It looks like all of the Luann stuff happens in part one based on the reunion show summaries, so I hope we just get this out of the way right of the bat. We start with a text box explaining that the reunion was filmed three weeks before Luann decided to divorce Tom. This is the first time the casuals have heard the news. Lots of people are in shock right now.
Wait, they are filming in a synagogue? Please tell me I did not hear that correctly. I’m not the expert on antisemitism but it seems really, really really inappropriate to me. Hopefully some of my Jewish readers will let me know if this is as horrifying as it sounds.
Y’all were giving Lu such a hard time about wearing one of her bridal dresses (I think she wore it at her reception) to the reunion, but they have to buy their own gowns (blind item revealed) and Lu had just laid out a ton of money on several white gowns. I have no problem with her wearing it with that beautiful blue necklace. Andy starts his greeting with Luann, and then goes to Bethenny. Interesting. Sonja says she has found a townhouse she really likes, presumably with potable water, functioning toilets and no windows that can’t close in the winter. We will see if she can unload Grey Gardens. She says Grey Gardens is not on the market. In that case her move is just a pipe dream. Ramona is the last to be greeted. She talks about her Love Connection on Andy’s show. She picked a guy who looks a lot like Mario. She didn’t continue dating him because he lives in Philly. I am tired of typing and we haven’t even begun. Ramona met a guy at the piano bar who was on a blind date. They are dating. Ramona calls out Tom again before the show even begins.
It think this might be Ramona’s last season. She has aged out. Her reel is very negative, but that is how she was all season. Ramona says she had a bad year. When she was in it, she didn’t realize how she was acting and seeing it back is embarrassing.
Ramona has no remorse for destroying Dorinda’s walls. Ramona has no empathy for others. If you missed that link click on it now, she uses Bobby’s cancer and her brother dying to talk about herself. More recently she gave a short interview on Luann’s divorce saying that she called Luanna and told her how bad SHE FELT over Luann’s divorce. She has not ability to empathize or sympathize with anyone. So she gives a lot of hollow apologies while thinking she should not have to keep apologizing. Bethenny says that last night in the hotel they apparently all stayed in, Ramona got on an elevator with two of Bethenny’s assistants that she has known for years and did not acknowledge them at all. Bethenny points this out to show how she treats what she considers, “the help.” Ramona says something about her growing up abused. WTF? She asks why they didn’t say hello to her? Bethenny says because she intimidates them. Bethenny says Ramona has her hair down to here, her tits hanging out, drinking rose behind the couch and screaming about the room temperature before the cameras came on. Bethenny says she is a horror show. Yep, I am doubling down on Ramona being out next season. Ramona is all, ” I am what I am.” Ramona is drunk.
Bethenny loses it a bit with Andy asking what the hell she has to do to stop being asked if she wants to be friends with Jill Zarin again.
It’s time to about Dorinda. I am hoping that she outs her mole, because I know exactly who it is. The thing is the mole is the one that caused Dorinda to go after Sonja. In part because the mole outed Sonja as the one putting out false stories in Page Six, some of which were negative about Dorinda and John. Sidenote, Dorinda’s dress is gorgeous up close. Um, I’m not being egotistical here are all but I wonder if I am the blogger they are talking about because I have used that mole for many stories here for the past two seasons or so. Dorinda is not outing the mole. And I never reveal my sources, so… sigh.
A fan asks Dorinda if she is a hypocrite because she gets so drunk she needs subtitles at many of the events yet she still criticizes Sonja? She says no, because she is not going around telling people she doesn’t drink and she’s been sober for ten months. She drinks, she gets drunk, whatever. Everyone says that they have seen Sonja drink the entire season. Sonja has an unfortunate fat roll in the dress. Sonja belittles the fact that she wore Dorinda’s pajamas that were preserved in a dry cleaning back in the back of her closet. She tries to give an apology but sucks at it.
Luann is up and she says that married life is fantastic, she loves the life that comes with it, she loves having a partner in crime, and she loves Tom. That was and interesting order of things. She says she doesn’t miss being a countess.
Lu looks a bit hurt looking at all footage of people warning her off Tom, and how Missy kept creeping into filming. Andy asks why she had a big formal wedding. Fuck you Andrew, because she wanted to. It was Tom’s first wedding and Luann’s first wedding ceremony. Let the woman live her damn life. Luann says that she sent Sonja a Save The Date for her wedding, but then, Sonja once again put things out in the press about her. Ahem. And so she decided inviting Sonja was a mistake and she only wanted supportive friends there so she did not send her a formal invitation. Why is Bethenny so judgmental about that. She would have done the same thing!
Luann said that her friend Barbara’s comments to Carole when she thought she was off mike were horrible and she was making her own judgment about Luann’s wedding and trying to pass it off as how Lu felt. Dorinda and Carole both stand up for Barbara. What is wrong with these people? I don’t care if Carole and Dorinda are in a lesbian relationship with Barbara. In this situation you keep you mouth closed.
Ramona starts talking about all the stories that where in the press about Tom and another woman when Andy asks why she was investigating her. Clearly, Ramona was behind those stories in the press. Bethenny, the queen of calling Daily Mail to tell them to send a photog to catch her on every beach she ever goes to, attacks Luann saying she was calling the press to tell them where she was. I’ve never seen Daily Mail with candid snaps of Lu, Luann posted the photos of her and her boyfriend on Instagram and large sites picked it up! Bethenny on the other hand SELLS the photos to those sites, so who is the thirsty one Bethenny? Yes. Luann just said they used her Instagram photos. Clearly Bethenny does not follow Lu on Instagram.
Andy asks Ramona what she knew at last year’s reunion that she kept hinting about. Ramona takes two seconds to protest that she doesn’t want to tell. Then she says that Tom met a woman from Philly at The Regency and he went back to her hotel with her and he told her that he and Luann had an open relationship.
Ramona says that nothing happened with them. Well, idiot, that was a lot of something right there.
Andy then asks if anyone has heard things since they were married about Tom. What kind of jackhole does stuff like this? This is a personal attack on someone’s marriage. Whatever comes out here likely contributed to the divorce. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ANDREW COHEN? He has already made snide comments about Kenya’s marriage. You just know he will do this to her all season.
Andy doubles down and says that they have all heard things since she has been married. Does that bother her? YOU BOTHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT! She says of course it bothers her. So he pushes farther, because, jackhole. He asks if she has an open relationship. She says no. But why on earth is that anyone’s business? Luann says she would leave Tom if he cheated on her. Everyone’s faces get very serious as if they already know that he has. Well, everyone but Andrew who is trying to decide what twink to screw in P-town next. (blind item reveal).
And there it is. Luann did not see the Missy and Tom conversation where they took their mikes off until the night before the reunion. Three weeks later she filed for divorce. She says that episode is why she stayed at the hotel the night before the reunion instead of staying with Tom. Andy goes in for more blood. Does that hurt your feelings when you watch that? Luann says of course it does. She puts up a tough exterior, but you ANDY FUCKING COHEN spent the next three weeks asking people on WWHL what they though about the rumors around Luann’s marriage. And again here with people who have no idea. And most of them had the good sense to remain silent. Even Bethenny, because she knew what you were doing, trying to break the news on your show. SO RATCHET. Then Sonja started calling up Page Six. You guys are like a snarly pack of wolves charging at the first hint of blood.
Luann gets emotional talking about he son Noel. He was not pleased with how his mother was treated on the show, and by Tom on the show. She says that has been difficult. Andy keeps going. They all keep chiming in. This is sad and not really helping. They all made their point twenty minutes ago.
Yet Ramona chimes and says that he is around Missy all the time. Luann points out that IS BECAUSE RAMONA INVITED MISSY TO EVERY EVENT THAT SHE HOSTED THIS SEASON. Because, SOCIOPATH,
We are going to pick up here next week and hopefully move on. When Bethenny is the most compassionate woman in the room, you know we have a problem.
Next week, Bethenny comes for Ramona. Sonja insults Tinsley and Andy jizzes himself in glee.