while his back was turned. He measures off 24 second of silence.  He waits out another 16 seconds for the amount of time between next photo. Nurmi asks Flores if he were to turn his back to him, would he be able to see him? This line of questioning seems pointless. Nurmi is trying to say that Jodi had opportunities to kill Travis that she didn’t take. Inadvertently, he is also saying she wanted him to know who killed him. Continue reading

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Bethenny Frankel Rumors…?

bethenny and RamonaAndy Cohen is busting his buttons over his kitchen table talk deal with Bethenney Frankel this past summer. Clearly, he made it worth her while to come back and try to save the half-dead RHONY.  But RHONY has been filming for awhile and there have been no sightings of her filming.

What’s the problem?

Apparently, it’s Jason Hoppy. I’m hearing the real reason that Andy and Bethenny cooked up this little deal and kept it a secret was Bethenny’s divorce. It seems that 50/50 custody has finally been agreed to. we were in the homestretch and everyone was moving forward. Things are more amicable. Continue reading

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WWHL Guest List Updates!

Sorry, I just sort of love this pic.... ShadeByAndy

Sorry, I just sort of love this pic…. ShadeByAndy

Here are the latest updates to the WWHL Schedule.  I like Michael J. Fox. He’s such an inspiration and still funny! And of course Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts and Sarah Paulson will be awesome.  Martin Short and Lisa Kudrow should be hysterical. Continue reading

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Jodi Arias Afternooon Update 10/27/14

This is the look Jodi gives to each juror as they walk in.

This is the look Jodi gives to each juror as they walk in.

Everyone is back in court, including Juror 12 and we are back to listening to Flores conversation with Jodi.  Actually, this sounds like the interrogation video. Flores tells Jodi they found the camera. She says she has never seen Travis’ camera, she had recently helped him pick a good one but she is not sure what he ended up with. She says she was not there. Flores says they have pictures of her there. Jodi denies it. He tells her he has seen their naked pictures. She tells him it must be from another time. She denies it is her. She lies and denies like a Below Deck Head Stew. Flores explains he has her hair, a bloody handprint mixed with both her blood and Travis’. Pictures. She’s busted. There is no way out of this. She continues to deny. She utters the famous line, “I would never hurt Travis. If I had done this I would beg for the death penalty.”

Jodi wants to see the pictures. She pretends like she doesn’t know about her nude pictures in pigtails. Flores tells her that everyone says she is obsessed with Travis. She was stalking him. She brutally killed him. It was a fatal attraction.  Jurors are watching video intently. Jodi asks if they found the gun. Jodi wants details of the killing because she has a morbid curiosity.

Jodi draws Flores a map outlining her “trip to Salt Lake City.” She had no GPS and is bad with directions and got lost. Flores says she turned her phone off the whole time she was in Arizona. She says the battery died. He points out it worked again when she was in Utah. Jodi says she is not a murderer. They take a break and Jodi acts very bizarrely in the room alone. Stretching, head stands. laying on the table. Flores returns. She asks what kind of gun he carries (a glock.) She says that if Travis were there she would tell him she didn’t do it.  Flores says it’s his job to speak for Travis now. He knows she did it. Flores shows her the naked photos. She admits it looks like her. And Travis. He shows her the picture of her dragging Travis down the hallway. “That’s your foot, Jodi. Those are your pants. That’s Travis’s body.”  Jodi denies. She says if she were going to kill someone, she would use gloves. She has plenty of them. Flores tells her a neighbor saw her at Travis’.  More lies. More denial. He says even her parent have given statements saying they believe she did it. Continue reading

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Exclusive: Tiny Drop of RHOA Tea…

RHOA Korean Flight

Exclusive: Play nice. Please excerpt and clearly link. Ebola. Blah.  Blah. Blah.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kenya Moore, Cynthia Bailey, Phaedra Parks, Kandi Burruss, Demetria McKinney, Porsha Williams, and Claudia Jordan have left the country.  That’s way too many housewives. SEVEN.  And Nene is not on the trip.  I’ve been working sources for a day or so now and the best I can determine is that the ladies are going to BALI. That is one long ass trip. It’s even longer from Atlanta than it is from Beverly Hills and you know how jetlagged they all were.

The ladies are on a new fangled AIRBUS 380 that is often referred to as a cruise ship in the sky. It’s a double decker plan that holds around 400 passengers. There are three classes. I think the ladies are in the midlevel class which is the complete top level of the plane. That section has a bar/lounge. On the lower deck there is a high end duty-free shop with perfume and make-up and booze. They left on Korean Air’s 15 hour flight to Seoul, Korea. That much I know for sure. That is the only place  Korean Air flies the Airbus 380 to from ATL. From there, I’m making an educated guess that Bali is their final destination. They would have an overnight layover and then fly the next 7 hour leg into Bali. You know how all the franchises end up going to the same places. Continue reading

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