Double Dose of Dance Moms: Twice The Bitching




There are new rumors on the Internet about the minis. Abby announced recently that production had decided not to bring them back for season seven, the last season before Abby may have to go into the big house for some fraudulent behavior related to her business asset reallocation bankruptcy. Now the rumor is that they may have changed their minds. I think they are filming now, so we should know more soon.  In the meantime, I’m going to do a really quick catchup on the last two episodes.

Mommy Meltdown

In this episode the original moms and the mini moms’ rivalry comes to a head.  All that really matters in this week’s pyramid is that three of the minis ranked higher than Jo Jo and Brynn.  This is basically because Jo Jo’s mom took over for Abby running the backstage run throughs last week when Abby walked out.  They are also pissed that there was only one pyramid. So Abby decides to go back to two.

The competition is in Pheonix.  Since Brynn and Kalani are both from there, they have a duet called  Prettier than Poison. Nia and  Kendall are doing their dance from last week. The minis have a lyrical group dance. The juniors are doing a routine about their old mothers using walkers. Eventually the junior elite moms all pull their kids from the dance.

I just noticed this episode is an hour and a half? Why? This is why I have to tape it in the wee hours of the morning.

Brynn and Kalani’s snake dance was really good. I thought they showed off a lot of technique. It was an interestingly slow tempo. Their minimalistic costumes put the focus on their dance. To this untrained eye it appeared to be quite good.



Nia and Kendall’s dance was not that spectacular to start with. And then Nia’s strap that was the only thing holding up her boobs popped. From there it was just her trying to keep from having her corset fall off the rest of the routine. While that was an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, I didn’t like the choreography at all.

After the duets but before group dances, the mini moms try to politely tell the old moms that their girls went to wish the girls doing their duets good luck and they were mean to them. The old moms don’t give a fuck. They learned it from them. Then the old moms attack the mini moms, literally. Kira gets up in their faces screaming at them and then shoved them out of the way and they left the room. #Klassy

The night before the competition, the Elites made up their own routine. The option Abby had given them was to do improve. While Abby has been very sane and easy-going this week, she has taken little interest in the Elites.

The minis were awesome especially for their very first lyrical. Even my special one, Peyton was on the beat. It was very cute. I hope the real music was less depressing.

The Elites dance was probably the best thing I have ever seen them do. It made me SUPER emotional. They probably one first overall. That dance right there is why I watch this show. I don’t understand why the whole auditorium was not on their feet.

Nia and Kendall got third place. That was a gift. The bad news is that Kalani and Brynn only got second.

The Minis took first AGAIN.  The Teen Group won first and the MC was put up to ask them who their choreographer was. They eventually said, “us.”

After the comp, the old moms act like fools once again. They tell Abby they have to pick their team over the minis or they might just walk. At this point, I’ve had enough of the old moms. Even Holly has become an old shrew with raggedy edges and a slick mouth.

Dance Moms

Mini Mayhem

This episode, Abby randomly puts Nia on top. WTF? I’ve been complaining about how she treats Nia for years. Especially when it comes to pyramid. But she is on top this week for coming in third behind another duet and managing to complete her dance after a wardrobe malfunction? AND HOLLY went at Abby in  threatening way after the competition? This is ridiculous. This was Kalani’s week. She led the group dance to victory.

Abby gives the Elites a dance called The End of the Road. Holly thinks this means Abby thinks the old team is washed up. I think it means that Holly and the other bitches keep threatening Abby that they are leaving because she is working with the minis. The minis dance is Mime Your Business. It’s their first acrobatic dance.

The two duets go to  teams of one mini with one junior. Brynn and Jo Jo are the two juniors. The two minis are two of the not Peytons.

The Competition

Brynn and Lillianna’s duet was cute. I thought Lilli was really good. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She’s seven! I could see here getting some roles for that performance. Brynn was fine too.  Abby did NOT look pleased. Even Lilli’s mom didn’t seem thrilled. I seem to be alone in my assessment. That said, it’s being edited all episode to be Jo Jo’s big chance to take down Brynn.

dance moms jojo

JoJo and Elliana’s duet is sort of a comedic one. However, Eliiana  says she is imaging herself to be Selena. Then she mentions to Brynn that the person who killed Selena was named Yolanda. And that’s her mom’s name. Wow, there’s some psychological damage oozing out.  Then Elliana totally blanked out on her part on stage. I don’t know that it mattered much because it was a horrible duet to start with.

The old moms refused to help the minis get their mime makeup done for the group dance. Not sure how I feel about that. I could argue either side.

The minis dances should take first again. I couldn’t really pick my kid out of the group. I would have had to put a hat on her or something.

I was bored by the Junior group dance. They were together and things went fine. I was very distracted around the fourth or fifth time they randomly picked the hem of their dresses up to show their granny panties. It just seems like an odd distraction. It was very Dorothy from Wizard of Oz if you had quintuple vision from quaaludes. Kind of relaxing and soothing, yet odd.

Brynn and her Ana came in second. JoJo and her Ana won first. That’s utterly ridiculous. That was not a first place number.

The Minis win first AGAIN!  The Juniors got fifth place.  They deserved it, but this is going to cause a brouhaha. Abby actually was more unhappy with the minis group. She said they are not performing as one unit. Of course not. They are a new group and they are first and second graders.


Filed under Dance Moms, Entertainment News

10 responses to “Double Dose of Dance Moms: Twice The Bitching

  1. Marsha Marsha Marsha

    Awesome recap Tamara, you nailed it big time. I am so sick of the bickering moms. Holly has lost her mind since Melissa and her girls left. I do miss Maddie and Mackenzie, they are so talented. I thought the random panty flashing was a bit much after the second time. Maybe a blue bottom thingie would have been a better choice. During the wizard of oz granny panty dance I did not recall the girls doing any walk overs, that would have helped the dance some in my ignorant opinion. I love the minis and want them to have the spotlight more. After all even housewives get replaced why not the elite dancers. Most of them are trying to be singers now anyway with the help of auto tune. That would leave Brynn and Kalina, which would be fine by me.

    Stay safe all those in the path of Mathew and I wish the best for you and your property.

  2. BeetsWhy

    I have a dilemma, I am starting to like the mini’s but I can NOT stand the moms. I don’t know their names, just their calling cards. I call one Giganteeth, one Cruella, and another to be named soon with the wandering eye/blinking, and the one with the tunnel between her front teeth. Even Abby called them out on their hideous makeup! Seriously, you know you are going to be on TV…fix that shit!

  3. Belle

    TT, the minis are filming season 7 now, they left to start filming at the end of August.

    • tamaratattles

      Except that Abby was furious that production decided not to use them for season seven. She was all over social media with her I hate production rants. It’s only been in the last couple of days that there were rumors of their return.

  4. Amy

    The old moms are the worst people on earth. It’s as if they have no memory of anything that ever happened on the show. And does no one remember when Abby gave Holly a makeover? Hahaha

  5. Cheryl B.

    Do you think production was the reason behind the Selena, Yolanda comment? The little girl also said she looked like a seal :). kalani said “Selena Gomez?” Would that 7 year old really know about Selena, let alone her murderers name?

  6. Happy gal

    I am so happy you recapped this as my DVR quit after the performances and before the winners were announced. I totally agree that Jojo and her mini were not better than Byrne and her mini and I don’t understand how they won! Bryne is a much better dancer although Jojo is a good actress however I found this dance to be obnoxious.

    I cannot get the mini moms names down at all!! I think production should have them wear name tags until I can get used to which one is screaming about what

    I wonder if the kids both the elite and the minis really do like each other if the moms poison seeps over and they secretly dispise the other girls on their team?

  7. Jason

    The minis were in fact dropped at the end of season 6.5. They only kept Lilly K and Elliana for season 7.

  8. cheychey

    I really like JoJo’s dancing especially her hop hop and dances that require emotion. That being said their dance this week was one of my least favorite any of them have done. It was ridiculously silly and simple. Brynn’s was so so. I didn’t get the group dance. What was the point of lifting your skirt over and over. I actually enjoyed the mini dance it was quite cute. The jealousy is real on the elites mom squad. These little girls have looked up to their daughters since the show came on. If that’s the way you treat fans of your kids work I wonder if you really deserve the platform you’re sitting on.

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