Somehow I never got around to the this episode last week so I thought I’d take a quick look at it today. I’m sure there won’t be anything earth shattering, but it beats cleaning the ghetto shack. In case you didn’t read the Hugh Hefner post, I mentioned in comments that Lydia posted a photo of her mother, when she was a bunny at the Playboy Club. I thought that was interesting. Where exactly does this uber Christian thing come from? I’m not knocking it but it doesn’t seem to have started with her parents.
Speaking of Lydia’s mom Judy, she’s the bartender and has brought confetti and other items one might encounter at a five year old’s birthday party. Forever young, I suppose. Oh wait, Judy is not the bartender she just brought a bunch of feathers and wands.
The drinking word is “balls.” Le sigh. Of course we go right into a lengthy discussion about Doug’s balls. Lydia says she thought she was being funny, but social media seems to think she really believes that they cut his balls off. It was a joke that went on for way too long, that was not funny. She assures us all that his balls are still there. That’s Little Miss Priss, we’ve done nothing but worry about your husband’s balls for weeks now. We can relax.
The poll question is “Whose side are you on, Shannon or Lydia?” 65% of the idiots voting said Shannon. Really? How is this possible? Lydia asks Andy and the other guest if anyone can explain Shannon’s side to her. She doesn’t get it either.
Andy calls Lydia out for being freaked out by the drag queens. He asks her if Christians are against drag. Before he asked her she said, I think in a clip that drag queens are not in the Bible. Actually, that is wrong. Deuteronomy 22 verse five address the situation quite clearly, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” So her going to a drag club dressed as a man is a sin, according to the Bible. Why do I know these things and she does not? She says the reason she said that drag queens were not in the Bible was not to imply that they were excluded from God’s promises, she just meant there was nothing in the Bible to guide her on this today. Except, if she had ever read the Bible she would know that there was. Andy wants to discuss this more at the reunion. Of course he does.
A really high guy calls and tells Lydia that he really likes both Shannon and Lydia and needs them to make up. Lydia hints that a reconciliation may be in the works later in the season.
A caller starts off by saying how Jesus loves everyone even Andy’s gay ass, and transgenders, and drag queens. This is probably true, as I always say Old Testament God was kind of an asshole killing people and making stupid rules about not eating bacon. But when he became a dad, he sent us a whole New Testament, so in my opinion, the New Testament replaces the Old Testament and we don’t have to pay attention to that anymore. Anyway, this caller is speaking for Jesus so surely she is of kind heart and pure spirit, right?
Wrong. She comes for Lydia and says, “What happened to your last magazine, and what is going on with your new one, and did you just come on the show to plug the magazine because you don’t want to do anything. You don’t want to dress up in drag or nuttin like that, so what’s up girl?” Clearly, this caller’s cup of Christian kindness is not very full. Lydia’s cup is starting to need a refill as well. She snaps with with “We have a new magazine, Nobleman magazine, and it is doing very well.” Andy says it very expensive, Lydia says it is like a coffee table book and it comes out four times a year. Andy says they have big celebrities. Matt Damon was recently on.
Another caller comes for Lydia. Wow, she is getting Kenya Moored this episode. This one calls her a hypocrite for talking about Doug’s balls all the time but not wanting to talk about her boob job. Lydia says she is not sensitive about her boob job at all. Tamra asked and she answered. But Shannon was being loud and obnoxious pretending as if she had just found out for the first time in front of all the men.
Lydia still says that Heather Dubrow is not a big enough name to be on one of their covers. She’s a housewife! She’s not an A list celebrity!
Lydia for the win, y’all.