By CJ Bomb (and Leslie)
Ok. Can we please finish this nonsense so we don’t have to deal with it EVER AGAIN??? Oh and Heidi? You are a terrible actress. We pick up where we left off with Michael calmly walking off the set and proclaiming the unfairness of the competition. Tim tells him he is entitled to his opinion, but Michael explains that Claire’s designs have been a direct rip-off of everything she and her sister have worn and that is hanging in their closets. It’s one thing to measure and reference clothes you own, it’s quite another to keep knocking off things that already exist. Heidi is still demanding to know what is going on. Les and I think it’s a bit hard to take her seriously. Batani now starts to explain how Margarita was upset about Claire referencing her winning top from last week. Claire is HORRIFIED that she is being accused of this. (Kenya is mouthing: you did) Judges are ok with referencing. I swear to God if Claire stays I’m going to be so upset.
Michael is now telling Tim that she has a ruler in her apartment and she measures things, writes them down and brings them back in the morning. He says he has seen it and Margarita says she has also seen it, as well as heard her talk about it. Tim is now pissed as if this is in fact true, it is cheating. Michael and Margarita come back on the runway and apologize. Yolanda asks them if they are judges or participants. Shut up Yolanda, you don’t even like prints. Michael again states Claire copies looks she already has as well as others. Heidi states that they are all inspired by each other. Nina and Zac, who should be the voices of reason, agree that the decision stands with Claire as the winner. She goes back to the workroom and tells the others what’s going on. Batani is eliminated and handles it with grace and class. Back in the workroom Claire is still INCENSED that she would be accused of cheating. When she mentions she does in fact have a tape measure and pens and paper to make notes outside the workroom, Amy is now realizing that Claire is breaking the rules. Michael comes in and apologizes to her (????) as does Margarita (?????????) for how this went down. But Michael points out that she copied her good and evil top and Claire keeps yelling that she was just sketching a tank top!! And measuring crotches!! In her room!! It’s not cheating!!
Tim (sanity) enters. He asks Claire if she has a measuring tape in her room. She rolls her eyes like my 12 year old and says yes. He then asks if she has been measuring garments in her room. She says yes again. He says, Claire, we must rescind (great use of that word) your win and and send you home. I text Les that she should be sent home for rolling her eyes at Tim. Leslie writes that she is crazy mad how this was handled. She can’t believe that production made them go through all this drama and she hates Lifetime. Everyone is crying. Claire still somehow thinks she’s a victim. No Claire, your fellow contestants are the victims. The ones who were voted off. They played fair and you didn’t. Brandon’s is picked for the win based on his print and Batani gets to stay. Brandon is like, huh? But he happily takes it and I have to say it looks nice on a Dixie cup. Les then types that our crush crushed the Dixie cup challenge. We even get to see the ad. Leslie types: cheating gets you no wear Claire. I groan. She truly is on fire tonight. Claire regrets….bringing the measuring tape home.
Let’s just put this whole sad THREE PART chapter of nonsense behind us shall we? Indeed.
Onwards and Upwards. Or as Les says YAY! Back to normalcy. The designers walk onto a runway filled with little girls playing with toys at multiple stations. Leslie hopes they are dressing these cute kiddos. I am not. And by the look on his face, neither is Brandon. The girls are playing with Shopkins Shoppies. Dolls that have A LOT of accessories. Like hoarders. Les wishes she had this when she was little and thinks it’s a lot more creative than Barbie or American Girl. They didn’t make a goth Barbie so I wouldn’t know. In a major twist we did not see coming, Tim explains that each girl is a Shopkins superfan and has a favorite doll. They will explain the doll’s look to their assigned designer and the designer will have to come up with an avant-garde design to compliment it. AVANT GARDE, yay! And we think this is such a cool way of doing it. Because what is avant garde if not big kid fantasy dress up? I said this last season and I will say it now. If you don’t know what an avant-garde look is, please google, Alexander McQueen, Iris Van Herpen, Viktor and Rolf and/or Rei Kawakubo. Go ahead, we’ll wait for you. Unless you are Daphne Guiness, these are not clothes for wearing on a night out or a trip to Publix. (unless you are Daphne Guinness) They are extreme expressions of what fashion can be; i.e. wearable art. Iris Van Herpen’s looks are usually purchased off of the runway by MUSEUMS. So none of that: but who would wear that?? Please. The prize is a one of a kind doll inspired by the winning look and five thousand dollars. We are happy until Tim tells them this is a one day challenge. Seriously, does Heidi have some sort of music fest she needs to hit? Can’t we get two days for Avant Garde? We are displeased.
Ayana’s girl likes bright colors and bows. Les points out that this is my worst nightmare. Ayana is going to do lots of ruffles. That actually might be my worst nightmare. Batani’s girl would like her doll to have a very sparkly dress. Kentaro’s cutie brought a sketch. Her doll is going to an art gallery and a party. I want that doll. Michael’s girl also brought a sketch ad she is very specific. She is going to a disco party and dancing to funky music. Michael adores her and so do we. He’s going to do a jumpsuit disco ball. Brandon’s girl loves chocolate. She wants it all over the dress. He looks concerned. Kenya’s girl is a BOSS on the red carpet. Kenya loves it. Margarita’s girl loves glitter. Margarita points out she does as well…so win-win. Amy loves talking and playing with her little girl so much she forgets to sketch. She misses her 16 year old daughter and playing with this child is making her super wistful for times gone by. It is a sweet moment, but we are worried she has lost focus.
The designers are creating “make it work” songs. They are laughing and teasing each other. Amy points out that without the twits everything is so much better. Someone wishes they had an eliminated designer to help them. Well, not the ones that just left, says Amy. Brandon still seems a bit lost and Tim has told him to “do him”. Good advice.
Batani has picked strong colors and prints and has random pieces hanging off her garment. She says something about butterflies but Tim tells her that with her elaborate color story she doesn’t want things to get too distracting. He tells her to remove the tentacle.
Kentaro is focusing on feeling instead of structure. He wants to make a lot of different parts and build it on the model. Tim is cool with this. We feel like this is Kentaro’s challenge. It will be awesome or a disaster. Tim is very impressed by Margarita’s MacGyver moment of using packing foam under her fabric to create voluminous shapes. He is also happy with Kenya’s mermaid looking dress. Ayana’s look. Ummm. I’m getting a clown vibe. Tim tells her to edit immediately. Tiers and ruffles are good….metallics and polka dots together…not good. Michael explains that his look is a disco ball melting on the model’s body. Les wants him to design for the next silver and white party we hit. (We went to one last month). Tim tells him that with the silver sequined fabric he is using he can’t hide any mistakes and to watch every detail. Tim is concerned about Amy. Les and I are concerned about Amy. Tim thinks her outfit is a mish-mash of two different looks. He then tells her one of her textiles looks like cheap pantyhose. Ouch. Brandon is still stuck. He gets avant-garde (love it when young contestants do their homework) but he’s not sure how to incorporate his own vision. He decides to do multiple layers.
Ok Kentaro telling Margarita that they are going to sauna and then asking Kenya to join made my whole evening. Kenya is like, huh? Sauna he says. Salmon? She responds. He says: Yes Santa! Merry Christmas Kenya!! Everyone giggles. I love this workroom. Brandon is STILL struggling which has caught everyone’s interest considering he is one of the front-runners. Kentaro steps in to help his brother and Michael notes that this has happened before. Yes, but it has also happened many times when Brandon has helped Kentaro. Kentaro has a distinct look, as does Brandon. When they leave for the night Kentaro tells everyone not to bring a measuring tape home. Everyone laughs.
I text Leslie that JCPenney and Avant Garde are not two things I ever thought I would type in the same sentence. Les thinks JCPenney needs the boost in exposure and sales and PR has no problem accepting sponsorship these days. Again, no disrespect to Penneys or the customers who shop there. It just seems like an odd pairing. Amy is not happy with her look. It is very basic. I’m sad as I thought this would have been a challenge she would have excelled at. I text Leslie regarding Ayana: I’m not sure what’s going on here……that’s a really big fucking bow. Batani’s is a LOT. Brandon seems to have gotten it together. Everyone keeps saying he might be in the bottom. Everyone is wrong. Michael’s model looks like a space disco diva. That is a compliment.
Heidi is is a very short, very tight dress. This one works and Les says her body is sick. In a good way. Speaking of sick bodies, Kate Upton is the guest judge. My twelve year old has come down to say good night and suddenly seems interested in the show. I send him to his room. Thankfully none of the last episode’s drama is mentioned. Clean slate. Let’s do this.
Brandon’s look is cool. Period. You can say what you want about Brandon, but do you know how hard it is to cultivate a design aesthetic that is recognizable without being gimmicky? I can point out a Rick Owens design. I can point out a Zac Posen design. I can point out a Isabel Marant design…etc..etc…etc…. I can now point out a Brandon Kee design, and he’s 24. And I would wear ANYTHING he has designed so far. That is saying something. Les thinks she looks like a hip Marie Antoinette and it’s super cool. She wonders if he’s gone far enough. Leslie asks me if Batani forgot the fabric in the upper right butt cheek of her garment. I tell her that this dress is weird and not avant-garde weird. Bad weird. Girl, why didn’t you stick to mis-matching prints in a crazy way?? We both love Kenya’s but Les thinks she missed the hem length or heel height. Ayana’s model rocked her look. It was weird. It was extreme. It worked. Les says: kid friendly to the max. Amy’s was simple. We think too simple. Margarita’s is what Batani’s wanted to be. Les disagrees, thinking it looks like someone couldn’t figure out what their wedding dress was supposed to be so they did everything. We both adore Michaels’s. This is what they, who must not be named thought they could do. Kentaro’s is pretty, but forgettable. I expected so much more from him.
Leslie picked Ayana, Michael and Brandon for the top with Michael for the win. I picked Brandon, Ayana and Michael for the top with Michael and Ayana for a tie. Les picks Batani, Amy and Margarita for the bottom with Batani to go. I pick Kentaro (sniff) Amy and Batani for the bottom with Batani to go.
Heidi tells them one, “or more of you” will be out. She then says that they loved the runway so much there are four designers on top and two on the bottom. Huh.
Kate says that Ayana’s look is a showstopper. Heidi cannot believe she made it in one day. She loves the imagination and the volume. Zac says it’s a “surrealist Bo-Peep”. Nina loves how the bow is sophisticated and child like at the same time.
Nina thinks Michael’s looks so incredibly well made. It makes Kate want to go dancing. I’m not sure the world could handle that. I know my 12 year old couldn’t. Heidi thinks it looks good from every angle. Zac says it is fresh, exciting and new and is very impressed with the level of imagination.
Zac tells Brandon that though his looks may not be everyone’s cup of tea, he has a very clear aesthetic and he does really great work. He wants to see more from him. Kate loves the intricate top. Nina respects that he KEPT his aesthetic in this challenge and tells him they understand his language through his clothes.
Heidi thinks that Batani’s looks like a lot of scraps sewn together. Nina thinks it looks like she ran out of time. She can’t tell whether the look is unfinished or it’s the look she wanted to create. Zac asks why she wanted the black fabric on the thigh showing. He says that he wrote “laundry day” in his notes and says the back cut out isn’t flattering. No one wants back fat. Even hot models. Kate says it’s not polished.
Heidi doesn’t think Amy’s is bad but meh. Zac says there’s nothing risky about it. She should have taken her streamlined look and run with it. Kate was hoping for a dramatic reveal that didn’t come. Nina wanted to see her break the norm.
Heidi thinks Margarita’s look is stunning and it looks like a cloud. Kate thinks it is very flattering. Zac says that she draped it perfectly and let the fabric speak. Nina loves how she built an explosion of so many fabrics.
Michael wins! He is very happy and gracious. To no one’s surprise, Batani is out…again. She says that different people like different things and she is cool with it. To everyone’s surprise Amy is ALSO out. She is very gracious and emotional and says how much she will miss everyone, very much like when her students move on. She also says this has transformed her in a good way. We wonder it Tim will save her, but he sends them both to the workroom to clean out their stuff. Everyone was truly sad to see them go. So Margarita and Michael were redeemed and the non-essential drama has left the building. What do you think? Should they have spoken out sooner? Unconventional coming up. Brace yourselves….Have a great weekend everyone. xoxo