Based on the title, I presume this episode will be very Peggycentric. Pretty much anytime anything happens anywhere, one of my readers is there. So I can only assume I have quite a few Armenian readers here. So I have a question. Peggy seems to really be trying to oversell the Armenian thing. Yet when they cook “Armenian food” it seem like no one really seems to know what they are doing. I’m not saying that Peggy is not Armenian it just feels oddly inauthentic to me. Is that wrong?
We start with the sit down between Vicki and Tamra that is meant to clear the air, but we already know that these two don’t get back together until Iceland when one or the other of them is hospitalized. After the retrospective of Vicki and Tamra over more than ten years, I really want these two to be besties stick together until the end of this trainwreck of a show. But once again we have a housewives meeting where both of them are expecting the other to apologize. Oh I forgot to mention that Vicki was on Wendy Williams today in a very awkward stop on her press tout. Wendy did not know how to pronounce Gunvalson or Tamra. I was embarrassed for Wendy. Vicki handled herself well even when Wendy asked about Brook. Wendy clearly has never seen an episode of RHOC, not that there is anything wrong with that, but her prep was terrible. Perhaps because Vicki was not even a guest but merely a walk on during her Hot Topics. Anyway the only tea was Wendy asked if they even got to the meal during this scene and she said no, Tamra only ordered tea and came with the agenda of walking off. Which she did.
When Vicki lets it slip that maybe if Eddie is gay he married her for the gym business. Tamra says Eddie walked away from a $400,000 job at law firm WITH HIS DAD. Wait what? He has a dad? Or a Sugardaddy? Because doesn’t the story go that Eddie was orphaned or something and nobody and some random older man took him into his house? Isn’t that the genesis of that entire GAY EDDIE THEORY? So was the law firm owned by his sugardaddy? I am so confused. Tamra storms out just like the script called for. Vicki has the sads.
I zipped through Peggy and Diko because the episode is mostly going to be about their 22nd Anniversary party.
On to Kelly cooking with her dad. Kelly’s mom and dad had a bad thirty year marriage. They waited until the kids were grown to divorce. This gives Kelly pause. As a kid she wanted her parents to get divorced. She says that she has been keeping her marriage together for Jolie. After filming ended, Kelly filed for divorce. Again.
Lydia and her mom go shopping. Her parents just inherited a lot of money. As she says Paris Hilton money. I wish Lydia would not mention that. It just makes the haters worse. I also hope I have the health and energy Lydia’s mom has if I make it to 69.
It’s time for the Armenian Rhapsody or whatever. Peggy trying to get her young son to get Vicki and Tamra to give him a kiss on the cheek at the same time its pathetic. The fact that the kid is negotiating a price is even more bizarre. I worked as a gate agent for Eastern Airlines for a brief time right before they went belly up. I love airports and have spent a lot of time in them. I have this one member of an older, possibly Middle Eastern man and a very young girl trying to navigate to their departure gate. She was have a total meltdown tantrum about who knows what and he way a nervous wreck begging her to please stop and offering her $100. She was around four or five. It was the most hysterical thing ever. This institution reminds me of that style of parenting. Perhaps that guy was Armenian. The kid gets his $1000 requirement and demands payment in advance. I suspect Armenians are not thrilled with the Kardasians or this family representing them. I get it. I’m from Atlanta.
Peggy’s son Koko who is supposed to broker the Vicki -Tamra détente gets passed off to Vicki by his own father. Vicki who is drunk, begins to tell Koko that there are two women here who don’t like her very much and she doesn’t even care anymore. Production is literally bringing the children into the vicious storyline of the adults. I need to refresh my drink. Literally, I thought I could wait fifteen more minutes but no.
I keep saying a I pretty sure Diko is Lebanese, not Armenian. Peggy introduces the “Armenian food” made by the caterers. She starts with tabbouleh, which is Lebanese. She says she will never make it herself because it is a lot of work. That is only true if like me she has shitty knives and hates chopping. It literally requires boiling water and chopping. Next was baba ganoush also Lebanese and Armenian and most middle eastern countries. Meghan asks Diko is Peggy makes all of these dishes they are eating. He says yes. She asks what her best dish is. He says she is good at all of it. Based on what I have seen of Peggy and there kids in the kitchen, the best thing she makes is reservations.
Next comes the belly dancer. Diko starts of sticking money in the dancer’s costume. Peggy and Diko dance with her. Peggy is drunk and does the tacky attention-getting stunt of banging cutlery on glassware. Then she purposely drops the glass on the floor. Every year, Diko says gets two of the same gifts, one for year of them. Last year it was two Ferraris. This year it is two Audemars Piguet watches and also a 22 carat diamond necklace as a bonus gift for Peggy. Vicki’s boyfriend’s disgusted face says everything on my mind.
Drunk Diko pulls drunk Shannon aside. BTW, David and Eddie both passed on this filming, Vicki was the conveniently given reason. Diko confronts Shannon in David’s stead about the questions he had about Peggy’s cancernotcancer. Because that is what men do. They harass the wife for the husband’s comments instead of going to David like a man. David and Shannon barely grunt at each other these days. It is not like David pays attention to anything Shannon says. As soon as I type that Shannon says this is a conversation he should have with David. I hate when I agree with Shannon. Tamra has found the hot camera and inserts herself into the scene, followed by all the other screen time whores. Tamra says in front of everyone, that Peggy tells very different stories when explaining the cancernotcancer. Despite all of that, the party breaks up. Shannon is super polite on her departure but quite upset on the car ride home. Tamra is very unsupportive of Shannon in the past few episodes. Why? Because the script calls for an alliance shift for Tamra.
Next week, WE ARE STILL NOT IN FUCKING ICELAND, AND THIS WAS EPISODE FOURTEEN! WHAT BRAVO EXEC THOUGHT THIS MESS WAS WORTH FIFTEEN EPISODES?