It’s Tuesday night, the busiest TV night of the week, and I’m excited for RHOBH! I’m pretty sure we are starting with dueling Ferrari scenes, one with Erika and one with Kyle but don’t yell at me if I am wrong. I am not someone who is impressed with expensive cars.
Erika joins Eileen for lunch outside after pulling up in her Ferrari and leaving it out in front of the restaurant despite the sign discouraging such behavior. I don’t they they mind when it is a super fancy car though. Erika is going to visit her mother in Georgia. These two love Rinna. I love them for that.
Kyle drove her Ferrari to lunch with Dorit. Kyle is having an event at her store for Fat Jewish. Dorit is trashing Rinna to Kyle. Kyle is defending Rinna. LVP is at home with Ken and the two of them are trashing Rinna. Ken always looks like such a douchebag when he trash talks women.
The Fat Jewish
The Fat Jewish is an Instagram and Twitter personality known for his wacky humor. The Fat Jewish calls Rinna who called in sick for Kyle’s event and yet she was Instagramming herself out shopping for shoes at Sax. Kyle had him call to bust her. Dorit and her husband PK are available to come, but apparently unable to walk as Dorit spills out of the car onto the curb in front of the Bravo camera and the hired paparazzi. Camille arrives as Eileen’s date. Erika is drinking rosé from a straw right out of the bottle. The Fat Jewish gives Kyle a lap dance in his boxers. You can see Kyle’s response above.
First LVP tells Erika she is not doing her introductory kisses correctly, and then Dorit tells Erika that when she complimented her hair, it was the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. LVP moves to stand beside Dorit. Things seem very tense. Dorit blames her “British humor” for her cuntiness in confession.
Ah, the Hong Kong trip is going to be about LVP and dogs. Oh joy. My favorite subject. She did just open a great dog rescue in Beverly Hills though. It looks amazing. I do think LVP is full of shit about a rescue in Hong Kong. So much all about me with LVP. LVP asks if it would be rude to ask Erika to bring her plane. Erika says actually it would be, yes. Then there was the ridiculous scene where LVP pretends like this is her trip and not a cast trip and wavers about who to invite. Why do they do this?
Say what you will about LVP but her house is amazing. I always get behind on recapping because I actually stop and watch the scenes at her place. It’s just stunning. Eden traps Erika in one of her insufferable hugs. Ugh. No wait. THAT WAS DORIT with the horrible hug. So far it’s Kyle, Erika and Dorit for this glorious luncheon. I suppose that is because LVP can’t stand Rinna, Eileen and Eden. Kyle announces that Kim became a grandmother the night before after the cake party with Carnie Wilson. Dorit and LVP start going in on Rinna and Eileen. Tell me again that Dorit is not LVP’s foot soldier. Erika once again defends her choice to be very selective about who she opens up too.
Later, Kyle goes over to Kim’s new condo to bring her tons of baby stuff. The sisters bond over Hucksley’s delivery. Kim is already talking about Rinna. Again.
Erika takes the jet and the glam squad and heads to the A T L. The glam squad is coming to pamper her mother. Can we talk about Erika’s talking head look at the top of this post? WTF happened there?
Erika’s mother lives in Conyers. Erika has clearly had the house staged for filming. It’s a great little house. Erika tells her two team glam squad about her grandmother’s ten year struggle with Alzheimer’s. Erika cries in her talking head. It’s so very sad.
Reneé, Erika’s mother arrives home from play practice sporting a “pat the puss” t-shirt. She talks about her mother’s parenting style. Her mother was a bit tough and expected Erika to make her own way in the world.
The next day Erika and her mom go to visit Erika’s grandmother’s grave. More sadness. The cemetery is very woodsy and pretty. He moms says when her time comes to just throw her out there. But don’t bury her. She wants to be cremated. Erika was extremely close with her grandmother. We find out that the reason Erika never cries is because her mother didn’t tolerate it. Her mama says that Erika is a kind spirit who has been very kind to her entire family.
LVP and Ken clearly worked their asses off on this dog rescue. She is taking dogs from the kill shelter to populate her new shelter. The purpose of this scene is for LVP to invite Rinna to Hong Kong. LVP says she wants to put Dubai behind her (I bet she does!) and move on. LVP said she thought Rinna was a real bitch last year and Rinna was all…back atcha bitch!
LVP has a price for this peace treaty of course. She wants Rinna’s eyelashes. Why? Surely LVP can track down the eyelashes for herself. Of course she can. She just wants Rinna to have to leave and go back into the world without lashes. As LVP says “Seeing her leave with her bald little eyes will be such divine retribution.” And then she says Rinna is right, she can manipulate her. She’s kidding of course, but there is a lot of truth in her humor.
Next Week: It’s the trip to Hong Kong and Erika finally has enough of Dorit’s crap.