If you’ve been reading Tamara Tattles for a while, you’ve probably noticed that my opinions on the housewives shows and the housewives themselves change from season to season. This season of RHOBH has been a lot more fun to recap than RHOA. As this season comes to a close, I’m going to miss it a little bit. And not just because you guys have been so great at commenting all season. RHOA on the other hand seems like the series that will never end.
We get right to the important matters according to Andy Cohen. First, Rinna and Erika both worn the same Louboutins to the reunion and they both decided to just wear them. I think that’s great. Andy asks Erika if she is wearing underwear she said she was. He asks if anyone is Sharon Stoning it, Rinna says she is, in honor of the great #pantygate issue that will never die. I hope she flashes PK.
Erika says if she wins the mirror ball she is bringing it hope to the WWHL clubhouse. Andy loves that plan and you know Erika would not have that thing in her house. Smart move, Erika.
We begin with Dorit’s obsession to be liked by Erika. I have never understood the whole need to be liked thing. It just seems so ridiculous to me. Andy is going HARD on Dorit right from the beginning via viewer questions. Dorit immediately starts with her usual defense, “I was just kidding.”
OOOOH Sidenote! I was invited to a preview of Unforgettable tomorrow night but something came up and I can’t go. Kenya Moore is going to be there. Now Rinna and Eileen are doing commercials for it. Is this movie from NBCu? Interesting.
Andy asks Erika about her comment about saying important stuff and Dorit saying boring stuff. LVP chimes in to throw DORIT, her little foot soldier under the bus. Right out of the gate it is obvious that LVP does not want Dorit back and regrets choosing her to be on this season. Andy is asking about Erika’s breakdown in Hong Kong but I am having a hard time paying attention because I don’t think Erika is wearing a bra, and she needs to be. I thought people bought fake boobs so they would not need a bra. Erika texted her son right before they went to dinner prior to the reunion and he was at a funeral for a fallen officer.
Andy keeps trying to make the Erika’s Hong Kong breakdown between Eileen and Erika and it never was. She says she knew the next day when Erika offered Eileen the use of her glam squad before dinner that it was a peace offering and that they would talk it out. Erika explains that she is a sensitive person so she keeps a wall up and is slower to open up. She also opens up to some people quicker than others. LVP is not someone she opened up to and she knows it so she has a weird facial expression as if she is wondering why she would not be quick to open up to her. Erika says that her conversations with her mother validated her childhood feelings.
On to LVP and her relationships with the other women. Eileen points out that when LVP says things like she saw Vinnie in the corner with his head up someone’s dress, she understands the true intentions of the “British humor.” She lets LVP know that seeing her confessionals this year about her confirmed her belief that LVP had not put the past season behind her. She says LVP is a little nasty. The talk for a half second about their reconnection in Hong Kong.
On to how LVP treats Rinna. Rinna says LVP loves it when she is in the hotseat. LVP agrees that she does like it. LVP says Andy likes it more. Kyle and Eileen all agree LVP likes it when others are in a bad spot with the ladies. LVP says there is something about Rinna that she likes. Just like Kyle she has a good sense of humor and will banter back and forth with you without taking things seriously. She says there are also things she doesn’t like and she wants to strangle her. LVP seems to think that Rinna asking Dorit about her coke den has something to do with their friendship. She said Rinna gave a low blow to her friend. Erika and Rinna say at the same time, “You give a LOT of low blows.”
Rinna keeps mentioning that she and LVP shared a significant moment where she thought they were close again. I was confused. But remember when they flew the private plane to go get the ponies? The guy flying the plane died between then and now while flying his helicopter and his wife was also killed and they were friends of Lisa and Ken and Rinna had gotten to know him as well. Wow, so sad. LVP cries and then she basically says that after that Rinna pissed her off again. Well, LVP sometimes people piss you off, and you get over it. You piss a lot of people off to.
Ugh, they are going to bring out PK.
But first Andy grills Dorit a bit more. He asks her to why Boy George lives with them. It’s all lies. She says she has a big house and he lies between London and LA. I believe the truth to be that is likely Boy George’s house and he let them pretend to live in it while they filmed the show, or perhaps even gave them a longterm rental on it on the condition that he can stay there when he is in town. Dorit does of terrible job of explaining why her kids are raised by nannies. She and PK work out of town a lot she says. She has a lot of functions at night, she says. She doesn’t seem to understand that is not a particularly good look especially when both kids seems to have special needs, that could benefit from a mother who is the primary care giver. Kyle tries to make excuses for her. Dorit claims to have three full-time maids. Dorit is fluent in Hebrew, Spanish, Italian and English to hear her tell it. Andy plays a clip of Dorit at he swimwear line fashion show in 2013. She has an American accent then. ROFLMAO. Rinna claims not to remember her confessional about Dorit’s fake accent. I believe her, because I am sure that would be easy for her to own. I must have caught the Bravo amnesia too because I don’t remember Dorit’s confessional mocking Erika’s speech by holding her nose while speaking.
Dorit says she was most nervous about the segment with PK because they are very protective of each other. She doesn’t want five women to attack him. Well, too late to worry about that! She says it is also a chance for him to defend himself. Yeah, no one cares what he says. Andy asks Erika what she thinks about him coming out and she says, “What can I do about it? Its not my show.”
Andy asks if any of the women will wear the dresses they are wearing tonight again. Rinna is the only one who says she will. I thought for sure Eileen would and she is wearing a black dress, why wouldn’t she? These people are idiots. Kyle says she has all of her reunion dresses in her closet as well as any dress where something bad happened like the dinner party from hell dress. Erika still hasn’t hung her Chagall. It’s on the dining room floor leaning against the wall. We pretend that Dorit has a rose gold Bentley. Andy asked the glam squad what air class they fly when Erika takes them overseas. They were all in business. Kyle says they all flew in a better class than they had.
Next we see Dorit back stage telling PK that no one wants to fight, and encouraging him to come on stage. I have been planning my photos according to Andy who kept teasing his appearance and now it’s really only going to be on next week’s episode.
PK sounds like he regrets being such a busybody. They replay pantygate. I hope LVP gets as much crap for that as PK. She was as bad if not worse than PK was. Erika was very uncomfortable with the long, long, pantygate montage. Erika says the entire storyline was embarrassing for her. PK denies staring at her. He says he only caught a glimpse and never looked again. LVP chimes in to say that because Erika wears a necklace with the word ‘cunt’ on it, that it would not be a big deal to her. WOW. Erika points out that is not the same as someone looking up your skirt and claiming they liked the view. PK denies saying that she did it on purpose. PK says he can’t be accused of saying that. Erika points out that is exactly what Dorit accused her of. PK says she can’t call Dorit a nasty person. She says she’s not she is calling PK a nasty person.
Next week: Rinna tells Dorit to shut up and asks again if people were doing coke at her party. Kim Richards has been reading blogs about the show to glean that addicts are not supposed to take each others inventory. She shares this information with Eden. This is something she should have considered during filming. When PK tells Erika she is not nice, she responds with , “Get the fuck outta her!” Rinna whips out her bag of pills again. Kim calls Rinna a liar.