Ashley and Anthony (Bahamas)
We last left these two in bed about to consummate their marriage. Ashley got up early and got her hair and makeup together. Anthony really wanted to sleep in but that was hard with the camera man in their honeymoon suite.
Ashley is wanting to have babies right away. She’s doing that 30 thing. Sometimes I think we would all do better in life if we didn’t know our age. Anthony and Ashley are both very comfortable with each other. At dinner Anthony shares that he was in love once and that meddling friends and her over sharing outside the relationship caused problems. Ut. Oh. Ashley says she was in a five-year relationship with someone who was six years older and who was not ready to have kids. She had to move on.
Despite all the rain, these two had the best honeymoon. I don’t think that Anthony understands Ashley’s need to have kids soon. I agree she does not have another five years to wait.
Cody and Danielle (St. Thomas)
Cody seems to know that Danielle wants him to man up a bit. This couple is the only one that has not had sex yet. Danielle is perfectly capable of taking the lead, but would prefer more traditional gender roles. Dr. Pepper just said that Danielle needs to lower her expectations when it comes to manliness. She thinks Danielle has unrealistic expectations in that regard. Dr. Pepper is an idiot and this pairing is stupid. Just because they are in similar work fields does not make them a match. Every time Danielle has to fish Cody out of the ocean and take over the jetski driving, Danielle is less attracted to him. They could have totally paired her with someone who less in touch with his feminine side. Why should Danielle “lower her expectations? Anthony would have been a good match for Danielle.
Later, these two go ziplining. Danielle is all badass and Cody says he will probably scream like a little girl and he is really afraid of heights. Let’s just divorce these two now. Perhaps I am projecting onto Danielle, but safety is a huge issue with me and relationships. I generally bolt when I no longer feel safe in a relationship, or I emasculate the guy so that he bolts. Have I mentioned I really suck at relationships? My relationship with my dog sometimes tests my relationship skills. But if Danielle doesn’t feel like she is safe with Cody rather than constantly having to be the one to make him feel safe, in my opinion, this will never work. Sidenote: my remote just hit the side of my computer causing me to go to a TV channel I have never seen where a whackadoodle evangelist is saying that a huge inheritance is coming into my life. YAY! It’s a sign. Oh wait. As I am updating the recap he says that I am doing something to block my inheritance. #Shocking
Of course Danielle ziplines first with no issues. Cody has a nervous breakdown before he goes. He says his wife is inspiring him to try new things and conquer his fears. Danielle is questioning the match. It’s not her job to make him a man.
Later we find out that Cody still lives with his parents. Cody asks how Danielle feels about the relationship. Danielle is basically wanting to see how the sex is. Cody wants to have “a talk.” Oh Lord. Cody says he feels like they are not on the same wavelength. He tells us in confessional he has tendency to say and do the things he feels are going to make the other person happy. Oh Jesus. He says he thinks he has forced the situation a bit and he wants to pull back. Danielle outright lies (based on editing) and says she thinks it is good where they are at.
Shelia and Nate (St Croix)
These two had sex earlier in the honeymoon. On day three they go four wheeling. All of these activities seem more tailored to Nate than Shelia. Nate is having the time of his life. Shelia seem to be politely enduring it. We hear her in confessional say that she could see herself with Nate forever, but who knows when she said that.
Later they play ping pong and when Shelia turns out to be really good at it, Nate becomes extremely aggressive and show that he is not graceful in defeat. This really turns Shelia off and shuts her down. When she tells him it is no fun to play with a sore loser, he says that he will never be okay in situations where he is not succeeding. That’s a red flag. Everyone loses at some point. Also when playing a game with his wife, he should understand that her success is just as important and should be celebrated. During the game he blamed the wind and made it seem like her skill was actually luck. She sums up what I just said by saying that he is coming up with some bullshit to cover up his deficiency of character. While I agree with that and think she is free to say that if she wants to, if she wants to stay in this relationship she needs to come at it in a way that he can receive it. Because that pissed him off. Despite Nate feeling disrespected and being highly pissed, he tries to hold her hand as they walk to the restaurant. She will not allow it. Again this if fine if you are about to kick his ass to the curb. But if you are not, you he just reached out and you cut him off at the knees.
Off camera, Nate tells Sheila he doesn’t want to be married anymore. She says he apologized afterward, but those words were very damaging to her. She doesn’t know how to fix this. She called Pastor Calvin. Shelia cries through a few different wardrobe changes saying that he could have said anything to her other than he didn’t want to be married to her anymore and she would have forgiven him. I get it. But I don’t think she sees her part in this. Pastor Calvin says part of marriage is learning how to deal with it when their partner says hurtful things. He says that Nate is learning how to be a husband and he’s making some big mistakes.
These two go horseback riding the next day and and Shelia is still very resentful. Nate’s horse won’t lead properly and Sheila’s horse refuses to budge. How did production make that happen?
At their last dinner, Nate has an honest conversation with Sheila and tells her that he apologizes for what he said. This seems like it was filmed BEFORE the phone call to Pastor Calvin. But who knows? He says that he felt she disrespected him as the husband and he reacted badly. Sheila is not having it. Did I mention this began over a game of ping pong? And yes, Nate was an ass. But Sheila’s reaction was not any better. As I typed that, Shelia is crying and saying that she realizes that she has not been easy on this honeymoon. But she doesn’t feel heard, and Nate was just focused on having fun and being in an exotic location. She says she can’t focus on fun because guys love her when she was easy to love but no one loves her when she is not easy to love. Oh, sister friend, I feel you. I’ve felt that way many times. But you have to see your role in it. It’s hard to see that when you are pissed off and angry. Maybe if nothing else watching yourself back will show you the times that Nate tried to reach out and you would not let him.
My heart is breaking for Sheila. She is crying. Nate is trying to figure out what she needs. She is sobbing and saying she just needs him to see her. She says he doesn’t see her. She storms away from the table and says she doesn’t want to do anything with him anymore. She is picking up her toys and going home. Been there, done that. She will regret this move.
I know I tend to make this show about myself, but I see myself in Danielle and Sheila, and to a lesser extent Ashley when I was very young. This just makes me sad. Things with Nate and Sheila do get better it seems. Danielle and Cody not so much.
Love at First Sight Second Chances
I am also very involved in this shit show. I just can’t recap it. Both of these series are very long, well over an hour and I can’t recap them when they air. But this is a shit show. Both David and Vanessa are terrible at dating. And the show is heavily produced to make it like a Bachelor, Bachelorette shit show. The men over all trying to out man each other and the women are being bitches. Both “pickers” are making crappy decisions. Feel free to talk about that here as well. There are just a handful of us watching this so we can sort of make our own rules while everyone ignores us. 🙂 And thanks for watching with me.