Chelsea’s segment starts us off this week. We get it, Chelsea is cute; Cole is cute; Aubree really is cute. However, I can barely stand listening to these two “adults” talk baby talk. I would say they do it out of excitement for the new baby and what they are experiencing now, but that’s not the case. They’ve always communicated this way! But I’ve got to tell you: it has to stop NOW or I’m seriously just going to fast forward through their segment! Oh wait… I can’t forget the gender reveal. When the producer ask the gender, Cole eloquently revealed that the baby “has a wiener”. He must be so proud! Later in the episode we see Chelsea showing Aubree a table’s length of ultrasound photos. Aubree is excited as Chelsea points out body parts. Chelsea refers to the baby’s wiener as his “naughty.” His what? Oh Lord. Great education.
Once again we hear about what a horrible father Adam is. He’s $10,000 behind on child support. I get the impression Chelsea doesn’t care too much about that or she wouldn’t have let it get so high. Chelsea and her father don’t hesitate to take Adam to court, so why not have his wages garnished? He has a job!
Now Aubree is throwing a hissy fit over her mom being five minutes late to pick her up from school. She pouting and making weird noises in the backseat. She actually reaches over and slaps the camera. She’s learned well, that little grasshopper.
Kail is on the phone with her friend. The good news is that she’s actually talking into the phone this time instead of just staring down at it. They are discussing the custody mediation scheduled for the following day. She whines that she does not want to do a 50/50 custody with Javi. She’s Lincoln’s mother and wants more time with him. She actually says that she needs to take her own feelings out of the equation! I, of course, guffaw at this. Kail doesn’t utter a word or make a single move without thinking of her own feelings… and that’s usually the only thing she thinks about. But I have to give her some credit for showing some sensitivity to the fact that Isaac will have a hard time understanding why Lincoln gets to spend weekends with Javi but Isaac doesn’t. Kail, seriously? She’s already dropping both boys off with Javi for overnights. Girl has things to do and people to see.
Of course, she gets into another I’m outta here fight with Javi while dropping the boys off. I like Javi. When Javi is pissed, he doesn’t let Kail slide and calls her out on her shit. She magnanimously says she’ll agree to the 50/50 custody, but doesn’t miss the chance to lament how hard it has been for her because she had him all to herself for eight months. Javi calls her out saying they were at camp 5 days a week! He can’t stand how she makes herself sound like she spent all her time with the kids. Javi knows what she’s been up to, hanging out with her friends for those 8 months while the kids were in camp. Kail storms out of the house the same way she used to do with Joe. When Javi calls her to apologize for getting angry, Kail tells him to keep his mouth shut.
After the mediation, Kail and Javi go to lunch to discuss holiday custody arrangements. Kail actually has the balls to tell Javi it’s not about what he wants. After all, you would think that he’d have figured out by now that it’s all about what Kail wants!
Javi is one pissed off man. He passive aggressively baits Kail. This time when she tells him that the kids come first, he responds with “they do?”. Of course, Kail jumps up and leaves, ending the discussion. Javi follows her out to the car and goes medieval on her ass. He brings up how she opened her (beep) legs to some guy, and when he comes home, there’s some (beep) dude in his house. He then tells her to get the (beep) outta there and slams the car door. We are now getting a glimpse into Javi’s very real, and (to me) warranted anger towards his soon to be ex-wife. Kail can’t get out of that parking lot fast enough. As she is driving away it looks like she mangled the camera in her car to stop it from filming. I bet she learned that from Aubree! I loved that scene. I was rooting for Javi. He was cuckolded (and I mean that it the archaic sense, not in the urban dictionary definition.)
Leah’s storyline is so forced and boring that it’s difficult not to fast forward through her scenes. I don’t know how that woman can drive and have a conversation with a friend with all the screaming going on in her back seat. She decides to reward Gracie with a dollar because she did a good job on her handwriting test. Allie also did well, but Leah doesn’t give her a dollar because, well, she always does good and Gracie rarely does anything right. Oy! Give both kids a fucking dollar for God Sakes!
Seems like dealing with Jeremy and trying to cast him in a bad light is Leah’s story this season. Boring. Blah, blah, blah. He was in town for four days before seeing Addie, blah blah blah. She can’t force Jeremy to have a relationship with his own daughter. Blah, blah blah.
At one of the Addie exchanges, Jeremy does mention that he is now engaged. No surprise from Leah. She graciously congratulates him. But… she doesn’t let it go at that though. Oh no. Leah actually starts to lecture him on the sacrament of being wed to another person. The commitment, the faithfulness (as I recall she was the one caught cheating by a deer cam). The hypocrisy was a real delight to watch because I think she was actually serious! She reminded Jeremy she’s been through two divorces now so she knows about the seriousness of marriage.
Once Addie was buckled in the car, the kid starts screaming at Leah to take her to Walmart. She screams this repetitively and then screams she wants lipstick. And long nails. And a boyfriend. Addie was cute and funny in that scene.
Jenelle’s first scene opens with her telling her friend that David is at school! What??? David goes to school? First I’ve heard of that. You would think it might have been mentioned before, to, you know, make David look like less of a barnacle on Jenelle’s ass.
Jenelle is still in the dark about why Barbara won’t just give Jace back, dammit! She has done everything her mother has asked of her. Barb said go to school, she went to school. Barb said get rid of the dysfunctional relationships with men. She hooked up with David. Jenelle thinks her mother keeps Jace from her because she won’t get paid for being on the show without having Jace as her story line. She also thinks it may be because Barb is too attached to Jace to give him up. Jenelle doesn’t get it. I think I know why Barb keeps Jace from her. For starters, she has a history of drug addiction, criminal behavior and abusive boyfriends… Keefer, Nathan, Gary, Courtland and David.
After the deposition, Jenelle conferred with her attorney. The attorney outlined what Jenelle can expect going forward. All the issues, legal and otherwise, from the past are admissible. Jenelle doesn’t seem to think that will be a problem because all the Judges know her from her past mistakes. It seems she thinks that will work in her favor because she’s come such a long way and matured so nicely. Jenelle says her attorney is not worried about how they “testified her.” After translating that phrase into English, my conclusion is that the attorney thinks the depo went well.
Previews for next week look like a humdinger.