Y’all. The Voice is so good tonight and Banjo and I always bond in when it is on, I hate to stop that for this stupid show about bitches pulling six figures for showing their ass, but as much as this show suck donkey balls in Tijuana, I am here for you. Because the shit shows get the outrage and the comments. Banjo is SO UPSET that The Voice has been paused.
We start with Kelly getting a boob reduction. She’s terrified but not as terrified as me. I had to have my first surgery during the shitfest of 2016 and it was not cosmetic. It caused total chaos on the boards with people trying to hack my site, and numerous dramas. In the meantime friends were dying. It was a hot mess. I say all that to say that a much as I would LOVE a breast reduction, I don’t think I could do it. I have too much anxiety. So watching her go through it with her husband make me want to breathe into a paper bag repeatedly and accept my ginormous natural tits will probably drag the ground until I die. I can’t believe we are watching this surgery. Michael is so sweet to her. She needs to stay with him.
Oh look, Tamra is starting to feel like she is on the wrong side with Shannon. Ya THINK? She meets with Meghan and tells her that Shannon freaks out over everything in life! Welcome to menopause, Tamra, see you next season. Shannon displays full on menopause by telling the drugged up Kelly who just has surgery all of her intimate problems. At least Shannon had maid service during menopause. Trust me. IT IS SO MUCH UGLIER WITHOUT IT!
Kelly says she is not in a happy marriage or the best marriage. Oh honey. Try having no one to take you to the surgery or get you out.
I loved the Armenian cooking lesson. I wish we had more of those and less of Diko with sunglasses on his forehead. Diko doesn’t even know he Armenian dish he is eating which is raw lamb in grape leaves, before it is cooked. He is Lebanese not Armenian.
It’s an episode of Kelly getting her tits done. I don’t care. Meghan and Kelly are good.
I just can’t with this. Vicki now has some sort of rare illness. So she can’t come to the Balls Voyage Party.
Everyone else does. Even Kelly. I’m literally waiting for this show to be over. It’s Kelly, Shannon, Peggy and Meghan at this weird lunch. I am so done with this episode. I think I am going to have to farm this season out to someone.
At lunch, Meghan says that her mom had cancer, I think, and she had the BRACA test and she does not have the gene. Peggy says same for her but she had a double mastectomy. Then Meghan asks if Peggy has cancer. Peggy is pissed. She has given multiple stories on the show so it is already a fake cancer show AGAIN. Peggy’s story changes yet again from abnormal cells to 3mm of cancer. Production has clearly told these women to call her out on the cancer story. Because even she can’t keep her story straight on camera. She literally got her boobs chopped of right before filming. I do not think things are going the way she suspected. We see a montage of Peggy’s cancer stories. I am not doing this again.
Lydia calls to invite the women to her Balls Voyage Party. Vicki is really sick and can’t come. Lydia is pissed because she wasn’t invited to lunch.
I don’t think I can recap the rest of this. Everyone is on to Peggy’s lies.. ABOUT CANCER. I cannot do yet another cancer issue. Peggy clearly went all Angela Joile. Which is fine. Unless you are doing it for attention.
Vicki says she has Influenza-B and can’t go to anything other than the hospital. No one believes her either.
Next week: MORE FAKE CANCER. And Iceland seems far away.