I was pulling some tags from last week’s episode in preparation for this one and I noticed that y’all really turned up for this show last week in comments! Now I feel like I should try to do a good job even though it’s been a long day and Southern Charm Savannah premieres right after this.
This Shep storyline about his liver is all kinds of ridiculous. I am sure his liver is in miserable shape. But the remains on social media at a new bar every day and has a new show coming up about his drinking and fucking. The tacky morning after scene with that unfortunate girl was beyond the pale. I used to like Shep but he sure does make it hard to like him these days,
Even Whitney is more likeable than Shep lately. Apparently, his mother wants to have a dinner party to introduce Thomas and Landon. Because apparently they haven’t really met until she sits them next to each other at dinner.
Craig and Naomie
I didn’t really believe this was a real relationship when it started, but have become convinced that it is. For that reason, I wish they would not let their relationship issues be a primary storyline this year. Once again Cameran is lecturing other people on how to be a good partner. She is so intrusive on everyone’s love life. Why is that?
Craig is enjoying his embroidery machine a bit too much and embroidering the entire house. Craig bought an investment property today and he doesn’t even want to tell Naomie about it because he feels like she is constantly finding fault with everything he does. Craig is very sensitive.
Austen and Chelsea
I guess these two are going be a thing. I just can’t get excited about either of these two. Austen is the poor man’s Shep. His entire life revolves around beer and sex. Austen takes Chelsea out to Holy City for a flight of beers and proceeds to tell her that he has cleared the way for them with Shep. He tells us that there are no Bro Code violations with his relationship with Chelsea. Chelsea then expresses how much she loves that two guys are fighting over her to Austen. While it is always wonderful when two or more guys are competition for your affections, it is never okay to admit that.
Later, Austen’s parents come to town from Kiawah Island to have dinner.
Shep and Cameran
Meanwhile over on Queen Street, Cameran and Shep and the Hoodoo doll are having lunch at Poogan’s Porch. Just typing that make me insanely jealous. It has been three years since I’ve been to Charleston and I am so ready to return. Cameran was wise to bring Mama Estelle to Poogan’s Porch though because it is a haunted site. I would dine with any number of ghosts for a bowl of their she crab soup.
Shep lets Cameran know that he is trying to improve his liver health. He is even going to meet up with Kathryn for some yoga. Holy crap. They both order she crab soup. I am dying here. Literally, I may die of envy.
Cameran tells Shep she was going to do a love spell him but decided not to do it. She is however really pushing Shep to try to fall in love with Chelsea. Because that is how love works. Your pushy friend picks someone out and the tells you to fall in love. She then gives him the Hoodoo doll with the love spell and tells Shep when he means the one, he is to leave the doll on the porch. It’s not a cool doll like Mama Estelle, it’s a bald white guy doll with a big penis.
Later, Shep goes to yoga with Kathryn because at this time most of the cast is still refusing to film with her. Kathryn says that started yoga in rehab. Shep says that he is trying to save his liver with a bout of sobriety. They talk about how Charleston is a big drinking town.
The Wizened Gorgon’s Dinner Party
Whitney points out that the placement (which he insists on saying in French, well oddly accented French) cards are tacky. Literally folded over pieces of paper with handwritten names. His mother points out that is because it is a casual dinner. One does not use place cards at a casual dinner. Do I need to write a party etiquette book?
When Cameran finds out that the dinner party is meant to push Thomas and Landon together, Cameran points out that it is a very bad idea and people should stay out of the matchmaking game. Well, all the people except for her. At dinner, Whitney tells Landon that he heard her boyfriend is dumb. Well, that goes without saying. Except in this case, he is a Boyfriend by Bravo so he’s just in it for the paycheck. Whitney asks Thomas if he married Landon would he make her sign a prenup. He says know. The crone with numerous divorces insists everyone needs a prenup.
Jennifer Snowden’s Sip And See
Chelsea explains that a Sip and See is where you get drunk and hold the baby. That’s about right, actually. Naomie left Craig and came without him because he was running late again.
Is this Jennifer’s house or her parents or what? It’s out on the marsh and I love it and want to live there.
Kensie comes to the Sip and See and she’s adorable. Thomas and Jennifer talk about her horrible lunch with Kathryn. Jennifer explains to Thomas that Kathryn is furious with her over the reunion where she was crying and accepted a handkerchief from Thomas. Oh I guess the pretty blonde lady that Craig and Naomie were airing their dirty laundry in front of was Jennifer’s mom. On the way out, Naomie stops to tell JD and Elizabeth that Craig is mean to her and calls her names.
Next Week: Shep and Craig go hunting. The old bat continues to push Landon and Thomas together. Craig and Naomie fight more.