Before we get started tonight, we need to talk about Eden. I’ve been following her Instagram and she’s kind of batshit. I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s someone similar to my drunk tweets, but she’s sober. She says weird things and there is always, #EdensLoveStory among the myriad hashtags. Even when the post seems very somber. I don’t know how to explain it, so I’m going to need you all to click here and go tell me what you think. My concentration has been a bit off, maybe it’s my reading comprehension. She just seems sort of judgey or something.
There was a lot of publicity happening today for the rest of this season. The ever classy LVP told People today that when Rinna arrived in Mexico she was about as welcome as a “poo in the pool.” So gross! So here comes my girl Rinna, whose mouth has gotten her into trouble again, walking into a pit of angry vipers.
Maurico on the other hand, warmly welcomes Rinna and Eileen. It’s Maurico’s big night and he has swag bags of merch for everyone. The ladies are getting into all of the finery and the stage is being set for a fabulous cage match. I expect the first match-up to be Kyle and Rinna.
After a cute Mexican tram takes everyone to the party location, Mauricio makes a speech about his business to his agents and guests and LVP is doing shout-outs about the margaritas. Cut to Dorit who looks, odd. Time to cue the mariachi band so that Maurico can do a Mexican hat dance on top of the bar. I love this party! How can you stay mad with a mariachi band and a Mexican hat dance, y’all?
Rinna, Eileen and Erika have a chat. Eileen says she had a vitamin drip date with Eden who was trash talking Kyle for being mean to her. Erika brings up that they need to sort things out with Kyle and says she is not going to fill them in on what was said, but they need to have a conversation with Kyle. Kyle tells Rinna she heard that she is saying Kim is not completely sober, she’s near death, and that Kyle enables her. Rinna has selective amnesia. Ha! LVP just said the same thing. Rinna is in full denial mode. Oh, Rinna. This is so bad. You need to own it, and stop telling Eden to own it. I just remembered that Eden is not even there. Now Rinna is moving into “if I said it…” LVP is riding Rinna hard. Rinna deserves it. Kyle gives Rinna the benefit of the doubt. Erika is the first to disengage from the conversation and head to the bar. Rinna was literally backed into a corner for all of this.
The Mexican food must be delicious, LVP, Kyle and Eileen cannot slow down on the chow. I have not seen this crew eat this much in all of their many seasons combined. Eileen of course believes Rinna and thinks that LVP is being way too hard on her. For once, Rinna deserves it.
Rinna is outside alone crying saying she wants to go home. Dorit goes out to see is Rinna is in fact the one close to death. Rinna just wants to go be with her family. Eileen comes to rescue Rinna from Dorit, who is a member of the enemy camp. Rinna has a complete breakdown in Eileen’s arms, while Dorit just stands there looking on, expressionless. Then Rinna goes back to denial mode. Rinna says that Eden has stabbed her in the back. Rinna said her life is too good for all this bullshit. Eileen is in a white dress and has Montezuma’s revenge. She and Rinna go to their rooms at the casa. Erika goes after them to make sure things are okay and decides to back with Rinna.
LVP goes to work on Kyle right away to rile her up against Rinna.
Erika sits with Rinna and tells her that she needs fess up to Kyle if she the things she is being accused of. Rinna is still resisting. Erika continues to press her to come clean.
When LVP, Dorit and Kyle and their spouses return in the van back to the house. LVP suggests a night of wife-swapping and begins talking about her “knickers.” Tis the season of #Pantygate after all. The next morning LVP seems to still be a bit under the influence as she seems to be trying to do a shampoo commercial in Spanish while flirting with the help.
Rinna calls Harry Hamlin. He says all the right things to make Rinna feel better. As a good husband should.
Back in LA, Eden and her mother have a scene where they drink a CALM drink. I have a container of that I pick up and contemplate drinking from time to time. I’ve yet to try it. It’s an anti stress thing that balances your magnesium levels. Anyway, her mom says all the right things to make her feel better. As a good mom should. Eden and her mom hug for a very, very, long time. Her mom finally pries herself away.
Dorit calls home to check on the kids. Jagger keeps asking for Mama. The nanny assures Dorit everything is fine. Dorit cries.
LVP and Ken leave early due to a prior commitment. Everyone else heads out sail on a huge catamaran. There is mucho drinking. Rinna and Eileen talk about how thrilled LVP is that Rinna is going down. And this is true. But, my darling Rinna, you did this to yourself. You handed yourself to LVP on a silver platter! This is going to be tough to recover from.
I haven’t really mentioned how pervy PK has come off this episode because it skeeves me out. He knows where everyone is a at all time and seems to want to gossip about whoever is not there. At the moment he announces to Erika and PK that Rinna and Eileen tend to isolate them from the group. Maybe it is because PK wants a double kiss every time they re-enter whatever room he is in. Erika says they have a close bond, she gets it. In her talking head, she asks the obvious question, ” Why does PK care if Eileen and Rinna are chatting in another part of the boat?”
The women start jumping off the boat into the ocean. Probably to escape PK. PK jumps after the women but Dorit is still on the boat. PK offers her a Birkin to jump. She does. In her talking head Dorit flashes a Birkin. I think it’s more likely he bought her a merkin. Google it.
They all want some music. Rinna says if they play Painkillr then she will get on the table and dance to it. It’s great when a cast member makes music and allows it to be played otherwise they can’t film with music. #FunFact Rinna dances enthusiastically basically following every move from the video. PK is in hog heaven. Erika is impressed. Kyle and Maurico were down with it as well. I can’t wait for Dorit to run and tell LVP about this.
Next Week: We get more Harry Hamlin! Rinna gets an award, I think for her work with the Angel charity that feeds the homeless. She does a lot with them. Kyle tells Kim what Rinna said. Rinna confronts Eden.