I looked at a few housewives blogs this week, and I almost purple penned Phaedra’s but then I got busy with other things. I did want to mention the hypocritical nature of her feelings about the restoration service though. She was ever so disappointed that the ladies would not come clean and discuss their feelings. I don’t recall her opening up to Kandi about being behind all of the slander coming out of Porsha’s mouth.
First we learn that Kenya and Phaedra cannot play tennis. We also hear Phaedra’s explanation of why she is not talking to anyone but Porsha about her divorce. You know the divorce she keeps pretending has happened but in actuality HAS NOT. I know she is going to whip out some documents at the reunion, but don’t believe her, folks. Just more Phalsehoods by Phaedra. Back on the court, Phaedra mocks Kenya’s diving return by saying, “This is not the French Open.” Kenya shoots back with, ” Well we do know at least two people who like a French kiss down below.” Ew, Kenya!
It’s Peter’s birthday. I swear he gets a birthday episode every season. Cynthia surprises Peter with room service for breakfast. They have a breakup thought. Cynthia says that she doesn’t feel like she was a very good wife to Peter. She just doesn’t think she is wife material. She says she will never get married again. It was sort of a sad little meal between two people divorcing. Cordial, but sad.
The plan for Peter’s birthday is to roast him. It seems like a farewell montage letting us know we won’t be seeing Peter on RHOA anymore. When Bob shows up to the roast, Bob says he is not sure if Sheree will even show up because she’s mad at him. Bob says he is just trying to be a better Bob. Sheree does in fact show up.
Kandi starts the roast and I don’t think I have a photo of her in the skin tight jumpsuit. And that’s a good thing. Kandi starts off with a joke Claudia Jordan once got in a lot of trouble for. She says when she found out they were going to roast Peter at night, she was worried she would not be able to seem him. Let’s see if she gets hell for that like Claudia does. Colorism is a big issue these days, Kandi. Todd goes off on Peter’s finances. Kenya’s joke was that Peter’s social security number is one. I cannot figure out what the heck Cynthia is trying to do. But it was sad. The whole roast was sad really.
Everyone goes on a sunset cruise. Sheree and Bob go inside the catamaran to film yet another scene about their marital problems. I have a feeling Bob asked for this in order to try to fix his image. Let’s see how that goes.
As soon as he opens his mouth I realize I was wrong hoping this was damage control. He is playing stupid as if he doesn’t know why Sheree got upset and left the jewelry store. Apparently, when the two kids were five and two, Bob took off to California to go to Stanford and didn’t call or contact them once in the six months he was out there. Sheree feels like Bob is not remorseful. Bob is being all dramatic. Bob is lying about his feeling for him. Sheree is lying about why she built Chateau Sheree. Their storyline is so patently fake, that throwing in a real history of abuse is confusing. It’s almost like they needed an end to the farce, so they went with the abuse stuff and Bob took it way to far and Sheree’s feelings were hurt again. Please let Bob be gone next season.
Kenya is throwing a divorce party for Cynthia and Phaedra in the executive suite of the Four Seasons. Instead of pin the tail on the donkey, it’s kiss the dick on the man. I’m glad I have so much exclusive tea on Season 10 posted tonight, because this episode is pretty slow so far.
Cynthia is not down with the divorce party. It makes her sad and she cries. Cynthia needs a lesson sex toy lesson from Kandi. She has no idea what have the game pieces are. Phaedra arrives sick. She’s not down for it either. Apparently, they were required to film in the executive suite, but everyone is tired and just want to go to bed. Phaedra leaves because they are “making a mockery of the sanctity of marriage.” She is such a liar. She’s probably got a date in her room. That’s not the right link but it will do I suppose. Crazy Days and Nights did a bling item a few years about Phaedra and her possibly paid dates in her hotel room on a trip to LA.
Anyway, Phaedra texts Porsha and says that she can’t believe the other girls are celebrating the demise of a family or some such bullshit. She says that the hostess of the party is the trifling woman who was texting my husband. Well, that is out of left field. Didn’t we start with Kenya and Phaedra playing tennis like two old friends? Kenya is confused too. Apparently realizes she is going into the reunion with no shit to sling so she is trying to come up with something to say. Little does she know, she is the main attraction of the reunion this year.
Porsha shows up to Phaedra’s room with a bunch of alcohol. But Kenya breaks up the party, tosses Porsha out and tries to figure out what is going on with Phaedra. We are seriously going back to Kenya’s very first season to try to show that Kenya was coming for Apollo. Despite the fact that Apollo admitted to everyone including Phaedra that he lies about everything. Phaedra even apologized to Kenya for calling her a whore for so long as a result of those lies. Did they simply run out of things to talk about in Maui?
Kenya is pissed. She talks about Phaedra sitting on her high horse with the restoration thing when she is the very one trying to break everyone apart. I suppose the point of this scene is to officially end this fake friendship that never was in time for the reunion. Kenya offers to pray with Phaedra and the little holy roller declines.
Kenya and Porsha make it back to the party in time for cake. And that is really what is important. Porsha says that Phaedra is just upset because the divorce is so fresh, it’s only been a week according to Porsha. Oops. Porsha was not supposed to share the alternate fact with the others. Kenya said she heard there were problems with getting her divorce finalized.
Production realizes that these two scenes have completely tanked so they send the guys up to crash the party.
Kandi sums up Maui by saying that it didn’t help out anyone’s relationship, but at least Porsha admitted she’s a liar.
Next week: Noelle and Kairo are in Cynthia’s fashion show. Kenya appears to literally lick her chops over Kairo. Phaedra finds out that Porsha told them about her divorce. Porsha wraps up her fake storyline with Todd. And Phaedra takes Kandi’s former employee to see a real lawyer about suing her for stealing his ideas. He claims she stole the idea for her play from him too. Um, dude, the play was about Kandi’s life. We also saw Matt sitting in a stairwell angry.
P.S. The other night I was looking up some stuff on Twitter and landed on a Twitter account that had video of Kairo masturbating. Allegedly. And before the guys ask, I don’t remember the account. But it’s out there and probably not hard to find. Heh. I said hard. And BIG.