We start the show with Kathryn showing up to film at JD and Elizabeth’s and immediately start bashing Jennifer. Kathryn loves to tell the story of Jennifer “having an affair with Thomas” while she was pregnant. That is simply not true and Kathryn knows it. Here is the truth. Prior to meeting Kathryn or coming on the show Jennifer went on a couple of dates with Thomas. Thomas told her that he had gotten a girl pregnant and they were going to co-parent but were not in a relationship. When she found that out she moved date other men without all the baggage. She and Thomas remained friendly when they ran across each other. Jennifer was approached to be on the show unrelated to Thomas and still having never met Kathryn. She came on the show and the first person they had her film with was Kathryn. They hit it off. Then later when Jennifer realized that Kathryn was the girl who was pregnant by Thomas she told Kathryn they dated a few times. Kathryn didn’t care. Now suddenly Jennifer is a homewrecker. Nope! Kathryn is just full of shit.
Now Kathryn is pretending to be pissed at Jennifer for inviting Thomas to the Sip and See and not her. Well, Kathryn you are fresh out of rehab and your first meeting last week didn’t go well at all because you were very aggressive toward her for no damn reason.
Kathryn says that Thomas has texted her for the first time in nine months. That just means they hadn’t been speaking directly, the nannies have been the custodial transport directors. Saint’s birthday is coming up. This was the first all cast scene where Bravo put their foot down and made everyone show up. This was around the same time the old yankee bat had her muumuu party so I am afraid we will have to witness that soon unless it was mercilessly cut out. By the way, the old yankee gadfly has been trying to cause trouble about town and may find herself in some legal hot water if she doesn’t stay up on her porch getting soused. More on that as the story develops.
Craig and Naomie
While I hate the fakish Craig and Naomie fighting storyline, I love the fakish domesticated Craig making greeting cards on the printer and having conversations with his cat. They are not good at arguing. I am on Naomie’s side and she doesn’t seem to get that. Oh, they are going to a counselor. Did I mention I hate this storyline?
There was a detente with the muumuued professional gold digger and her ingenue. The dolphin is concerned about dating a felon. The crone tells her to go for the money. They drank bourbon slushies, as refined women of a certain age do. Seriously? Bourbon slushies?
Shep and Whitney
Shep and Whitney are planning a quail hunting trip down in Georgia. This reminds me I will be seeing the Savannah idiots before their designated time slots. There is much discussion and concern over whether the boots they are buying are snakeproof boots. They are not unless you got vipercloth.
Landon is going on the hunting trip. Perhaps she will shoot herself in the foot. This trip is just an excuse to crash the Southern Charm filming. Cameran is there to push Shep and Chelsea together. Right from the beginning though, Chelsea and Austen have their own cabin. Cameran had a bad experience at target practice long ago when the scope of the rifle caught her in the face and she had to get stitches. She still has a scar. That marked the end of her hunting career. Thomas is not allowed to be around guns so he is coming down at night after the hunting part is over.
Chelsea knows how to shoot a gun. Landon almost shot the hunting dogs. So did Craig. First timer Austen had some beginners luck and is in love with the whole concept now. He wants to stop for a gun on the way home. Chelsea got one as well. I don’t see how they got any as loud as they were.
Cameran and Jennifer try to figure out which end of a fishing pole goes in the water.
In addition to their quail, they have grassfed steak tartare, low country shrimp and deviled eggs with bacon. Shep falls off the wagon and starts chugging bourbon when Chelsea and Austen stay secluded in their rooms during the appetizers. #BullshitStoryline I guess five days of sobriety fixes a “wandering liver enzyme.” Later at dinner, Cameran interrogates Austen and Chelsea about their sleeping arrangements since they didn’t make the cut to stay in the adult lodge. The lodge is really nice. Thomas shows up for dinner. There is a whole lot of overacting going on and the quail is a huge hit. Whitney asks Thomas about custody and he says he has reached out to her but has not heard back.
Everyone gets shitfaced and crude except Chelsea who grabs Austen to go back to their cabin. The next day, they are the last to leave along with Naomie and the dolphin. And I suppose Craig is still around somewhere. We get a bedroom scene with Austen and Chelsea waking up. Chelsea wakes up dressed and in full makeup. They talk about their relationship. Chelsea is not really looking for a relationship. Austen is looking for a relationship. You know, I wish I could watch this show and believe the illusion. I have way too much information for that.
Kathryn and Thomas
These two start back to Kathryn having the kids every other weekend from Friday night until Sunday night. I do not recall if they were supervised at this time or not.