Sheree Whitfield Buys A Book For Her Lieberry, Y’all!

It’s finally the weekend after yet another long week of trials and tribulations. The world has been brimming with insanity lately, and we could all use a good laugh. Thankfully, Sheree Whitfield is a limitless source of hilarity. Today, Sheree Whitfield announced on Instagram that she has written her first novel.

You cannot make this shit up.

The last time we heard from Sheree Whitfield about her interest in literature, she was standing on a dirt mound on the grounds where Chateau Sheree was supposed to be built, telling some random, pretend builder that she wanted a skatin’ rink for the churren, and a big ole lieberry in her new home.  Prior to that, there was the time that Andy Cohen presented her with the Speak N Spell she never had as a child on WWHL. During our ridiculous court proceedings, I noted that Sheree was a very adamant story-teller.  She may have had a bit of trouble sticking to the same story, but the tales she spun about the churren being afraid to play in the dirt outside of Chateau Sheree were quite amusing.  She had a lot of trouble when questioned about her stories. She proclaimed herself to be the builder of the The House With Turrets Syndrome, yet didn’t know what a certificate of occupancy was and seemed to have problems with other words that were not programmed on the Speak N Spell.  But who cares about all that.

Now she is a published author.

Sheree Stole Bob Whitfield's Furniture When She Was Evicted by the Bank

The top graphic is the cover of her 320 page paperback novel. Here is a price guide for purchasing a book from a high quality ghost writer:

Sample pricing based on estimate of 250 words/page:
80 page book=$3,500
100 page book=$4,375
160 page book=$7,000
200 page book=$8,750
240 page book=$10,500
320 page book=$14,000

Sheree clearly went for a book with lots of pages! She did not use the site I pulled those figures from. I know this because that site was well written.  She probably paid half that, because one look at the columns on the House With Turrets Syndrome, and you know she loves to cut corners.

Let’s judge a book by its cover, shall we? Ignore for a moment that there is a giant woman superimposed over a house. I want to know why they couldn’t at least center the woman! There is enough room above her head so that her feet don’t have to be amputated. Why are her toes cut off?

The title is another sign that she hired a ghost writer. There is one properly placed accent aigu in the word fiancée and one incorrectly placed on her first a name.  Sheree uses her vast knowledge of diacritics to place the accent on the wrong “e” but she doesn’t just misplace the mark, she also uses the wrong accent mark, the accent grave. I imagine this was discussed over the phone and Sheree said to put the accent on the last ‘e’ because I don’t believe she knows the function of the accent and she probably said something like “That’s how I be spellin’ it! Who gonna check me boo?”  At this point the ghostwriter realizes she is writing for someone who literally cannot spell her name. I can’t imagine the torment that ghostwriter suffered. That said, as you will soon see, the ghostwriter sucks.

It's Story Time With Sheree Whitfield

Any Atlanta local knows that only outsiders say “Hotlanta.” In fact, if you use the term Hotlanta to someone from Atlanta they immediately make a mental note that you are, in fact, an idiot and worse, likely a yankee.

I checked to see if this was a vanity press publication, and it’s actually published by Dafina, a small independent publisher of black romance novels. So you buy your book and then market it at this place.  I don’t think anyone is going to break even on this venture. I hope they got paid up front.

When pulling this description I noticed that giant women with  amputated feet seems to be  appears to be de rigueur  at that particular publishing house. Here is the plot summary from their site:

From Shereé Whitfield, one of the stars of Bravo TV’s hit show The Real Housewives of Atlanta, comes a debut novel that’s a page-turning mix of rumor, fiction, and a tantalizing dash of reality…

Sasha Wellington has put herself on the fast track to success. Fresh out of college, she’s got her career as a fashion designer and entrepreneur all planned out. Her only wild card is choosing which city to launch from. When fate points her to Atlanta, she sets out to make her dreams come true…

Before she knows it, Sasha’s befriended by two rival BFFs. First there’s Norman, savvy stylist to Atlanta’s stars, from the A-list on down. Then there’s Nina, an outrageous personality with a questionable nightlife. Between their antics, Sasha’s beyond grateful for her coworker, Casey. Married to an NBA player, Casey’s got class. But there’s more than meets the eye to being a baller’s wife. And the more time Sasha spends among the movers and shakers, the clearer it gets that just like on reality TV, the truth lies behind-the-scenes. Still, she’s not worried about getting caught up in the drama—until she’s romanced by a baller of her own. Can she stick to her game plan, or will Hotlanta derail her future—and reveal a side of herself even she didn’t know existed?

I hope when Sasha Wellington has a fashion show, there are actually fashions involved.  I’m gonna guess her line will be called something snappy like She by Sasha. I bet Norman is the gay side kick and Nina is the requisite THOT. I wonder if the ghostwriter wrote that blurb. Does she charge extra for misplaced commas and random dashes? Sasha’s befriended?  Between their antics? Is there no editing involved with this publisher?

For those of you clamoring for a generic romance novel, this one hits the market on January 31, 2017. Or you could give it a few weeks and pick up a copy at the Dollar Store.



Filed under Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Sheree Whitfield

52 responses to “Sheree Whitfield Buys A Book For Her Lieberry, Y’all!

  1. Allison

    I can’t think, I’m laughing too hard at your post. That was guuuuuud. Someone in hotlanta is feeling the burn 😂😂 but no, that’s definitely not going to make my Goodreads “to read” list.

  2. SLM

    I read and then re-read this about 4 more times in a row and howled until I couldn’t breathe each time! Bwahahahahaha! Thanks for the hilarious tea, TT, I REALLY needed the laugh!

    • Minky

      I can see it now. One day Sheree’s house will become a public monument that honors her great literary contributions to our great nation. And it’s mission will include contributing to literacy programs. It will be named “The Sheree Whitfieel Lieberry for Churrun Who Cain’t Reeed”

      • SLM

        Oh heavens above, Minky, your comments to this are making me howl, too. I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks! She can also have plays sets for kids too big to play in them and tickets for a private skating rink that doesn’t exist!!! And I’m with you, I want to be a ghostwriter, too!!!

      • Cheryl B.

        This is why this site is priceless, after laughing so hard, then the comments make you cry from laughing!! :)

  3. Lisa j

    Bwwaahhhhh, Dear Santa, LOL

  4. Joanplus2dogs

    Well I guess we are fortunate that it isn’t a How to build a home in Hotlanta book.

    Perhaps all those copies she will buy might help fill up some of book shelves provided the house won’t still be leaking by then.

    Love the tagged names!

  5. SB

    sheree really knows how to bring the lolz

  6. Zoemonster2

    Thx for the warning ⚠️. 💩.

  7. Minky

    Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Aaaaaahahahahahaha!!!

    Okay, okay. That was funny. But, seriously. Sheree’s an “Arthur” now? What pluck!

    • Minky

      Oh, and BTW, where do I get in on this ghost writer action? I’m not much of a grammarian, but if the person who wrote Sheree’s book can do it, then why not Minky too? I could use a little bit of extra money for some odds and ends. PM me TT. Help a bitch out! ☺️

      • Wonky Tonk

        LOL When I saw the price list I was thinking the same thing. I’m in the wrong racket. I think I would be able to push out 80 pages in a day or two, especially if the client isn’t particularly picky about grammar, or diction, or, emm, style. And if I’m really lucky I can make mad use of the crazy mad technical writing skillz I learned in university.

        Minky we should totally collaborate and make like a bajillion dollars together, cash our checks, and laugh at all of the negative reviews posted by grammarians on that large book retailer with the digital book sales, for their hardware, that kindles a desire for reading, on the Internets.

        We can call us:
        WoMink Enterprises?
        MinkTonky Inc.?

        Servicing your literary needs one questionably accented word at a time. LOL

      • Minky

        That sounds like such a fun job. We’ll be like the John Waters of publishing. We can specialize in trashy romance novels that feature HW characters. All smut! It’ll sell like hot cakes!

      • Happy gal

        I vote yes Minky go for it I love you lr style of writing and it has to be better than this example so you are already ahead

      • Wonky Tonk

        Sure, sure. That would be fun, but let’s leave room for a Mystery line of books. These are the working titles of a few right off the bat:

        “Shanaynay And The Case Of The missing Coin Satchel: Where My Coins BITCH!”
        “Shari And The Case Of The Purloined House Interior: Psyche!”
        “The Case Of Who Done Stole Mrs. Fuchsia’s Swan: No Hanky; No Thank Yee.”
        “The Case Of The Mysterious Death Of Mrs. Fuchsia: Irka Done That Shit!”
        “The Case Of The Missing Cases Where Ms. Brittney’s Drinks Done Gone: Gettin Skinny All Up In Ya”

        Or how about this for an audio book title:
        “The Case Of The Cradle Robbing Of Kedam Anworthy: The Carlotta Coolswell’s Story As Narrated By Lewdana Royale”

      • Minky

        AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I loves it!!!

        Here are some of my campy smut series titles:

        “Vajayjay and the Case of the Empty Love Tank”

        “Naked Wasted: That Bitch Done Me So Wrong I Don’t Wanna Be Right!”

        “When Life Gives You Lemons, Go Get My Enema Bag: A Sordid Tale of a Love Gone So Sour That it Gave Me Projectile Diarrhea So Bad I Had To Sell My House.”

        “The King and I: Love is an Invisible Illness and Money is the Cure.”

        “The Brandeen Chronicles: When Good Bitches Do Bad Things”

        “My Man Dookie”

        “Bloop! When Love Goes Down the Drain.”

        “Phoebe & Zeus: 50 Shades of Conjugal Visits”


      • Wonky Tonk

        Lol You make me laugh Minky! Those are hilarious.

      • Miguel

        You slay me, Minky – per us!!! :)

  8. Bridgett

    That’s the real title?!! Oh my word.

  9. Bridgett

    That’s the real title?!! Oh my word.

  10. LisaPat

    Is the Nina character supposed to be Nene?

    • tamaratattles

      Yes. I was so distracted by so many laughs from a couple of paragraphs and a bad cover that it didn’t even register about Nina’s last name probably being Lakes. Norman and Nina can share shoes….

      • mm

        You’re so right about the misplaced accent on Sheree but the accents on Shereé and fiancées are both accents aigus ( in very different fonts).
        Accents aigus lean toward the right, (É) , sounds like hay, stay, go away :)
        Accent grave (È ) leans left , sounds like wreck, heck, Shrek
        …that’s why you thought it was an accent grave on her name…(slight smirk)
        By the way, is that supposed to be Shérééééé on the cover? doesn’t look anything like her..if it is , the gods of photoshop have been putting in waaay too much overtime!
        love you TT, ma chérie!

      • tamaratattles

        Thanks for the unnecessary diacritics lesson.It is wasted on me, it’s Sheree who needs it. She does not use the proper accent or place it on the proper letter. Sheree uses an accent grave on the final e of her name. Because, idiot. As I said, I imagine there was some sort of phone conversation where she said the accent goes on the last e of her name and the writer at least used the right accent in the wrong place rather than the wrong accent in the wrong place like Sheree does.

      • LisaPat

        Wowww.. there’s probably so much shade.

  11. Wonky Tonk

    I like the way your write TT. In particular I like the way you edit, and sometimes leave in the original drafted verbiage alongside the revised as you did in this one. It’s kind of a window into your thinking about the way you want to express yourself.

    • tamaratattles

      Not sure where I did that…lol. I don’t edit my own copy much as I am usually pressed to just get it up. I do glance over and slice and dice a bit on my other authors. Writer types can be very wordy.

      In my defense I am always watching something on TV with one eye when I write and when something good happens I stop to watch, totally lose my train of thought and pick back up with a new random plan and go back in and add the stuff I forgot three TV breaks ago. It’s a wonder it’s readable at all actually.

  12. I don’t even really follow RHOA anymore. But, this shit is rich. Laughing my ass off. Thank you for this! 😂

  13. If I was that Ghost writer I would demand a cashiers check up front lord knows this is just another court case in the making. “The young thug pulled his low rider up to Phalicia’s office building and grabbed the grenade to blow her the fuck up!” For fuck sake she should of just come out with a song. “Don’t be tardy on the mortgage”

  14. Margaret Shepard

    Liberty lol. Isn’t her Mother a published author? I read that somewhere. Perhaps Mommy gave her a nice discount. Will I read it, not a chance. I like non-fiction anyway. Interesting about ghost writer rates. Teresa Guidence has spent a fortune.

  15. Margaret Shepard

    L ieberry I meant. Funny!!

  16. Cheryl B.

    Omgosh, thank you TT!! My husband is wondering why I’m laughing getting my coffee :)

  17. Fizz

    Usually the book is better but, in this case, I think I’ll wait for the movie 😉

  18. Cheryl B.

    Do you think that there will be a “launch party” that she will invite the whose who to while saying of course “everyone is trying to get an invite”? May be worth watching this season just for that!! Just my thoughts :)

  19. Suzanne

    In regards to the ghost writer’s grammar, I was taught in school never to use the words AND and BUT at the beginning of a sentence when writing formally. Granted, I am older and went to school a long time ago and perhaps the rules have now changed.

    • Iloveearlgrey

      Yes! It drives me crazy when someone starts a sentence with and or but. They are freaking conjunctions! They go in between conjoining sentences. I don’t judge people on the internet, but someone writing a novel should not have glaring grammatical, spelling, or punctuation errors.

      • tamaratattles

        There are a LOT of people whose only memory from elementary school grammar is “DON’T START A SENTENCE WITH AND!”

        It is not always wrong to start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. When you teach grammar to kids, the main thing you are trying to teach them is what constitutes a sentence. They are trying to get the kid to make sure to have a subject and a verb. Once you pass the fifth grade you should be able to do this while starting a sentence with a conjunction and still have a complete sentence.

        And by the time you find your self correcting people on the Internet, you should have learned that not everything your first grade teacher told you holds true for adults.

      • tamaratattles

        Oh, and sometimes writers use sentence fragments for effect as well. Especially in informal writing. It can show emphasis. I. Just. Can’t. Stand. Pickles.

  20. Happy gal

    I have to admit when I first glanced at this story I thought this picture was a meme not an actual cover of some book she is suppose to be releasing !!

    And then I read the synopsis and could not stop laughing. All she needs now is a blogger character that she heroine loses too in court hehehhe

    I just can’t with this delusional bitch

  21. LisaPat

    Mehtinks that Sheree is just trying to make some quick cash. Some of these housewives keep throwing food at the wall until something finally sticks, like a housewife I formerly hated, who shall remain nameless. She tried to be the next Fergie, followed by authoring a book, followed by a jewelry line and now she sells clothes.

  22. Adèle

    i so want to read this book!! seriously, this is going to be an instant classic.

  23. Adèle

    i so want to read this book!! seriously, this is going to be an instant classic.

  24. Hatin’ on Sheree is not a good look on you.

    • tamaratattles

      I disagree. When a dumb illiterate bitch drags three websites to court clogging up court time to try to infringe on our rights to free speech because she doesn’t want us to point out she can’t afford the house she is STILL trying to build… I have no problem pointing out ALL her scams and laughing at her stupidity.

    • tamaratattles

      Oh and I also love that that time she was begging people at Gay Pride to pay her five dollars to take a selfie with her is a suggested post under this one. PRICELESS.

  25. Bria

    Very hilarious . I am choking over my food with laughter. This is the best comic relief in a week. Sheree really need to stop all this craziness and get a real job.

  26. Spaghetti Kitten

    I thought this was Tamara Tattles, not The Onion. Lmao!!! Could this be real???

  27. Miguel

    THIS IS ONE OF YOUR MOST HILARIOUS POSTS EVER, TT!!! Thank you so much, I really needed this – you’re the best!!! :)

  28. Wonder if her book comes with pictures in those 320 pages. If so, it can never compare to the ones TT included in this post. The one with the dildo is priceless. I LOL every single time I click on this post!

  29. Kat Atomic Girl

    Guess I better get a copy before she wins a Nobel lit award.

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