Andy Cohen literally starts part three with a montage of penis conversations, with an occasional boob and vagina. I need a lot of foreplay before I have to recap anal sex conversations. Andy is providing no lube at all. The first question goes to Tinsley, “So, Tinsley…was it the booze that made you OPEN UP about the anal sex?” And we’re off on a race to the bottom. So to speak. Apparently, Topper gave Tinsley a stern talking to after that episode aired. Sonja jumps right in to chastise Tinsley, “You don’t talk about the families on television.” Bethenny shoots back, ” The families? What are you the godfather?” Sonja seems to think that since she married a Morgan she needs to school Tinsley on what not to say in public about prominent families. She then talked about the problems within Tinsley’s marriage to Topper. She was a social butterfly and he’d prefer to stay home. According to Sonja who is somehow and expert on the topic of Tinsley’s marriage. Bethenny again responds because Tinsley needs a moment to pick up her jaw off the floor. Bethenny says, “Yeah, but now she has a mugshot and talks about anal sex on TV!”
A viewer asks why Sonja is pretending to be offended by discussions of anal sex when he she has a history of discussing pirates plundering her booty in previous seasons.
Our friend Ramona the narcissist and sociopath says she doesn’t have sex on her dates. She lets him please her and then sends him home. That’s exactly how her friendships work also. As Bethenny says, “That sounds exactly like you.” Ramona, ever clueless laughs and nods in agreement.
We move on to Ramona bringing up Bryn in relations to Bethenny’s soft core porn from two decades ago. I am amazed at how it too Bethenny a split second while remaining expressionless to come up with,”Yeah, Diane Sawyer came by the playground and she did an interview.” She did not miss a beat.
When Andy asks why she decided to bring up a movie from years before when she did, Ramona starts lying our of her lie hole like a liar. She gives all the bizarre details about her friend Nicole and the Bermuda Triangle and her daughter’s college. Just say you area cunt, Ramona. Just say, “Andy, I am jealous as fuck of Bethenny I was trying to destroy her. But I couldn’t. So I gave up. And plus, I really needed screen time because nothing about my life is interesting.” JUST SAY IT.
Ramona tries to sell that she was bringing up Bryn out of a place of kindness. Bethenny point out that no one in the world believes that. Bethenny lists off a fraction of the crap Ramona has done to her and then asks her what Bethenny has done to deserve done to her to deserve this kind of treatment. Ramona whines and make full-throated victim noises.
The funniest thing so far other than all the crazy faces (thanks to Lady C for capturing those) is that Skinnygirl’s corporate twitter account tweeted to Ramona after disparaging Bethenny’s brand, “It’s alright, we don’t like you either, Ramona.” Perfect.
Bethenny points out that Ramona is incapable of being happy for other people. Ramona goes on about how happy she is. See the quick pivot back to Ramona’s point of view? Carole and Luann are both backing up Bethenny. Dorinda and Sonja are agreeing with Bethenny as well.
Ramona denies drinking while on Xanax in Mexico. Sonja rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the lie.
Andy moves in to Sonja’s Home For Wayward It Girls. Tinsley says she was at the lowest point in her life and at first, Sonja’s jabs seemed fun at first and then they seemed malicious. Sonja keeps spinning all these stories that Tinsley murmured never happened. They are fighting like two squirrels in a burlap sack over things that I thought ended with the big Thank You Party By Bravo. There is nothing new or interesting here. Sonja is lying again about not being the source of the Page Six story.
Everyone agrees the Mexico trip was epic. Bethenny even got up to act out the drunken fun using the coffee table.
All of the viewers want to know why Ramona, who was barely invited to the trip thought she deserved the best room. And spends a lot of time getting the complete breakdown on who Sonja made out with in Mexico. The answer was clear on the episode. Everyone except Ramona. They don’t make out because they are like sisters. I feel like they share a brain, and only one of them can use it at a time. Or maybe one gets to use it the entire season.
When Dorinda slammed the knife into the table, she did it with such force that her hand left the handle and slide across the full length of the blade. When she woke up with blood in her bed the next morning, she didn’t remember what happened and thought she got a random period.
Bethenny is sort of emotional talking about how people don’t want to hear about her success. No, Bethenny that is not it. They are tired of being required to go to every scene that doesn’t even have a thin veil to cloak the fact it is a SkinnyGirl promotion when either don’t show up at all or just do a drop in for their scenes.
They do the “rose and thorn” of the season. Both of Carole’s were political. Then they all have tequila!
It is Finnish Ed. Except it’s not. Next week, same bat time, same bat station, we have Lu’s one on one with Andy in The Hamptons to talk about her divorce.