This week on RHONY we pick up where we left off in Stratton Vermont, another beautiful place that the bitches totally don’t appreciate and instead focus on bitching at each other. Dorinda is opting not to ski since she’s not a very good skier.
Bethenny apologizes to Tinsley for being so hard on her about the Sonja situation. Wow, maturity on a housewives show. Bethenny grabs her muffin (take that as you will) and hits the slopes leaving the other girls at breakfast. This was a smart move because Sonja is a cunt to Luann again and refuses to apologize for all the crap that comes out of her mouth. She says Luann should just take her for who she is, someone who says inappropriate things. Luann is not having it.
Holy Crap. Dorinda gave up her nice room for the two morons. Why Dorinda? WHY? On the plus side, Dorinda has the entire lodge to herself for the day. Eventually, she heads over to the lodge to hang out with Carol and watch the skiers come down the slope. Carole feels like Tinsley was ganged up on at dinner. So do I. We then she footage of the slopes where Ramona is literally screaming at Tinsley for being on the same mountain she is. It looks like they have their own slope all to themselves and yet, that is still too much for Ramona. Bethenny is an EXCELLENT snowboarder on her little SkinnyGirl board. Luann is a beautiful skier. Tinsley seems to know what she is doing and Ramonja both seem hesitant and nervous.
It’s the perfect time for Carole to tell Dorinda that Jason was arrested for “stalking.” Here is the latest on that ongoing saga of ridiculousness. It seems that Bethenny just can’t let anything slide even when it is in the best interest of her child.
Sadly, Ramona comes in with her ski instructor to break up the conversation between Ramona and Dorinda. Dorinda is making polite conversation with the instructor so Ramona naturally interrupts and orders him to fetch her a beer. So nasty, So rude.
Once the full crew is assembled, Bethenny reads the Page Six story and becomes very quiet. Tinsley is on antidepressants and drinking. Carole tries to point that is not a great idea.
Once again Bethenny wants to leave someone out of her Mexico Trip. This season it is Ramona who is not invited. But since Luann can’t make the entire trip and will be arriving late, Bethenny suggests Ramona come down with Lu.
Tinsley is drunk and can’t stop talking about shopping.
At dinner, Bethenny suggests Truth or Dare. How old were you the last time you played Truth or Dare? I think I was probably a teenager. What is with these women. To make it worse, Carole Radziwill just randomly asks the table how old they were when they first had anal sex? This becomes a topic. AT. THE. DINNER. TABLE! How old were you when you were first taught table manners? My mother began around age three and the lessons continued for years with frequent reminders should I forget what is acceptable dinner talk or I accidentally scraped my teeth with my fork. Who raised these women? Next Sonja was told to sexually assault the waiter. So she did. He tried to be as gentle as possible with his resistance. Sonja had the nerve to ask if he liked it. How old were you when you had your first sexual harassment training? I believe I was in my early 20s. What is wrong with these women? Next we find out that John the dry cleaner has a big peen. I knew there had to be more to it than the free dry cleaning. Yet, seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE WOMEN?
Finally a good question. Carole is asked how George Clooney is in bed on a scale from 1 -10. She says a 9. Just a 9? He was young! Ramona has had sex with three men since Mario. That does not include any blowjob she has given which she will not add to the total. We move into a discussion about oral sex that I will never erase from my mind. Luann says she is so happy to be in a relationship. Of course this pisses them all off because, jealous. Dorinda says she needs to stop making them feel bad. Luann says, “I JUST GOT MARRIED. LET ME EXPRESS MY HAPPINESS!” Preach Luann. These people feel bad because they are jealous. Normal friends would laugh and be happy for you. Not these bitches. Dorinda is supposed to be her FRIEND. WTF? Bethenny is the voice of reason here. She basically says we all dragged her during her engagement and now she is married. Can’t she have a little bit of happiness now without the pack of hyenas continuing to feed?
Dorinda is pissed that Bethenny has reversed course. As if Bethenny can’t decide to lay off Luann once she starts mocking her. It’s Dorinda who has changed course for the worse. Dorinda is drunk off her ass and being a cunt. Luann just smiles. This pisses off Dorinda more. Carole makes a trite toast to friendship and everyone joins in the toast in an effort at peaceful resolution. But Sonja has to knock Carole’s toast for some mean-spirited bullshit. Because at her core, Sonja doesn’t want any of these women to be happy, because she is not happy.
Next week: Carole introduces Tinsley to her new boyfriend Scott Kluth. And Ramona goes in on Bethenny AGAIN as she tries to invite her to Mexico.