Rarely does a Bravo show come to an end when I am not happy that it’s over; however, this season of Southern Charm is an exception. Because of Kathryn’s delayed start to filming, there were a lot of filler scenes up front until things got back to normal with Kathryn’s arrival. At least this finale is supersized.
We pick back up with most of the gang still in Key West. Kathryn has brought a book to read at the beach. The 48 Laws of Power (1998) is the first book by American author Robert Greene. The book is a bestseller, selling over 1.2 million copies in the United States, and is popular with prison inmates and celebrities. She’s up to Law 42: Strike The Shepherd And The Sheep Will Scatter.
While the guys and Chelsea take advantage of the water activities, the ladies stay on the beach getting massages and gossiping. Kathryn, Elizabeth and Danni talk about Landon’s sudden about-face regarding Kathryn. Kathryn say she doesn’t know if Landon is genuine but she just needed to have some resolution to the Landon situation,
Outside of the restaurant they all meet up at later that evening, Kathryn tells Thomas that she wanted to run the idea of mediation by him. She thinks they are in a good enough place to work things out among themselves and stop paying all of their money to lawyers. Thomas is more than willing. They did try, but recently it all fell apart.
Before they even get in the door of the restaurant, Danni says she is not feeling well, and then collapses. Most of the guys decided to take scooters to the restaurant and were not there yet. Elizabeth calls JD who was really great at calming her down after she got a bit frightened seeing Danni leave in an ambulance. It turns out it was too much sun and not enough water for Danni.
So the dinner goes on. Thomas is pissy with Thomas. Shep gives Cameran a T-shirt. Then Craig gives her the onsie he made for her not quite conceived yet baby. Cameran cries and then wonders why she is so emotional. That doesn’t stop her from pulling Craig aside the next morning to tell him that he is the asshole in his relationship with Naomie. I get this is story line, but most people watching don’t know that and it makes Cameran look like a bitch. Again. Also, Shep is drinking his breakfast. This is probably not wise but it it totally what I do for breakfast at the beach many mornings. Especially in St. Lucia where they make you a lovely banana daquiri for breakfast. Bananas are a breakfast food.
Thomas drops by to chat with JD. JD lets us know that Shep and Craig missed their connecting flight home because they were drinking. Thomas says that Landon had told him prior to the trip that she didn’t even want to look at or speak to Kathryn. Then Landon suddenly got on #TeamKathryn Thomas starts quoting Jane Austen, ” My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” I have no idea how he could pull off this tirade without cracking up. He does seem high. And serious.
Kathryn goes to chat with Naomie about Craig. She tells her that Craig didn’t want to come home from Key West. Because NO ONE WANTS TO COME HOME FROM KEY WEST. Kathryn is just as bad as Cameran for getting into another couple’s relationship. Kathryn is Craig’s friend first and this entire conversation is inappropriate. Naomie says that she has been being mean to him because she resents having to keep his secret about the Bar exam. Kathryn honestly thinks she is someone who needs to give Naomie a private relationship therapy session.
Later, Naomie and Craig have a heart to heart about how Naomie treats Craig. Naomie sort of owns up to her part and then says Craig is still an asshole. Craig says that he doubts her love for him. They are not happy anymore. He needs a positive influence in his life.
Kathryn stops by to talk to Thomas. He has had photos made of the kids going to see Santa that he wants to give her. I really hope he actually invited her to go with them, but I doubt that he did. He goes on a long speech in confessional about how hot Kathryn is. Dear God, the kids are out in the back house and Kathryn is not allowed to see them. Is that because of the courts? Why wouldn’t Thomas be able to supervise a visit? And either way, it makes her showing up to the christening reception at Thomas’ house even crazier. This conversation is awkward and sad. Then Thomas starts spouting Scarlett O’Hara quotes and they hug it out. And keep hugging it out. Longer than an Eden Sasson hug they hug it out. Thomas says that he thinks about her a lot, she says she does too. She calls him “baby.” Kathryn says she kind of wants to kiss him, and we fade to black.
The big finale party is supposedly for the closing of Sermet’s. I don’t think it really is a closing as much as a makeover and a renaming of the place to The Gentry Bar. At the party Naomie tells someone who tells everyone else that Thomas and Kathryn kissed. The old bitty leaves when Kathryn arrives.
Apparently, despite Shep being such and asshole to Craig all season, Craig stayed behind at the airport with Shep because Shep was too drunk to fly. He also choked on a chicken wing, thus the ridiculous title of this episode. “Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter” would have been one of a number of better titles.
Austen puts the moves on other women at the party. Thus wrapping up the Austen and Chelsea story line. They did make out a lot in Key West. Austen says that he had no idea that would upset her. Austen needs to understand that whenever he escorts a lady to a party no matter what their relationship, it is in appropriate to leave her sitting alone and go off to fondle other women. While I thought for sure this was a breakup scene, somehow it turns into making their relationship official. Well, TV official at least.
Shep continues to be an asshole to Craig. Craig threatens to deck him. Then he punches him in the leg. Shep keeps on being a douchebag. Landon has decided to crawl up Shep’s butthole for this entire event and joins in on the nasty comments toward Craig. Why is this season about to end with more Craig abuse? Shep storms out of the party drunk.
Kathryn and Thomas talk about how nice it is that they are not the ones with the crazy drama story line for a change. Drunk Thomas is all over Kathryn. I lost a few seconds of the end, where Kathryn professes her love for Thomas.
And so it ends.