OMG Erika Jayne has a huge blond kinky wig. She is so ready to perform. She says it is actually three wigs. Her jumpsuit is to die for. I probably won’t get photos until the wee hours I will have to change them out tomorrow to give you the full effect. It’s a lot.
I’m not really sure who Parker Young is but I definitely plan to find out after Andy plays of montage of his shirtless Instagram photos. Dayum Erika wants to know where exactly he lives. He’s a hottie with an eight pack. We literally waited on live TV while Andy followed the guy and asked how old he was. His Instagram is Parker_Young and he is 28. He may be on the cusp of being too old for Andy. And he’s straight.
The first poll is do you think Rinna remembers what she said. 87% say yes. The other 13%, bless your heart, thanks for supporting my girl. Erika says she thinks pretty soon Rinna will get around to owning it. I think so too. I also think Rinna is really bad at lying.
In a game Erika is asked if she flies private everywhere she goes. She said, “Not everywhere, I flew commercial here.” I am dying to know when she is staying. I forget where LVP stays but I assume it is at least there. I bet it is not Hotel Gansevoort where they stick “the poors.”
Erika is asked what her reaction was when she saw the episode with Rinna and Eden. She replied, “She’s fucked.”
Is it snowing in NYC tonight? Because it really seems like it might be snowing. A lot where Erika is.
Parker is in love with Erika. When asked who is favorite RHOBH is out side of Queen Erika, Erika, who has been feeding him answers for everything all night suggests, “Say Kenya Moore, because she’s sweet.” When Andy says Kenya is not on RHOBH, Parker comes up with “Eden, or maybe Dorit.” So okay, Parker is good-looking but dumb. Erika became a bit less attracted to him with those choices. Rightly so.
The bartender is a UFC fighter or something. He is in love with her and wants her to walk out with him at some fight in Brazil. It would not surprise me if she did this. He also wants to be in a video. Andy must feel so overshadowed by Erika.
Eden Twitter something like, “Parker needs a real MILF, I’m single!” Andy asks if Parker is single and again Erika answers for him, that he is. Andy really wants to know and in a rare follow-up gets the truth out of Parker. He has been dating the same girl since she was 17 on and off. Then he makes it sound like they have an arrangement. I hope they do, or she will be unhappy with all of this. He says his girlfriend has a bigger crush on Erika than he does. Erika says her son has been dating the same girl off and on for many years too. Andy asked why we don’t hear more about him. She says he is a real police officer in the streets so it would not be good (or safe) for him. Andy asks if they are close. She says of course they are, he loves his mom and he lives with her. He’s her baby! This is me saying, “Shout out to all the haters who think they know things they don’t know a damn thing about.”
A caller asks why she thinks Eden went to LVP to talk about Rinna instead of talking to Rinna. Erika says she thought that was very convenient. Which brings us to a poll question. Andy points out that LVP was thrilled when Rinna was sobbing and left early. So the question is, on a scale of one to ten, how happy was LVP about Rinna’s predicament? Erika, Andy and I all agree she was a 10 on the happiness meter. The poll settles on 8. Erika says we will have to see how things play out. I mentioned in my recap tonight that Eden seems a bit off her rocker on Instagram. Like…just off. I can’t explain it. But there seems to be a layer of meanness under that outer layer of Namaste.
OMG! I just realized this is the guy from Imposters. I love him! I haven’t watched tonight’s show yet. A caller asked what it was like to work with Uma Thurman on Imposters. Andy is stunned! He had no idea she was on the show.
A caller asks Erika about her Valentine’s jewelry from Tom. She says she gets a piece of jewelry every year for Valentines’ Day.
Since she is not home, she has not gotten this year’s piece yet. Sounds like Erika has a very detailed prenup on her terms. You go, girl! Erika has been a bit lit for the whole show. I mean endless free margaritas before a show will do that to a girl. Especially if it is snowing.
Erika says of Kyle that she is very grounded, a showgirl and gets it. Andy asks what she means by a showgirl. She says she grew up in Hollywood. She gets it.
The Mazel goes to that hot felon who finally got out of prison and walked in NYFW. Because Andy loves him some felons. He said he hopes Juicy Joe looks that good when he gets out. Erika who is a motermouth tonight, asks who Juicy Joe is. Andy said it’s Teresa’s husband from RHOA. Erika replied, “No, it’s New Jersey! So many felons! It’s hard to keep them all straight!” Touche Erika Jayne.
I cannot believe Erika didn’t perform. I sort of thought that was her whole point in coming tonight.
P.S. (WHY AM I STILL UP REPORTING???) During the aftershow, Parker is asked to play shag, marry, kill with LVP, Dorit and Rinna. Erika as usual is heavily influencing his answers. Marry LVP, Shag Rinna, Kill Dorit. This is interesting because drunk off her ass Erika is feeding him the answers.
To be fair, Erika says it is her release date for XXPensive and she has been drinking since noon. And you know the weather in NYC seems to call for snow.
Erika is VERY into Parker. Did I mention that?
Below you can see how rich Erika is…