Married At First Sight: To Love And To Cherish


Sonia and Nick

I read a little bit about Sonia and Nick the other day. There were no spoilers but it talked about how Sonia spends a lot of her off time helping the local homeless community. On one of the confessional shows Nick talked about how one day they brought home a young girl who was having some problems and kept her at their house for twelve hours and fed her and let her get herself together for a bit. Nick was super impressed by how Sonia is so caring towards others. This gives me hope for these two. Today they are making sandwiches for the homeless.  Sonia went to the store and bought all the stuff to make a bunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  This is the kind of reality I like to watch.

One of the things that a good therapist could tell Sonia, that I am observing immediately is that when you need to talk to young boys, or introverted men about feelings and serious issues, the best way to get them to talk is to work on a task side by side. There is no eye contact or examining of each others faces for clues about how messages are being received. You are both focused on the same task, and have a conversation side by side.  There is some therapeutic name for this that escapes me and will bug me now for a week.  I used to use it with all my boys and special needs kids. Girls were a lot easier to talk to and I only used this method if they were shy. We would usually do a simple sorting task. It was great for organizing my leveled library while learning more about my students.  Anyway, back to see how this works with Sonia and Nick.

MAFS Nick and Sonia
Right away or so the editing seems, Nick is comfortable relating the sandwich making to his college days eating PB & J. See? This is going splendidly. Sonia tells Nick about why she started doing this. She says she likes to write little notes on the bags.  Nick asks Sonia for advice of what to write. She says, “Don’t Lose Faith.”  Then he approves of her advice. This is amazing. They play stupid sappy music that make me teary. Because, Lymeopause.  And because I told you guys not to lose faith in Nick a few episodes ago.

On the way to feed the homeless, Nick is trying to ask Sonia to move back in. Sonia thinks Nick just wants to sweep everything under the carpet and she needs reassurance before she is willing to move back into the house. Nick feels like there are only a couple weeks left, they need to give it their best shot while they still have some time.  This side by side conversation goes well also. They have not agreed on the situation yet, but they were both way better at expressing themselves.  Nick really enjoyed feeding the homeless. I think they fell in love with each other a little bit during that scene. Sonia says that the experience humanized Nick to her again. Nick said he’s going to do whatever it take to get her to move back in and try again. Then their confessionals show they are both still afraid to trust.

Sonia and Nick have a couple over for a fiesta and some margaritas. Sonia has an awkward situation with the lady because her young boy is sitting between them during the scene. The entire thing was awkward.  Ah! It is a Cinco de Mayo.  Nick was very social at the party and danced by himself for everyone and was acting silly. Later, Nick showed the wedding album to the other couple. When the hot guy from the other couple asks what the next chapter in the book is, neither of them have an answer.   The kid did, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Later, the  guy gives Nick some advice about how important it is to….wait for it…open up and communicate. And he gives him some very concrete advice on what to say and when to say it. He gives very guy examples. He says all the right things. But Nick still seems resistant.

Nick shows his affection through gifts and gestures and I think Sonia wants words of reassurance. At the end of the episode she decides she doesn’t want to drive home. She asks if they can just hang out. Perhaps they will end up choosing to Netflix and chill?


Lilly and Tom

We see Lilly setting up for an open house on a condo and then we get a clip of Tom out surfing. This perfectly encompasses their relationship. She is go getter and highly motivated to succeed, and to her that means make a lot of money, and plan for the future. He is way more laid back and is interested in living life and having experiences and living in the moment.  They will have to do a lot of compromising for this to work.

It’s their one month anniversary and they go out for dinner. Wow, Lilly is great at gifts. She got Tom an original piece of art based on a still of him in one of his surfing videos. He’s impressed. I looks sort of like Big Foot On a hilltop, but that’s okay. It’s very cool and modern.  She honestly is fine that he didn’t get her a gift. She feels bad because they were going to write vows and she got tied up at work and didn’t have time. He’s disappointed but takes it well. He pledges his vows to her.

These two go to run errands and she is on the laptop and the phone ignoring him. I feel like this was a super staged scene set up to once again point out their differences. Otherwise, things are just too perfect. And that make people angry.

Tom wants to take Lilly to the beach so she can learn to slow down and enjoy life a little bit along the way. Surfing is not really Lilly’s thing.

Later, these two go out with another couple and give them feedback on their marriage. They give each other positive to their same gender friends.

This couple seems like a done deal. However,  Tom feels like Lilly is not being open enough with him emotionally. They can do playful, their intimacy is great, but their emotional communication isn’t where Tom needs it to be. He needs her to open up emotionally. I think Tom wants her to say that she loves him more than anything. Including her job. And she is definitely not there yet.  Both of these two are terrified the other will leave when they get to know them.

Heather And Derek

Why do they keep forcing these stupid scenes? I’m going to hunt for a snack.

Next week: Derek goes on a date with a girl with a soul.  Heather’s friend tells her like it is. Sonia considers moving back in.  Tom and Lilly have their mother’s over to visit for mother’s day and Tom deals with the language barrier. Sonia says thing can go south at any moment.


Filed under Entertainment News, Married At First Sight

27 responses to “Married At First Sight: To Love And To Cherish

  1. Allison

    I’m glad to see Nick finally appreciating Sonia and I hope she moves back in. I wonder if she’s not “punishing” him just a tiny bit for the crap he said-side note: I think Sonia is adorable but the way she makes everything a question with her inflection is starting to grate. Maybe it’s nerves, but please no more.

    • Teresa

      I completely agree with you about Sonia’s speech. Although, she hardly did it in her solo scenes this episode. If both Sonia and Nick could speak to each other like they did in their solo scenes in this episode they would solve at least some of their problems!

      • Allison

        @Theresa I totes agree. It seems so simple, if he would just say that to her, it would solve a lot.

    • L Lee

      IKR? Sounds as though she is ready to sing and take flight.

    • Bette

      I think a little punishment. Says she is avoiding him hurting her again. Hey social worker, you are running this show on your own rules. Deceiving us about intimacy because it’s private and pretending like you were never intimate is not honest. After the deception on intimacy I’m not giving her as much slack as I used to. She did say that she isn’t willing to go back to build a friendship but to build a marriage or words to thar effect. I suspect there have been lots of good times we just haven’t seen because of editing.

  2. Teresa

    During one of his solo talking to the producer scenes, Nick says something like “i miss my wife, I want her here with me, I find her very attractive…” THIS is EXACTLY what he needs to say TO SONIA!!!

  3. C. Williams

    About Heather–it seems she has never been told by friends and perhaps family about her true character. When people who care about you know that you are not ready to receive constructive criticism, they just tolerate troublesome behavior. It seems Heather’s perception of who she is and who she REALLY is are polar opposites. I think it’s unfortunate that her “friend” waits until after the breakup to be honest with Heather.

  4. Dawn Brasher

    Tom & Lillian…zzzzzzz. Derek is probably getting hit on by loads of women on social media. Best thing to happen to him…dodged a bullet with Elsa from Frozen. Only reason to watch is to root for Nick and Sonia. She is so sweet, if Nick isn’t the one, she will find someone better!

  5. Syl

    To be blunt. Tom can do better. Odd couple. Too fake of a relationship. Sonia leave Nick! You saw his true self. It will happen again. Derek you are too good for Heather. She will be alone
    forever! Good luck!

  6. You know, I think that once you heard a guy say (after already having made love with you) that he didn’t find you attractive at all, some kind of wall would go up and be very hard to take down. For me, that feeling of rejection, and the cruelty of it, would always be in the back of my mind. I think Nick is minimizing what he said, if he even remembers how it came out. I just can’t see them or Lilly and Tom making it long term. Lily is ambitious and a go-getter and Tom makes comments like nice cars and homes don’t matter. I think they do matter to Lily and, eventually, she’ll get sick of him. The matchmaking this season was atrocious, but I have a feeling it was done on purpose – couples who hit it off right away would make for pretty boring TV but it’s too bad the couples have to suffer for the sake of contrived ratings.

    • BeetsWhy

      English Rose, the point about them having sex and THEN him saying he doesn’t find her attractive? He deserves every bit of punishment she doles out. That’s a tough one to forget or unhear.

  7. Bette

    I didn’t see anyone tell Heather she is stuck up. Will watch Sunday night repeat. There were 2 places in program where 2 scenes were out of order. Not the regular repeating of scenes ad infinitum. But injections scene of Derek saying he was going to face Heather and that already had transpired. And another one. Bad editing. I loved Sonia and Nick feeding the homeless and Nick really seemed to sincerely enjoy it. There are lots of positive things that aren’t shown because of comments on confessions etc. Such as Nick saying Sonia has to wake him up off couch to go to bed. I also was proud of Sonia saying clearly and firmly how much he hurt her. Nick just doesn’t know how to respond sometimes. She’s asking if she can stay. Nick…the answer is I’D LOVE FOR YOU TO STAY I REALLY MISS YOU!!

    • Teresa

      That’s what I was saying! Why is it so hard for him to say “I want you to stay”!!!??? He say s it to everyone but Sonia!!

    • Rita Jones

      Put on the Rihanna song “Stay” if he can’t say it himself! Maybe that’ll help get her in the mood to reconsider. It’s a beautiful song!

  8. Beth K

    Sonia and Derek?

  9. Nick & Sonia …..There’s something about Nick, I feel he’s trying too hard now, He sleeps with his wife (who he sees naked) & is not attracted to her? … (yelling it to everyone) There is no coming back from that….. for me anyway.. I don’t know about this relationship..or the relationship he wants……Where did the dogs go?

    Lilly & Tom….. I agree with others here #ZZZZZZZZZZZ but they are cute together

    Derek…. Love his smile & I hope he & his “happy smoke” are having a good time! He did dodge a bullet with the “Ice Queen”

  10. Liza

    Love this show! I think we have 3 fails tho year too. Sonja is sweet but I feel like she is insecure. She has been pressuring him to talk about how he feels about her since day two. This reminds me of dating when after a week a guy tells you he loves you, its a turn off!
    Tom and Lilly- they just gross me out these days. I’m hung up on the way they kiss, being face to face for five minutes then smooch. They are opposites that wont work out.
    Derek and Heather – why are we still dealing with this? I hope Derek finds a nice girl who smokes and I hope Heather gains some insight about herself.

  11. RealE

    I said the exact thing to my husband as he begrudgingly looked up from the computer as I replayed that car scene with Lilly on her computer. Super staged. She was scrolling without looking. I think production legged them for having this issue that she works too much and he is the antithesis of a workaholic so the show works (pun intended) hard to prove this story line. I think it’s valid but blown up for the show.

    Seriously agree.. Enough with Heather and that poor guy. And the editing to make viewers think maybe she was going to want to try was hysterical. If you believe that then clearly you are dumb.

    I can’t stop rooting for Sonia and Nick. He is lucky to have her and I feel like when he said those mean things and she left, he realized that. By not moving back in, she has the power and is enjoying it, in my opinion. No judgement. I want them to work.

    Side note though.. It did sound like different sound bites were used in some Nick voice overs so I hope they are not splicing things together to make viewers think he is more into her then he was.

    • Cheryl B.

      It was so obvious, everything Sonia needs Nick to say he said! But he said to the interviewer. This episode seemed more producer involved than usual.

  12. Roxanna

    I think Sonia needs to move back home. This isn’t “Dating at First Sight” – it is “Married at First Sight.” It is too easy when you are living in different houses. Come one – there are two bedrooms!

  13. I think the term you are looking for is “parallel play”-its something I learned when my kids were young . . .

    • tamaratattles

      YES! Thank you! I got parallel discussion stuck in my head, and that is something else entirely with a totally different outcome, lol. That’s it from childhood development courses. Works well with men too though in my experience.

      • My therapist used that technique with me when I was a tween and a teenager working through my OCD and other issues. And as an introverted guy, I can definitely confirm that that technique still works to help me open up to people in a situation that emotionally wrought. I don’t think people understand the literal trepidation sustained direct eye contact in those moments (cos for me I otherwise seek out eye contact) can cause. It can be completely debilitating. It’s like your voice is stolen from you, and you have no idea to make it work.

        I don’t get why a lot of the commenters here just don’t get Nick. His personality makes perfect sense to me for a number of reasons. I hope he and Sonja make it.

      • Bette

        Thanks for insight

      • Bette

        I don’t know what parallel discussion is. I have an idea but not sure

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